There was a downpour that afternoon and he was driving back the way he had come, back down over the hills and past the buildings, back to his neighborhood. All day he had wasted looking downtown for an apartment. None of them suited him; none of them were small enough for one lonely man. All of them made him want Sam even more. He tried not to cry, because he was more angry at himself for being stupid than sad that she was gone.
Who was he kidding? His whole world was on its way to London.
And it was never coming back.
He was almost to his neighborhood when he spotted his favorite thinking place – Amity Park. His mind was flooded with childhood and adolescent memories, and he decided to stop. He parked in the tiny parking lot, turned off the engine, and opened his door to the downpour. He welcomed the humidity and the rain, letting it soak deep into his clothes and even deeper to his skin. If a breeze had reached Amity Park, it would've chilled him. His black hair stuck to his face, and he laughed, almost maniacally, like a madman. He laughed at the absurdity of his life, laughed at how upset he was, at how irreversibly in love he was.
The rain lightened a bit, and he walked hands-in-pockets toward his favorite swing-set on top of the hill. He was halfway up the small grassy mountain when he noticed a drenched silhouette already rocking a pair of the chains, slowly. He made his way up, wondering who would be crazy enough (besides him) to be out in the rain. Once at the top, he plopped down on the right swing before turning to his left to inspect his rain-dancing partner.
"Hey, what's…?" His eyes shot open, and got stung by dirty raindrops from his sopping hair. He tried to keep his jaw from dropping, and thought back to the course of the day to see if any drugs were in his system. No, he didn't ever do drugs – the person in front of him was real.
Bloodshot violet eyes met his, and flooded with fresh tears. Without thinking or asking, Danny was out of the swing and on his knees in front of Sam Manson.
"Sam, why aren't you in London right now?"
She started crying again, and started to get up from the swing, and Danny shot to his feet again, opening his arms to her. She heaved her arms around his waist and squeezed him so tight he thought he'd lose his breath. He clung to her so tightly in return he was afraid he might crush her. He stroked her wet mop of black hair and held her head to his chest, praying she couldn't feel the quickening of his pulse. They stood there like that, rocking back and forth, both crying openly. It was too much for Danny, all of the emotion of the day weighing on him like a backpack filled with boulders. And seeing Sam cry was just the crappy icing on a really bad cake.
But seeing Sam, in front of him, instead of with Jesse, broke and mended his heart all at once. The confusing flux of emotion made him cough, and she pulled away from him.
"I…" she started, yanking her wrists across her eyes and looking down. "Jesse and I had a huge fight. He asked me what I was thinking about, and I told him, and he immediately made all this false accusations… horrible things, things I would never do to him. He said that he…" she choked up again. "He said that he couldn't be with me… that if… if I could be unfaithful now… then I probably would be later." She burst into more tears. "How dare he! How dare he tell me that I was unfaithful to him, that I was… that I was…"
Her eyes stared past Danny, into the distance, and her face relaxed as if she were realizing something.
"That you were what?" Danny asked her softly.
Her eyes sheepishly met his again.
"In love with you," she added, just a hint above a whisper.
"But you're not," Danny choked, "so this will all blow over. And you'll be married by the end of the year, you know that, right? You deserve him, Sam, you really do. You deserve a guy who's open about stuff, and who loves you for who you are."
Sam laughed a little, and it sounded like a cough-choke.
"You're so adorable, Danny," she said, almost teasingly. Almost.
He blinked twice, staring at her. "I'm… adorable? Why am I adorable?"
"Because," she laughed, sitting down on the swing.
He stared at her, completely confused.
"Just push me," she said, gripping the chains with her pale hands.
"Uh… okay," he shrugged, walking behind her.
She lifted her feet, and he gave her a little push.
"Come on, Fenton," she egged him on, "tell me you're stronger than you were when we were fourteen."
"Oh, you're saying I'm weak, huh?" Danny smirked. Instead of pushing her this time, his arms slid around her waist and he yanked her out of the swing and up into the air, hoisting her up over his shoulder.
"DANNY! Danny Fenton, you stop this craziness right now!" she squealed, kicking and laughing and swatting at his head.
"Alright," he said, pretending he was going to drop her. She screamed, and he held her strongly, resting her feet gently on the ground just in time for her to smack him.
"Ow," he said to her, not even bothering to rub his shoulder.
"I told you I hate when you do that." Sam said, looking up into his eyes. It was so different from when they were younger, eye-to-eye; Danny had grown tall in the last four years of his teenage-hood, and looked down at Sam from the time they had reached their eighteenth year.
"Sorry," he said softly, smiling like a child.
They fell silent, and soon they wandered back to the swings, Sam on the left, Danny on the right. It was how they had always done it, when Tucker was busy with his million girlfriends. The guy had grown a goatee, and you'd think he was Denzel or something.
"What will you do, when I move away?" Sam asked him quietly, breaking the silence.
Danny sighed audibly. "I don't know."
"Why not?" she turned to face him.
"Why not… what?" Danny asked her.
"Why don't you know?"
"Because," he started. But he thought it would be best if he didn't finish.
"Because why." She fixed him with a stern glare, and he let out a humorless laugh.
"Because I always imagined that you and I would be around each other forever. But you and I went to different colleges; you found Jesse and a whole new future for yourself. I guess I'm just stuck in the past, that's all." He allowed a pinch of vulnerability and heartbreak escape his heart through his blue-eyed gaze before dropping it again.
"Danny…" Sam started. But she stopped. And began again, differently. She didn't dare look at him, but she continued.
"What if Jesse doesn't come back for me? What if he really is done with me? What do I do then? I planned the rest of my life around this guy I've only known for a semester."
"I told you that was stupid." Danny told her.
"You told me you planned your future around me!" Sam gaped.
"Yeah, but I've known you all my life." He allowed a smile to pull up a corner of his lips.
"Touché," she laughed a little.
"I've gotten witty, thanks to college," he laughed, too.
"Good old college," she said sarcastically. "You know, I always thought the kids in college would be sophisticated and grown-up. And do you know what I discovered?"
"What?" Danny asked her, dying for her just to speak again.
"They're all the same."
"What about Jesse?"
"Danny, you should've heard some of the things he said to me. He used language I didn't know was even a part of his vocabulary. I don't know if I could be with him even if he came back with a whole new way to sweep me off my feet."
Danny wanted to say something, but his heart was lodged threateningly between his throat and his voice box.
"Do you know what else I discovered?" She didn't let him ask what. "I discovered that the words 'I love you' felt so forced with Jesse. It was like all this conjured-up passion. I don't know if it was real at all. I feel like he was just a substitute for the…" She stopped for a moment, embarrassed that she had said a word.
"For what?" Danny asked her, laughingly expecting her next sentence.
"For the real thing."
"Who's that? Brad Pitt?"
Sam laughed and fell silent again. She looked down at her shoes, the grass, her hands, and then, reluctantly, at Danny's beautiful blue eyes.
"No, Danny," she added, "the real thing is somebody that I've known for as long as I can remember. He's got this great smile that just lights up his whole face and the rest of the room. His hair is always messy, especially when he wakes up in the morning and isn't ready for the day. His eyes are bluer than the sky in springtime, his hair is darker than dusk…"
She didn't get a chance to elaborate further. She heard the rustling of chains, and then she saw those same eyes drilling into her own, begging her to stand. Nearly entranced by the gaze, she rose from the swing and found herself in Danny's strong arms as the rain decided to pelt the ground below again. Her heart rushed to pump blood through her system as adrenaline coursed through her veins. Without warning, Danny's face was a centimeter from hers, and she closed her eyes as he pressed his lips gently against her own. She stood on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck, warmth flooding her from the top of her head to the soles of her feet, and she suddenly felt off balance. No, she was off balance, and soon she felt herself toppling forward, on top of Danny – no, falling through Danny, who had become completely transparent (literally). She shrieked as she realized that she, too, was see-through, and then rolled over instinctively as they humanized again and hit the grassy floor with a thud.
"That hasn't happened in almost five years." He looked over at her, grinning.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she mumbled breathlessly, and he just laughed. He laughed so hard and so joyfully she felt like her heart would burst open. She got up on her knees, and bent down to kiss him again. She did – on his forehead, on his nose, on both cheeks… As she drew back again he lifted himself up to sit rather than lie down, and she sat, too. Right after this, though, Danny had his fingers in her hair and was pulling her face toward his own, kissing her on the lips once, twice, three times rapidly until she was giggling at his silly way of kissing. It felt like being kissed by a small child, who had no idea what he was doing.
"You don't have much practice, do ya, sport?" she asked him, giggling harder as he rose to his knees and kissed her cheeks and forehead and hair and ear… Then he stopped kissing her, and pulled her to her feet as he rose to his own. He didn't say anything to her, he just pulled her close to him and held her so tightly she could hear his heavy heartbeat right beside her ear, just beneath his black cotton t-shirt. She felt him brush his cheek against her hair as if he were moving toward her ear, and she feared he would kiss it again and send her into fits of giggles. She was about to push him away when he started to whisper something.
"I don't care if you don't say this back," he said, his voice rising just slightly above a whisper, growing clearer with each word. "I don't care if you feel this way back, or if this scares you, or even if it pisses you off. But, Sam, I love you. I am so in love with you I don't think I could ever feel this much passion for another person in my entire lifetime – I don't think I ever will. And I know my timing sucks, and my kissing is horrible, and we've been friends forever. But if I can't have you as my very own – just mine, to take care of and to love, forever and ever, I think I'll die of loneliness."
Danny pulled away from her, hands resting in a gentle grip of her upper arms.
"What are you saying, Danny Fenton?" Sam asked him, trying not to cry again.
"I'm asking you to consider… making my future plans possible."
"Your… future plans?"
"Mmhmm."
"The ones with me always in them?"
"Those would be the ones, yes."
"Are you asking me to marry you?"
"You're planning a wedding anyway, aren't you?"
"You're so eloquent, Daniel Fenton."
"If you keep calling me that, it'll feel like I'm kissing our old teacher."
"Gross."
"Tell me about it."
Sam sighed loudly and held his arms just above his elbows. "I'll tell you one thing, Danny. This has been one of the longest and most emotionally draining days of my entire life. And a few hours ago, I hated you, and I wanted to drive to your house and just beat you until you felt as bad as I did. But then I realized… you probably already did. And I'll admit it, I did flaunt Jesse to you, and I did want you to see how happy we were together, because I've always been in love with you, and you never showed any kind of open interest in me."
Danny went to speak, but she pressed her four left fingers to his mouth, resting her thumb beside his chin.
"Let me finish. I was also very afraid of what would happen if anything… ya know, 'happened' between us. I thought about it, and wondered what would happen, and wondered if we'd be happy. But being with Jesse made me realize how much he… how much he wasn't you."
"Sam," Danny started, staring at her as his heart became a puddle.
She bit the inside of her left cheek and stared back up at him.
"I love you, Danny. With all my heart, I love you. I can't be without you another day. I want to marry you. Not Jesse, not anybody else…" she didn't get another word in edgewise, because Danny had her up in the air, spinning her in circles and laughing like a little boy.
It made her laugh, too. And she hadn't laughed much lately.
As they sat, drenched, on Sam's front steps, her left hand in Danny's right, she laughed aloud. He was tracing patterns over her knuckles, and her head was resting on his shoulder.
"I guess Jesse was right," she said softly.
"About what," Danny asked mockingly.
"That I was unfaithful to him." She smiled down at their entwined fingers.
"How can you say that? You two went everywhere together."
"No, I mean, in my heart. There was always someone else." She looked up at him, and he smiled, deep and warm. And it lit up his face, and her heart, and the whole front yard.
And she couldn't have asked for much more than that.