So the site finally lets me sign in again! A few words of explanation--I am horribly, horribly blocked when it comes to writing. I have one thousand miserable, boring, stinking words of a new chapter for TUTBMP, but I'm stuck. So I was talking to the lovely Evablue (she rocks my socks--check out her stories) and she joked about writing a fic where Sean is bitten by a bat. Do the math. The best way to break writer's block? Utterly demolish it.

Sean set out the next night with little idea of what he was doing. He considered his options and then decided it was best to visit the house of a certain Christian named Linus. He'd never been fond of the guy, so why not? It wasn't like he had any better ideas.

He checked the phone book and finally managed to locate Linus' address. He contemplated taking a taxi, but walking would keep him in shape, wouldn't it? And certainly he wasn't willing to compromise his body for the sake of convenience.

He realised later that he couldn't have picked a worse target--but apparently the myths about crosses and turning to dust were all false anyway, so it didn't really matter. Still, it was the first in a long line of potentially career-threatening mistakes. But whatever.

His first challenge was to actually get inside the house. He carefully observed it for a moment, then noticed the ever-so-convenient trellis running up alongside a bedroom window.

"Hmm," he said. "I think that might work." Then he realised he was talking to himself and he promptly shut his mouth. Getting locked up in a psych ward probably wouldn't be particularly conducive to his plans.

He tried to shove his foot into one of the spaces in the lattice, but his sneaker was too fat. He sighed and kicked his shoes off. This wasn't going very well.

With his feet now in socks only, he managed to take three steps up the trellis. Just as he remembered that he was deathly afraid of heights, he went crashing to the ground. Half-rotten wood has a hard time supporting 200 pounds of muscle.

"God!" he screamed. This was getting more than a little bit frustrating. Unfortunately, God declined to answer.

He soon discovered that not only was he left without a way into the house, but he also had a chunk of wood stuck to his foot. He swore a few times, then re-considered his plan of attack. Of course! He could ring the doorbell!

So he did. Three times.

He was rather impatient by the time Linus answered--sporting boxers and a pair of fluffy slippers. "What do you want?" he whined. "It's almost ten o'clock. I was asleep."

"I vahnt to suck your blood!"

Linus could only laugh. But at least it made him substantially less cranky--for about two seconds. "No, seriously, what do you want?"

Sean was hurt. Why was Linus insisting upon being mean? He supposed it didn't matter, but damnit, he had feelings too. His jaw quivered and his eyes filled with tears. Ever since he'd been bitten, his emotions had been running wild.

But it had its uses. Linus sighed and opened the door, leaving just enough space for Sean to squeeze through. "Come in," he said reluctantly.

Sean needed no further invitation. He stepped inside, offering a polite nod as he entered.

"Now, what can I do for you?" Linus asked, stiffling a yawn.

"Well, um, I seem to have gotten part of your trellis stuck on my foot," Sean said. "I, uh... I'm not quite sure how it happened."

Linus raised an eyebrow. "Okay, then."

"So are you going to do something about it, or are you just going to stand there and stare?"

"Uh, sure," Linus managed. Sean nodded in self-satisfaction as Linus headed off toward who-knows-where to find some bandages, presumably.

He returned a moment later, a bottle of anti-septic in his hand.

"Oh no way!" Sean protested. But Linus set about caring for the scrapes and scratches anyway, after carefully extracting Sean's foot from amongst the splintered wood.

Linus was kneeling in front of him, and Sean no longer had any impulse control. "You have a really nice neck," he commented.

Linus looked up at him, his eyes wide. "Are you--are you hitting on me? Back demon! I don't bat for the other team!"

"What? No!" Sean protested. "I wasn't! I'm not gay, I'm a vampire!"

"Oh thank god." His eyes widened even more. "NO! I just took the Lord's name in vain! Oh my god!" And with that, he spontaneously combusted.

"Damn," Sean said. "There goes dinner."