The Best of Intentions: Chapter 13
Kaoru was lying upon her back and staring blearily at the ceiling of the cabin she was sharing with the former Okashira of the Oniwabanshu. It was raining outside, and after the flour incident the captain of the ship decided to confine his passengers to their quarters.
She thought she had learned to understand Aoshi Shinomori. Apparently she was wrong. She had grown fond of hearing his deep voice reflecting words of wisdom. The impenetrable silence she was now experiencing in his company was a stark reminder of how secretive the inner workings of his mind were.
The sound of another page turning disturbed the absolute silence of their environment. As a result, another bored sigh escaped past Kaoru's lips. She didn't want to act like a bored child but, unfortunately, that was how she felt.
Another page turned.
Kaoru gave up on pretending to entertain herself and rolled off her narrow bed to cross the distance of their small cabin. She sat beside the tall, silent man and tried to peer at his book.
Aoshi didn't say a word and held the book at such an angle that Kaoru couldn't see what had captured his attention. Her jasmine scent was distracting. As if being confined to such small quarters with a woman he wasn't allowed to touch wasn't bad enough, she was now sitting beside him, on his bed.
Perhaps the situation could have been tolerable if it weren't but for one minor detail.
Aoshi Shinomori was falling in love with a woman whose heart belonged elsewhere.
"What are you looking at?" Kaoru inquired after a fruitless attempt to see the book with her own eyes. It was almost as if he was purposely tilting it out of her line-of-sight.
Aoshi didn't answer, silently enjoying the ability to torture the woman beside him simply by not speaking. The book he was reading was quite interesting. Apparently, Yutaro had brought it for the trip. Why the young man would own such a book was a mystery.
A sharp tug on the dark ebony colored hair that was starting to show signs of a desperate need for a trim broke the ninja's resolve for silent torture. "Hey!" Aoshi glared down at Kaoru as he gingerly rubbed his abused scalp.
Kaoru smiled innocently as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. Aoshi's eyes narrowed. "I was asking what you were looking at," Kaoru's sapphire eyes blinked beguilingly at him.
Resigned that he would now endure a conversation, Aoshi handed the illustrated book to her. He was amused by her shocked reaction. "What is this?" Kaoru demanded, unable to take her eyes from the scenery depicted on the pages before her.
"It's a book I borrowed from Yutaro." Aoshi flipped the book over to reveal words written in English script. He was only faintly familiar with the language and knew Kaoru wouldn't be able to read it. "It is entitled 'Bloodiest Days of Europe.'"
"Why would you want to read such a book?" Kaoru paused, shaking her head at the horrible scenes. "Why would Yutaro have such a book for you to borrow?"
Aoshi almost smirked as she answered her own question through actions. The book held a morbid fascination. "I was curious to see that the revolution wasn't the bloodiest time." He flipped a few chapters ahead, skimming for the proper title. "This is a chapter about Bloody Mary of England. She murdered thousands. If they refused to be of the Catholic religion they died."
Kaoru swallowed audibly past the bile that rose in her throat at the site of the horrible queen. The artist had depicted her sitting upon a throne of blood and bones. It was truly grotesque. Aoshi flipped a few more chapters.
"The French Revolution," he explained waiting for her to take her fill of the imagery. He felt a slight inkling of guilt when she turned away with a green cast to her pale skin. Aoshi set aside the book and turned to rest his head against the wall and watch his companion. "I was fifteen when I served in the revolution."
Kaoru perked up and she offered the man who had established himself firmly in her heart her undivided attention. "So young," she murmured thinking that Kenshin was around that age when he was the most feared assassin in the country.
"The revolution had already been going on for a few years. As leader of the Oniwabashu it was important that I participate in such an important event," Aoshi grew quiet as his eyes took upon a distant look. He remembered his fellow ninjas well. He tried not to dwell on their untimely deaths at the hands of Kanryu.
Kaoru said nothing, allowing the man of so few words to take his time to find the right ones. Aoshi's arctic colored eyes, a swirling combination of blue and green, looked down upon his hands. "My hands are not much cleaner than Battousai's were during that time." He looked up and met Kaoru's gaze, noting her un-judging expression.
"However, I am not ashamed of my actions. I fought with honor." He closed his eyes as the memories began to overwhelm. His right hand reached towards his left shoulder. He had a scar from a knife wound that almost cost him his life. If it hadn't been for his men he probably would have died that night.
"My only shame came from my time in serving Kanryu. I was offered many jobs from the government after the revolution, but my men, being how they looked, were shunned. My loyalty to them caused me to work for filth." He was silent, obviously thinking about how that line of work had panned out, resulting in the deaths of his friends.
"However, I know that I shall not let the past dictate my life," Aoshi reached out and touched the back of Kaoru's hand lightly. "Perhaps one day Battousai will learn what you and I have learned these last few weeks together."
Kaoru flipped her hand over to rest her palm against his. Gently she squeezed their fingers in a sign of companionship and affection. "Thank you for sharing with me. Kenshin never talks about his past really."
Aoshi entwined their fingers together possessively. "I am not Kenshin."
"I know," Kaoru answered softly, her eyes resting upon their locked hands. The level of comfort was new and welcomed. "I never thanked you."
"For?" Aoshi prodded enjoying the serenity of his environment and company.
"With the whole Enishi thing," Kaoru's lips thinned. "If you hadn't recognized that doll for what it was I might have never escaped his island."
Aoshi said nothing, his silence encouraged her to continue. "It's funny really. I thought that I would hate him for what he did. But in the end I only felt pity for him and an odd sort of fondness." Kaoru laughed at herself. "He reminded me of Yahiko in a way."
To that comparison Aoshi merely raised a brow, but continued to hold Kaoru's hand as she appeared deep in thought. "If I was to suddenly die he might very well fall into the same sort of madness that found Enishi."
Aoshi raised Kaoru's hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles in a whisper. Kaoru's sapphire eyes widened in surprise at the familiar action that sent tingles down her spine. "Yahiko has nothing to worry about." He then released her hand and walked towards the door. "I'll be back."
Kaoru watched him leave. With all the odd emotions she was starting to discover for her newest friend it felt like a bad idea to be sharing a room with him.
oooooOOOOOoooooOOOOOooooo
Sanosuke was exhausted as he waited at the harbor for the ship to arrive. It seemed that no matter how much he prodded Kenshin to come with him, the red haired warrior refused. Instead of dealing with the frustration at the diplomat's home, Sano decided to leave early to wait.
It was a busy time of year for port towns and the crowds around him were a little intimidating. Of course, Zanza would never have let anyone know about feeling uncomfortable being mixed with so many people and their things. At least the nerves from the crowd he was experiencing were preferable to frustration with his best friend.
Okay, it wasn't the people that were making him tense. It was the things those people possessed. Perhaps 'things' was too broad of a term. The cameras they carried around with them more specifically caused his nerves to rattle. He still remembered when Kaoru had taken the gang to the city on a train of all things and then insisted on a photograph.
To this day Sanosuke was concerned that the eager photographer had taken advantage of the situation and stolen his soul. He raised the heel of his hand to rub against his sternum anxiously as the old fear came to mind.
His fears about a camera stealing his soul were forgotten when he saw those for whom he was waiting, namely Kaoru and the excited look upon her face. He hated to be the bearer of bad news and most importantly hated the idea of taking away the joy that was evident in her features.
Sano grinned when he noticed Yahiko and Yutaro engaged in a shoving match. It brought back fond memories of fist fights with his brother in spirit, Katsu. His chocolate eyes locked in on the exchange between Kaoru and Shinomori. It would seem his little Jou-chan was speaking rather animatedly to the stoic ninja.
What caught Sano's attention was that Shinomori actually seemed interested in what Kaoru was telling him instead of doing his typical impression of a statue. It wasn't obvious or anything, just a slight leaning forward. Sanosuke might not have been the sharpest tool in the shed, but he knew how to read body language.
It was then that Kaoru noticed him. Only momentarily did her eyes flicker past him in search of someone of a smaller stature, no doubt. Sano felt a sense of pride seeing how composed she stood under the obvious disappointment she must have been feeling.
After the sea-traveling quartet disembarked from the ship Sano greeted them at the docks. "Jou-chan," he grinned crookedly at her and held out his arms. Kaoru's smile answered his with no less enthusiasm as she threw herself into his waiting arms.
Laughing, Sano twirled her in an impromptu spin that left her breathless. He gave her one more tight squeeze before setting her back on her feet. Sano didn't miss the almost unperceivable twitch of Aoshi's left eye at seeing him hold Kaoru so casually. That feeling of apprehension in Sano's chest grew at seeing the ninja's reaction.
"Hey brat, I guess you couldn't stay away," Sano teased Yahiko as he gave the boy an affectionate knuckle rub on the top of his head. Sano clamped his hand briefly on Yutaro's shoulder, "Yutaro," he greeted.
Sano then turned to Aoshi and gave a brief incline of his chin in a manly greeting. "Shinomori."
"Sagara," Aoshi rejoined as he casually slipped his arm around Kaoru's shoulder and began to lead the way out of the crowd and away from the ship yard, having noted the absence of Himura.
Yahiko walked alongside Sanosuke and whispered so that Kaoru wouldn't be able to overhear. "Where's Kenshin?"
"He wasn't able to come," Sano answered. He didn't want to lie, so he figured he was mostly telling the truth. Kenshin wasn't able to come because he wouldn't put forth the effort to do so.
"Sano?" Kaoru called over her shoulder. She waited for him to catch up to her and then she slipped easily out of Aoshi's grasp. She failed to notice the move caused one of Aoshi's jaw muscles to twitch in annoyance, but Sano observed it. "Why isn't Kenshin here?"
Sano scratched his scalp uncomfortably. He hated being in this situation. He tried to keep the bitterness he felt out of his voice for when he answered. "He couldn't make it. Our boss wouldn't let us both off at the same time. So I begged to see my Jou-chan. I have missed you terribly." He smiled at her again as he slung his arm around her shoulder, recently vacated by Aoshi's arm and pulled her close in an overprotective brotherly fashion.
He leaned over to speak softly in her ear, "I'm so sorry, Jou-chan."
"It's okay," Kaoru answered in an unwavering voice, mostly able to control her emotions. Her eyes were a little glittery, but no tears would escape her hold. Maybe a sniffle or two passed through her restraint as she eased out of his arms as well.
Sano looked up in time to see the dark shadow pass over Aoshi's face when she turned to him and he noticed her glistening sapphire eyes. Aoshi placed his hand upon the small of her back and kept her close to his side.
"Yutaro had our things delivered to the inn we will be staying at," Aoshi informed Sanosuke. "Do you know of a place where we might enjoy dinner?" His voice wasn't as cold and detached as Sano remembered, but it was still far from friendly.
"Yeah, I know a pretty good place." Sano had a grin that spread from ear to ear. "It's an all you can eat buffet place!" At his proclamation Yahiko and Yutaro's eyes bulged in eagerness.
oooooOOOOOoooooOOOOOooooo
At a distance a man stood mixed in the crowd, wearing clothing that hid his unique features, namely his flame red hair. When he saw tears glistening in the eyes of the woman he loved, Kenshin wanted to run to her. But, he found that he could not.
She was so beautiful, and he was so unworthy. He would admit that he felt jealous when Sanosuke held her so familiarly and lovingly. When his best friend spun his woman in a carefree circle it caused his heart to lurch painfully in longing.
He watched with something akin to rage when Aoshi had placed his hand so possessively and casually upon the small of her back. It was as if he had the right to do such a thing. Then he boasted that right throughout the entire walk to the buffet restaurant Sano had discovered a few weeks back.
Kenshin's hand had itched towards his reverse blade sword at the vision of Aoshi with his Kaoru. He wanted to confront his so called friend but would not disrupt them for Kaoru's sake. He was loath to think of Kaoru and Aoshi as a possibility.
In spite of this he would not interrupt. He knew that Kaoru and Yahiko had looked forward to being reunited with Sanosuke. Kenshin was curious to hear about the latest Yutaro could tell him about Germany, but he would wait.
He started to walk away. Work would clear his mind. Kaoru would soon continue on her journey. It was better for her if she just forgot about him. However, Kenshin found he couldn't simply walk away. He had done that so often, but always with the belief that he could return and find Kaoru there. She was his steady rock.
He decided to follow.
He wasn't sure how long he waited outside of the restaurant before entering. He spoke briefly to the hostess and explained that he was late in meeting some friends. She escorted him to the table.
Five faces reflected shock, though in different degrees. In some it was obvious while in others a narrowing of the eyes or a tightening of the lips were the only indication. "Sessha is sorry to be late, that I am," Kenshin smiled gently at the ensemble.
"I thought you couldn't make it," Yahiko accused, feeling torn between happiness at seeing his idol and anger at being put off by the same man.
Under the table Kaoru kicked Yahiko fiercely in the shin causing him to yelp and Yutaro to crack up in laughter at his friend's expense. "Why don't you join us?" Kaoru smiled invitingly.
"Thank you, Kaoru-dono," Kenshin accepted as he took the seat across and diagonal from her. Aoshi and Sanosuke were flanking her sides while Yahiko was directly in front of her.
The waitress came by to bring the third round of the dinner for the table. Sanosuke licked his lips in anticipation, momentarily forgetting to be angry at the red haired man sitting across from him. "Dig in Kenshin," he offered as he helped himself.
Kaoru laughed at Sanosuke's poor manners and leaned closer against Aoshi to get away from the mess that was flying on her right side. Kenshin clinched his teeth as he reached for a pair of chopsticks at seeing Kaoru and Aoshi on such friendly terms.
The silence that drifted over the table was unnatural and uncomfortable. Even more unnatural, Aoshi was the one to break the silence. "I'm sure you have heard of our plans, Kenshin."
Calmly, Kenshin set aside his chop sticks and met the challenging icy stare of his new rival. "I'm sure that you will provide adequate protection for the trip to Germany," Kenshin answered.
The tension at the table was mounting and Kaoru's stomach was not happy with the latest developments.
Aoshi reached his chopsticks towards Kaoru's plate and helped himself to one of her egg rolls. He ate it while silently challenging Himura with his frigid stare. "Rest assured, nothing and no one will harm those in my care," Aoshi replied after he took a smoothing drink from his tea.
Yahiko was looking back and forth between the two warriors from the Revolution. Yutaro seemed suddenly interested in the window and Sano was choking on some chicken while Kaoru beat him on his back in an attempt to help.
"Oh God," Kaoru muttered as she placed her fist over her mouth and ran away from the table at full speed. Her stomach, the tension, and the rice all combined to create an unpleasant situation.
At the table everyone rose. "I will see to Kaoru," Kenshin announced firmly. Sano, Yahiko, and Yutaro reluctantly sat back in their seats. Aoshi crossed his arms and looked down at the red haired man menacingly for a moment before lowering himself to his seat as well.
Kenshin found Kaoru outside of the restaurant bending over a pair of bushes. Quietly, he approached from behind and lifted her long hair away from her face. Kaoru jumped in surprise at the unexpected company. Hastily, she wiped the back of hand over her mouth feeling incredibly disgusting and ruing the fact that Kenshin would be the one to see her at her worst. She was only grateful that she hadn't actually vomited anything and was only suffering dry heaves.
She ignored the little sliver of disappointment that it wasn't Aoshi there in her moment of weakness.
"What are you doing?" Kaoru asked softly.
Kenshin smiled gently at her, his violet eyes seemed full of harmless concern. "I am keeping your hair from getting in the way, that I am." Kaoru nodded but didn't have time to answer as another wave of nausea hit her. Fortunately, nothing came up.
Kenshin kneeled beside her by the bushes. "Are you alright, Kaoru-dono?"
She tried not to flinch at the 'dono' added to her name. "I'm fine, Kenshin. I'm glad that you were able to come." She turned to him, her blue eyes wide in sadness. "I've missed you. Why haven't you answered any of my letters?" Tears came to her eyes, but she didn't cry.
"Am I so unimportant to your life that once I'm out of sight I'm out of mind?" She demanded, her voice cracking with emotions.
Gently, Kenshin drew her into his arms. It wasn't the most romantic of actions to hold her beside a bush she had almost vomited under. He ignored her initial stiffening and focused on when she finally relaxed against him. He felt the cracks in his heart being sealed off with putty at the first touch of her cool tears against his warm throat.
"You know you matter a great deal to me Kaoru," Kenshin answered, opting to omit the honorific. At this moment in time he simply wanted to hold her with no regard to the future and no thoughts to the past. He could tell by the new onslaught of tears that she didn't believe him.
"I matter?" Kaoru choked. "I love you, and all you can say to me is that I matter?" She pulled back to look him in the eye. She shook her head fiercely when he looked about to speak. "No, Kenshin, I won't be abused by you. Tell me how you feel."
He opened his mouth, but words failed him. Kaoru looked like she was expecting such a reaction and rose to her feet. As she was about to walk past him he took possession of her arm to stop her. With a passion he never allowed anyone to see he pulled her into his arms.
Kaoru's heart stopped at that moment.
It started back up again when the lips of the man she loved met hers in an ardent dance. It was her first true kiss. It was the first kiss to count anyway, and the memory of all other kisses was vanquished into oblivion. Her Kenshin was kissing her.
Kenshin drew life from that kiss. If this one kiss was all he would ever have of his beloved Kaoru then he would be damned sure to make certain she remembered it for the rest of her life. His hands began to roam her delicate back and her sides. He brushed against her ribcage with his thumbs but dared not go higher no matter how much he longed.
His blood had turned to lava in his veins the moment he pulled her to him. Her jasmine scent overwhelmed him, the taste on her lips was of the hot tea she had recently consumed, and every curve of hers seemed to line against his hard body perfectly. She was his salvation.
The doctor's words about his illness and the memory of all blood on his hands were the only two things that provoked him to relinquish his hold upon her delicate, yet strong body. She was an angel, and he refused to cause her fall. He would not taint her with his sins.
"Kenshin?" Kaoru questioned breathlessly once released from the hungry man. Her eyes were dazed as she tried to process exactly what transpired. She ignored the odd sense of guilt she felt at having allowed Kenshin to betray her as she tried to ignore the thought of a pair of cold blue eyes staring at her in accusation.
"You matter," Kenshin told her firmly. "Life isn't always simple." He looked over his shoulder back at the restaurant. He could see the shadow of Shinomori in the doorframe. "I must return."
Kaoru watched him leave her once again. The man who had laid claim to her heart for the past several years was abandoning her once more and still gave no answer to her now-spoken questions. She didn't acknowledge the new presence. There was no need.
Without another look towards the retreating figure she took the offered hand of the dark haired man. He didn't say a word as he led her back to their companions to dine. He was there for her and that was enough.
Aoshi had seen and heard most of what occurred as he stood in the restaurant's doorway. He ignored what he now recognized as jealousy. He believed in closure and perhaps that was what he had witnessed. It didn't matter.
Because in the moment that Aoshi saw Kaoru being kissed passionately by another man he was able to admit his feelings to himself once and for all. He had over a month in a foreign land to help her discover that she reciprocated those feelings.
oooooOOOOOoooooOOOOOooooo
Megumi glared at the arrogant man who walked three steps in front of her. She couldn't believe that he would take the liberty of kissing her. Who did he think he was? He didn't have the right to kiss one as beautiful as she without permission. Certainly, she did not give him permission or any sort of inkling that she might be considering giving him permission.
"Woman, hurry, I haven't time to waste on pampering you," Hiko tossed over his shoulder. He had been insulting her all afternoon. She had hoped that like most men, after a kiss from her he would become speechless.
There was no such luck in that area. At least they had finally reached a village.
"I wonder if I can find some more sake here," Hiko murmured to himself. "Woman, go find us a place to board." He waved his hand dismissively towards her as he began to walk towards the local cavern.
In annoyance Megumi grabbed hold of his long white cape and yanked hard, hoping to make him stumble, only succeeding in having him turn to glare at her in aggravation.
"Look here, you arrogant old jerk, don't treat me like some sort of servant." Her dark eyes grew livid as he merely watched her with a bemused expression. "You have so much hot air in your head you should take a trip around the world in 80 days!" She shouted before releasing his cape and marching towards the nearest inn.
She would find a place to stay, but it was not because he had ordered her to do so. She was doing it because she wanted a bath and was sick of the forest and its dirt and twigs and insects.
Hiko forgot about the old comment as he focused on the latter half of her insult. "What do you mean a trip around the world in 80 days?"
Megumi was exacerbated with the drunkard. "You insufferable oaf! If you would spend less time with your bottle of liquor and more time reading literature you would know what I was talking about."
She ignored him and continued towards the inn. She was stopped by a large hand clasping on her shoulder firmly. Hiko looked down upon her with a dangerous look in his eyes. In that moment Megumi remembered exactly who her escort was and that he was indeed a dangerous man.
"I was referring a book by Jules Verne. The characters fly around the world in a hot air balloon," she explained calmly, as if trying to sooth a psychotic patient. In essence the experience would be pretty similar to her current one.
Hiko could appreciate the joke later but at that moment he didn't find it amusing. Her causal remarks about his age and his lack of intelligence were starting to put holes in his admittedly over inflated ego. He didn't care for holes in his ego.
"Make sure you get a good deal on the inn." He then released his hold upon her shoulder and watched her sashay across the street. He had to admire her attitude and her confidence but that didn't mean he would allow her to disrespect him.