Okay, Part 4. The scene at the ramen bar and the master plan revealed! -scoff- Of /course/ there's a master plan. There's always a master plan...

Hey...Father's Day is Sunday... -blinks, then runs to Wal-Mart-

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Kishimoto-san does!

RECAP: After arriving at the Jounin Lounge, Naruto and Sasuke ask, not only Anko, but Kurenai as well to be members of their prostitution ring. However, they were almost friggin killed. So, after some cowering behind Gai and Asuma, Gai freak-outs, and a near-death experience, our two little wannabe pimps continue their search.

Not-Happening Prostitutes:

Tsunade

Tenten

Ino

Anko

Kurenai

/Ichiraku's Ramen Bar/

If slurping ramen was an Olympic sport, I swear Naruto would take the gold. And I'm sure that Sasuke would agree. He just sat there, watching Naruto eat his eleventh bowl of Ramen in a matter of ten minutes. That's more than a bowl a minute! Naruto felt the gaze of the Uchiha, however, and turned to face him. Taking note that Sasuke was gawking at him, he said, "What the hell are you doing?"

"What are you?"

"Huh?" Naruto took another slurp of ramen.

"What the hell are you? No one eats ramen like that. The hell is wrong with you!"

"Nothing. What's wrong with you?"

Frustrated, Sasuke grabbed his chopsticks, broke them, and began to eat his ramen. "Nevermind, just go back to…doing whatever you were doing."

Naruto shrugged and, indeed, went back to his ramen.

The ramen guy came up to give Naruto his next bowl of ramen that he had asked for a couple of minutes ago. Setting the bowl down carefully, so his hand wouldn't get eaten off, he inched slowly away, bumping into his daughter, Ayame. Ayame looked confusedly at her father's cautiousness, not fully understanding why he was doing it. Seeing her confusion, the ramen guy pointed shakily at Naruto, who had just started on the new bowl of ramen. Ayame's eyes widened. She understood now. Putting on a brave smile, she walked over to the two boys. "Can I get you two anything else?"

Throwing a disgusted glance to Naruto, Sasuke answered with a simple, "No. Thank you, though," and went back to his own ramen.

Smiling and thanking the deity that was watching over her tonight, Ayame nodded and walked away. Naruto, however, had stopped his massive slurping of the ramen to notice Ayame. Setting the bowl and his chopsticks down, he shook Sasuke to get his attention.

"WHAT?" Sasuke whispered harshly, pushing Naruto's hand away.

"That girl, Sasuke!" he excitably whispered back.

Sasuke looked over to Ayame who was talking to another customer. "What about her?"

"We can ask her to be part of our pimp circle!" Naruto smiled triumphantly.

Thinking back to the day's earlier events, Sasuke shook his head, coming to a very rational conclusion. "Um, I don't think we should."

"Why not?"

"Well, for one, her dad owns the ramen place. So, if he finds out that we asked his daughter to be a whore, he won't ever let us come back again. And for two-"

"STOP! NO MORE!" Naruto cried, cutting Sasuke off. "We won't ask. Just stop with the torture!"

"Okay, Naruto. I'll stop. Just shut-up. You're causing a scene."

The other customers were staring oddly at the crying blonde and his blue-black haired companion, and whispering different rumors about them. Sasuke and Naruto's faces turned a slight pink and the two boys stared down at their ramen bowls. Curious as to what Naruto was yelling about, Ayame walked back over to the boys. "Are you two okay?"

Naruto's eyes widened at hearing Ayame speak. Remembering what Sasuke had told him, Naruto shot up and ran away from Ichiraku's screaming, "I'M SORRY!" Sasuke and Ayame blinked several times before Sasuke paid for their meal, apologizing profusely for Naruto's erratic behavior. Getting up as well, Sasuke took off after Naruto, who could still be heard very clearly even though he had a four minute head start.

Naruto continued running as fast as he could, screaming and crying about ramen. He eventually was stopped, by running into none other than our favorite chuunin teacher. Umino Iruka. Iruka had just finished grading some papers and had decided to take a walk to help clear his head. He didn't count on running into his former student. Well, having his former student run into him, actually. Seeing that it was Iruka, Naruto attached himself to Iruka's mid-section and proceeded to bawl like a baby. Concern and worry taking over, Iruka embraced the boy and asked, "Naruto-kun? What's the matter?"

"Oh, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto called through his crying. "It was awful! If we asked that lady to help us out, then her father would've found out, and gotten mad at us, then he would never let me eat ramen ever again, and Sasuke was all, 'Stop causing a scene, Naruto', 'cause I was crying 'cause I was upset, and then I ran off, leaving Sasuke with the BILL!"

Iruka attempted to process what his little friend had just told him. The only words he understood were: Iruka-sensei, ramen, Sasuke, Naruto, and bill. But, being Iruka, he had to at least try to comfort him. "It's okay, Naruto. I'm sure you can still eat ramen."

Naruto's crying came to a halt. Looking up at Iruka with watery, blue eyes, he asked, "Are you sure, Iruka-sensei?"

"Positive," he replied, smiling sweetly.

At this point, Sasuke had finally caught up to Naruto. Running up to him, he panted, "Dobe. You owe me 20 bucks."

Naruto turned away from his former sensei to look at Sasuke. Rubbing the back of his head and chuckling, he said, "Oh. Sorry, teme. I guess I did kinda leave you with the bill, didn't I?"

Sasuke chose not to respond, but to simply glare at the blonde boy who had just dove behind Iruka to keep from being killed. Remembering that Naruto and Sasuke hardly ever hung out together willingly, Iruka questioned, "Sasuke-kun. What are you and Naruto doing out, anyway?"

Sasuke's attention went from Naruto to Iruka. Choosing the words carefully, he retorted, "We're on a very important mission."

"Mission? If you're on a mission, then why didn't Kakashi-san send Sakura-chan with you two?"

Sasuke thought of a quick response. "He did, but she had to go home early."

"Oh, makes sense."

"Sasuke, that is such a lie! Sakura-chan was never with us on a 'mission'! And this isn't even a mission!" Naruto blurted.

"Naruto," Sasuke threatened through clenched teeth.

"This isn't a mission? Then what is it?" Iruka asked, becoming annoyed that he couldn't get a straight answer from either of the two.

"It's-" Sasuke began, but again was cut off by Naruto.

"It's a way to get money! Ya see, Kakashi-sensei needed money, so Sasuke and I are helping him get some by being pimps!"

Iruka's eyes widened considerably. "PIMPS!"

"Yeah, pimps. It was Sasuke's idea." Naruto said, proudly.

"Sasuke," Iruka growled.

"Iruka-sensei?" Sasuke riposted sheepishly.

"How do you know anything about pimps?"

"I read about them in one of Kakashi-sensei's books."

"Of course." Iruka rolled his eyes at Kakashi's carelessness. Shaking his head, Iruka looked back to the two boys. "Okay, you two. It's a little after seven o'clock. Go home, and forget about being pimps. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I still have some more papers to grade. Good night." And with that, Iruka was gone, away in a puff of grey smoke, leaving a couple of dumbfounded kids.

/With Kakashi/

Kakashi was sitting lake-side, reading his infamous Icha Icha Paradise book. It was peaceful, and he had just gotten to a 'good' part, when his silence was interrupted by a very-much ticked chuunin. Glancing at Iruka, Kakashi greeted him with a casual, "Yo." before going back to his book. Well, Iruka wasn't going to take a simple 'yo' from the jounin, so he grabbed Kakashi's precious book, getting the older man's undivided attention.

"So. You told Sasuke and Naruto that they could be pimps?"

"Sort of. Can I have my book back now?"

"NO! How could you, Kakashi? They're twelve! They can't be pimps!"

"I know."

Iruka was baffled by Kakashi's last statement. "What?"

"I know they can't be pimps. That's why I'm letting them try," he answered, standing up.

"You're going to have to be more specific that that, Kakashi-san."

The older man sighed. "Well, for the past three weeks, those boys have talked about nothing but being pimps. When Sasuke first suggested it, I told him that they couldn't be pimps, and I thought that would be the end of that. But, I was wrong. So, because I couldn't get it through their thick heads that being a pimp was impossible, I decided to let them prove it to themselves."

Iruka was astounded. "Wow, Kakashi. That is actually a brilliant idea. Let them make their own mistakes and teach themselves a lesson. I'm amazed."

"Well, I'm not a genius for nothing, Iruka-san. Now, can I please have my book back?" Kakashi stretched out his hand to get the book.

Iruka jerked the book back. "This is strictly a learning purpose, right?"

"Right."

"And you have absolutely no faith in them whatsoever?"

"None."

"Okay." He handed Kakashi his book. "Thank you for clearing things up, Kakashi-san. Have a good night."

"You too, Iruka-san."

Both of them poofed out simultaneously, leaving nothing of their meeting save for a couple of grey clouds.

/Back with Naruto and Sasuke/

It was now about 7:30, and our wannabe pimps were having no luck at all. They continued to just walk aimlessly walk around the village. Sasuke finally decided to walk to a stationary store and buy some paper and a pen.

"What are we gonna do with that stuff, teme?" Naruto queried.

"We're gonna make some lists," Sasuke responded, taking a seat on a bench, and began writing down names.

"About what?"

"Our prostitutes."

"I don't get it."

"You wouldn't. Look, dobe, it's really easy. We just write down the names of the women we can still ask to be whores and the ones that we've already deemed 'not going to work'. Do you get it now?"

"Um, kinda. So, we just make a list, right?"

"Right. See? It's simple."

This list of Sasuke's looked something like this:

No:

Tsunade

Tenten

Ino

Anko

Kurenai

Ayame

Sakura

Not Yet:

Inuzuka Hana

Huugya Hinata

Uzuki Yugao

Shizune

"Well, Naruto, it's about 7:45. In less than thirteen hours we have to go meet Kakashi and tell him that we failed miserably," Sasuke sighed, folding his list up and putting it in his pocket.

"Yep. You got a good point there, Sasuke. So, what are we gonna do?"

"I don't know. Let's just go home."

"But Sasuke! We still have four names left! What about them?"

"I'll tell you what, Naruto. Let's just go home. At 7:30 tomorrow morning, we'll meet at the bookstore and hit the final few names. That leaves an hour before we have to go meet Kakashi. So, you just wanna do that?"

"Sure. Sounds good. I'm beat!" He yawned loudly for emphasis. Walking away, he called, "Good night, teme! See ya tomorrow!"

Walking away as well, Sasuke called back, "Yeah. Whatever."

So, there you have it. Only four more women left to go. Oh, and if you don't remember who Uzuki Yugao is, she's Hayate's...ex-girlfriend, I guess, cuz he's dead now... -cries for the death of Hayate- I loved Hayate!

Anyway, click 'Review This Story' down there and tell me what you think. The Holy Doughnut commands it! -points to a threatening doughnut that looks ready to smite- See? Commanding.

-LGF ;)

Updated:5/16