She woke up her mind fuzzy, and the night before a distant blur. She remembers getting ready, putting on her white dress and black jewelry. She remembers driving to the party and walking through the groups of people. She remembers the taunts, the whispers, and most of all she remembers the looks. The way people stared as if they could squash her with their gaze, because that is all she was to them anymore, a bug. She remembers seeing Logan, Dick and a couple other 09ers she deems unnecessary to remember.
While her mind whirls with memories, flashes of the night before, she shifts her position on the bed and feels the first ruminants of pain. A pain coming from in between her legs, a pain she has never experienced before. She sits up placing her hand on the side of her head to keep her brain from ramming against the sides. Her eyes begin to focus better as she looks around the room, her eyes trailing around until they spot something on the floor. She reaches down to pick up the little while bundle, holding it up to get a better look. It is then that she realizes that what they are...her white panties. She remembers putting them on the night before but can't recall taking them off.
It is then that everything clicks in her mind, her lack of memory, the pain between her legs, the ruffled sheets, and her panties on the floor. The word repeats in her head in a shrill scream "RAPE". Over and over it recites again and again until she can't take it anymore. Her eyes begin to water as her heart starts to crack.
Her Virginity, a virtue she held so sacred in her soul, was gone, taken by a stranger. Or maybe not, maybe someone she knew did it? This breaks her even more as she tries to control the sobs struggling to get out. How could someone do this, and leave her alone?
She puts the white cotton underwear back on, being careful not to put pressure on the tender skin of her nether region. She wipes her eyes, and steels her features, a set of directions repeating through her thoughts: 1. get out of house, 2. get into car, 3. file police report, 4. go home and break down.
She walked out of the room taking her time to balance her wobbly steps. She makes it to the living room before she sees someone bent over and picking up a blue purse from the ground. The girl turns around her long red hair and once perfect makeup are messed while her blue skirt and red top are wrinkled and askew. She looks up and catches her eyes, and waits. Veronica wait for the insult, the tease, or the evil smile that comes before they run to gossip about what they saw. But no matter what she thought she was ready for it definitely was not what happened next.
Erica crosses the room in a flash her arms reaching out and pulling Veronica in a huge hug. "oh Veronica Sweetie, what happened to you?" she asks taking in Veronicas appearance much like her own, except her straps are torn and she looks upset and distraught. She looks her over again and remembers the look she has, it is the same one she had when…
"Oh Veronica I'm so sorry" Erica sobs. "I never should have left you alone" she whispers.
"Do you know who….?" Veronica manages her throat closing painfully in anticipation.
"No, I went to get you some water when I got woozy and bumped into Casey, he's in the back room" she said pointing her thumb over her shoulder to the other set of guest room on the other side of the house.
"Oh" she sighs, her resolve finally breaks and she is on the floor her tiny frame shaking violently as Erica holds her with a strong, comforting hold.
"Lets get you to the Police station" she says pulling her up and walking her out of the house, and down the long drive way. She stops next to Veronica's car and is sighs heavily as she sees the large white letters scrawled across the windshield…Slut. 'How original' she thinks cursing the person for their blatant disrespect.
When Veronica looks up she begins to cry harder as Erica begins to lead her yet again down the drive to the end where her dark blue Sebring convertible is parked. She gets her into the passenger seat before running to her side. While in the car she pulls down the vanity mirror and cleans off the remnants of her smeared make-up before grabbing a brush from the center council and running it through her hair. By this time Veronica had calmed down her breathing calming as she stares out the window.
She pulls up in front of the station "Okay, go in and I will be there in just a minute" she says in her best comforting tone. Veronica just nods before getting out of the car and walking up the stairs. She walks into the office, and is bombarded with flashbacks, memories of her coming to bring lunch to her dad in the afternoons, him taking her for a tour of the station during take-your-daughter-to-work day. Her sitting in the waiting room as her father packed up his office, while Lamb waited outside his usual eat-shit grin shinning brightly.
She shivers at the last ones as she walks up to the counter and Inga the friendly Dutch receptionist greets her with concern "Ver-on-i-ca!" she drawls "what happened to you?" she asks. She is starting to wonder if that is the first thing everyone is going to ask. She isn't sure if she can talk just yet but she gives it a try.
"I need to report a crime" she says her voice cracks. Inga pushes a button and announces Veronica's arrival to Lamb.
"Send her in" he demands sharply making Veronica twitch. She crosses the room her hand closing on the knob to the office, when Erica calls out her name.
"I'm here, I'm here" she breaths running past the receptionist.
"Who are you?" Inga inquires.
"Moral Support" she calls back before moving Veronica and herself into the office and closing the door behind them.
"Well, Well, Well if it isn't Veronica Mars." Lamb greets with a evil smile that would make most babies cry. "And miss Sanders to what do I owe this pleasure."
"I need to report a crime" she states her voice small and shaky.
"Oh shoot, did someone steal the Monopoly money again?" he snarks.
"I was raped last night, I went to a party and my cup was roofied, when woke up this morning I didn't have my panties." She finishes her eyes pleading with his.
"Is there anyone in particular you'd like me to arrest or should I just round up the sons of the most important families in town?" he asks sarcastically.
Veronica can't believe his response. She looks down in shame as he continues on with his inhumane rampage.
"I've got not a shred of evidence to work with here but that really doesn't matter to your family, now does it." He says a small smile forming on his face.
Veronica can't hold back a tear
"Ummm...look at this. She cries. I'll tell you what Veronica Mars, why don't you go see the wizard. Ask for a little back bone." He finishes leaning back in his chair.
"You egotistical, conniving, asshole!" Erica rages walking closer to the desk and slamming her fist down. "You took an oath to uphold the law, and protect the people of Neptune" she screams. "but here you sit sending out a victim with nothing more then a stupid line like "go see the wizard" you gutless hunk of human slime" she yells.
Veronica steps up finally snapped out of her cationic stare and pulls back her friend pushing her through the door. "Its not worth it, he'll throw you in jail before ever helping me." She states.
"You should listen to your friend" he states his face turning red with anger.
"Shut the fuck up, I will make your life a living hell, you piece of trash" she yells back into the office while Veronica continues to push her out.
They get back into the car and Erica begins to drive, but when the pass by Veronica's street she looks at Erica confused. "I live back there" she states pointing behind them.
"I know, you need to go see a doctor" she states making her way to Neptune Memorial. Veronica begins to protest when Erica stops her " you need to get checked and a rape kit, no matter what Lamb says if there is evidence you can always check into it later" she says.
"How do you know all of this?" she asks.
"It happened to my sister a year ago, remember that summer I went to Coronado for Lifeguard training" Veronica nodded, "Well we were celebrating finishing the first week when she must have drank too much, she laid down in the back when someone came in and forced themselves on her" she finishes swallowing loudly.
"She was lucky because the local police actually did their jobs and got her through it" she said taking her hand.
"I don't have insurance for all of it" she said feeling even more embarrassed.
"don't worry, I will take care of everything" she smiled.
And she did, Veronica got a rape kit as well as tested for HIV, and every kind of STD possible.
"I really appreciate this but you shouldn't be using your parents money, wont they get mad?"
"stop worrying, its my money, my grandparents left me a small fortune when they died, no one will ever know." She said pulling into the parking lot of Veronica's new apartment.
"is your dad home?" Erica asked.
"No he left on a case" she replied looking outside the window. "Erica?"
"huh?"
"Why are you here, why do you care?" Veronica asked.
"Veronica, you were my best friend, when Lilly died everything changed. I didn't know who I was anymore, I knew that I didn't want to follow the crowd but I also knew that I couldn't live through it alone. So when everyone turned on you I guess I was just too afraid to do anything" she states tears streaming down her cheeks. "Veronica I'm so sorry, I see now I was wrong and I would give anything to go back and change it all" she states. Veronica leans over and pulls her into a hug.
"Thank you" she whispers. "I can't imagine how I would have gotten through this without you."
"And I promise, this is between you and me" she states. "But I really think you should tell your dad"
"I'll think about it" she says looking back out the window towards her complex.
"So, do you need me to come in?"
"No, I think I can handle it from here" she says opening the passenger door and crawled out.
"Veronica?" she called out and she turned around. "Tomorrow let's go shopping" she calls through the open window.
"I'd like that" she says giving her a small smile.
"cool" Erica replies pulling out of the parking lot.
Veronica walks up the stair to her apartment, she opens the door and pats backup on the head lightly before walking straight into the bathroom. She looks at herself in the mirror, but all she sees are faces, faces of every guy at Neptune high. Their smug smiles drifting across her vision, causing her stomach to turn and bile to rise through her system. She is dry heaving into the toilet her eyes burning with tears as she coughs up the last of her stomach.
She looks back into the mirror and hates what she sees, she cant stand her hair the perfect mound of straight gold cascading down her frame. She is no longer that girl, she was innocent, she was unscarred, and she was a virgin. She grabs a pair of scissors from the drawer and begins to chop off layer after layer of golden locks. When she is done she turns on the water in the shower to where it scalds her skin and steps in. She begins to scrub away at her skin.
She scrubs away the old dead skin of Veronica Mars teen princess, to now unveil Veronica Mars…survivor.
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