32 Productions Presents…
A Teen Titan Fan Fiction The Teen Titans in…"The Amazing Beast Baby"
Chapter Two
Super Market
Rachel hit her head on the handle of her cart. She was in line at the check out. All the lines where incredibly long. The one she picked was no different. She was now next…and the machine seemed to be broken.
Cashier: Price check on…Adult Diapers.
Rachel groaned. This wasn't her day. Finally it was her turn. She put all the products on the conveyer belt.
Cashier: Hey, aren't you Raven?
Rachel: Aren't you supposed to be ringing up my purchases?
The cashier didn't seem to be expecting such a rude response. Rachel crossed her arms and tapped her foot, impatiently.
Rachel: Look, I've got someone dealing with a super-powered infant and I have the supplies that can placate him.
Cashier: …an infant?
Rachel: Don't laugh. He can change into a giant monster at will. …and infants have a very small understanding of right and wrong.
A T-rex wasn't exactly a monster but it was close enough.
Rachel: And now you want to delay me?
He got moving. Rachel allowed herself a feeling of pride. That did the trick.
Titan Tower: Main Room
Raven returned to a giant mess. Stuff was thrown every where and in the middle of it was Shade. Raven nearly dropped the stuff she was carrying.
Raven: What in Azar's name have you done!
Shade: It's not my fault!
He looked inside a small container then tossed it over his shoulder.
Shade: He just started shifting! First he was a bull, then a tiger, and now he's a mouse and I can't find him!
Raven found a bunch of paper towels held together by duct tape. She picked it up.
Raven: What the hell is this?
Shade wrinkled his nose.
Shade: You shouldn't touch that. It's a diaper.
Raven gasped and dropped it, checking her hand to see if anything got on it.
Raven: Why did you…?
Raven pinched the bridge of her nose.
Raven: You know, I don't care anymore.
Raven sighed and handed him the stuff.
Raven: Make yourself useful and unpack this, would you?
Shade winced and took the bags. She was mad at him now. Just great. Raven rubbed her temples and then did the most un-Raven like thing Shade had seen her do while she was still in her right mind. She sank to her knees and called out with convincing (but still false) enthusiasm.
Raven: Come here, Gar! Come to Mama Raven!
A small green mouse crawled out and came toward her. She closed her eyes and touched its forehead. It changed back into the baby Beast Boy.
Raven: Get the diapers and powder. I'll put them on him, since you obviously can't be trusted.
Shade: …I tried my best.
Raven: You put a paper towel on a baby. Do you know how delicate a baby's skin is?
Shade looked downtrodden, but Raven felt no pity. He could have seriously hurt Beast Boy. It was her fault really. She should have known he wasn't ready to handle a baby. Raven picked the baby up, trying to block the fact that she was holding one of her friends naked from her mind. It wasn't him…not really. Raven put the diaper on him with little difficulty.
Shade: How do you know how to do that?
Raven: I'd rather not talk about it.
Suddenly he started to cry. Raven tried to comfort him, but she had little knowledge in that field.
Raven: What could be wrong? I know he didn't just go.
Shade: He's hungry.
Raven: What makes you…YIPE!
Raven's eyes widened and she pulled Beast Boy off of her. Raven handed him to Shade and turned away, rubbing her now sore chest under her cloak.
Raven: He's hungry.
Shade just looked at the baby, confused.
Shade: Um…what do I do with him?
Raven: Feed him.
Shade: …but he has no teeth.
Raven begged to differ, but didn't mention it.
Raven: You feed him his bottle.
Shade took the bottle out and looked at it.
Shade: …I take it I'm supposed to put something IN the bottle?
Raven: And here I was afraid you were stupid. Take the milk from the bag and put it inside the bottle. Cover the bottle with the nipple cap…
Shade: I'm sorry, the what?
Raven: …that's what it's called. I didn't name it. Once you put it on, give it to the baby.
Shade: …you okay?
Raven: …you sure he doesn't have teeth?
Shade: Positive.
Raven sighed and turned back around.
Raven: There you go. You got it. Now I…Shade…what's in that glass?
Shade had a cup up to his mouth. It was filled with a white…milk like fluid. He wouldn't…
Shade: Hey, I've been chasing after this brat all day. I'm thirsty.
Raven: Shade, no! That's only for…!
Shade took a big gulp then gagged.
Raven: …babies.
Shade ran off to vomit. Raven groaned and shook her head.
Raven: Oh yeah. He's a natural born father. Can't wait for parenthood knowing he'll be at the reigns.
She picked up Beast Boy and fed him his bottle.
Shade's Room: Later that night
For the fourth time that night, Shade's eyes shot open. Beast Boy was wailing again. Shade covered his head with the pillow but it was no good. He got up and went to the make-shift crib the two of them had just barely managed to construct before 1 a.m.
Shade: (groggy) Why? Why do you torment me, little green monster?
All he got as a reply was a wail. He picked up the baby and sniffed. Oh yeah. Another diaper change.
Shade: You've got the worst set of bowels I've ever seen.
After he had finished he put the baby back in the crib and went to sleep. …for the fifth time that night, Shade's eyes shot open…
Bathroom: Following Morning
Raven sighed and turn the water off in the shower. She was a little sleepy, having stayed up building that stupid crib with Shade. She cursed herself for not thinking to buy one while she was out. She thought she had remembered everything, but the crib had completely slipped her mind. She suddenly felt eyes on her. Raven peered around the curtain and her eyes widened. She pulled the curtain closer.
Raven: Shade! You know I hate being leered at!
Raven realized that Shade wasn't leering. He barely seemed to be awake. He had Beast Boy in his arms.
Raven: …Shade?
Shade: …tonight…he sleeps in YOUR room.
With that he trudged from the room. Raven got out, dried herself off, got dressed, and went after him. She found him in the main room, putting Beast Boy into the "play pen". It was actually a force field designed to contain Beast Boy no matter what form he took. Raven took a closer look at her boyfriend. His clothes were on wrong. His shirt was inside-out, his pants were backwards (she was impressed that he was able to zip them up as well as buckle them), his shoes were on the wrong feet, and she was willing to bet his socks didn't match. She came up behind him and put her hand on his back.
Raven: You okay?
Shade: He just…wouldn't stop crying…all night.
Raven took off his sunglass and winced. His eyes had dark rings around them. Shade wasn't used to not getting sleep.
Raven: I'll watch him. You get some sleep, okay?
She kissed his cheek and he trudged off. Raven looked at Beast Boy and shook her head.
Raven: Even as a baby, you won't leave him alone, huh?
Beast Boy just giggled.
Raven's Room: That Night
Raven had forgotten something. Beast Boy never left EITHER of them alone. She decided that she liked it better when he was trying to cheer her up. Raven held the baby Titan in her arms, rocking him back and forth.
Raven: (singing weakly) Rock-a-bye baby, shut the hell up. If you don't I'll shake you up. (normal) I just tried to rhyme "up" with "up". (singing) Then you'll be quiet, then, I'll be at peace, until I'm arrested, hopefully, at least.
If Beast Boy was capable of understanding a word she just said (or sang as the case may be) he'd have been terrified. As it was he was sleeping like a…well…baby. Perfect. Raven smirked. She was feeling pretty smug, having done what it took Shade all night to do. She went to sleep after putting the baby back in his crib.
Two Days later
Beast Boy had yet to change back, but Raven and Shade were starting to get used to it. It had been uncommonly quiet. They guessed that somehow Blood had gotten quite a few new members for his team. They hoped the others were alright, wherever they were. It was about noon, Shade was feeding Beast Boy as Raven read her book. Suddenly the intruder alarm went off. Unauthorized people had landed on the island. The door exploded and Slade-bots rushed in.
Raven: Oh no…
Shade slid in front of Raven.
Shade: Get Beast Boy somewhere safe. I got this.
Raven nodded. Slade-bots were nothing any one of them couldn't handle. Even if there was an army of them, Shade could manage until she hid Beast Boy somewhere. She picked him up and ran. Shade tore into the Slade-bots with ease. They weren't even well armed. It was a joke. Almost as if… Shade's thoughts were interrupted by Cinderblock bursting into the room, trashing several robots and slamming his massive fist into Shade. Shade flew back into the wall, landing hard.
Ravager: Well, well…Master was right. One of you DID stay behind.
Ravager squeezed past Cinderblock and looked around. She had never seen the inside of Titans tower after all.
Ravager: This is it? I expect something more…high-tech. Oh well. Pick him up and let's take him back to our little make-shift hotel.
Raven reappeared sometime later, but it was too late. The room was empty, save for Shade discarded communicator.
Raven: Shade!
The screen turned on, Nightwing's face appearing.
Nightwing: Raven, we just got an intruder alert for the base. What's going on?
Raven: …Slade-bots. They came and…Shade's gone. I was taking Beast Boy somewhere safe. When I got back…
Nightwing: Slade…damn it.
Raven: You have to come back.
Nightwing: Uh…we're kind of in the middle of something.
Raven: But…!
A laser blast went by.
Nightwing: Shit! Gotta go!
Raven: Nightwing, wa…
The transmission went dead.
Raven: …it. …shit. Looks like it's up to me.
Beast Boy: Up to us.
Raven turned and saw Beast Boy standing there. She stared, her mouth wide open.
Beast Boy: Yeah, I'm finally back to normal.
Raven: …and still in a diaper.
Beast Boy looked at himself. He was wearing a TEENY TINY diaper. He blushed.
Beast Boy: A-whoops.
Raven: Get dressed. I'll find Shade.
Factory
Shade came to in the darkness. His eyes saw clearly in the dark. He was bound on some sort of conveyer belt. He couldn't tell what it was attached to. Probably something that would cause pain.
Ravager: You're awake. I know you can't use your powers here. Too dark.
Shade: What do you want? And where's your boss?
Ravager: Master isn't…quite aware of you being here.
Shade: Oh, I see. The old bad guy double cross bit, eh?
Ravager: Not at all. More like…practice.
Shade: And why am I here?
Ravager sighed.
Ravager: Honestly, I was hoping to get someone else.
Shade: What's wrong with me?
Ravager: Well, catching you isn't very impressive.
Shade frowned, though he doubted she could see it.
Shade: What's that supposed to mean?
Ravager sighed and shook her head.
Ravager: You're impulsive, impatient, easy to enrage, and your powers are easily negated in the right environment.
Shade muttered to himself for a moment before letting the subject drop.
Shade: Still doesn't answer why I'm here.
Ravager: Like I said, I had hoped to get someone else. Master knows I'm out doing a job on my own, but he doesn't know the details. I had hoped to bring Nightwing back as a sort of…present. Maybe Starfire in order to lure Nightwing. Raven's history with my Master would have made her an interesting catch, as would Terra. Beast Boy would have Terra's history to go on…I honestly don't know what I'd do with you. You're connection with Raven is…useful, I'm sure, but I don't see how.
Ravager paused for a moment, as if listening to something. She smiled and nodded.
Ravager: Do you remember my mother?
Shade: Crazy lady with the grim reaper costume. Yeah, I remember.
Ravager clenched her teeth in rage.
Ravager: Don't you dare disrespect my mother that way!
Shade: Did you even know your mother?
Ravager: I don't HAVE to!
At the word "have", she stabbed him in his shoulder with her sword. He hissed, but didn't cry out.
Ravager: She's my mother no matter what.
Shade: Blind devotion. I'm no stranger to that.
Ravager: So I've noticed. Hmm…yes…yes, that's it.
There was something about her voice that sent chills down Shade's spine. The sinister smile was a bit unsettling too. Shade managed to keep his voice from wavering.
Shade: What's "it"?
Ravager: Master would simply LOVE the idea of making Raven suffer. And as he always says, "Sometimes, Ravager, the most painful wounds are the ones you can't see."
Shade stared at her blankly.
Shade: Did you just explain something?
Ravager: Perhaps a demonstration is in order.
Ravager pulled out a tazer and squeezed the trigger, causing the electricity to crackle.
Shade: Oh… I think I see where this is going now.
Ravager jammed the tazer onto his chest, grinning wildly. This time Shade couldn't help but scream.
END PART TWO