I do not own Grand Theft Auto. All rights belong to their respective owners.
This is a new series in which I basically write the story of a game, cartoon, book, etcetera, only instead I follow the actual plot. Basically, I copy the main story and shorten it in the stupidest way possible. In other words, I'm taking the piss. Please enjoy, and don't sue. I have no money.
Ten years ago, Michael, Trevor and Brad just robbed a bank, but even Trevor's bababa couldn't help them as they got hit by a train that was only seconds ago travelling an inch per second.
Brad and Michael got shot. "Nooo! Mikey! I love you!" screamed an anguished Trevor, who proceeds to shoot a dozen cops in the face.
"Trevor, FUCK OFF ALREADY!" said 'dying' Michael, as his friend ran into the snow.
Present day, actually it's 2013 but whatever.
"And that's how I made the college football team." finished not-dead Michael, his therapist scribbling a zepplin on his notepad.
"Hmm... uh-huh, so how does that make you feel?"
Michael pondered.
"Quite sad, since now I'm a fat mopey loser with nothing to do, a wife ready to divorce, a daughter selling herself for fucks on the street, and a son who does nothing but masturbate, pull from his bong and pretend he's a black person from a film or violent video game."
Later, he gave two guys directions, and resumed his self loathing.
And those two guys were GSF.
"Woo, shit dawg, these cars are HOT!" exclaims the skinnier of the two, hopping into the white sportscar.
"Fuck you, man, I had dibs on that shit!" complained his friend, hopping into the red car beside him.
"Whatever, man, race ya to Simeon!" Lamar, skinny guy yells, speeding off, leaving larger guy Franklin behind.
"Come on, that was a bullshit move!"
Fifty pileups were caused before the cops were involved.
"Oh shit, five-oh! You lose the heat, dawg, and I'll get to Simeon!" and Lamar abandoned Franklin.
"NIGGA, FUCK YOU!"
So he was forced to ditch the cops himself, with as much luck as an Australian speedrunner. But before he could recall a term used before called RNG, the magical stars above him vanished.
He finally arrived at his employer with his now horribly mangled car.
"Frahnkilin! So niice to see you back again! And the cahr looks perrfect!"
Franklin looks slowly from the car to Simeon, and then Simeon to the car. "Aight?"
"And you are naow... employee of the month!" he says cheerily.
"...kay?"
A wild Lamar has appeared!
"But Simeeeeooooon! I wanted to be employee of the month!"
And they had a lot of boring talking stuff, so Franklin went home to rest his tired head.
Only to spend the next couple of missions as a tow-truck driver, and had to chase some punk to get his bike back for Simeon. Lester took the bike but couldn't be bothered to return it.
"WAGGH, UWAGH UWA GU WAGGH!" blared Franklin's phone. God his ringtones sucked.
"FRAHNKILIN! GET BACK THE YELLOW CAR!"
After being given the employment ultimatum, Franklin breaks into a luxury villa to reclaim a car that some gangsta wannabe got recently.
Hiding in the bathroom, he listens...
"...EW! MOM! JIMMY'S DOING THAT GUY THING AGAIN!"
"F-FUCK OFF YOU SLUT! YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!"
Franklin then decided to just take the car and vacate the premesis.
Just a few meters down the street and the feeling of metal sent a shivver down his spine.
"You woke me up while I was dreaming of Lady Gaga. I am not amused. Drive." said Michael. He made him drive into Simeon's store.
"NOOO!!! FRAHNKILIN! WHYYYY!!!?"
Michael punches the man in the face and knocks him cold.
And then he decided to do more heists, because why wouldn't an ex-criminal under federal protection do so?