A/N: unspoken-dream and icklebitodd, thank you so much for your comments! I hope you like this chapter! And hmm… I'm thinking of changing the title of this story back to what it originally was ("The View From Above"). I got rid of the first title, when only one chapter mentioned Joan. Now it kind of fits again!
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Disclaimer: I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS. For more detail on Matthew and Sara's life in foster care, check out QuoththeRaven's "The Life & Times of Sara Sidle." With her permission, I have begun to incorporate her interpretation of Sara's childhood into most of my stories.
Title: The Planetarium: Part 6
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Sofia, her head buried in a report, barely noticed Sara as she ran past her. If it hadn't been for the loud sobs emanating from the other woman, Sofia probably wouldn't have even noticed her at all. "Sara…?" the criminalist turned detective asked. But Sara ignored her, continuing her path down the hallway. Sofia turned around, taking a step toward where Sara had just disappeared, but stopped herself. Although she and Sara were currently getting along, they still were not the best of friends. Sara seemed to need someone to talk to, and Sofia realized that she was probably not that person.
Heading toward the break room, Sofia smiled, as she saw Nick and Catherine sitting at the table, drinking coffee. "Hey," she said to them, putting her file down. "Sara just ran that way," she pointed down the hallway, "And I think that she really needs a friend right about now. One of you should probably go after her."
"What happened?" Nick asked, setting his cup aside.
Sofia shrugged. "I don't know. She just ran past me, and she was crying."
Catherine sighed, setting her own cup aside. "She seemed upset before, too," she told her colleagues. "I wonder what's going on…"
"It's got to be the case that she's working on," Nick replied. "The one with the kid. I don't know, though," he frowned, pushing his chair back, and standing up. "But maybe I should go and see her?"
"You can try," Catherine told him. "But I asked her how she was doing before, and she didn't seem as if she wanted to talk about it…"
Nick nodded, heading toward the door. "Well, I'll give it a try. Thanks, Sofia," he said to the detective, as he began his search of the lab for Sara.
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After leaving Grissom's office, Sara took off down the hallway, the tears streaming down her cheeks. She was so embarrassed that she had allowed her boss to see her cry, and she was mortified that she was running around the lab in such a distressed state. What if someone sees me? she thought to herself, as she looked for a semi-private place to collect herself. So distraught, Sara didn't even notice Sofia as she ran past her in the hallway. She didn't hear her name being called out, as she just kept on going.
"Sara, stop!" Joan tried to shout out. But Sara was just too fast, and… Joan's voice was just too quiet.
Making a right at the nearest hallway junction, Sara sighed, as she made her way to one of the back science labs. Noting the broken car in the middle of the room, she again sighed, leaning against the furthest corner. Sliding down to the ground, Sara pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her head on her knees. What was going on with her? Why was Patrick affecting her so badly? Was it because he was such a young kid, and almost alone in the world? Was it because his father was dead, and that he did not seem to trust his mother?
Sara felt so unsure of herself… after her mother had killed her father, and she had been forced to enter foster care, her entire life had changed. Not only had she been known as the girl whose mother killed her father, but she became known as the girl who was raped by her own foster brother; a lot to deal with, for such a young kid. A lot for anyone to deal with, for that matter.
Lost in her own thoughts, Sara didn't hear anyone else enter the lab, until Nick was standing just in front of her. "Sara?" he quietly asked, kneeling down in front of her. "Are you… okay?" he murmured.
Sara just stared at him. Did it look like she was okay?
"I heard that you came this way…" he tried again. Actually, it took a small bit of detective work on his part to retrace Sara's steps. Luckily enough for him, though, a couple of people saw her run past them. "And… I heard that you looked upset…"
Sara turned a tear-stained face to him, and cracked a small smile. "I'm okay…"
"No you aren't," Nick countered, finally sitting Indian-style on the ground, just in front of her. Leaning his elbow on his knees, he said, "You look like something's bugging you. So… what's going on?" he asked her.
Sara sighed. "I don't know, Nick. Patrick is just… he reminds me of… me…"
Nick didn't say anything, keeping his gaze on Sara.
Sara really didn't want to get into her past with Nick, but… he wouldn't leave her alone, and… "When I was younger, well… I didn't have the best childhood," she finally admitted. "My father was a bit of a drunk, and my mother… didn't do anything to… protect me…"
"From your father?" Nick cautiously probed.
Sara just nodded. "He used to come home and beat my mother… or me… or both of us… and he used to… touch me… until…"
Nick reached a hand out to Sara, gently placing it on her knee. Moving closer to her, he locked eyes with her, telling her that he was still listening.
"Until… she killed him one night." Inwardly, Nick was shocked. Outwardly, he remained calm and still. "She killed him, and I was taken into foster care… while I was living with my foster parents, my foster brother… raped me… twice," she finally whispered, the tears beginning to fall again.
"Oh, Sar," Nick mumbled, as he leaned over to take her in his arms. "I'm so sorry…" he told her, moving to sit next to her so that he could hold her more easily. Sara let herself be held, as she pressed her head against Nick's neck, crying. "I had no idea…" he said.
While she cried, Nick continued to gently hold Sara in his arms, soothingly running his fingers through her hair… much like she had held Patrick while he had cried. Sara was still embarrassed that she was reacting like this in front of her friend and colleague, but… she felt totally safe and secure in Nick's arms, which only made her want to cry even more; which she did, until she had no more tears to cry.
"So…" Nick finally said, smoothing back her hair. "Patrick's situation is making you remember your own…" Sara nodded. "Then you have to finish this case, Sara. You need to give him closure… so that he can move forward…" And so can you…
Sara nodded again. "I know," she sighed. "He should be here any moment with his mother… I think I'm going to stay out of the interview room, but… I want to see it…" she admitted, pulling out of Nick's arms. Then, "Thank you. I'm sorry that you had to see that, but thank you…"
Nick flashed Sara a small smile, before saying, "It wasn't a problem…Anytime. And… we'll talk later, okay? Once your case is over with?"
Sara nodded, before leaving to find Brass and Grissom.
Nice job, Nick! Joan thought to herself, standing just inside of the room. I couldn't have done it any better myself!
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TO BE CONTINUED