Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto, Inuyasha, One Piece, Gundam Seed, etc., or any of the characters. I wish.
WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS STORY IF YOU ARE 12 OR UNDER, OR YOU WILL BE OVERFLOWED WITH DISTURBING CONTENT, STRONG LANGUAGE, AND MORE DISTURBING AND GAY MATTER.
Starting on Chapter Two, anyway. So...
CHOOSE CAREFULLY IF YOU REALLY WANT TO READ.
CAREFULLY.
CAREFULLY.
Here's chapter one:
CHAPPIE 1:
THE GAY INTRODUCTION OF THE INTRODUCTION
Tsunade: Once upon a time… the end.
Sakura: What kind of story was that?
Naruto: There's no ramen!
Shikamaru: You are so troublesome!
Ino: Stop saying everything is troublesome! -Punches Shikamaru-
Shikamaru: Ow….. You are so troublesome.
Chouji: Munch munch
Kankuro: AHHHH! Why am I wearing teddy bear pajamas instead of my nice, comfy bunny ones?
Shino: ….
Lee: THOSE ARE YOUR YOUTHFUL CLOTHES!
Shino: ….
Lee: AND I'M WEARING MY OWN FLAMING YOUTHFUL GREEN JUMPSUIT OF YOUTH!
Everybody: -Sweatdroppes-
Akamaru: Arf.
Kiba: Yup, everyone's weird today.
Temari: You're not the one to talk.
Gai: OH LEE! THAT IS THE MOST FLAMING YOUTHFUL GREEN JUMPSUIT I'VE EVER SEEN!
Lee: GAI-SENSEI!
Gai: LEE!…
Tenten: Oh-no…
Kakashi: Hey! Have I missed anything?
MEANWHILE…
Itachi: Try this on, Sasuke-chan! -Holds up pink glittery poofy skirt-
Sasuke: …WTF...
Itachi: Aww, but it's so cute!Why won'tyou like it? Or perhaps you want a white, puffy dress?
Sasuke: GET ME AWAY FROM THIS MANIAC!
Deidara: I want the dress! -Pouting- Give it!
Sasori: Twitch…that is so gay.
MEANWHILE (AGAIN)...
Inuyasha: Hey, how come I was never mentioned on the first page?
Naruto: Whatever…
IN THE LAND OF DEAD...
Zabuza: Cheers!
Bankotsu: -Glug glug glug-
Jakotsu: -Burps- Oops, excuse me! -Giggles hysterically for no reason-
Haku & Renkotsu: ….
Gatou: I need a person to kill...to kill...to KILL...TO KEEL...BWAHAHAHA I NEED SOMEONE TO KILL
Kikyou: Youwere dead?
Gatou: How dare you, Kikyou!
James P.: We're all dead.
Flay: Is there anybody that can protect me…?
Steller: Why don't you protect yourself?
Rey: ….
Kohaku: Hey, does anyone want to see my dinosaur undies?
Gold Rogers: Are there ANY treasures at all in this place? God!
Gaito: Hmm….
Sara: I wonder what our living friends are doing…
Shippou: WTF! WHAT AM I DOING HERE!
Hiten: I MURDERED YOU! MWAHAHAHAHA!
Kikyou: Crazy people…
BACK TO THE LIVING...
Tsukasa: Why am I here…?
Evil Narrator: Because we added you! MUHAHAHA!
Luffy: Want some meat?
Naruto: Want some ramen… wait, NO!
-BEEP Hinata has been added to the conversation-
Luchia & Mermaids: Let's sing! Pichi pichi pitch! -Starts singing-
Lee: WAIT, I'LL SING WITH YOU! MY YOUTHFUL VOCAL CHORDS WILL LEAVE YOU TEARY FOREVER!
Mermaids: -Stops singing- NOOOOOO!
Neji: Everyone run to the nearest exit!
Tenten: It's the Song of Destruction!
Deidara: I'll sing with you!
Itachi: You're a disgrace of the Atakuch… thirgy… group… urg… Whatever!
Lee: -takes deep breath- I LIKE GREEEEEEEN! I LYKE GREEEEEEEEEEEN! LYKE, GREEN IS THE BEST COLOR EVA, LYKE, TOTALLY! EVERYBODY LIKES OTHER COLOURS, BUT NOT MEEE!
Kisame: Well, that DID leave us teary. MY EARS! AHHH! IT BURNS!
Everybody: -Faints-
BACK TO THE DEAD...
Flay: Hey! Why are we dead?
Obito: DAMN! AFTER I GAVE KAKASHI MY RIGHT EYE, I CAN'T SEE!
Naruto: You gave Kakashi-sensei your eye?
Rin: Yes he did… but why are you here? Dead?
Naruto: I dunno, I just ate a bowl of ramen and woke up here.
Sasuke: Probably date expired. Dobe.
Naruto: And why are YOU here, Sasuke?
Sasuke: Itachi accidentally added poison to my birthday cake. I'm glad really.
Itachi: Oh, Sasuke-chaaaaaan---! Where are you?
Sasuke: Eep! -Runs away-
-ENTER NEJI-
Neji: Wow. You're all here too?
Naruto: Why are YOU here? WHY IS EVERONE HERE!
Neji: I got killed by Lee's horrible singing…
Naruto: Oh yeah. That.
Lee: YOSH! HERE I AM! WITH MY SPRINGTIME YOUTHFUL FLAMING YOUTHED VOICE! AND FLAMING GAI-SENSEI IS HERE TOO, HAI!
Neji: Oh, no. Oh, no no NO!
Naruto: RUN FOR IT!
Neji & Naruto: -Running as fast as they can-
Neji: Why did THEY die?
Naruto: I bet Tenten killed him for revenge; Sakura killed them so I can never rest peacefully.
Lee & Gai: HERE WE ARE! -Takes really deep breaths- OHHHHHHHHH-----GREEN IS THE BEST!
-ARROWS SHOOTING PAST-
Kikyou: If you don't want to get hit, SHUT UP!
Lee: GREEEEEEEEEEEEEE----
-Shoom-
-Hit-
-Thud-
Neji: Well, I guess he didn't hear.
Naruto: All the better for us, though.
Gai: NOOOOO! -Weeps- LEE! NOO! WHY DID YOU GET HIT BY A GIANT POINTY STICK? -Hugs Lee's body -I WILL NOW PROCEED TO REVIVE YOU WITH MY YOUTHFUL SINGING! -Takes another deep breath- GREEEEEE--
-Same thing that happened above with Lee-
Kikyou: Well, NOW we can rest in peace.
Neji & Naruto: -Stares-
Neji: Well, you wouldn't want to get her mad…
Kikyou: What did you say? -Glares-
Neji: Um, no-nothing! Ah ha ha ha… -Giant sweatdrop appears-
Flay: Oh-You could protect me-
Naruto: You're cuter than Sakura! Would you go out with me? -Makes giant puppy eyes-
Flay: …. -Punches Naruto in the gut-
Naruto: -Falls backwards, writhing in pain-
Sora: My, my! Who's this pretty girl? -Points to Flay-
Flay: …um, I'm just going to pretend that I'm not here.
Sora: But don't you need protection?
Flay: Of course I do! Are you strong?
Sora: OF COURSE! Would you go out with me?
Miroku: Would you bear my child?
S L A P
Neji: Well, that should have been educational.
Flay: You want to be next…? -Evil grin-
Naruto & Neji: -Shrinks down to ant size and scurries away-
Ron: Bloody Hell!
Sora: Watch your mouth!
Ron: Why? It's bloody and it's hell.
Harry: I'm here too! Yay!
Kagome: Where's Inuyasha! -Scowls- And damn that Sakura!
Naruto: I killed him.
Kagome: WHAT DID YOU SAY!
Sasuke: KYAAAAAAA--- -Screaming like a girl as he runs past faster than Lee with his weights on-
Itachi: WAIT, SASUKE-CHAAAN!
Sasuke: -Hides behind Kagome- Save me!
Kagome: ….
Itachi: -Stops- -Stares at Kagome- Why, hello there!
Hinata: N-Naruto-k-kun!
Naruto: Hinata! Why are you here? How did you die?
Hinata: -Turns beet red- W-well, I w-wanted to see y-you.
Naruto: Well, thanks. -Grins-
Neji: -Grinds teeth-
Hinata: -Faints-
Inuyasha: KAGOME! I'm here to save you from this mob!
Kagome: Yay! -Sparkle hears glitter huggles-
Akamaru: Arf!
Kiba: -What are you?- Points at Inuyasha
Inuyasha: I'm a--
Sasuke: EEK! SAVE MEEEE! -Runs away screaming like a girl once again-
Itachi: -Sulking- I guess he didn't like the purple glittery heart butterfly poufy princess dress I picked out for him.
Shino: ….
Naruto: Wow! Everyone's dead! Shino, did you bring any ramen with you?
Shino: ….
Kiba: You're dead, and you want ramen?
Naruto: Hell yeah!
Sora: Flay, you still haven't answered my question!
Flay: …What WAS the question?
Sora: Would you go out with me?
P U N C H
Kiba: Ouch.
Inuyasha: -Winces- That GOTTA hurt.
Shino: ….
Flay: AHHHHHH----Shrieks-BUGS! EWWWWW! GET AWAY FROM ME, BUG BOY!
Shino: ….
Zabuza: Well well well…. Look who's here!
Naruto: A well? Where?
Everyone: -Anime falls-
Naruto: WHERE THE HELL'S THE WELL! (A/N: WHOO! THAT RHYMED! WEEEEEEE--...well, sorta. Yeah.)
Zabuza: …I didn't mean that.
Naruto: Oh.
Haku: -Blows on nails- Idiot.
Naruto: WHAT!
Gaara: Can I borrow your nail polish? I'm getting sick of eyeliner.
Temari: What did you say….? -Evil face-
Naruto: Where's Kankurou?
Gaara: Alive.
Neji: Wouldn't he try to kill himself or something?
Temari: Nah. He doesn't even know we're dead. He's listing all his -Shudders- pajamas.
Kankurou: I lost my pink and green dinosaur pajamas!
Gaara: Kankurou! Why are you here?
Kankurou: I died of sadness after I lost my pajamas.
Shino & Harry: ….
Naruto: -To Flay- Did you know that your name means "to strip off the skin or outer covering of"? (A/N:God, Naruto's a hentai. XD)
Kiba: You know, that's the smartest thing you ever said.
Sakura: -Punches Naruto- Pervert!
Naruto: You're dead too?
Sakura: Well, duh.
Sasuke: -Running past- EEP-----!
Itachi: -Still sulking- I don't think he likes me.
Sakura: -Points at Itachi- Aren't you a bad guy? Why are you chasing Sasuke? Are you…GAY?
Itachi: MAAAAY-BEEE!
Everyone: -Runs away from Itachi screaming their heads off-
Itachi: -Laughes- Of course not! I just like Sasuke-chan for some unknown reason! -Sucks on thumb-
Sasori: Itachi, that is so gay.
Sasuke: -Peeks out from behind Flay- Tell me about it.
Flay: KYAA! When where YOU back there? -Slaps Sasuke-
Shippou: I believe Sango found her slapping partner.
Flay: -Turns purple- Will you get out of here, you--
Sanji: Ah, my beautiful fleur, will you go out with me? -Holds Flay's hand-
C R A C K
Sanji: -Thud-
Inuyasha: He deserved it, the bastard--
S L A M! -Background noise: SIT!-
Kagome: THAT'S better.
Itachi: -To Kagome- How'd you do that?
Kagome: MAGIC!
Hermione: Hey, I can do magic too! -Whips out wand- W-- L--- -Floating charm- (A/N: Forgot the spell thing. It doesn't matter, does it?)
Sakura: And WHY are YOU here!$(&$#!
Shikamaru: Women are SO troublesome…
Ino: -Makes evil face- WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Everyone: -Sweatdrops-
Naruto: WHY IS EVERYONE DYING!
BACK TO THE LIVING:
Tsunade: GO TO HELL! -Punches/kills Jiraiya-
BACK TO THE DEAD:
Sakura: -Looks through crystal ball- Well, that's how we all died.
Kakashi: -Giggling behind his perverted book-
Naruto: Which chapter are you on, Kakashi-sensei?
Kakashi: Chapter 13. Oh, this is good!
Sakura: Naruto, you read it too?
Neji: Seems like it.
Luffy: I'm hungry.
Everybody: ….
Zoro: -Snores-
Chouji: -Munch munch-
Sasuke: …what are you eating?
Chouji: -Munch- Chips - I'm OUT! I'LL FADE AWAY! NOOOOOO!
Shikamaru: Don't worry, I've got-- uh-oh, I ran out too…
Chouji: NOO! Must… resist… temptation…for human flesh…!
Shikamaru: RUN FOR IT!
Hinata: KYAAAAAA!
Chopper: Usopp, now you can tell a story of the flesh-eating monster in Hell!
Kaito: I want to surf!
Sasuke: I want to barf!
Akamaru: Arf!
Kiba: Akamaru wants to bark!
Everyone: WE KNOW THAT!
Itachi: -Gets leg bitten off by Chouji- AHHH!
Sasuke: Yeah! He can't chase me anymore! Go Chouji!
Naruto: I want ramen!
P O O F
Kakashi: Hey! Did I miss anything? I just went to the bathroom.
Luffy: I want meat!
Zoro: I want sleep!
Shikamaru: God, you people are so troublesome!
Luffy: Do you have a problem?
Chouji: I want Shikamaru's head!
Shikamaru: NO! Do I look like an apple to you?
Luffy: No, but you look like a pineapple.
Chouji: Mine!
Shikamaru: EEK!
Ino: That's what you get for saying everything's troublesome!
Chouji: -Whirls around to face Ino and drools- I want your neck!
Ino: -Backs up while sweatdropping -Now,now, Chouji… don't get all weird!
Itachi: -Limping- Sasuke-chan! Do you want some blueberry muffins? I made them myself!
Sasuke: ….how did you make them? There's no oven, muffin sheets, no pan, no nothing! HOW?
Itachi: I made them with my love!
Everyone: -Sweatdropps-
Sasori: Itachi, that is so gay.
Chouji: Can I have one?
Itachi: NO! THEY'RE FOR SASUKE-CHAN!
Sasuke: N-no thanks. Chouji can have them. -Gets ready to run-
Itachi: -Pouts- Don't you even want one?
Sasuke: Gotta go! -Runs away-
Naruto: Wow. I think he really needed to go to the bathroom.
Itachi: Really? I'll go with him! -Chases after Sasuke-
Everyone: -Anime falls-
Chouji: Mmm, these muffins are good!
Kakashi: NOO! Why didIcha IchaParadise Volume No. 15 end so soon? -Sulks- Naruto, did you bring the next one?
Sakura: Naruto… -Evil face- You readIcha IchaParadise too? -Gets ready to punch someone-
Naruto: -Puts on innocent face- Of course I do! I'm the one who recommended them to Kakashi-sensei and Miroku-san!
Kiba: Bye!
Sakura & Sango: -Double direct hit-
Naruto: -Throws up breakfast- Why me?
Sakura & Sango: Because! -Naruto can be seen flying in the sky-
Miroku: -Grabs Sakura's butt- Would you bear my child?
Sakura: -Blushes- N-no!
Everyone: O.O
Sango: .
Sanji: NO! SHE'S MINE!
Sakura: NO! I'M SASUKE-KUN'S!
Sasuke: What?
Itachi: NO! SASUKE-CHAN'S MINE!
Everyone: x.X
Sasori: Itachi, you ARE gay.
Kohaku: What the heck?
Kikyou: -Sighs- No, Kohaku, we don't want to see your dinosaur underwear. PLEASE.
Kanna: Hell has been invaded by perverts, homosexuals, and weirdoes….
Kagura: Wow, Kanna! It's the first time you said that much in one sentence! -Gets all bug-eyed-
Kiba: …Why do I have a feeling that Kanna and Shino are alike?
Kanna: ….
Shino: ….
Kiba: Yup, I was right.
Kagome: Awww! They're bonding!
Kanna & Shino: -Shoots evil glares at Kagome except you can't see much from their expressionless/covered faces-
Kagome: Awwwww! A cute couple!
Kanna: -Holds up mirror- I will devour your soul….
Shino: My destruction bugs will kill you….
Kagome: SO KAWAII! -Squeals-
Kiba: Bye!
-Kagome's soul was sucked in by Kanna's mirror, and her body was destroyed by Shino's bugs-
Everyone: o.O;
Neji: …amazing.
Inuyasha: KAGOME!
Kagome: -No reply-
Inuyasha: Wah! -Cries and runs in circles- Mommy!
Sasori: That is SO gay, in SO many ways.
Ino: Wrong, in SO many levels.
Shikamaru: I will now forever be scared.
Inuyasha: -Sniff sniff- WAH! -Runs in squares now-
Kiba: That is one weird dog.
Akamaru: Arf.
Sesshomaru: Now that annoying mutt has gone crazy, I can concentrate on my beautifully designed clothing and makeup from Beverly hills. Ta-ta! -Floats away on giant fluffy pelt-
Sasori: Is there anyone here that isn't GAY?
Inuyasha: Wah! Boo-hoo! I want my da-da!
Everyone: -Sweatdroppes- Wow.
Inuyasha: -Sucks thumb-
Shippou: Is that Inuyasha?
Sasori: No, he's the gay lord.
Kikyou: …is there such person?
Jakotsu: That's meee! -Hic-
Everyone: Sweatdroppes again What the….
Jakotsu: You have something -Hic- against that -Hic- huh?
Bankotsu: -Hic- Yup! -Hic- I'M the gay -Hic- lord!
Sasori: Is it just me, or are they all gay?
Hinata: W-why are we t-talking about gay peop-ple?
Sasori: Because we want to?
Shino: ….
Kikyou: Why would you want to talk about that?
Inuyasha: -Sucking thumb while curled up in a ball-
Everyone: -Sweatdroppes- (A/N: Wow, everyone sure sweatdropps a lot here. BUT WHAT THE HELL!)
Sakura: Can't we go somewhere else?
Sasuke: Yup, I'll go… in that far corner.
Itachi: I'll go with you!
Sasuke: NO!
Itachi: -Sulk sulk- Are you sure?
Sasuke: YES! GET OUT OF MY WAY!
Itachi: -Sob- WAHHH! -Sucks thumb in corner with Inuyasha-
Naruto: O…kay…
Sakura: Why were you here anyways?
Naruto: Look more to the beginning. You weren't here then, so look.
Sakura: What the…!
Naruto: Besides; the future hokage can't be defeated by anyone! Ha ha ha ha ha!
P U N C H
Naruto: Oww…
Sakura: NOW he's defeated.
Naruto: Hell no! Kagebunshin no Jutsu!
Ron: Wicked!
P U N C H
Kikyou: I feel sorry for that blond brat.
Sasori: No, he's a hyperactive, knuckleheaded, blond GAY brat.
Evil Narrator: MUHAHAHAHA----
Kikyou: -Sighs- And why is HE here?
Sasori: Who knows? ...But I know that he's gay.
Gaara: I RAN OUT OF SAND!
Haku: -Applies lipstick- Idiot.
Jakotsu: -Runs around- I'm GAAAY!
Renkotsu: -Skips around with Jakotsu- Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O… and on his farm he had some ducks, E-I-E-I-O…!
Shippou: I'm scared… -Sobs-
Inuyasha: -Rolls around on floor-
Itachi: -Rolls around on Inuyasha-
Hinata: I-I want to g-go back to the liv-living….
Renkotsu: …with a quack quack here and a quack quack there, here quack there quack everywhere quack quack…! -Makes weird arm movements-
Shikamaru: And there I thought Naruto, Ino, and Temari were troublesome… guess I'm wrong…
Shino: ….
Naruto: I'M HUNGRY! I WANT RAMEN!
Evil Narrator: MUHAHAHAHAHA--!
Sakura: SHUT UP!
Ino: -Flirting with Sanji-
Flay: WHY ISN'T ANYBODY PROTECTING ME!
Sora: I'M COMING!
Flay: I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU!
Akamaru: -Whimpers-
Kiba: I agree. Women are SCARY.
Flay: -Faces Kiba- WHAAAAT!
Kiba: -Whimpers- N-nothing….
Sakura: WOW!
Naruto: WHY ARE WE YELLING?
Flay: I DON'T KNOW!
Sora: FLAY STARTED IT!
Naruto: Actually, I started it. HEE HEE!
Shino & Kanna: ….
Kiba: "…."ness.
Shino: Want to be next?
Kiba: No thanks!
Akamaru: Arf!
Kiba: DON'T CALL ME A DUMBASS AKAMARU!
Kagura: Weirdo.
Kirara: Mew!
Akamaru: Arf!
Kirara: Meow mew MEOW!
Akamaru: Grrr….
Kirara: HISS!
Kiba: They better not be bonding….
Flay: Aw! They're bonding!
-Kiba flies towards Flay with a fist, but Shino holds him back-
Kiba: DAMN YOU FLAY! AND YOU TOO, SHINO!
Shino: ….
Kiba: Don't all "…." me!
Hinata: K-Kiba-kun don't f-fight please….
Kiba: -Calms down- Alright, Hinata.
Kanna: …amazing….
Naruto: This is getting boring.
Sakura: Thought you're never going to say it.
Naruto: Then you're WRONG! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Background: Itachi & Inuyasha sucking thumbs and rolling around; Jakotsu and Bankotsu saying they're gay lords and Renkotsu singing "Old McDonald"
Sasuke: I'm hungry.
Shikamaru: It's getting to troublesome, LET'S END THIS STORY.
Naruto: We were in a story?
Shikamaru: I think so….
Naruto: Why didn't you say so! I looked like an idiot!
Sakura: Um, you ARE an idiot, Naruto?
Naruto: -Brushing his hair in front of a suddenly appeared mirror- LA LA LA LA! I DID NOTHING! SASUKE IS AN IDIOT! I'M GONNA BE THE FUTURE HOKAGE! AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME! YEAH YEAH YEAH! I'M TOTALLY AWESOME! OH YEEEEEAAAAAH-
P U N C H
Naruto: -Thud-
Sakura: And STAY that way this time!
Neji: Wait, How come Tsunade-sama was never here?
IN THE LIVING:
Tsunade: Laa dee daa daa doo-- -Brushing hair-
IN THE LAND O' THE DEAD:
Naruto: HEY! NOT FAIR! WHY ISN'T TSUNADE-BAA-CHAN DEAD?
Sakura: Stay DEAD, for Pete's sake! -Punches Naruto again-
Sasuke: Good job, Sakura.
Sakura: -Squealing- Do you really think so, Sasuke-kun? -Suddenly sprouts heart eyes-
Ino: NOOOOO! SASUKE-KUN'S MINE!
Itachi: NO WAY! SASUKE-CHAN IS MINE! MINE, I TELL YOU, MINE!
Sasuke: -Runs away-
Itachi, Sakura and Ino: SASUKE-KUN(CHAN)! WAIT FOR US! -Runs after Sasuke-
Neji: Oh great...
To be continued...