I crawled into bed that evening, playing with the necklace Tariq sent. It sent me back to our youths and when I can first remember him. When we started speaking, neither one of us could pronounce the other's name, so the nicknames CiCi and Riqy were born. There are times we still call each other by those old nicknames. Our families do.

My first memory of Tariq is at his fourth birthday party. He was crying because he didn't get the HE-MAN toy he wanted. He gets embarrassed when we speak of it. Like DAWSON'S CREEK, he doesn't admit to being a HE-MAN fan when he was a kid. What I remember about that day is how we held hands a lot during the party and it was obvious we were best friends.

I then thought of grade school and how Tariq was a hit with the young ladies. Through it all, he remained my best friend. As we approached High School, he grew up a little and by the time we graduated, I realised that I didn't want anyone other than Tariq. As I played with the necklace, I prayed he'd be kept safe and come home to me; to our families.

I was lost in sleep when I heard my cell phone ringing. I silently cursed as I reached for it. "Hello?" I answered sleepily.

"Merry Christmas, Joey."

"Tariq!" I gasped.

"I know it's way too early there...but this was the only shot I'd have to call you. Everyone wants to call home today and I know how much Christmas means to you and I..."

"I'm glad to hear your voice." I wiped a tear from my eye.

"You okay?" His voice became concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just had a nightmare." I whispered.

"What about?"

"You."

"Me?" He sounded more than surprised.

"Yeah. I dreamt that you were ambushed." I tried to hold the tears back. "It was so real, Riqy, that it's..."

"We did get ambushed."

"RIQY!" I yelled, forgetting the time and where I was.

"Don't worry. The only thing hurt was the truck. Smoke got a scratch on his forearm, but that's the extent of injuries. We're all okay."

I sighed. "Why did I dream it?"

"I don't know, CiCi. I really don't know. I'm sorry for waking you up, but getting phone time here is getting tough."

"Tariq, don't EVER worry about waking me up. You're important to me and I'm here for you always, whether you're over there or over here." I brushed my hair off my face.

"I know. I've gotta go now. I love you."

"You too."

"Enjoy your holiday with your family."

"I will. You just come home safe."

"I will. I promise you. I will come home to you."

I wanted for him to hang up. Did he tell me he loved me? How did he mean it? Should I have told him that I loved him too? I pulled the pillow over my eyes and hope that I didn't screw anything up.

I laid in bed for what seemed like forever before I smelled the bacon and eggs. I wearily crawled out of bed and saw Grappa in the kitchen. "Morning, Grappy." I smiled as best as I could.

"Tariq called you, didn't he?" Grappa never turned his attention from the bacon, but I knew he was smiling.

"Yeah, why?" I hopped up on the counter.

"The whole house heard ye yell 'RIQY!'" Grappa laughed. "Fortunately for us, we were all able to fall asleep again." He looked at me. "But, by the looks of ye, doesn't look like you were able to."

"He told me he loved me."

Grappa smiled at me. "Next time listen to your family. We've been tellin' ye for years that boy loves you."

"But always as a best friend." I quietly argued back.

"Best friend me arse." Grappa turned the bacon over. "He asked many a time why you never looked in his direction. Boy's been in love with you for as long as he could walk."

"But, why does he tell me now?" I whimpered.

"War will do that. Maybe he feels if he doesn't tell you now, he may never get the shot and, God forbid, he die over there, he'll die knowing that he told you. Now, did you tell him that you loved him?"

"No. I wasn't sure..."

"CIARA MAIREAD ERYN!" He yelled. "He put his heart out there for you and you don't tell him that he is the treasure of your heart? Mo cara, you'll only find on anam cara and he's it."

I sighed. "I know, Grappy. But I wasn't sure how he meant it." I felt the tears forming. "What if..."

"There's a computer. Email him." Grappa turned his attention back to the bacon.

I hopped off the counter. "Grappy?"

"Yes, cara?"

"Gráim thú ."

"I love you too, mo cara. Now, go tell Riqy."

I sleepily made my way into the computer room. I sat, wondering what I should say. When I opened up my email to email Tariq, I found one from him waiting.

Ciara, I won't pretend that this is the easiest thing for me to say. I know we're best friends and all, but when I said I love you, I didn't mean it in that way. Since I can remember, I have loved you and have never said anything b/c of the friendship we share. I know you don't feel the same for me (at least I don't think you do), but I had to tell you. I hope that you will write back. With all my heart, Tariq

I held back the tears and felt my heart jump. So he did feel for me what I felt for him. I hit 'reply'. Darling Riqy, how can I not love you back? You're everything to me. Like you, I've never said anything b/c I didn't want to lose the friendship. Riqy...there is no one else for me and I want you to know that. I don't remember exactly when I fell in love with you. All I know is that I do. I want you to come home safe to me, Riqy. I never thanked you for the necklace. It's lovely and some my DVD to you pales in comparison. Write me soon, Riqy. Le grá go deo...Ciara

I bounded back into the kitchen and saw Gramma standing next to Grappa helping to set the table.

"Morning, Gramma." I hugged her.

"Morning, cara. How's Riqy?"

"He's fine, seanmháthair." I tried as much as I could to speak the Gaelic my grandparents and father taught me growing up. Gramma smiled at me. "He called this morning."

"Aye. So your seanathair tells me. And he told me that Riqy said he loved you and, cara, you didn't say anything back." She pursed her lips in disapproval.

"Now, that's the funny thing, Gramma. I told Grappa about it and he told me to email Riqy. I get on and there's an email from him. He told me it wasn't in the best friend sort of way. That he loved me for as long as he could remember."

"And?" Gramma prodded.

"I emailed him back."

"Cara! Don't leave us like this." Grappa teased. "What did you say to him?"

"I told him that I don't remember when I fell in love with him. I just know that I am." I smiled.

Gramma clasped her hands together. "With two different cultures and religions combing, how will this be perfectly arranged?" Her eyes sparkled and shone and I could see her planning a wedding right there in their kitchen.

"Don't get too excited, seanmháthair. We've only told each other of our love. Doesn't mean anything will happen." I tried to reason.

Gramma would not listen. "Look at the necklace he bought ye. That is something you give when you want someone. And your mother told me of the ring his mother gave you. No woman does that if she's not expecting something grand to happen." She kissed my cheek and cupped my face in her hands. Looking me in the eye, she said "Don't let him go."

I smiled. "Only by death."