Chapter 4

Wyatt's P.O.V.

God, what have I done? I look at myself in the mirror and see a monster staring back at me. I look down at my hands, and see the blood of innocents staining them.

Of course, I might draw consolation from the fact that I haven't technically done anything yet- but it still doesn't change the fact I might- it doesn't change the fact that I actually have a monster lying dormant inside of me, simply waiting to claw itself out.

And my angelic brothers- one of them didn't even exist, and the other? The pain that his eyes held- it will haunt me till my dying day, and perhaps even beyond that.

Oh God, Chris- I'm so, so sorry- for every single thing that I've done- for every single thing that I've put you through.

Oh, the irony of it all- I'm supposed to be the big brother, the one who's supposed to do the protecting and yet, Chris was the one who ended up saving me- dying for me.

And the way he said sorry, sorry to me, of all the people he could've said it to. I should be saying that to him, even though it's ridiculously inadequate, even though a simple sorry doesn't really cut what I did, or may do.

That's Chris all over though. No matter what happens, no matter how blameless he is- somehow, in his weird, twisted reasoning it always turns out to be his fault.

Oh, Chris I'm not worthy of you, I'm not worthy of any of my family- least of all of you.

As I sit here, contemplating, repenting- I can only think- perhaps Gideon was right? That I shouldn't exist at all?

Oh, God, help me…

Chris' P.O.V.

SHIT! Why can't I do anything right? It seems, whatever I do is bound to get screwed up by default.

Damn, I should've anticipated this, and cast a spell to deal with it. Searching through the Book of Shadows, I've found the perfect spell for it- but of course, it hadn't been there when Darmuid had checked- apparently, the Book has a mind of its own. Big surprise there!

And now, Darmuid has seen what no one should have to see- least of all a 16 year old, and Wy? I've hurt him irreparably.

The one thing that I feared above all others, it just happened. And knowing Wy the way I do- I know he's sitting somewhere, alone, blaming himself.

When will you learn, when you will you realize? My brothers are the most precious things that I have in my life- I could never hate you, Wy, not even if my life depended on it, not even if I wanted to.

Even when you were at the height of your evil- you loved me. Perhaps you didn't show it openly, perhaps you had a funny way of showing it even- but you still loved me.

The fact that I stayed alive for as long as I did is proof of that. In some weird, twisted way- you were only trying to protect me.

Yes, admittedly, you'd hurt me, physically and emotionally, I'll admit to that much. But you never mortally wounded me, Wy- you may have threatened me with death, but you never carried out the threat.

You were never willing to walk that extra mile to finish me off- even though I know, if you were; it'd've been only too easy.

Why do you think I came back to the past to try and save you and not stop you?

It's because I knew with all my heart and soul you are good, Wy, that you are meant to be such.

And looking at what you are now- wasn't I right?

Wy, you're the most wonderful person that I have, or will ever meet, and I'm so sorry for making you feel that you weren't. So, so, sorry…

Earlier that evening…

Warm water flowed over Darmuid's body as he stood beneath the shower, and the 16 year old witch willed the water to drown all his troubles to oblivion. No such luck.

Sighing, he stepped out of the shower, dried himself off, and going to his adjoining room, began to dress himself.

He was about to put on his shirt when orbs filled his room right behind him. Darmuid jumped about a foot in the air, and instinctively exploded the tinkling, glowing mass of orbs, which separated as the witch's power hit it, and materialized to reveal a crumpled Chris lying on the floor.

The witch-elder looked up at his brother and gave him a pissed off look, and said, "My, someone's jumpy today!"

A very mortified Darmuid rushed to Chris, and helped him up, muttering innumerable 'sorry-s' as he did so.

Looking at his baby brother, Chris decided to cut the teenager some slack. Smiling good naturedly, he said, "No biggie, bro. I startled you, which is something I should know better than doing by now. So, you nervous?"

Darmuid looked at Chris, his eyebrows arched. "Chris, you get nervous when you break your mom's favorite vase, and you have to tell her. You get nervous when you're caught having sex with your girlfriend by your mom.

However, I might inadvertently scar my brother irreparably for life. I'm not nervous, Chris- I'm terrified!"

The 23 year old sighed. "Yeah, I know what you mean. It's just that; he doesn't deserve this- he shouldn't have to know this at all."

"I know, Chris, I know. And if all goes well, he won't know." Darmuid told his brother quietly. Then as an afterthought he added, "What about you, though? How are you holding up?"

Chris was surprised at the question. "Me? What'd be wrong with me?"

Darmuid rolled his eyes. Typical Chris, he thought. "Chris, you've gotten all the memories of that timeline. I just got a premonition- and even then it was terrible. You have the actual memories.

You're worried about how Wyatt might take all this, and so am I. But I'm also worried about how you're taking all this."

Darmuid watched exasperatedly as his brother's face became a blank mask, and he said curtly, "I'm fine, Darmuid." And then vanished in a swirl of blue orbs.

Darmuid looked up at the ceiling and addressed his brother with a tinge of irritation. "This is really not a healthy way to deal with pain, you know!"

However, Darmuid had no more time to be mad (and worried) about Chris, as someone came stomping towards his room, and threw opened the door- it was Wyatt, who was currently in Los Angeles studying for his medical degree, and had come home for his brothers' birthday(s).

Darmuid suddenly found himself enveloped by Wyatt's muscular arms, as his older brother squashed him into a bear hug.

"I'm so glad to see you, lil' bro!" He exclaimed with genuine happiness.

Painfully remembering what Wyatt could have been, Darmuid hugged him back and whispered, "So am I, Wy, so am I." Please don't change, he added silently.

Wyatt ruffled his baby brother's hair affectionately, and orbed a beautifully wrapped package into his hands.

"What's in it?" Darmuid asked. Wyatt grinned and said, "See for yourself."

His mind racing as to what the present might be, he ripped open the package to reveal a handsome book bound in red leather- Advanced Spell Crafting, the title read.

"Do you like it?" Wyatt asked tentatively. He knew that Darmuid was a genius when it came to spell crafting, and his knowledge was constantly increasing. So he didn't know if the book would turn out to be redundant or not.

"Like it!" Darmuid told his brother enthusiastically, "I love it! I've wanted to buy this for like ages! Thank you so much, Wy!"

Looking pleased at having made his brother so happy, he was gone in a swirling mass of bluish white orbs after a quick, "No problem, bro!"- Presumably to wish Chris.

Darmuid sighed with relief as Wyatt's form vanished. So far so good.

Wyatt's genuine love felt like a 1000 ton weight on his shoulders. The full realization of exactly how much pain he could cause Wyatt set in; and a dread lodged in his chest- like a life essence eating away at his soul.

Taking a deep breath, he opened his door and went out to the hallway to greet the rest of his family- aunts, uncles, cousins, et all.

And it was great. Everything went flawlessly. They hadn't told Phoebe, Paige or any of their respective families- mostly because of Chris' vehement arguments in favor of it.

It was only when everyone else had gone home and the regular inhabitants of the Manor were about to turn in for the night when the lightening struck.

Wyatt reached over to hug Chris good night, who reluctantly (though he didn't show it) hugged him back. It seemed to go fine, and they were just about to separate when Wyatt's entire body tensed up, and he gasped in surprise.

Chris let go instantly (he had seen this reaction about a million times, and he recognized it all too well) hoping fervently that breaking contact would end the vision. It didn't.

Torrents of sweat broke out on Wyatt's forehead, and soon he was drenched in perspiration. His eyes squeezed shut, with a pallor that would put even a vampire to shame; he slid down to the floor, and curled up into a ball, hugging his knees to his chest, and was seemingly lost in oblivion.

Darmuid, Leo and Piper, who were in the kitchen, came out to the hallway. Seeing Wyatt in the way that he was, Darmuid knew at once that his worst fear had, in reality, come to pass.

As neither Darmuid nor Chris trusted themselves to touch their brother, for fear of giving him more visions, with difficulty, held back.

Piper had no such inhibitions, and ran to her son, and gently touched his back in attempt to rouse him from the stupor.

Wyatt whimpered as if in pain, and said in a voice that broke Piper's heart, "Don't." And before anyone could do anything, orbed away. "I'm sorry." Chris said softly, addressing Wyatt.

Yes, I know, I have a thing about cliff hangers. Lol. Anyways, please review! And many thanks to anyone who has so far- the reviews I got for this story really made my day! Thank you!