It was the day of Christmas Eve and the Irregulars were already going crazy and getting antsy. While Lestrade and Holmes were willing enough to sit in front of the fire with a good book for hours on end, the kids were bored. Cabin fever had officially set in.
Wiggins and Deidre had already been banned from the bedroom when Watson had found them bouncing on the beds like five-year-olds. Tennyson had only gotten in some minor trouble for upgrading Holmes' computer.
Deidre and Wiggins now lay on the floor playing chess while Tennyson surfed the Internet.
"Hey Wiggins." Deidre said as she moved her queen. "Would you rather lick a pay phone or eat a bug?"
"Lick a pay phone, definitely. A bug's got all those legs that could get stuck in your throat."
"Speaking from experience are we?" Inquired Holmes.
Wiggins smiled slightly as he took one of Deidre's rooks.
"What are you talking about?" Lestrade asked as she flopped down on the couch.
"We just started playing Would You Rather." Deidre said.
Lestrade chuckled. "Zed, I haven't played that in years."
"My turn." Wiggins spoke up. "Tennyson, would you rather be interrogated by the Inspector or give yourself a wedgie?"
The wedgie.
"Am I really that unbearable?"
Deidre raised a hand. "Can I plead the Fifth?"
Lestrade rolled her eyes.
Tennyson swung his hoverchair to face Beth. Smell Wiggins socks or eat something you've cooked?
"Oh, that's easy." Lestrade said. "Smell the socks."
Watson looked up from fixing a loose servo in his forearm. "Is your cooking that bad Inspector?"
"You have no idea. Okay Deidre, would you rather get a hand-me-down or…give Holmes a makeover?"
"Give Mr. Holmes the makeover."
Sherlock raised an eyebrow at the two females. "Is there something wrong with my appearance?"
"No comment. All right, Mr. Holmes. Give Chief Grayson a spongebath…or kiss the Inspector?
Holmes immediately stood up. "Has anyone seen Francesca at all today? Perhaps I'll go and find her. Wouldn't want her getting stuck somewhere."
Deidre and Tennyson immediately started giggling.
"Spoilsport!" Wiggins yelled up the stairs after the obviously embarrassed private detective.
Seconds later Holmes rushed to the railing at the second floor landing. "Lestrade, you're needed up here."
"Where's the fire Holmes?"
"There's no fire you daft woman. Francesca's having kittens and I…I have no idea what to do."
Lestrade took the stairs three at a time, mumbling something that sounded like 'men' under her breath.
"Someone find Tigerlily and make sure he doesn't come upstairs." Her voice floated back down the stairs at the kids.
After a mad scramble around the flat Deidre stuck her head in the door of the guestroom to find Beth and Sherlock flat on their stomachs staring intently under the bed.
"Just thought I should tell you we found him. Watson's got him down in the kitchen for now and boy is he mad. How's Frankie doing?"
"She just had her first kitten and I think she's done for now. Nothing's gonna happen for a while."
Sherlock turned to Lestrade. "Does it usually take long for a cat to give birth?"
"Anywhere from a few minutes to half an hour for each, it just depends. I don't think it'll take too long though. Deidre, get me some napkins or a couple of towels."
"Why?"
"That way I can clean up the kittens as they come, it tends to get messy."
"Oh zed, that's just gross." Deidre left the room like she was shot out of a cannon and returned quickly to slide a pile of fluffy towels across the floor to Lestrade.
"You know, you can come in." Lestrade said as she rolled her eyes.
"No way." And then she was gone again.
SHERLOCKHOLMESINTHE22NDCENTURYThat night Watson put the children to sleep in Holmes' bedroom and then went to check on the adults in the guestroom. Both were sleeping on the less than comfortable wood floor. Watson crouched down to look under the bed to find Francesca cleaning three softly mewling kittens.
Instead of waking up the two on the floor, Watson merely slipped pillows under their heads and draped a blanket over them. When he was sure everyone was well asleep he headed downstairs to keep company with a pissed off Tigerlily in the kitchen.