Chapter 38
Katherine---Kitty, that is!---smiled again as she moved back and forth upon the stage, cagily taking a look at the clock. It told her that she had time for a couple more songs yet. And, that being the case, our cleverly disguised vixen stopped her staged pacing, and moved to center stage and forward toward her pleased audience. "I am so pleased to have such a wonderful audience this evening," Katherine said, giving them a quick thankful curtsy. Their applause made the little vixen smile broadly. "Unfortunately, my friends, I have enough time remaining tonight for only two more songs…"
The audience groaned softly, not wanting their time with the clever entertainer to end just yet.
"Now now…c'mon, don't worry, my friends," Katherine told them with a clever grin. "I've spoken with Jean-Pierre, and he's most graciously offered me the opportunity to sing here every Friday evening from now on…er, and as long as my other boss doesn't figure out that I'm moonlighting, that is…"
The crowd broke into a round of rousing cheering, which left Katherine smiling and blushing. "You are all far too kind," she protested…though very weakly.
"Now…in a token of my gratitude to our host, Jean-Pierre, for his allowing me the opportunity to sing here, I would like to dedicate this next song to my newest boss. Please, a round of applause for your magnificent host! Let's hear it for Jean-Pierre!" Katherine tucked her microphone under her arm and led the audience in an enthusiastic round of applause for the proprietor of Le Bistro Bourgeot.
Jean-Pierre bowed solicitiously and even got to his feet to wave to his patrons, his cheeks pink from his most surprised pleasure. "Merci. Merci beaucoup…one and all!" he called out before re-taking his seat.
One energetic young anonymous woman called out, "What are you doing later, handsome?"
Katherine---as well as many others---laughed at Jean-Pierre's blush turned nearly scarlet under his snowy-white fur. "Careful now, ladies," Katherine cleverly cautioned. "Our Jean-Pierre is indeed a handsome devil…but, alas for all you girls out there, his heart's already taken. Yep, by none other than your own Mistress of Ceremonies, the lovely Paulette!" Katherine searched the crowd and spotted Paulette seated beside Jean-Pierre. "In fact, gals…she's already right where you'd expect her to be. See?" The spotlight that had been on Katherine moved over to spotlight the clearly surprised Paulette, seated beside Jean-Pierre, who being a gentleman, stood up to shield her from the attention. "Aw, what a couple, huh, folks? Let's hear it for Jean-Pierre and his Paulette, all right?"
The crowd rose to their feet, applauding them happily. Jean-Pierre glared a moment, then shrugged and wanly smiled. He then turned to help Paulette to her feet, then took her hand and raised it to his lips to kiss the back of it. He then smiled at the shyly smiling Paulette, and then both of them bowed and re-took their seats.
"Thanks, Boss," Katherine commented roguishly, which elicited a laugh from Jean-Pierre himself. "Now, this next song isn't the most romantic one, I'll grant you…but, trust me…you'll find it appropriate."
Katherine turned towards the string quartet, who now had somehow added a couple of trumpet players. "Okay, fellas….hit it," she instructed, and they began to play the intro to her song. Katherine smiled, then began to sing:
Ma cher Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride
and greatest pleasure, that we welcome you tonight.
And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a
chair as the dining room proudly presents -
your dinner!
Be our guest! Be our guest!
Put our service to the test.
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cheri,
and we'll provide the rest
Soup du jour,
Hot hors d'oeuvres,
why, we only live to serve!
Try the grey stuff,
It's delicious!
Don't believe me? Ask the dishes!
They can sing, they can dance,
after all, Miss, this is France!
The crowd laughed at that!
And a dinner here is never second-best!
Go on, unfold your menu,
take a glance, and then you'll
Be our guest,
Oui, our guest,
Be our guest!
Beef ragout,
Cheese soufflé,
Pie and pudding 'en flambe'!
We'll prepare and serve with flair,
A culinary cabaret!
You're alone,
And you're scared,
But the banquet's all prepared!
No one's gloomy or complaining,
while the flatware's entertaining!
We tell jokes! I do tricks
with my fellow candlesticks!
And it's all in perfect taste,
that you can bet!
Come on and lift your glass,
you've won your own free pass
To be out guest.
If you're stressed,
It's fine dining we suggest.
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
It's a guest! It's a guest!
Sakes alive, well, I'll be blessed!
Wine's been poured, and thank the Lord
I've had the napkins freshly pressed!
With dessert, she'll want tea,
And, my dear, that's fine with me
While the cups do their soft-shoein'
I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing!
I'll get warm, piping hot,
Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot?
Clean it up! We want the company impressed!
We've got a lot to do!
Is it one lump or two?
For you, our guest!
She's our guest!
She's our guest!
She's our guest!
Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!
Life is so unnerving,
For a servant who's not serving,
He's not whole, without a soul to wait upon.
Ah, those good old days when we were useful...
Suddenly, those good old days are gone
Ten years we've been rusting,
Needing so much more than dusting,
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills!
Most days we just lay around the castle,
Flabby, fat and lazy,
You walked in and oops-a-daisy!
Be our guest! Be our guest!
Our command is your request!
It's been years since we've had anybody here,
and we're obsessed…
With your meal, with your ease,
Yes, indeed, we aim to please!
While the candlelight's still glowing,
Let us help you, We'll keep going,
Course by course, one by one,
'Til you shout, 'Enough! I'm done!'
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest!
Tonight you'll prop your feet up,
But for now, let's eat up!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Please, be our guest!
Katherine ended this song of hers nearly out of breath, but glowing and smiling. The crowd erupted into an amused round of cheery applause. The busy wait staff of Le Bistro Bourgeot, conscientious one and all, all laughed and as hurriedly as they could freed their hands up so that they too could applaud. Katherine blushed at their ovation, bowing yet again and repeatedly until the crowd's zeal finally abated. "Thanks! Er, I mean, merci," Katherine replied to them all, still softly blushing. "Okay, folks…I'm noticing that I've only got time left for one more song." She held up a hand to forestall any interruptions. "…and, as that's the case, I'll allow a request from anyone in the audience."
The crowd softly buzzed with conversation, as the patrons dining there this evening tried to figure out what to do.
Katherine smiled, then beckoned a bit sultrily with her adoring crowd. "C'mon! I know that one of you have a special song they'd like me to sing? Hurry it up, people…time's a-waistin'!"
Sly smiled, then nodded to himself, knowing precisely what to do. He grinned even wider and beckoned the nearest waitress over, so that he could whisper his request into the zebra woman's twitching ear. "Got that?" he asked her softly.
The waitress grinned over at Sly, then nodded. She then headed purposefully toward the stage, and then up to where a very curious Katherine stood waiting. The waitress then leaned close and whispered the odd request she had received.
Meanwhile, Carmelita eyed her beau just a bit suspiciously. "Okay, Ringtail…what are you up to, mister?" she demanded.
"Oh, you'll see soon enough, querera," Sly promised, smiling over dashingly at his overly suspicious lady love.
"Ooh, that's a good one," Katherine opined, then thoughtfully thanked the woman, who departed the stage. Once she was alone again, Katherine readdressed her audience. "Okay, folks... it seems that some anonymous gentleman in the audience would like for me to sing a song called 'Kiss the Girl'."
"Sly Cooper!" Carmelita hissed as she caught the title of the song Sly had requested. "Ooh, you are such a flirt, buster!"
Sly quieted her a bit after that with a full-power kiss that left Carmelita very glad she was sitting down.
"Hey, no cheating!" Kitty chided the raccoon and his lovely vixen companion. An appreciative soft laughter filled the room, then the crowd settled in to hear Katherine's final song…whatever it might be.
Katherine smiled softly to herself, arching one dark brow briefly. For, Katherine had seen Sly talking to the waitress only moments before. "Eh, who am I to disagree. 'Kiss the Girl' it is!" she said laughing, a pleasant amused laugh. And so, request in hand---so to speak---she began her final song of the evening:
There you see her,
sitting there across the way.
She don't got a lot to say,
But there's something about her.
And you don't know why,
But you're dying to try,
You wanna
Kiss the girl!
Yes, you want her.
Look at her, you know you do.
Possible she wants you too.
There is one way to ask her.
It don't take a word,
Not a single word, go on and
Kiss the Girl!
Sha la la la la la!
My oh my!
Look like the boy's too shy.
He ain't gonna kiss the girl!
Sha la la la la la!
Ain't that sad?
Ain't it a shame, too bad.
You're gonna miss the girl.
Now's your moment
(ya ya)
Floating in a blue lagoon
(ya ya ya)
Boy, you better do it soon
No time will be better
(ya ya ya ya ya)
She don't say a word
And she won't say a word until you
kiss the girl!
Sha la la la la la!
Don't be scared,
You've got the mood prepared,
Go on and kiss the girl (woah-woah!)
Sha la la la la la!
Don't stop now!
Don't try to hide it how,
you wanna kiss the girl (woah-woah!)
Sha la la la la la!
Float along, and listen to the song.
The song say, kiss the girl (woah-woah!)
Sha la la la la!
The music play,
Do what the music say,
You gotta kiss the girl!
You gotta, kiss the girl!
Katherine ended her song with her hands clasped together against her cheek, her long-lashed eyes a-flutter, a silly grin on her face. The crowd burst into applause, which only became greater when Alexandre reappeared off-stage and dashed over to match words to action and promptly kissed a dutifully surprised Katherine upon her tingling lips.
The crowd cheered, then whooped as Kitty and Ling's (heck, who am I trying to fool here, huh?) kiss lingered on and on. Ling finally broke off his kiss to gaze softly into Kitty's eyes, which fluttered open. She smiled at her fella, and they both linked hands and then raised them above their heads, then bowed once more for the benefit of their cheering audience.
It was then that Paulette---as Mistress of Ceremonies, remember? ---re-took the stage and smiled. "Monsieurs and Mademoiselles…Katherine Stordahlen! Is she not wonderful?" Paulette observed to one and all. The crowd's demonstrative applause gave her her answer. Paulette then moved off-stage a moment, then re-appeared, now holding a large bouquet of lovely pink roses, which she handed over to Kitty with a smile, then a thankful kiss on each of the little vixen's cheeks.
"Merci! Merci to you all!" Kitty proclaimed, blowing a kiss to her appreciative audience. She then turned toward them again, and made a quieting gesture. "Please! Could I have your attention for one moment longer?"
Her audience reluctantly quieted after a while, and re-took their seats. Kitty then moved forward again---Ling by her side---and gazed out at them all. "Thank you. Now, first of all, I would like to thank all of you for being such a kind and gracious audience," Kitty said, then paused, and continued. "A couple of last-minute items for you all before we leave for the evening. First, I know two people in this very room---well, more than just them, but never mind that!--- I've watched these two all night long. They do know me….alas, but they don't recognize me at this moment. Please allow me to say that I hope these special two will be deliriously and most deservedly happy as they are this night forever into the future."
The sentimentalists in the crowd again 'aww'-ed to Kitty's proclaimation, many of the crowd searching around for this 'mystery' couple.
"Just to show these friends of mine I'm on to them…allow me to merely say to the woman…I just love your wig, lady," Kitty announced, her green eyes laughing. The crowd laughed a bit nervously and softly, still at a loss as to whom Kitty was referring to. Kitty then continued. "My other hint to the lovely couple: do tell our mutual friend that I'll be at your doorstep tomorrow promptly at eight!" Kitty then laughed, and gestured at her clothing dramatically. "Just don't expect me to look like this, okay?"
"Mon Dieu!" Naomi gasped, as she adroitly put two and two together herself.
"Huh?" Murray asked his lady love, whose amber eyes were huge right at that moment. "Naomi? Sweetie? Are you okay?"
There were similar reactions at all the tables where the extended Cooper Gang sat…with the notable exception of Sly himself, of course. The clever raccoon Master Thief had figured that particular riddle out long ago.
It was the lovely---yet disguised---Yuri Sing that finally put it into words, however. "Bentley, cher!" she gasped out loud. "We have been listening to our very own Kitty and Ling sing to us all evening long!" Yuri was flabbergasted!
"Well, I'll be, babe," Bentley observed after blinking his eyes a couple of times. "I guess we have at that. Hey, I guess we finally figured out why those two looked so familiar, huh?"
"Indeed, mon cher. Indeed," Yuri agreed, even as she looked up and saw Kitty give her a small smile and a wink. Yuri could only laugh, and then blow a kiss up to her devilishly clever friend.
"Well, folks," Kitty told them all. "Good night, everyone…and best of luck to you, my friend!" Kitty---with Ling in tow, of course---scampered down off-stage and disappeared.
Yuri frowned at Kitty's rather cryptic remark, then looked oddly over at Bentley, her blue eyes confused. "Hmm…I wonder what that scamp meant by that?" Yuri inquired, rubbing her chin idly in curiosity.
Bentley sweated bullets on the inside, but somehow managed to keep somewhat cool on the exterior. "Er, umm…hey, it's Kitty, babe…like I would have any idea, you know? Eh, ahem…you about ready to go, sweetheart?" Bentley asked as he helped Yuri on with her coat.
"Oui, I am ready, cher," Yuri replied, her expression brightening as her beau thoughtfully helped her on with her coat…no easy task for a pregnant lady.
Now, Bentley mused within his own head, comes the hard part. He smiled as adoringly as he could at his Yuri as she faced him. "Great!" he told her. "Then, let's go, shall we?"