Chap 2
Anya POV
It had been easy enough to get the note in his locker unseen, but what I hadn't thought of was how do I know if he got it. Now I'm filled with anxiety of waiting in the stairwell alone if he never got my note. The alternative being he saw it and trashed it immediately, not caring.
Ugh why did I curse myself like this? I should've just handed it to him myself. But didn't want him to feel the need to have to be hard in front of his friends. I have a feeling he's different when they aren't around. I just need to separate him from them to figure out what makes him tick.
I tried to get a read on him in class but he always sat in the back and it's hard for me to focus on his mind without looking directly at him. But when I glanced at him I couldn't help but admire how much he'd grown over the summer. He was a bit taller and leaner, and his hazel eyes more mature, losing their baby look around them, his jaw sharper. It being mid day I see the beginnings of some stubble returning to his face. My mouth suddenly felt dry as I turned my attention back to the board before he could notice I was looking at him for long.
Trying to focus on the assignment but my thoughts are racing with what I'm actually going to say. I actually hadn't thought about the details of the conversation, just the outcome I wanted. Crap.
He's not going to go to the party for no reason. I need to try and find a reason he'll go. But it's too late for that, I'm going to have to make it up as I go.
After the last period before lunch ended I glanced at him and he made no notion of my existence. His hazel eyes focused on packing his bag as he chatted with his friends about their summers.
Becky mentions something about going to eat her lunch in the study hall so she can sext and be naughty in there. But I tell her I'm going to the courtyard to meet up with someone anyway. Not wanting her to know my real location in case she wants to spy on me. Don't trust anyone, it's the rule of spies.
I inhaled deeply and stepped with determination as I made a pit stop at my locker, swapping my books for the next period. Quickly scribbling my phone number on a piece of paper, fixing my hair and clothes in the mirror, and closing my locker quickly as I made my way against the crowd heading to the cafe, internally chanting. Channel my inner spy.
The stairwell was dark and quiet since most of the school is on the other side of it eating before next period. Most of the faculty are on the second floor across on breaks most likely. That this is as private as I can get on short notice. I should have more than enough time to talk to him if all goes well, if he turns up at all.
Faintly, I hear the door open and footsteps enter the stairwell. Unsure if he was alone I hid in the shadows, baiting him to come all the way down before revealing I'm here. He's not in full view yet but I can feel the trickle of his thoughts as he gets closer. He's nervous as well but more confused. I don't feel the thoughts or presence of anyone else so I take a step forward as he reaches the last step. He flinched slightly at my approach and I took a step back "Damian" I said more breathless than I anticipated.
He puts his hands in his pockets and steps down facing me already putting up his walls, "what did you want, pinky."
I scrunch my nose at the nickname. Remembering all the pranks at my expense over the years, that made getting close to him difficult. Instinctively I want to yell at him and swing on him, but I need to put it aside for the mission. I need to warm my way up into asking, instead of going straight for it like I used to.
"Thank you for coming." I say folding my hands together and rising on my toes feeling a bit insecure of our difference in height. He turns his head toward the left facing the darkness where I can't really make out his features for a reaction.
The best thing I can ask for before inviting him to the party is for him to stop picking on me. I've learned how to defend myself and the last thing papa needs is for us to fight.
"Can we call a truce this year?" I say hopefulness in my voice. Looking up at him with a slightly pleading look. It would be easiest to navigate if he were to agree to a truce, especially it being our last year.
He looked at me with little emotion showing on his face as he said slowly "why should I?"
He thinks I have an angle which I do but I can't make it obvious. I should've known it wouldn't be that easy, but I need to find a reason why. I try to peek into his mind but I'm also trying to think of a reply.
He feels open to the idea but I don't know what would make him agree to it. I feel butterflies in my chest as his feelings are poured into me telepathically as I focus on him. I look at his face, focusing my powers into him and I feel a surge of his emotions as I try to filter what I can use.
He looks at me, his gaze intense but his eyes are hopeful.
She's beautiful. I missed her. I blush at his thoughts of me. When I realize I never pushed into Damian like this to know what he's thinking or feeling. With him it feels very… intrusive.
Damian's always had it hard in his life. It's hard not to notice how much he gives to his family and gets very little recognition in return. I feel so bad for him, all he wants is to be loved.
My heart lurches as his gaze softens looking at me awaiting a reply. I fumble when I realize what I need to do.
"Because I l-like you." I say not as confident as I wanted but hoped it still landed. My own heart racing; it was hard to focus on his thoughts as I was so deep in my own thoughts.
He grunted as if he didn't believe it, and turned to go back up the stairs.
"Wait Damian, please hear me out." I reached out and caught his elbow before he could go up a step.
Trying to hold my emotions together I lower my head as I say "I wanted to call truce and invite you to go to Becky's party…with me. We can just talk, that's all." I can feel the shock without even looking at him, color rising to his cheeks.
"You know Becky won't want me there" lifting my gaze to his, I was a bit shocked it wasn't an out right no. But I can feel his indecision lingering between us through his thoughts. Taking advantage of the moment I step forward, his cologne fills my senses with a refined musky scent. My heart races as I look up at him, my hand still on his arm as I invade his space.
"Good thing you'll be with her best friend then." I reply sweetly.
For a moment he doesn't respond and part of me is afraid to invade his thoughts to see if I made a fool of myself. Did I fail already? On day one?
"Just you. Not your cronies." I added removing my hand and stepping around him and up a step so we were level with each other.
Trickles of excitement and lust flow through his mind into mine. I feel my face warm considerably, as his thoughts took a sharp left. Has he always felt like this?
Before I lost my nerve I grabbed the paper from my backpack with my phone number on it, tucking it in his suit jacket pocket then patting it and leaving my hand resting there a moment longer than normal. Under my hand he was firm and his scent wrapped around me so that it made my heart beat faster. Get it under control Anya.
"Let me know by Friday if you want to come with me…okay?" I say with a smile that hurts my cheeks trying to hide my nerves. I turned and went up the stairs as I felt my resolve withering. I go up the extra flight of stairs and into the hallway knowing he'll go through the floor below back to the lunch room.
I exhale deeply after a minute I hear the door to the floor below open and close. My heart is beating out of my chest as I replay the encounter over and over.
Still trying to remember all the feelings and thoughts that he had. I don't know it felt so easy reading other people's minds, but with Damian he's so guarded. His actions at times don't match what he says or thinks. He's confusing, which is going to be harder than I thought.
But now that this is set in motion, I just have to ask Papa to go.
On Wednesday I came home from school and asked Papa for permission to go to the party and sleep over at Becky's house. He wasn't really liking the idea of the sleepover, but knowing him I know he'll be close by regardless. Especially since I hinted that Damian would be there, even though he never called or texted he would come with me. I still held out hope that he wasn't totally dismissing me.
Which I'm not going to lie, has me already feeling a bit defeated.
Papa followed up the permission with a grossly long lecture about drugs and alcohol. Even showing me an experiment on how you can tell if a drink has been spiked. Which was very detailed especially when I listen in on the things he wishes he could tell me but doesn't. If only he knew I was getting the information anyway. He told me to always go for flat drinks, so it's more noticeable if something was put in and gives off bubbles or makes the drink cloudy. But also be aware of people who would take advantage of you if you're not careful.
In moments like these I really appreciate my papa, he truly cares about me. Even if one day he's gone he knows I'll remember these moments with him forever.
Unfortunately, Mom had a talk with me about boys and sex. Which I understand since we're at that age, but I had sex education in like 7th grade. Not that I ever engaged in any myself, but the way mama talked about it was a bit cringey especially the part about blood she harped on about. Sounds like it hurts, but in a good way? I don't get it.
I lie in bed thinking about the party and trying to think of all the different scenarios that could happen. Being friends with Becky gives me the advantage since I know what to generally expect of the party. But the unknown variable has always been Damian.
Most of the guys at the school don't think of me like that since I'm not an Elite, even if I'm an Imperial Scholar. No matter how hard I worked I would never be accepted. Other than Becky of course. But my mind goes back to Damian, a blush on my cheeks knowing that he thinks I'm beautiful.
It shouldn't make me feel special but it does, especially from him. He's always so cold and callous at times. I start to wonder if he does find beauty in the world; or if life has scorned him so badly, that he's blind to the good things around him. It makes me ache wondering if even though he's surrounded by all those people that he's not really happy.