Pound. Pound. Pound.
Matilda winced. Why could she feel her heartbeat in her head? She was still halfway in and out of consciousness, only barely aware of disembodied voices somewhere off in the distance. She swallowed, immediately repulsed by the sour taste that had formed in her mouth overnight.
"So is she special needs?" a voice Matilda didn't recognize asked.
"Something like that." a more familiar voice said after a pause. "Very intelligent, but..." But? But what? Even her semi-conscious mind knew they were talking about her. There was another long pause. Matilda's ears were burning, almost daring Eve to finish that sentence. "I've only just recently met her a few weeks ago mind you, but she just seems different."
"Different how?" The stranger asked.
"I can't explain it, not off, just a little odd. She's a sweet girl, very intelligent like I said, but a bit slow when it comes to social cues I'm starting to learn, that, or she just has incredibly selective hearing. "
The stranger giggled.
"Eve, you said she's five. Of course, she's not going to listen. Since when has your daughter ever listened to me?" Now it was Eve's turn to laugh before letting out a groan.
"That's more because 'Tens has no respect for authority. Good lord, if I get one more call from her school, so help me!" They both giggled now. "No, Matilda isn't intentionally disobedient from what I've seen, unlike someone else we know, she just doesn't act her age."
"Oh? Still in the toddler stage? Is that why she's still in diapers?"
"No, no, quite the opposite, I'd swear she thinks she's 30. If she wasn't hurt, she'd probably try vacuuming and making you lunch instead of the other way around. It's like she has no idea what it means to be five. Her foster mom, no wait, it's a little more complicated. Her year one teacher adopted her."
"Really? Talk about taking your work home with you." More giggling.
"That woman has the patience of a saint with young kids. She says Matilda was neglected, so she has a hard time trusting people. She's very independent, but she doesn't really know her limits. You'll have to keep a close eye on her, so she doesn't make it worse."
"Make what worse?"
"Ahh, it's really my fault. She was upset last night about her mom being in the hospital again and wasn't talking or eating. She tried to tell me in her own way she couldn't swallow, but I wasn't paying attention and made her eat. She ended up choking and I just sat there. It was 'Tens who ended up giving her the Heimlich, albeit very badly. She managed to cough it out, but not without cracking a rib. She's not very mobile at the moment. That's why she's in diapers."
"Oh, the poor thing."
"She's still trying to get up and go to the restroom on her own. Please make sure she doesn't. She's going to hurt herself even more. She doesn't want to use them, and i'm sure you don't want to change them, so if you want to work something out with her, feel free to use your best judgement. I just put them on her to get her through the night, unfortunately, she didn't seem to get the memo and still woke us all up at 3 in the morning to try and get someone to take her to the restroom."
"I wish some of that determination would rub off on Chuckie. Sounds like i've got one extreme and the other today."
"Still no luck?"
Matilda tuned out their conversation now that they were no longer talking about her. She felt like she could sleep for five more hours. She wished they would stop talking. Every word seemed to reverberate through her skull and her stomach along with her mouth felt sour. She didn't need this today. She was miserable enough without a -. Matilda frowned in confusion. The first word she had thought of was "hangover", but clearly that wasn't it. She had read about them sure, but she was hardly in a position to be drinking alcohol. She was five. What did someone do? Spike her milk?
While she was in the middle of taking stock of what body parts hurt where, she felt something wet land on her face, forcing her to open her eyes for the first time. It took a second for things to come into focus, but when they did, she let out an involuntary scream. There, right above her face stood a boy towering over her.
"Matilda, are you alright?" Eve asked emerging from the kitchen. Matilda looked back at the older boy standing over her and frowned. The boy let out a dopey looking grin. Now that her bearings were slowly coming back to her, Matilda took in his baby face, and nearly toothless smile. He wasn't an older boy at all. He was just the biggest toddler she had ever seen.
"You must be Chunky." Matilda said quietly once she managed to catch her breath. She wiped at her face and stared at the liquid on the back of her hand, then back to the giant toddler. Her stomach began to somersault. He had drooled on her.
"Are you alright?" Eve asked again.
"Yes, he just scared me." Matilda said. She tried to swallow and tasted more of the sourness. Her mouth was watering, filling with the taste. "Eve, I don't feel good."
"What's wrong? Is it your side?"
"I don't feel good." was all Matilda could think of to say before putting her closed fist to her mouth and swallowing again.
"Oh no, not now." Eve groaned. "You've got to be kidding." She ran back into the kitchen before re-emerging with a large mixing bowl and a little cup of pink medicine. "Can you sit up?" Matilda slowly propped herself on her elbows and inched herself up until she was in a somewhat sitting position. The mixing bowl was thrust into her hands, and before she could process anything, the tiny cup of medicine was dumped into her partially open mouth. She could feel a streak of it running down her chin. "Swallow."
Fighting against her gag reflex, she swallowed the Pepto down, before making a face and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
"If Cynthia asks, tell her you ate something bad." Eve whispered in her ear. Matilda was clutching the bowl with both hands, trying to will her stomach into submission.
"She's the germaphobe. The one I couldn't ask to use their restroom." Matilda said between deep breaths.
"Yes, exactly. If she thinks you're sick, she'll pack up and leave. I can't afford to miss any more work, but I also can't get anyone to watch you on short notice."
"Hortensia's here." Matilda mumbled.
"Yes, that's what worries me." Eve said.
"She's not bad. I like her."
"That also worries me."
Matilda smiled weakly. "We won't get into trouble. I'll sleep and she'll watch tv."
"Mm hmm, and what about the problem you found yourself in last night? She can't help you, and you'll be stuck in the same diaper until someone picks you up. I don't think you'll be very happy about that. If you think she'll help you change, you're barking up the wrong tree."
Matilda scowled. Even if Hortensia was willing to help... She shuddered. There's no way Matilda would let her. There were boundaries friends didn't cross. She'd rather be left naked in the grass.
"She'd break my leg trying." Matilda said. Eve laughed.
"She doesn't know the first thing about changing a diaper, she'd probably try and fit it over your head." Matilda gave another weak smile. "I said I'd try and walk you to the bathroom before I left for work. Are you up for it?" Matilda shook her head. She'd probably puke if she tried to stand up. "I'm glad to see you're not willing to hurt yourself more over this. I'll be back later to sort you out."
Matilda closed her eyes and rested her head on the back of the couch once Eve retreated back to the kitchen. Her mind couldn't put two and two together. All she could focus on was not getting sick. It had felt like only a second since she'd left, but Eve was already back. She handed Matilda a bottle of water. She gratefully accepted it and took slow, tentative sips. It seemed to help ease the nausea a bit.
"Have you gone potty yet? I've given you ten minutes." Matilda stared at her. Had she been supposed to? Matilda shook her head.
"I just want to sleep."
"Okay, if that's what you want. Cynthia will be here if you need anything. I hope you feel better."
"Thanks." Matilda mumbled. She set the mixing bowl on the floor, relieved she hadn't ended up needing it after all, and inched her way back down.
When she awoke again to the shrill sounds of a toddler screaming, she let out an audible groan.
"Give it back you little-" Hortensia was running through the house chasing Chuckie, who had taken the remote. Matilda sat up and rubbed at her temples. She didn't think it was possible to feel worse than she had this morning, but she did. At least she didn't feel in danger of throwing up.
"Good morning sleepy head." The unfamiliar voice from earlier said. Matilda turned to find one of the largest woman she had ever seen sitting on the opposite end of the couch. She wasn't fat, just incredibly tall and strong looking. She wondered if she was Samoan. It would explain the size of the kid. Matilda felt a pang of relief. This woman would have no problem picking her up.
"Hi," Matilda mumbled. She reached down for her water bottle and took a few sips noticing that the mixing bowl she had been given to be sick in was now filled with popcorn and sitting in Cynthia's lap. Her stomach gave another twirl of disgust. Either Eve had shoved the nearest container in Matilda's lap in a panic, or Cynthia was now eating out of the family barf bucket. The Wormwoods had kept theirs under the sink, but no one had ever brought it to her. She had been expected to fend for herself for as long as she could remember.
It had been months now, but it still felt surreal. The very concept of someone bringing her medicine when she wasn't feeling well would have been unheard of. Maybe if Jenny threw her out Eve would take her? Or maybe Mrs. Rodgers? It would be a steep decline in her quality of life, but they still showed her more kindness than she would have imagined possible months ago.
A sharp cramp in her abdomen snapped her from her train of thought, followed by a familiar heaviness. No, no, no. Not now. Not like this.
"Is something wrong?" Cynthia asked.
"Could you take me to the restroom, please?" Matilda asked through clenched teeth. Another cramp had nearly doubled her over. She couldn't let Cynthia know.
"Of course, sweetheart." Suddenly, there was a loud bang followed by a crash coming from the kitchen. Chuckie began wailing and Hortensia was yelling at him. Cynthia let out a groan. "Hold that thought, I'll be right back." Matilda wanted to beg her to stop. She didn't have time for this, but Cynthia was up and out of her chair before Matilda could open her mouth.
"You! You need to settle down right now!" Matilda heard her yell.
"What did I do? He's the one who ran into the table!" Hortensia yelled back.
"You were chasing him!"
"He stole the remote!"
Matilda was beginning to panic. The weight on her backside was growing heavier and heavier. There was no hiding she had diarrhea. Her only hope was getting to the toilet and hoping it sounded watery enough to be urine. Matilda could flush the toilet before Cynthia saw anything, that wasn't the problem. The issue was air. But as more and more time passed with Cynthia dealing with whatever was happening in the kitchen, the more Matilda doubted she would make it far enough. She was just about to give up completely when she noticed something sitting in the other room behind her. Was that what she thought it was? There was only one way to know for sure.
Matilda focused her eyes on the white bulky object before motioning it over with a finger. It soundlessly slid across the carpeted floor until it came to rest by the couch next to her. She stared at it feeling more elated with every second. They must have brought it for her, there was no other explanation. It was half the size of a kitchen mop bucket with a toilet seat on it. It was the most beautiful thing Matilda had ever seen. The only question was how to get on it. With a grimace and moans of pain silenced by a closed fist to her lips, Matilda managed to scoot herself to the foot rest of the recliner before tearing the tapes off the diaper and pressing the button to lower herself down to the portable toilet. With a bit of adjusting and a lot of pain, she had managed to situate herself correctly just in the nic of time.
The feeling of letting go without soiling herself was near euphoria. She could have sworn her eyes had nearly rolled into the back of her head. She felt like the luckiest person on the planet, that was until the Amazon sized toddler strolled into the room and saw what she was doing.
"MINE! THAT'S MINE! GET OFF!" he screamed. Matilda saw him run back into the kitchen and shuddered when she heard him whine, "My potty! She's on my potty! Get her off!"
Her heart sunk when she realized what she had done. It hadn't been for her at all. Of course a regular training potty wouldn't fit that behemoth. She let out a soft whine of embarrassment as she heard footsteps approaching. She would have curled into a ball if she could have.
"What are you talking about? Where is your potty? I left it over here."
"GET OFF!" The toddler screamed.
"Chuckie, what are you-oh." Cynthia seemed to freeze at the sight of her. "Matilda," she asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "are you going potty or are you just sitting there?" Matilda buried her face in her hands. What kind of question was that? Why else would she be sitting on it?
"Get her off! It's mine!" Chuckie whined.
"Shush, honey. Go play."
"It's mine!" he whined again before bursting into tears.
"I know it is, but Matilda needed to use it. Can you share with her this one time? I can't get her off until she's done." The following shrieks and screams told Matilda that was a "no." It was no wonder Hortensia couldn't stand him. She had to uncover her face in order to plug her ears.
`"Sweetheart, you could have just gone to the restroom by yourself if you needed to go that badly. You didn't need to wait for me."
"Can't get up." Matilda mumbled. "Hurts too much."
"Well you must have gotten up in order to get on this." Matilda shook her head.
"I sat on the edge of the chair and rode the recliner down onto it." She could see Cynthia doing the mental gymnastics to see if that was even possible. She gave Matilda a sort of sympathetic smile.
"I know Eve can come off a bit strong without meaning to. You just didn't want to get in trouble for getting up by yourself. I understand, you can tell me the truth. I won't punish you." Matilda scowled.
"I'm not faking being injured."
"Honey, I'm not saying that at all. I know Eve said you can't get up and use the restroom by yourself, but I'm saying, if you really need to, and I'm not around to help, feel free to just get up and go." It would have been nice, if she could actually get up by herself. "Are you done?"
"No," Matilda moaned. She had been fighting back a second wave ever since they had come in. "Could you go in the other room?" she mumbled. "Please?" She must have sounded desperate enough.
"C'mon, Chuckie, let's give her some space." Cynthia said. She had managed to push him halfway out the room before the toddler let out a primal and enraged sounding scream. Matilda whipped her head around just in time to see him charging at her like an enraged bull. She tried to throw up her hands as a shield, but it did her little to no good. The next thing she knew he had collided with her, knocking her onto the floor. Someone was screaming. White-hot searing pain was all she could comprehend. She had landed on her good side, but he had slammed into the injury. Who was screaming? She had the faintest notion it was her.
"Holy shit! Ma's going to go nuclear." It was Hortensia. She was standing over her taking in the room. "It's all over the carpet."
"Yeah, well, go get the carpet cleaner and a rag and start scrubbing." Cynthia said.
"No way! That's disgusting!"
"Consider it your punishment for swearing."
"No! This is your fault. You weren't restraining your kid. I saw him tackle her!"
"Hey, I never told her to get up and use his potty. I said I was going to take her to the restroom. If she had to go that badly, she should have either used the diaper or just gone to the restroom on her own. She obviously has no problem getting up."
"No, she can't!"
"I put his potty in the hallway like I always do since your mom won't allow it on the carpet. She's the one who got up and dragged it over."
"No, she didn't! She can barely move!"
"That potty didn't just grow legs and walk over. Now will you, for once in your life, do what I tell you?"
"I ain't scrubbing shit out of the carpet because you can't control your spoiled brat."
"What have I told you about swearing? You can either scrub the carpet or scrub a kid. If you don't help out, I'm telling your mom you're misbehaving." Hortensia made a disgusted noise. Between the blur of Matilda's tears she could just make out Hortensia looking down at her, the anger quickly dissolving from her face.
"Put her in the bathtub and i'll do the rest." Hortensia said with a growl. "I can't pick her up without hurting her."
There was a pause. "Really? You will?"
"Because you obviously don't care." Hortensia said under her breath.
"That's not fair, I do care! She's just in shock. She'll calm down on her own in a minute."
"Does this look like shock to you?" Matilda felt her shirt get lifted.
"Oh Jesus." Cynthia said quietly. She felt another figure bend down next to her. "Oh sweetheart, I had no idea."
"Didn't Ma tell you?" Hortensia asked sounding doubtful.
"I mean, she mentioned she had gotten hurt, but I figured it was something minor. Little kids tend to exaggerate, you know?"
"She's not like that. You see how hurt she is, if she actually got up and dragged that thing over, she did it for you, despite how much pain she's in. We told her you don't like germs, so she probably thought it would be easier on you to empty a bucket rather than carry or change her. I can't believe you're over here blaming her for this."
Cynthia let out a pitiful whimper. If Matilda wasn't in so much pain she would have laughed. Way to lay on the guilt.
"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry." She felt Cynthia wave a hand through her hair, but Matilda couldn't stop crying enough to tell her to keep her hands off. "Don't you worry, your big sister Hortensia's going to make it all better." Big sister? Ha! "Shh, shh, it's going to be alright." Matilda felt herself get lifted into the air as if she were a bride getting carried over the threshold. A very stinky and messy bride that was. The moment of impact had caused her watery bowels to empty, and she doubted it had made it into the bucket. A bucket of which had been knocked over onto her, Chuckie, and the carpet.
She could feel herself getting rocked in the air. Matilda fought, scratched, clawed, screamed and lashed out in any way she could, even if it only compounded the pain. This woman had the nerve, no, the audacity, to blame her for this? No wonder Hortensia didn't like her.
"Matilda, please, try and calm down." Cynthia begged. "I know you're in pain, but you're only going to make it worse if you keep moving like that."
Pictures on the walls were beginning to wobble and shake. There was a loud crash as a glass fell off the table and shattered onto the floor. She was losing control again.
Matilda heard Hortensia swear before taking a step back and making a run for it. Fine! Matilda didn't care. Go on and leave! Go on and leave her like everyone else in her life did! Her parents didn't want her, Jenny didn't want her. Why wouldn't Hortensia leave too? She was starting to wonder if she would bring the whole house down on top of them when something was forcefully shoved into her mouth with instructions to bite down.
All at once, everything went still.
"Put her in the bathtub!" Hortensia said. Matilda stared at her. She had come back? Was it her who had forced this object in her mouth? What was it? It felt familiar, but it couldn't be. It was much too large and filled her whole mouth. She couldn't cry or scream. Only silent tears fell from her eyes as she bit down on what felt like rubber.
"Try sucking on it instead, you might feel better." Cynthia whispered. Matilda wanted to do the exact opposite of anything she said out of spite, but curiosity had won out in the end. By the time she had been lowered down in the tub, she was sucking on it for all she was worth. There was no question now on what it was, but she didn't think they made them so big. She didn't want to admit it, but it was a welcome distraction. The more she fiddled with the thing in her mouth, the more down to earth she felt. It was like breathing in a bag. She hurt, yes, oh god she hurt, but she could see through the pain. There was a world on the other side and the more she sucked on the knob in her mouth and counted in groups of twos, three's, four's, and five's, the more in control she felt. And then, all at once, the world seemed to slam into picture perfect focus, and she realized she was stark naked, sitting in a tub covered in her own feces with the closest thing she had to a best friend dumping cups of warm water on her.
"Do you hear that?" Hortensia asked. Matilda listened. She could hear Chuckie wailing in the other room.
"YOU DO NOT SHOVE OTHER PEOPLE TO GET WHAT YOU WANT!" Cynthia yelled. There was a loud hollow thump sound followed by more sobbing.
"I've waited so long to hear that." Hortensia said, before dousing her with another cup of water. "He's a little shit." Matilda pulled what looked like the largest pacifier she had ever seen out of her mouth, and took a few gulps of air before answering.
"I noticed." Matilda said weakly.
"So is she." Hortensia said much more quietly.
Again Matilda said, "I noticed."
"This is taking too long." Hortensia complained. "Knock the shower head down, I can't reach it from out here."
"What makes you think I can? You're taller than m-oh, right." Matilda said, feeling a little embarrassed. It still didn't come naturally to her. She still found herself hopping up on chairs to reach tall places. Then there was the time her stomach was hurting and Hortensia had to get Jenny because she couldn't bend over to pick up the pull-up. She could have just willed it in her hand.
"How do you forget you have powers? I'd never get off the couch. Oh, and the pranks! What you did to Mr. Larson was great and all, but that was small stuff."
"When Miss Honey came to get me from my parents, I convinced them I was possessed. I made all the furniture fly around the room. You should have seen how scared they were."
"So that's how you came to live with her?" Matilda nodded. "If you can make furniture fly around the room, how come you can't get a shower head down?" Hortensia asked skeptically.
Matilda was breathing heavy now, concentrating as hard as she could, but all she could manage was to gently jostle it around in its holder. Matilda broke the contact, too exhausted to keep trying.
"I was angry then, really, really angry."
"Didn't you want to live with Miss Honey?" Hortensia asked, stepping up onto the rim of the bathtub, so she could manually pull down the shower head.
"I did, but it's one thing to think your family doesn't want you, and another to see it's true. I know why Miss Honey talked about me the way she did, but it still stung. The whole conversation, it was never about giving me a better life, it was about how much their lives would be better without me. They traded me for the idea of owning a parking lot. When I saw how easy they were willing to give me up, I just snapped. I doubt they'd take me back. You think your mom would let me live here when Jenny throws me out?"
"What?" Hortensia said dumbfounded. "Miss Honey ain't throwing you out."
"I don't think she wants me anymore." Matilda said, before sputtering on the blast of water sprayed directly into her face. "Hey!"
"I told you! She ain't giving you up."
"How would you know?"
"She always gets this weird sappy look on her face whenever she sees you, like she's looking at a puppy or something. Personally, I don't see the appeal, if you were a puppy you'd probably shit yourself less."
Matilda stared at the shower head in Hortensia's hand and twisted a finger, making it turn in her hand and spray its holder.
"Hey! Hey! Quit it! I'm doing you a favor here! " By the time she released the power in her eyes, Hortensia, and the bathroom, were soaked. There was a knock on the door.
"Everything okay in there? I hear screaming." Cynthia said. Before either of them could respond, the door swung in. "What in the word?" She eyed Hortensia up and down before raising her eyebrows. "What happened to you? Did you fall in?"
"I think I picked the wrong kid." Hortensia said. She wiped her wet hair back with a hand before blowing up at the semi dry strand that refused to stay. "We're done here anyway."
"Not my fault you sprayed yourself with the shower head." Matilda said with a snicker. Hortensia scowled, picked up the pacifier off the edge of the tub and shoved it into Matilda's mouth.
"Thank you," Cynthia said. "It's nice to see you still have a sweet side. I haven't seen this side of you since your little boyfriend ran away." Matilda yanked the pacifier out of her mouth.
"Hortensia had a boyfriend?" Matilda asked with a laugh.
"He was not my boyfriend." Hortensia growled. "And he didn't run away."
"'Tens," Cynthia said, "I thought you would have grown out of that by now. You know the police found evidence of him wanting to run away in his room."
"That doesn't mean he did! I'm telling you, the Trunchbull got him."
"Hortensia, your headmaster was not some monster who went around murdering children. Sure, she was a bit eccentric, but she was just some grouchy old lady who liked to scare disobedient troublemakers."
"Who are you guys talking about?" Matilda asked as she was wrapped in a towel after being set on the bathmat.
"He was a friend of mine when I was younger. I told you about him, here." Hortensia sprinted out of the bathroom leaving Matilda alone with Cynthia.
"The police say he ran away to go live with his dad. His parents were going through a nasty custody battle. Hortensia's never been able to accept it."
"Did he ever turn up at his dads?"
"He says no, but then moved to the States soon after, so it's assumed he was hiding him and smuggled him out of the country somehow. Most missing children cases are the result of one parent taking off with the child to spite the other."
"Oh." Matilda said. It was true. She knew most child abductions were because someone didn't get their way in court and almost 70% of the time, it was the father.
"Here, this is him." Hortensia said pointing to a photo in a yearbook. Matilda snickered at a much younger Hortensia, hair done in pigtails with her arm around a small boy.
"Nice hair." Matilda said with a grin before the teasing smile was wiped from her face as she read the caption.
Hortensia Strickland (L)and Billy Reyes (R) .