A/N: She-ra and the Princess of power were made by J. Michael Straczynski and Larry DiTillio, I only take credit for my own added character's and storylines. Similarly, any references will be attributed to their original creators when they pop up.
Recommended story: As long as we stay together (if we just stay together) by HerotheHardWay
AdoraxCatra, unsurprisingly. PhD student AU in the South Pole. Sounds strange until you start reading it, at which point, you'll read it all in one go. Adora and Catra are former best friends that haven't spoken in years after an explosive fall out, only to find each other at an IceCube Neutrino Detector in the South Pole. Angst with a happy ending.
BTW, I also have an A03 account where I'm also publishing, if you prefer reading it there~.
Enjoy!
Chapter 1 ~ Awaken
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Right, so: Content Warning! I haven't quite got this hammered out, but suicidal thoughts, self-harm, depression and some other mental illness will take part. If any of the above is something you are not comfortable with, then you might want to skip this fic.
There's also LGBT, but what are you doing here if that's a suprise?
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Inhaling sharply, she chokes on nightmares, eyes flutter open as she lies on a puddle of blood.
Her breathing, already ragged, hastens as her heartbeat drums into her chest, the lingering delirious mindset disappearing as she stares. Awkwardly, leaning out of her bed, Catra can only watch wide-eyed at her inner forearm, eyes trailing from the deep slashed wounds to her still protracted, blooded claws.
It wasn't the first time she'd clumsily scratched herself, of course, she'd done it countless times during her childhood, particularly in those awkward years of puberty, but this- this was a gash, deeply embedded through her skin with taunting red.
It was still bleeding.
Breathing short and fast, she feels the panic welling through her lungs as she shakily stands up.
Who did she even go-to for this? Because it's not like she can head to the treatment facilities and get one of the doctors to look at it. Or, well, she could, technically, but it'd be seen as a weakness. Not even a week in as second in command? She'd be lucky with only a demotion. You can't show vulnerability in the Horde.
Before she can even begin to process it, she's knocking on the door, some attempt to breathe going through her brain as her body shivering and her sight blurs.
"Honestly, it's still not six!" Scorpia's soothing voice yawns. She remembers now. They in Dryl, having chosen nearby rooms to avoid the awkwardness of finding each other in such maze. "A girl really needs her sleep, Entrap- Fu- CATRA!" Grimacing, she leans on Scorpia, a rare loss of balance flowing through her.
She's not sure when she's started associating Scorpia with safety. She's not even sure if she wants to know. Scorpia is nice, true, but she's also Horde. But... even if she's a little bit leery of the thought, her shoulders shake a little bit less as she's scooped up and placed on a bed.
"-to talk me through this," Scorpia begs. "I-I think I had some bandages- not here, no. No. N- Here!"
"Scorpia?" What is she even doing here? Wait. No, Catra's the one here.
"Okay," Scorpia says, attempting to smile reassuringly. "s-stay awake, Wildcat." She nods, focusing on Scorpias shaky voice.
"...Entrapta was here?" She murmurs curiously.
"Huh? Wha- Oh. Yeah, she woke me up at -one? two?- sometime early in the morning." Catra hummed as she half listens to the amusing tale. She ignores the (surprisingly gentle) pressure on her right arm as she stares surprisingly peacefully. "So... um?"
"Woke up in a pool of blood. Hadn't done that in years." She admits, weirdly nostalgic over it.
It's been like this since Brightmoon's invasion. She's been losing her self in thoughts more often lately. Easier times, where the world was so much simpler. She can't help but think.
"Wait, wait, wait. You've done this before?" It's not quite a shirk, but Scorpia's voice must have been two octaves higher to have been that squeaky.
"Huh? Oh. Not the pool of blood. I meant the teeth and claws." She explained with a nod.
"I...sorry, what?"
"Hmm. Went through this phase. I needed to bite everything because my jaws were always hurting. Same with my claws. First time I've done it in my sleep thought." Teething, Adora had called it.
"Right. So... I'm going to find you some clothes, and I'll ask Entrapta to take a look. You- er, you're going to be okay?" Scorpia asked with worry.
"Fine." She nodded tiredly. "Since when is Enrapta a doctor?"
"I'm hoping that she is because I don't know anyone else that can help and keep it to themselves."
Catra nods again, faintly recognising the sound of the door's closing as she leans back onto the bed.
Absently, her finger's touch her fang, a faint frown etching on her features. She'd been honest when she'd said she hadn't done that in years. She had some ideas as to what had caused it, bluebell coloured eyes staring at her from her nightmare.
Grimacing, she rolled to her side, staring blankly at the wall as she pondered through her sea of thoughts.
She'd been careless, back in the crystal castle. It'd been so easy, to fall into old habits, reaching out, watching Adora's back as they swapped playful banter. How she allowed herself to feel safe. Allowed herself the privilege for the first time in months for just her presence.
Adora was a defector, which made her an enemy.
It didn't make it any easier to stomach.
"Oh. Yes. I can see why you were panicking, Scorpia." A voice she instantly recognised as Entrapta states. "However, I am a scientist, not a doctor. Wouldn't it be easier if we brought a- well, a doctor?"
She had a point.
"Robots, biology, same difference, right?" Scorpia hopes.
Wai- what?
"It looks fine? Say Catra, any sense of dizziness?"
"...No?"
"See! She's fine!" Entrapta cheered before coming to a stop. "I... should probably give it a check just in case."
"Hmm," Catra yawns, vaguely aware of their voices as she losses focus.
"Ah! W-wait! You shouldn't-"
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"Scorpia?" She askes, head spinning as her sight is slightly blurred.
"Ah! You awake!" Scopria's eyes brighten as she rushes to her side. "Good! That's good! I had to say you stayed up going over strategies, which worked since you have been doing that most of the time, but we were starting to think we might need to bring one of the doctors after all..."
"What are you-" She blinks, staring at her bandaged armed as her lips separate. "Oh." Because really, how else is she supposed to react to that?
"Yeah... I got you some fingerless gloves that reach the shoulder since..." The sentence ends in an awkward trail as she shifts uncomfortably.
"Right... thanks for that." Honestly? She isn't sure which of them is more surprised by the lack of hostility.
It's just that...
She's tired. So full of weariness, and the usual lake of rage she usually pulls from withing her isn't there. Replaced by weary pain and aching numbness.
Just... tired.
Being second in command had and hadn't quite been what she'd hoped for.
Oh, she enjoyed it.
Playing God on top of a map was truly exhilarating. Gaining territory, predicting movements, giving ground only to use it into an advantage... she'd never felt more alive.
The problem, however, laid in what she had to work with.
Most of the force captains at her disposal were useless. Resources were vast, but the quality was lacking, and... Honestly? For all the good training the soldiers were given, the propaganda as to what one should expect from princesses and the rebellion ruined it.
And the less said of the mess Shadow Wavers left behind, the better.
"Wildcat? You okay?" Scorpia bit her lip, looking at her with worry as she rubbed her arm. "I... you know you can talk to us, right? Just, if you need to rant about anything... or whatever else, we... I'm happy to listen, yeah?"
"I'm-" Fine, she wants to say. But the words die in her throat as her eyes meet Scorpia's. "I'll think about it."
And if she practically runs out of the room?
Well, that's for her alone to know.
She barely runs for a minute before coming to a stop, leaning onto the wall as she slides to the ground.
It's a luxury she wouldn't allow herself back at the fright zone. But all the soldiers are outside of the castle, and even if they weren't, she barely brought fifty of them to start preparations.
She's exhausted, as in Shadow Waver punishment level exhaustion, which-
Catra really didn't want to think about that woman. Actually, she doesn't want to think of anything to do with that woman. Rubbing her eyes tiredly, she pulls out her screen (she really needs to ask Entrapta what it's called) as she starts calculating logistics.
They wouldn't be staying here long, of course, once they had a basic perimeter made and Entrapta had everything sorted out, they'd head back to the fright zone, she'd rearrange the offensive line to account for the changes and start positioning for the real push.
Her eyes fall slightly, she leans her head onto the wall as she takes a moment to rest. Absentmindedly, her fingers trace over her newly worn sleeve, where they carefully hide bandages from prying eyes.
This is all Adora's fault. She decides irritatedly, forcing herself upwards to cheek on how the perimeter arrangments are going.
Her eye twitches when, not even a minute later, her screen starts beeping.
"H-Hello? Hello? Please tell me you're on your way back? I need backup! Entrapta's new invention has lost it!"
"-437 Is having some sort of existential crisis! Down boy-" There's a momentarily static sound followed by a minor explosion as Catra watches the two body tackle the robot.
"I..." Letting out a sigh, Catra stared at the sky in half held contemplation. "Pull it together, Kyle, you're soldier, you're fine."
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to take over Dryl, she thinks idly. Yes, it's a gain of territory, and yes, it gave almost all of the materials Entrapta needed to continue her experiments...
Unfortunellty, not only did that mean there was nothing from making her experiments more... insane, it also meant they had to deal with the actual structure of the castle, which even it's own princess had little idea as to how to navigate.
She just wanted to lie down and sleep. Not deal with... whatever this is.
So, in proper Catra fashion, her face gets covered with pink sparkles.
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"-took a hostage! We supposed to be the good guys!" A moment of silence as the boy in question starts to pace. "Maybe we should let her go and-
"Let her go? Did she let us go? No! She-"
"Yeah! Because she's the bad guy!"
Catra twitched, letting out an exaggerated snore because- This? This irritates her.
Not the being ignored, mind you. It's... Adora had said that. Used that particular word.
Evil. Catra had no delusions in a good versus bad world that the rebellion seemed to (rather obviously) see. Honestly, the way she spoke about it was as if evil shouldn't exist. Not to say that Catra claimed that evil was a good thing to have (pun intended), she was well aware of what the Horde was, of what it took, of what it did.
But it was not made up of evil.
Repulsive leadership? Certainly. Terrible structure? Unfortunately. Evil construction? Not so much.
Most soldiers served out of fear, fear of punishment from the horde for defection, or the rebellion for the loyalty they never had a choice in.
Which was a terrible choice. If you enemy wanted to defect then you dragged them to your side. As it was? The rebellion was practically encouraging them to continue the war.
Unfortunately, she couldn't use that, as the Horde did not possess the moral high ground.
Not yet, at least.
...
Actually, not ever, since changing things would require getting Hordak to have a change of heart.
So yeah, the (not so) evil Horde for the win!
"-advantage!"
Catra blinks as Sparkles starts storming towards her, smirking even if she has no idea what's going on.
"We're taking you to Bright-Moon! If your people want you back, they'll have to give as Entrapta."
Oh.
Huh. So they did realise who they'd left behind. Or, maybe, a darker side of her thinks, they realised only after the robots had made clear leaps of advancements in a matter of weeks.
Catra snorts, sending the most patronising look to Glitter she can master in her slight delirious state. "Right. Good luck with that, then." Glowy, of course, growls.
"On your feet, Horde scum." Wow. The princess has spunk.
"Ah. I seem to be unable to walk." She mellows dramatically, falling to her side with an 'oomph'. "How unfortunate."
"Nice try." She snorts. "I'll just teleport us there."
"Er Glimmer," The calmer of the two interrupts. "Could I talk to you real quick?"
Talk? They did realise these ears won't for show, didn't they? ...she wouldn't complain about an advantage, though. Prideful and vain she may be, but those were fruits from a life of constant dismissal and insults. Nothing was too low for her, after all.
Despise herself, she almost lets out a startled laugh as Arrow boy whispers unsuccessfully that the princess is rechargeable.
That, she thinks, is a game-changer.
"Here! Let me help you up!"
"...what?" Catra asks, irritated with the situation in general. Shadow Waver would be so disappointed. A voice lazily comments. When isn't she? The more vindicative side shoots back.
"The rebellion treats its prisoners with compassion." He smiles brightly, pulling her up with a surprising amount of ease.
"Right... Ever wonder that might be why you, oh, I don't know? Losing?" Catra huffed in irritation as they start walking. "You princess types always have to be the bleeding heart's, don't you? Everythings about the power of friendship." Her lips twitch in a particular taunting smirk. "How's that working out for you?"
"Come on, I bet even the horde has friends. What about Adora?" Catra's lips thinned. "You two grew up together, what was she like as a kid?"
"..."
"Glimmer and I have known each other forever too. She teleported to the roof to get my arrows when I was just learning how to shoot."
"..." Did he not shut up? Thought...she could use this, she realised. He was distracted. Just push him down the canyon with her and Sparkles would catch them.
"You're... feeling okay?" Urgh! Why was he so nice. Cruelty was easy to deal with. But she now felt guilty for considering pushing him off the cliff. "Peachy." She lies through her teeth. If anything, the urge to crawl into one of the abandoned air vents and sleep had only grown at the mention of her deserting friend. "...One-track mind."
"Er... what?"
"Adora." She huffs in irritation. "She was one-track-minded, even as a kid."
"Oh!? What else? What else?"
...How much blood has she lost? Couldn't possibly be more than some few hours, right? Her thoughts wander as fatigue started to eat her away, not enough to keep her down, of course, but she felt somewhat light-headed.
Explains how she got captured, at least. "...does she still sleep fight?" She asks absentmindedly, pondering how long until her body made more blood.
Did it even work like that? The horde didn't really have much information that wasn't combat orientated. She... might ask Rogelio. She hasn't spoken with him... or her team, actually, for weeks. Not out of duty, as they used to.
Before everything went to hell.
Bow giggled, nodded eagerly as his eyes sparkled with curiosity. It... Honestly, she wasn't quite sure what someone like him was doing in this war. He was as suited to it as Kyle was.
Which meant he wasn't.
"She did it yesterday! I... er, we were having a sleepover, and Glimmer has this really high bed, and midway through the night, we both literally being thrown out of bed. Glimmer woke up screaming before stopping us from hitting the ground."
"...Sounds like Glimmer would do anything for you." She misses that as her absent whisper leaves her lips. The no need to think trust Adora and she had shared.
Then she decided to play princess, and now Catra had to deal with the mess.
"Absolutely, Glimmers my best friend." Arrow boy -she thinks sparkles might have called him Bow- smiles nostalgically. She's not dealing with this. As a matter of fact, she refuses to deal with this.
"...I see." And she does. So she pushes.
She can't deny the faint smirk that graces her lips as he lets out a high pitch scream.
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"Don't know about you, but I. am. beat. Honestly! Getting held hostage is so much work. Ohhh." Turns out, blood lose seems to take more than some few hours to heal. She feels terrible. Actually, she thinks she might feel even worse than this morning. Thought messing with the princesses is lightening her day.
"Ignore her. Just ignore her."
Arrow boy was making the most amusing expressions, as she was dragged on the floor, which might have explained it, after his claim of 'fair treatment'. "You look pretty tired, princess. Running out of glitter?" She hums curiously.
"How did Adora take years from this?" She stumps her foot, vibrating in irritation as she sends Catra a venomous glare. "She didn't run away from the Horde, she runs away from you.
Catra's eyes narrow, jumping on her feet as her raging anger start to return. "And where is she now? Of being She-ra? Get used to it. She left Entrapta behind, what makes you think that she won't leave you as well, Sparkles?
Glimmers eyes narrowed, taking a threatening step closer as her hands twitched.
Catra raised an eyebrow, ear momentarily twitching as she hears a familiar sound in the distance.
She needs to time this carefully.
"We are her friends, unlike you, who-"
"Oh, do save me the lecture, she left her home for a glowing sword, you're extra baggage at best."
Glitter seems like she's about to explode -would she let out sparkles?- as her teeth grit together.
"That's it! Bow! We are-"
"Don't move." Catra instantly does the opposite, with practised ease her hips twist, leg slamming into Sparkles calf, forcing her onto the ground as she sidestepped backwards towards her team.
"Catra? Are you okay? Did they hurt you?" Her panic waves freeze as her eyes scan her before turning into a furious snarl as she glares at the princesses. "Oh, I will crush them!"
It takes her a moment to realise that she's covered in scratches and dirt, between the waterfall and being dragged over the mountain path she probably looks rather ragged. "I'm okay," Catra responded, blinking at the sheer protective tone Scorpia was taking. And she is. She feels (closer to) okay, it's a strange feeling, and she's unsure on how to process it. So she doesn't. "Right. Not that this hasn't been fun, but you now seem to be at a slight disadvantage."
Glitter's jaw tightens as she glares. "We'll save her." She promises. "One day, well get her back."
Catra blinks, staring at them because-
-because they think they have the moral high ground? After they abandoned Entrapta?
Grabbing the screen from Scorpia's offered hand -claw?-, she types in her
password before sending Kyle a call.
"Oh! Hey Catra!" Entrapta smiles, eyes darting towards one of her keyboards as she types some abstract program. "Kyle isn't available at the moment, but don't worry, I've got it under control!" Her firm declaration is followed by an explosion, the collapse of metal promptingly following before dragging silence. "It's okay, though, this was only the prototype. The next one will be much, much bigger."
"Entrapta..." Arrow Boy speaks incomprehensibly. "What is going on?"
"Hi, bow! What are you doing there?" Catra isn't quite sure, but she can't help think that they've missed the slight hostility in her voice.
"Hang on Entrapta, we're going to rescue you!" Oh. They've definitely missed it, and she's not sure how. Even from the awkward angle as she holds the screen, she can see the slight tensing of Entrapta's shoulders.
"Oh good..." Entrapta's smile becomes fixed, unsure on how to react. "Rescue me from what?"
And Catra can't help the vindictive smirk that grows on her lips as they stare in comprehensive horror because- how dare they act like this is some huge betrayal!
Good. She thinks angrily. You left someone you called a friend behind and thought they'd still want you? If nothing else, they perfect for Adora. And as Entrapta slowly shatters they perfect pink world of wonders, she can't help but feel a slight warmth under her chest. Because Entrapta chose me over you. And that.
That means something.
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Catra tries not to claw her eyes out, if only because that'd only make her work harder.
How had Shadow Waver stayed as second in command for decades? Her strategies consisted of overwhelming force, her actual actions and responsibilities as second in command were superficial at best. And her updates in terms of progress... disturbing did not even begin to describe them.
Adora was Shadow Waver's favourite. This, Catra had known. What Catra hadn't realised was the level of obsession that women had held for Adora.
As in, a good half of her time was spent obsessing over Adora. For years. Which was already creepy, before you realised that this had gone since before Adora had learnt to walk.
Adora. Shadow waver's had made it clear on how it stood for to be adored.
Catra. It stood for Adora's cat.
It was...
Disgusting? The level of obsession she'd had over someone that hadn't even learned to walk yet. A little disappointing as well, since it was clear that power and Adora was the only thing that women had cared about. And-
And, maybe, a little heartbreaking. Because the only references she could find of herself was the rare 'Adora's pet' or 'vile beast'.
But still. Catra continued working.
She needed to figure out a clear chain of command. Because Force Captains really didn't have an obvious could or cant's in the rulebook and it was driving Catra insane.
So, here she was, reconstructing the military structure while planning numerous strategies while memorising as much as she could.
And people called her lazy.
Leaning into her chair, she stared at a particular file that taunted her at the side of her desk. All her problems could be solved with this. The problem laid in her pride.
Pride or power. Which did she choose?
Letting out an irritated growl, she leaned into the table, head buried into her arms, as her unruly hair acts as a shield as, hiding her from view.
Adora had once compared it to a lions mane.
And Catra had made it even wilder, in hops of having Adora compliment it again. She never did.
Pride? Or power?
Lifting her head slightly, her mismatched eyes stared at the file as if it'd had personally offended her (it had).
As a Horde soldier, achievements meant everything. And that was the problem. Shadow Waver had made sure that Adorama would gain all those achievements, raising at the challenge and succeeding. Because that was the thing? Wasn't it? While Adora deserved her position, the were other's that could have challenged her for it.
But Shadow Waver was the one with power, so they hadn't.
Catra had chosen pride to hide from eyes, boasting and smirking knowing she'd never be accepted. Rogelio had chosen non-mandatory focuses, such as medicine and technology. Lonnie chose to be loud and tough, spending most of her time in the gym. And Kyle...
Kyle was intelligent. Not Entrapta's level of intelligence, of course, but...
Catra stared at the file.
Pride or Power?
Someone that intelligent that was empathetic could easily become a powerful piece.
She grabbed the file, walking towards the window to gaze at the cloudy sky.
Just this once, she'd chose power over pride.
Eyes gleaming downwards, she memorised Kyles report file.
It's time to change, she thinks tiredly.
So she does.
And with her, so does the universe.
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I've realised I'm incapable of sticking with a single fic. Seriously. I have over a dozen half-made, some even finished in my head, but...
I've already finished the main outline of this fic, so now it's just wait and see how long I can write. And seeing how long it took me to bring this one up, that might be a while.
Don't worry, there's a lot of paraphrasing, but that will only be for season two. This will mostly go AU the further in we go, so there's that.
Also, Beta testers! If anyone's interested I'm sure I can figure out how it works, maybe, possible.
Thoughts? Did you enjoy it?
Anyways, Ill See you next time! Ciao!
~ Sapphire and Emeralds