Disclaimer: Hawaii Five-0 and its characters do not belong to me.
A/N: Hey guys, I'm back with another short story. A little nervous about this one but hoping you guys would enjoy it!
...
Danno...
A soft smile secretly crept up on his face. The loud whirring in the aircraft hardly bothered him. The crippling fatigue after close to two months on the battlefield was shoved to the back of his mind. The deep aches throughout his body, reminding him of his age, didn't seem to even register in his mind. All that mattered to him was the fact that he was finally on his way home. Minutes away from home, to be exact.
Home... To his Danno.
Hawaii had always been his home since he was a kid. Where his grandfather grew up, where his father grew up and where he too spent most of his formative years. But once upon a time, he had dreaded coming home. After his mother's supposed death, his dad had put up a wall around himself which he knew now was to protect him and Mary. But back then, he couldn't quite understand it and Hawaii had only held painful memories for him.
He had returned to Hawaii only to bury his father, to pay one last respect to the man he still idolised. Never had he meant to stay for long on the island. Never had he meant to rebuild a home on the island. But something, or rather, someone had compelled him to take up the governor's job and stay on in the island after barely 5 minutes of meeting him. He should have known even then. How it took him 5 long years to figure that out was a mystery... Or maybe, Danny had been right along. He must have been dropped on the head when he was young.
A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he imagined his partner's passionate rant. A soft fluttering in his chest as Danny's voice that he longed to hear played in his mind.
"You alright there?"
He looked up at the man sitting opposite him, still unable to wipe the stupid grin off his face.
"More than alright, Joe." He smiled.
He was more than alright. In fact he had never been this alright. Apparently 2 months away from home, from Danny, was what he had needed. It was just the jolt that he needed to realise that his love for his partner was more than he had ever imagined.
He loved his Danno. In every sense of the word.
Two bullets to the chest were exactly what he had needed to quite literally knock some senses into his head. It had been just two days before he was scheduled to go home. They were wrapping up their mission, a highly classified one that had prevented him from even contacting his team and family.
It was just two days before he would have been reunited with his Ohana. But nothing ever was easy in his life, was it? His team had been ambushed and was under heavy fire. With intense focus, his team had fought their darndest. They were finally gaining the upper hand when one of his teammates was critically injured, shot in the thigh and neck. He couldn't leave the guy out in the open to. He would never allow his teammate to be abandoned.
In his haste to drag the guy behind cover, he had taken two shots to his chest. He had landed harshly on the ground, breath knocked out of him. His vision greyed as the sound of gunfire continued in the background. Pain seared through his chest and his eyelids fluttered heavily. That was it for him, he thought. And in that moment which he thought was his last, his mind had conjured up just one word.
Danno...
That was his only thought. In the face of death, he could only think of his partner. That he was two days away from seeing his partner again and he had screwed up massively. He would never see Danny's face ever again. That was his only thought.
As he felt his limp body being dragged across the rough gravel, the sound of gunfire began to fade. He wasn't sure if his consciousness was waning or the gunfight was coming to an end. He gasped for breath, his hand desperately reaching out to his chest to soothe the torturous agony raging beneath his ribs.
"It didn't go through! You're okay, Steven. Steve, you hear me? You're okay, just hang in there!"
His ragged breath that was coming in short spurts slowed slightly as he looked up at his mentor's face. He fought the nauseating lump brewing in his chest and the strong urge to shut his eyes.
He was okay. He wasn't dead. He still had time. Precious time he could not waste. His consciousness blurred with agony yet he knew with utmost clarity what he felt in his heart. Without an ounce of uncertainty, he knew he had something extremely important to do. Something he would regret not doing if he had indeed died. Something he desperately needed to tell his Danno...
And with that final thought, consciousness had eluded him. He had been lucky, they told him when he woke up an hour later. His teammate (that he had tried to save) hadn't been quite as lucky... The guy had succumbed to his injuries. Two days shy of going home, his teammate had died. But with god's strange act of mercy, he was still alive. It could have been him, he knew. Yet somehow, he had escaped almost unscathed with merely a fractured rib and superficial bruising.
He had been lucky indeed.
Which was why he had made the decision to not waste another minute of his life without letting Danny know of his true feelings. The blueish purple bruises hidden under his uniform were still a little too tender, a persistent ache in his chest which reminded him of just how close he had missed his shot at happiness. But he wouldn't let that happen.
The moment the plane touched down, he was heading home. He was going to spend about 2 hours in the shower after only having 3 minute showers for the past two months. He was going to shave off the hideous beard on his face and gel up his hair if he could find a tub somewhere that Danny might have left behind.
There has to be one somewhere, he thought while a smile graced his lips. The guy cared more about his hair than anything Steve could possibly think of. How had he fallen in love with someone like Danny, he had no idea. He shook his head sheepishly as he thought of his partner, knowing full well Joe's eyes were still analysing him.
He had decided that later, he was going to put on his favourite shirt. Nothing fancy. Just a plain black collared shirt. A shirt that Danny had gifted him a year ago so he would 'look a little more civilized' for Grace's parent-teacher meeting which he had somehow forced his way into going with Danny. And only then, when he knew he looked like the most presentable version of Steve McGarrett to his Danno, was he heading out to meet his partner.
He could hardly wait for the moment. The moment that his eyes would finally land on Danny's face. The actual Danny and not just the photograph of Danny and Grace that he had snitched from his partner some time ago and subconsciously packed along for his mission.
The fluttering in his chest intensified.
To say he wasn't scared would be a lie. Boy, he was so darn afraid. More than a couple of times the thought had lingered in his head - what if Danny didn't feel the same way towards him? It scared him endlessly that this might be one sided, that the life he dreamed of with his partner would never be a reality. But honestly, it didn't quite matter to him. Danny didn't need to feel the same way towards him. He just wanted his partner to know how he felt because it would be his greatest regret in life if he went to the grave without letting his partner know just how much he meant to him.
Of course, the best case scenario would be that Danny accepted his feelings. But he was prepared to accept whatever it was his partner wanted. Nothing would change for him even if Danny said no to him. His love for his partner would remain because his love wasn't contingent on acceptance.
His love just was. It was just for his Danno. And that made it all the more special.
...
Steve...
He opened his drawer and reached for the one thing that had been keeping him sane for the past two months. He looked at the piece of crumpled up paper in his hands. The words that were scrawled in Steve's almost illegible writing.
Been called up to the reserves. By the time you get this, I'll no longer be on the island. Sorry I couldn't tell you sooner. I'll be home soon, Danno. In the meantime, hold the fort for me. Love you, partner. Take care.
He clutched the piece of paper, a finger caressing the words written on it like they were his most precious possession. He remembered crumpling up the piece of paper and throwing it to the end of his office when he had found it that unsuspecting Monday morning two months ago.
He had been the first to arrive at the office that day. It wasn't unusual as Steve had his weekly meetings with the Governor on Monday mornings. But when he had walked into his office and noticed a note on his otherwise neat desk, a disconcerting feeling had clenched his chest. It could have been anything but somehow, he knew it wasn't something he would like.
His dumb SEAL had been called up to the reserves. Steve was gone and he had left with nothing but a half-assed note. Not even a short visit to his home or a phone call. Just a note written on a piece of torn envelope.
He would never know that Steve had contemplated going to his house, in fact the SEAL had reached the front of his house at 3 in the morning, but he had stopped himself from knocking on the door. He would never know that Steve had stood in front of his gates for 30 minutes he could barely afford. He would never know how difficult it had been for Steve to leave.
All he knew was that his partner had left without a proper goodbye. Which was why he had been so angry when he had found the note, to think that that was all he was worth to the Navy SEAL. Yet, it had only taken him all of two seconds to shove that anger aside and walked over to where the note lay on the ground.
He had picked it up, straightened it and run a finger on those words just like he did now. Whispering to no one but himself, a tear had slid down his eye.
"You'd better come home. I'm waiting. I love you too, Steve.."
And that was when he knew...
No, that was actually a lie. A big, fat, giant lie.
He had always known. He had always known that the feelings he had for his partner was way more than what he had revealed. He had always known that he loved his partner more than as a friend or a brother.
He loved his Steve. In every sense of the word
He wanted to spend every waking moment with Steve. He had secretly enjoyed the married jokes thrown their way. Maybe someday, between all those jokes, Steve would finally open up to the idea. He could dream, right? But deep down, he always knew it would never happen. Which was why he could never conjure up the courage to reveal his feelings to his partner. He just never could. Because he was as sure as anything that Steve didn't return his feelings.
Yet, as he had stood alone in his office, faced with the very real prospect of never seeing his partner again... Not knowing if and when his partner would come home... Not knowing if Steve would come home alive. It was just the jolt that he needed to realise that he couldn't waste any more time. If and when Steve came home, he would not waste another minute to tell Steve exactly what he had kept hidden in his heart for years now.
And so, since that day two months ago, he had waited for the day his partner would come home. There had been no calls, no letters, no nothing. He didn't have any idea where his partner even was. And as they say, no news was good news and he clutched on to that with every fibre of his being.
Still, every day, he feared that he would get the call. That his partner had died on some godforsaken land. The call that would quite literally kill him.
As it was, he was hardly living, worry spreading through his cells and suffocating him. Yet he had to put on a strong front. For his team, for his children and for Steve. He had to trust that Steve would return. Just a matter of when.
He missed his partner. Two months had been the longest he had been away from Steve. And without any form of contact at that. He was barely coping. He had self-invited himself into Steve's home on more than one occassion. Steve's scent still lurked in his room, the fragrance of his cologne forever embeded in his closet and bedsheet. His partner's voice still echoed through the kitchen as they had their long-standing bicker on whether putting butter in coffee was a good idea. His partner's smirk was fresh in his mind as he imagined Steve walking through the lanai, dripping wet with seawater after his daily Olympic training. The sight of Steve's full devotion to the chips as they had their fortnightly movie nights with Grace appeared in his head each time he passed by the couch. But he couldn't wait for it all to no longer be his imagination. He couldn't wait to see Steve, hold him in his arms and tell him the most important truth in his life.
For now, all he had was a pathetic, crumpled up, scrap piece of paper.
When are you coming home? He voiced even though no one would answer the question he had asked on the daily. I miss you like crap, he thought to himself as he folded up the piece of paper neatly and safely tucked it back into his drawer.
He returned his attention to the paperwork staring at him on his laptop. The one and only good thing that had come out of Steve being away was that paperwork had been easier to fill up without Steve's crazy antics complicating matters. Finishing up the report, he clicked submit just as his phone chimed cheerfully.
His gaze dropped to the lit screen. His heart leapt as his partner's face, with that loveable grin, appeared on his screen. His hand trembled as he reached for his phone. He swallowed nervously. He had waited two long months for this.
"Steve?" He answered, his voice wavering with a mix of anticipation, joy and a little bit of fear.
"Danno." His partner breathed, saying his name so softly. It was almost endearing.
"Steve.." He choked up, his partner's gravelly voice skyrocketing his heart rate.
"Missed me yet, partner?" Steve said. "I see you've been by my place quite a bit, huh? Moved my stuff around too."
His chest seized. His neurons were firing erratically. "You're home?" He breathed out. His partner was home. More importantly, Steve was alive. His wait was over.
"I'm home." Steve confirmed and automatically, tears sprung up in his eyes.
"You're really home." He said unsteadily, resting his elbow on the table and clutching his forehead in dizzying relief.
"I'm home, Danno. I'm back."
He looked up when there was a knock on his door. Chin pushed the door open and peered at him with concern, probably thinking the worse from the tears that were now falling uncontrollably down his face. Behind the Asian, Kono and Lou too were making their way to his office. He hadn't been the only one crippled with worry over Steve's well-being while being deployed.
He shook his head, affording a small smile.
Steve's home. He mouthed.
Instantly, their faces perked up.
"Tell him!" Kono almost yelped.
He smiled sheepishly. They knew. He had let it slip one silly, drunken night. In a mix of alcohol and tears, he had revealed his feelings for his partner to his teammates. He had feared their reactions when he had sobered up the following day. He had contemplated calling in sick or even vanishing into thin air. Eventually, he had plucked up his courage and showed up to work the following Monday. He had feigned alcohol-induced amnesia, avoiding talking about the night, about his feelings for his partner. But that had lasted about 5 minutes before Kono's excitement had burst at the seams, eyes brimming with so much joy as though it was she who was in love. Chin though calm, hadn't left him off the hook either. And Lou? Well, the big guy had just stared at him with a knowing smirk on the face. A million questions later, with satisfied smirks on his colleagues' faces, he finally asked them the one question he had. If they thought Steve felt the same way too...
Honestly, he was more than a little afraid that Steve wouldn't feel the same way towards him. That Steve wouldn't accept his love. That was exactly what had stopped him from telling Steve all this time. Yet, now, it was no longer going to stop him. Because he couldn't lose Steve without ever telling him. Steve needed to know just how much rent he owed him because he was taking up too much space in his chest. Steve needed to know that he was the most important person in his life. Even if those feelings will never be returned, even if they would never lead the life he had always dreamt of for them, it was fine. He needed to get this longing ache off his chest.
"Danno, you still there? You okay?"
"Yeah..yeah I'm here." He said hurriedly. "Stay home, I'm coming. The..there's uh something I need to tell you."
"Yeah? There's something I need to tell you too." Steve said. "But umm, not at home. I'll text you a location. Meet me there."
Confused but contented, he nodded even if Steve couldn't see him. "Okay." He smiled. He would go to the ends of the earth if Steve asked him to.
"I'll see you soon, partner."
"Hey Steve? I missed you. I'm glad you're home."
"Me too, Danno. I'm glad I'm home." With you, he didn't hear Steve say as his partner had hung up the phone before saying it.
He looked up at his colleagues anticipating glares and breathed unsteadily.
"You alright, Danny?" Chin asked.
"I..uh..I.. he's home.. I need to see him. You guys can cover me?" Danny asked. Butterflies in the stomach, yeah he could feel them right now.
"What nonsense? Of course we'll cover you. Go! Go see your guy!" Lou intercepted.
"Right! And don't even think about coming back till you've told him." Chin continued.
"I'm actually.." He inhaled unsteadily. "..a little nervous." He chuckled nervously at the ridicuility of it all.
"Brah, don't be. You've been waiting for this for two months." Kono said. "And if Steve, doesn't return your feelings, I'm gonna change my name. Right after I smack him on the back of his head."
He laughed, hiding the pang in his chest. If Steve didn't accept his love, he told himself it didn't matter. That he would still love his partner whole-heartedly even if he had to hide it deep in his chest. Still, it wouldn't hurt if Steve did in fact love him too.
His phone chimed with a text from Steve with the location on it. An Italian restaurant for some reason...
"Alright, I gotta go.. uhh.. wish me luck?" He looked at his colleagues once again as he hurriedly collected his keys and phone before heading out.
He was going to see his Steve.
...
His heart skipped a beat as his eyes landed on his partner's face. His face morphed into a grin, mirroring the one on his partner's face. He bit his lip, trying to contain the inexplicable joy bubbling in his chest. The distance between them was too far. He couldn't wait to hold his partner in his arms, couldn't wait to rest his head on his partner's shoulder.
One hundred metres and a red light were all that was separating them. He licked his lips nervously, his feet fidgeting as his eyes roamed from the traffic signal to his partner's face.
He stepped off the side walk once the light changed except his partner did too. So he stepped back up, waiting for his partner to reach him even though all he wanted to do was to run over to his partner. The too large grin on his face almost hurt his cheeks.
Fifty metres... His partner was so close to him. He was so close to holding his partner in his arms and with each step that his partner took towards him, the trepidation in his chest increased.
I love you so much... I love you more than anything...
"Watch out!" Shocked gasps from the people behind his partner jolted him.
His eyes had been fixed on his partner that he never saw the car that was swerving dangerously fast towards his partner. On instinct, he sped towards his love, shoving him hard on the chest just as 2 tonnes of metal struck him on his hip.
For several moments, he was suspended in air before his shoulder loudly contacted the roof of the moving car. As the car didn't attempt to stop, his body rolled off the roof and he landed harshly head first onto the scorching asphalt.
He lay on the ground, unable to move as warm fluid spread beneath his head. Eyes fluttering as he tried his best to stay conscious, he locked eyes with his partner. The look of pure horror in his partner's face would forever cause a devastating ache in his chest.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
His fingers twitched, reaching out to his partner.
I need to tell you..
He would get up and hug his partner if only to wipe off that haunted look from his partner's face. But his body was no longer in his control. Breathing was becoming too difficult for some reason. He felt his whole body convulse, his chest constricting for precious air. His vision blurred, both from the tears collecting in his eyes and the throbbing in his head.
I love you..
He fought the overwhelming desire to shut down. He wanted to see his partner if for even a second more. Yet, he wasn't strong enough. The agony ravaging him squeezed the air out of him and his world faded to black as his partner's voice screaming his name was the last thing he heard.
It had always been you...
...
A/N: If you got to the end of this chapter, thanks for reading! Sorry for the angsty piece, I don't really know why this idea came and wouldn't leave. As you guys know by now, I can never let the Steve and Danno off without some whump and angst. Hope you've enjoyed it and please drop a review if you did! Take care:)