Chapter 052: Curses
Heero was a dead man.
It was one thing to become a suspect in Duo's quest to uncover just how his personal information was getting leaked to a dangerous man from L2. That wasn't preferable but it was something he could work around and find a way to live with until Heero could be cleared. But neglecting to tell him, on purpose, that he accepted an invitation for the two of them to Quatre's and hiding it for weeks was an act of complete betrayal. On top of that, he gave Duo less than 24 hours to mentally prepare himself for whatever Quatre had in mind.
Although in retrospect there was nothing, literally nothing, that could have prepared Duo for what he walked into when they arrived at Quatre's gathering.
In the dining room was a lavish spread of ham, glazed carrots, scalloped potatoes, deviled eggs, asparagus, biscuits, rolls, fresh fruit, layered lemon raspberry cake, painted eggs, cocktails… Duo didn't know where to look first. It was all very overwhelming and very foreign. Heero tugged his sleeve and gestured for him to take a seat at the table. Automatically he did, quietly wishing he was home and the two men he cared for most hadn't convinced him to attend this shindig. Because when Heero admitted what was going on, Duo texted Wufei. And that asshole immediately called him and backed up Heero. It was almost like they planned it that way.
"Our friend's life is being credibly threatened. The least we can do is show up and give him another day of normalcy."
Duo thought it was a load of crap, but Wufei used his scolding tone of voice and it made him cave. Now he was certain it was a load of crap. What was normal about Quatre celebrating Easter? In all the years they'd known each other he never once had to worry about this.
It wasn't like he avoided other people on Easter, that was something reserved for the generally inescapable Christmas. Instead he just preferred to ignore the holiday. The last place Duo wanted to be on Easter was a party, specifically to celebrate it, and he couldn't think of a worse place to attend such a party than Quatre's. Even Relena's might be preferable. She'd just ignore him but Quatre kept trying to be a good friend and it was insufferable.
"Before we eat would you like to say grace, Duo?"
While Quatre's eyes were beaming with hope Duo had a hard time processing his words. Say grace? He wasn't even religious. He wasn't even religious when he lived at the church, and openly debated it and defied his caretakers. He was certain the sole reason he was allowed to stay without conflict came down to who Father Maxwell and Sister Helen were, and their ability to accept beliefs unlike their own.
All eyes were on him. He looked down towards the fancy place setting in front of him and the meticulously folded napkin on top.
"Not really," he said softly. Awkward silence burned his flesh and Heero nudged him subtly under the table. "I'm, uh. Not very qualified." He glanced up towards Quatre and the worry in those aqua eyes sent a pang of guilt through him. "We can skip it. If that's okay."
The guilt only grew as their meal progressed and the others made idle chitchat. Even though there was a mountain of food Duo couldn't seem to stomach much. With his plate holding only a few bites of everything he was unable to finish any part of the meal. Even his single deviled egg had a just small portion taken from it before it was left untouched. Food waste was something he abhorred. What was left on his own plate was bad enough but the massive spread on the table was far more than those in attendance could eat. He wondered what would happen to the extra food. Partly he hoped Quatre's staff would finish it off but that only made him uncomfortable with the idea of them having leftovers rather than participating in the meal when it was fresh.
His lack of appetite did not go unnoticed.
"How's the food, Duo?"
He froze with his fork halfway to poking the ham again. "It's good, thanks."
Quatre shot a glance to Trowa and in return got his hand squeezed reassuringly. After making brief eye contact with Wufei and Heero he found the courage to ask "Is this… not right?"
The empty tone of Duo's voice as he replied "It's fine, really" did nothing to ease Quatre's worry.
"I had the wrong food made, didn't I? What would be correct? Please tell me. I can have the chef–"
"Just STOP IT." Duo dropped his fork and winced when it hit the plate with a small clatter. "Please." As soon as the words left his mouth and hit his ears Duo knew he was behaving like a little shit. Poor Quatre was trying his best and Duo was being a lousy asshole about everything. He saw Quatre process his words and silently stand to leave. Everyone watched him go. Even Trowa gave the blonde man some space. It caused an ever more familiar pit to form in Duo's stomach. He hated how often this feeling was occurring.
They all sat in silence around the table, unmoving. Normally it would be himself or Quatre who eased any tension but he wasn't up to the task. From the moment Heero told him where they were going and on what day he knew it would be a disaster. He also knew it was an opportunity not to be squandered.
Suddenly he had an epiphany.
With life in him he hadn't possessed throughout the meal Duo jumped up and raced after Quatre. He didn't see the others exchange worried looks but he did hear their chairs moving against the floor when they eventually followed.
Quatre's heart was racing. Everything he'd done was wrong. Every move he made to try and make amends was met with hostility or micro-aggressions. He wasn't supposed to be upset with Duo but he couldn't help himself. What else was he supposed to do? Was Duo planning to torture him forever? Was that his punishment for years of mistreatment?
Trowa told him Duo was a forgiving person but if that was true he extended none of his grace to him and it hurt.
Text messages? Ignored or responded to with one word.
Emails? The same.
He grabbed Duo's cross from the fireplace at Relena's and it earned him eye contact. Encouraged, he pretended to enjoy hockey in the hope that they could bond over having some shared fun. Duo simply gave him disapproving looks.
After he got word about the hostage situation at Preventers Headquarters he was legitimately worried about Duo's condition. He took a leap and made an actual phone call to check in and see if he needed anything. The act terrified him. Once again he was sent to voicemail, and that meant he'd never get a reply. Duo's recorded voicemail specifically stated he would never listen to any messages and then a computerized response informed him the mailbox was full.
Quatre found himself in the kitchen. One look at him and the staff disappeared. If they could see what this did to him, why couldn't Duo?
Did Duo think this was easy for him? Or did Duo want him to suffer? Didn't he know how much Quatre was dealing with? He went out of his way to host Easter specifically to build a bridge with Duo even with the latest threat against his life. If he was going to die soon, he wanted to repair his friend group. Couldn't Duo extend an olive branch?
He was tired of being the bad guy. He was so tired of his friends never taking his side. He spent months working on his relationship with Trowa, and that actually yielded a result. He still wasn't fully back to the way things were between himself and Heero before Duo showed up, and he missed their friendship. He missed being needed.
Trowa told him, in one of their lengthy conversations, that he thrived on helping others and that Duo never asking for help contributed to their disconnect.
He wasn't wrong.
Wufei rarely reached out to him for help with anything and they never managed to keep a close friendship between them. They were friends, but they weren't friends who relied on one another. Heero relied on him when he was lost. Heero called him for advice. Wufei was friendly in person and never appeared disappointed to see him, but they never really spent time one on one. Even so, they were still friends.
Duo was not his friend. He rejected Quatre at every turn. Why couldn't Duo follow in Wufei's footsteps? Why did Duo reject every gesture he made to mend fences? It would make everyone's lives easier if they'd only get along.
His heart was racing and he could feel his blood pressure rising. Quatre needed an outlet, and without thinking he looked around the kitchen, spotted some eggs, and before he knew it multiple satisfying and quick cracks sounded from a far wall. He watched, stunned, as the remainder of the eggs he threw slipped down in a viscous mess. Their velocity left some small pieces of shell still adhered to the wall where they struck, while the rest of the shells lay on the floor.
It occurred to him, suddenly and with great dread, that he didn't know where the cleaning supplies were stored. So he stared, emptiness consuming him, watching the mix of egg white and yolk lose speed until it was no longer visibly running down the wall, before fully losing his cool.
Duo found Quatre pacing his large kitchen, oblivious to his entrance. He ran into some of the staff in the hallway and they silently pointed him in the right direction when he simply made a vague and questioning hand gesture. Quatre's staff was always great. They knew what he was asking without words, and he saluted them in thanks.
When he spotted Quatre the other man was mumbling to himself with increasing volume, violently gesturing with his hands until he was loudly cursing in a long string of colorful Arabic phrases.
Duo's eyes grew wide and he couldn't help but smile. He tried to suppress a laugh but failed, causing Quatre to whip around to see him standing on the opposite side of the room. He saw Duo, eyes shut tightly as he reached two hands up to cover his face before doubling over with more laughter. Though his joy eventually faded the amusement remained clear on his features. Quatre was both furious and mortified.
"Oh man!" he got out before catching his breath. "I didn't hear ya curse once during the war and this is what gets you there? Your mouth is filthy!" He didn't seem to mind how Quatre looked equal parts terrified and confused. The blonde's sudden blush only amplified Duo's smile into a full-on grin, the laughter now having settled into his eyes. "I didn't know ya had it in you to talk like a Sweeper! But insulting my folks isn't gonna land like you want. For all I know you're right about them. Maybe my father was cursed! For best results, stick to the direct insults."
Anger fully took hold of Quatre, and he viciously spat out "Are you seriously standing in my house, delighting in my pain? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
His hands shot up to his head, grabbing blond locks on both sides and he let out a guttural scream and turned around, eventually sliding down the front of the refrigerator and settling on the floor. He looked defeated, and Duo quietly walked forward and around his large kitchen island to sit across from him. The tile floor was cold, and the cabinet doors of the island were uncomfortable on his back. Quatre didn't look up or acknowledge him. Duo took in a deep breath and spoke softly.
"It's a little bit of that, sure. But honestly I'm glad to see you kinda falling apart. It makes you more relatable, I guess." Quatre still didn't look up.
"I actually liked you during Meteor, you know? At first I thought… here's a guy who shouldn't be fighting. He's too kind to be in the middle of a war. But you weren't stupid. And you were a real breath of fresh air compared to the others. I found myself with three repressed, cold, and calculating little soldiers and you, the one with a heart." Those words got Quatre to make eye contact, but the emotions held behind aqua orbs were full of conflict. Duo continued, hoping to pull Quatre out of whatever dark place he sank into.
"I dunno if it's because we spent such short amounts of time together during intense and difficult months, but I enjoyed your company back then. I know we all grow up and change, but I miss that Quatre."
The blonde man tilted his head and carefully examined Duo. When he spoke it was equally soft, and with reverence. "That's the first time you've called me Quatre since you returned to us." Duo gave him a slightly puzzled look and he clarified "You called us all by our last names. Eventually you eased up with the others, but for months now I've been the only one..."
A sincere smile crept onto Duo's face. "Well this is the first time you've really showed yourself without filters or putting up a front, Quatre."
Warmth spread through him. After all the effort he put into making things right at the encouragement of Trowa all he actually needed to do was let down his proverbial hair and stop trying to be perfectly polite. Maybe it wasn't too late to repair their group dynamic. All he ever wanted was to be kind to others, and he'd failed spectacularly with Duo. Their relationship was one of his greatest personal failures.
"And for the record, I'm sorry for bein' an ass." Those words surprised Quatre. He wasn't expecting an apology when everyone agreed Duo did nothing wrong. But he wasn't done talking. "It was real nice of you to host an Easter dinner, and I appreciate what you were trying to do. But I've never really had one so I dunno much about it, 'cept that it brought up a whole lot of feelings I didn't wanna deal with."
Quatre's expression shifted into understanding, then confusion. "Not even at the church?"
Duo's voice dropped to a near whisper. "Nah. We didn't have much. And I was only with them for two Easters. But Sister Helen made a killer Capirotada. Was cheap enough to make and special enough for an occasion." He saw Quatre trying to piece that together. "Bread pudding" he clarified.
It was all Quatre could do not to laugh. A simple bread pudding would've been perfect and here he'd thrown together what his research told him was a typical American Easter feast. "I should've consulted you."
"It's okay."
"I thought maybe a surprise was the best way to go."
Duo smiled softly. "It was. I'd have refused if you didn't ambush me."
The honesty struck Quatre, and he smiled back. Hesitantly he asked "Do you… do you think we will ever be okay?"
Footsteps finally approached, and Duo's eyes shifted up and over his shoulder to gesture behind him. "The guys just get here?"
Quatre looked up and confirmed with a slight nod. He wasn't expecting Duo to shift his demeanor and bark out "Go the fuck away! This is between me and Winner!" Wide aqua eyes snapped back to Duo, who wasn't paying attention to him. "I said get the fuck out! Give us some goddamn space!"
Quatre's eyes darted to the others, and after a second of locking eyes with Trowa his friends began to retreat. He was still looking to the other side of the kitchen when Duo quietly asked "Heero still here?"
Without breaking his gaze he replied "no. It's Trowa."
"BARTON!" The volume of Duo's voice made Quatre jump and turn towards him. "GET OUT! WE'RE TALKING!" His eyes shifted back to Quatre's and he quietly asked "He gone?"
Quatre stared at him for a moment, not sure what to make of his behavior. Duo's mood seemed to swing wildly like a pendulum. "Yeah, he's gone." He watched as Duo took in a deliberate and deep breath, letting it out slowly. They locked eyes again.
"Listen, Quatre. I need a favor from you. I need your help."
Excitement coursed through Quatre as he realized this was exactly what Trowa talked to him about. He did thrive on helping others, and here Duo was finally, for the first time, asking for his help. This was the olive branch he was waiting for while texting and calling and getting ignored.
"Sure. Anything."
Duo shot him an incredulous look.
"Don't agree before you know what it is. Because you're really not going to like it."
Quatre felt uneasy as he looked into Duo's eyes and realized he wasn't joking.