LotR: Gone Rum—"Random Lord of the Rings"
One dark, cloudy day, Boromir decided to take a canoe ride down the Anduin River. Legolas, who was in another canoe opposite him, accompanied him. They thought they should race to see who would get to cook in the prestigious kitchens of Minas Tirith.
The air was bursting with wonderful, sweet smells as Legolas entered the kitchen and began baking a 14-layer cake for Gimli's birthday party. Unbeknownst to him, Aragorn was peeking deviously in the window, and a cunning plan was forming in his mind.
"I've got it!" he cried, taking off his thinking cap. "We shall go to Mirkwood and try to find Legolas so we can see if he would like to talk with that old man over there. It's not every day that one sees someone of his venerability these days in Rohan…not since—" He trailed off and his eyes deepened wistfully.
"What beauty!" said Merry as he looked upon this sight. "I have never seen anything like this! Superb! Absolutely delightful!"
"'Tis a wondrous feat, to be sure," agreed Boromir, "though Faramir, that cunning little brother of mine, has done far better."
"Are you certain?" asked Gandalf skeptically, leaning slightly on the grey-smudged wall of Osgiliath. "I've seen his skill, and heartily disagree, master Boromir!"
Then, Gandalf approached Denethor and said:
"You prodigious brute! I want to go to the gargantuan corn field!"
Merry and Pippin hurriedly darted inside and hid behind the profuse of verdant green corn stalks and leaves. "Did we lose him? I think we lost him."
Just then, Frodo came sprinting forward yelling:
"No! You must not go that way! You must go to Rohan and meet up with Éomer and Faramir. They will lead you to your path to Isengard!" The first thing they discerned was an evil and stupid voice yelling:
"Defend the towers!" Then, Gandalf got into his bubble thingamabob and zapped the orc senseless.
"You're possessed, Sméagol!" cried Frodo. "I've never seen you so ugly!" Sméagol frowned, hissed at Frodo, and got plastic surgery.
Finis