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Chapter Five: Meeting Jamie (s) (?)
Dudette's afternoon:
"Let's see…" said Dudette. She had visited Ellen, much to Ellen's surprise, and received an animal notebook and a pet turtle. Dudette named the turtle Lobster. Dudette also met an old man named Terry, and then she spotted a closed house with a sign that said, "Jamies' ranch. Unauthorized personnel are strongly recommended not to enter"
"I wonder who lives here," said Dudette, disregarding the 'Jamies' ranch' part of the sign.
Dudette jumped over the fence and saw three people there.
Dude and Dudette's afternoons collide:
"Hiya, Dudette! Guess what, these people are fraternal twins!" said Dude, who had taken off his doctor's coat.
"Dudette?" said one of the people, ears perking up under the hat.
"I've always wanted to meet twins, Dude!" said Dudette.
"Dude?" said the other, ears perking up from underneath the hat.
"Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Dude," said Dude.
"And I'm Dudette!" said Dudette.
"Heh heh…who named you?" asked one of the people.
"Our parents, who else?" asked Dudette.
"She's thick too," said the other person.
"So what are your names?" asked Dude.
"I'm Jamie," said one of them.
"I'm Jamie," said the other.
"They look identical too! Wearing the same clothes, even having the same names…" said Dudette.
"You just noticed?" asked Dude slowly.
Dudette ignored him. "How are we going to tell which Jamie is which?"
"Humph…I'm a girl," said girl Jamie.
"Humph…I'm a boy," said boy Jamie.
"Um…ACK, MY HEAD!" yelled Dudette.
"What, what is it?" asked Dude.
"I can't tell which is which!" yelled Dudette.
"Oh, it's easy…the girl is…well, hotter than the boy," said Dude.
"THEY LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME!" yelled Dudette.
"Hah, get out of my property," said girl Jamie.
"Hah, get out of my property," said boy Jamie.
"THEY'RE MESSING WITH MY HEAD!" yelled Dudette.
Dude sighed. "I'm sorry, Jamies, but Dudette has always been rather slow."
"Hmph, like I can't tell," said girl Jamie.
"She does seem stupid," said boy Jamie.
"Not that we care, but what's with your names?" asked girl Jamie.
"Are you related?" asked boy Jamie.
"No, we're just friends," said Dudette, calming down enough to say that.
"And our parents have issues," said Dude.
"Hah, so do ours," said boy Jamie.
Girl Jamie gasped. "No, our parents were great people! They had kids like us! Don't you dare say anything like that!"
"Hmph, what kind of parents would name us the same exact thing?" asked boy Jamie.
"Just because new farmers came doesn't mean you have to listen to them! What is wrong with you?" asked girl Jamie.
"Excuse me!" said Dudette, raising her hand.
"Yes? What do you want?" barked boy Jamie.
"Could one of you…please, please take off your hat, or maybe your poncho so we'd know the difference between you two?" asked Dudette.
Dude sighed. "But can't you feel it? I can."
"Feel what?" asked Dudette.
"I can feel which one's which. I dunno, I just…can," said Dude.
"I won't take off my hat," said boy Jamie.
"Fine," said Dudette.
"Psst…" said Dude, whispering in Dudette's ear. "The male Jamie has a slightly deeper voice. Very slight. So slight that you might not notice. Listen to them again."
Dudette nodded.
Girl Jamie coughed. "Jamie, you can't listen to them! Our parents were great people, both of them! Don't listen to idiots!"
"Can't you see that they have the same stupid problem as us? All of us had dumb parents who gave us horrible names!" said boy Jamie.
"Hmph, I guess I can't even trust family anymore," said girl Jamie, turning her back on boy Jamie.
"Hah, likewise," said boy Jamie.
"Leave me alone," said girl Jamie.
"Leave me alone," said boy Jamie.
"Um…" said Dudette.
"Why don't we all go to the Harvest goddess spring and talk this out?" asked Dude.
"How did you know there was a harvest goddess spring?" asked girl Jamie suspiciously.
"I guessed. There's one where I'm from too," said Dude.
Girl Jamie's eyes widened. "There's two? Hah, I don't care. Yours was a fake. You just want attention from us like the deprived person you are. You're insane."
"No you are," said boy Jamie.
"You're right, Dude. They do sound different," said Dudette after a pause.
Boy Jamie jumped up happily. "We aren't exactly alike!"
"Why are you listening to the idiots?" asked girl Jamie.
"Because they just might be smarter than you, stupid!" said boy Jamie.
"You're the stupid one! We have the same intelligence, stupid!" said girl Jamie.
"I said might, stupid!" said boy Jamie.
"Might can still mean that you think I'm dumber than them, stupid!" said girl Jamie.
"You coming to the Harvest goddess spring or not?" asked Dude.
The Jamies grumbled, but followed Dude and Dudette to the spring.
Dude and Dudette's Evenings Collide:
"My word! That's a beautiful statue!" said Dudette. "The same one in my dream!"
"I had a dream too! The harvest goddess turned to stone right?" said Dude.
"Really? All I remember from the dream were the sprites! I thought they were cool…" said Dudette.
"You should've paid attention…" said Dude.
"No you're stupid!" said boy Jamie.
"You're the stupid one!" said girl Jamie.
"I bet you wouldn't even know what the color purple was if it hit you in the face!" said boy Jamie.
"A color can't hit people in the face!" said girl Jamie.
"So? You wouldn't know what it was!" said boy Jamie. "Even if that's your hair color!"
"I'm colorblind, stupid!" said girl Jamie.
"So am I, stupid!" said boy Jamie.
"Stop, stop, Jamies!" said the red sprite.
"Would you stop calling us in a plural form? I hate being associated with that freak!" yelled girl Jamie.
"I didn't even know you know what 'associated' meant!" said boy Jamie.
"I'm not as stupid as you, stupid," said girl Jamie.
"Yeah, right. If you weren't as stupid, then you would know that my name is Jamie, and not stupid," said boy Jamie.
"'Yeah, right' is not a correct grammatical sentence, stupid," said girl Jamie.
"It's a phrase, stupid," said boy Jamie.
"Would you stop, Jamies? All of you have to help free the Harvest Goddess," said the yellow sprite.
"Does that include us?" asked Dudette.
"Yes," said the third sprite.
"Darn," said Dude.
"I refuse to share my house with you any longer!" said boy Jamie.
"It's my house, stupid!" said girl Jamie.
"Our parents gave it to me, stupid!" said boy Jamie.
"You don't deserve anything from our parents! You dissed them!" said girl Jamie.
"Dissed isn't a word, stupid!" said boy Jamie.
"It just shows I'm cooler than you with my slang, stupid!" said girl Jamie.
"That didn't even make sense, stupid!" said boy Jamie.
"SHUT UP!" yelled the red sprite.
The Jamies stopped.
"That's better, yeah," said the yellow sprite.
"I'm going to give you a pedometer, yeah," said the third sprite, handing Dudette a pedometer.
"I don't want it," said Dudette, passing it to Dude like it was a disease.
"Neither do I," said Dude, passing it to boy Jamie.
"This is worthy of an idiot like you," said boy Jamie, passing it to girl Jamie.
"Hah, you three are pathetic," said girl Jamie.
"You did not just put me in the same category as them!" exclaimed boy Jamie.
"I did!" said girl Jamie defiantly.
"That's it! I'm moving somewhere else!" said boy Jamie.
"Good, because I want my house!" said girl Jamie.
"You can have it, stupid! Our pathetic parents left it for us, so I don't want it," said boy Jamie.
Not to be outdone, girl Jamie said, "Stupid," and took a step away from them. Then she got a note for taking her first step with a pedometer.
"Well," said Dude.
"What are you two looking at? Go on, get!" said boy Jamie angrily.
"There's nothing to do here anyway. See ya!" said Dude, leaving.
"Wait, Jamie…" said Dudette, now certain that this was the boy Jamie.
"What do you want? Go on, spit it out!" said boy Jamie.
"There's one plot of land left. The village one," said Dudette.
Boy Jamie nodded. "I don't need your help. Hah, well do your best. I've been here longer than you."
Dudette grinned. "I really feel like I can relate. I never really liked my name, and you have a problem like mine!"
"I said that a long time ago, idiot," said boy Jamie.
Dudette ignored him. "I'll go tell the mayor right now that you're taking the last bit of land! You can go straight there when you're done thinking things over!"
Dudette ran ahead, while boy Jamie shook his head wonderingly. Then he looked back at the Harvest goddess and laughed at her stone form.