New Devil of The Gremory House

Life 10: Samaritan

Kuroka, Rossweisse, Great Red, Ophis, Juggernaut Drive

I like this new season.

And not just because I finally got to see Kuroka in her full, uncensored, naked glory.

||||||||Devil||||||||

Naruto followed along at his own pace while thinking intently on what Issei had been explaining to him. He raised an eyebrow inquisitively, "So what do we do if these clients ask us to do something we can't accomplish? I mean if they need help moving or walking their dogs then I can help but if they want immortality or a million yen I can't really do much about that."

"Well if it's something impossible like that then you just have to tell them you can't grant impossible wishes. That being said, we have to at least try our best to fulfill wishes if they're in our power." Issei reassured Naruto as they walked up the apartment complex.

Naruto shrugged, "Yeah, I guess that makes sense." He agreed before looking at the younger boy and asking, "So, how many of these things have you done?"

"Me?" Issei stopped and contemplated for a moment before he found an answer, "Well, I've done this a few times since I was reincarnated. About a dozen-give or take."

"So what do these guys usually ask for?"

Issei rubbed his chin in thought, "Well the requests are usually pretty varied but they're simple stuff. Kiba usually gets asked by pretty older ladies to make them dinner for the night. Akeno-San sometimes gets called to give massages and back-rubs to businessmen and CEOs."

Naruto grimaced, "That sounds like they're trying to get something else from her."

Issei gave a complicated look, "Believe me, Asia and I saw her do her work. If anything she just toys with them in the palm of her hand." Issei dropped the weird expression and they came to the level of the complex they were called to, "I really only have two regular customers. Actually, that's not totally true either because Morisawa-San was Koneko-chan's regular before I started taking his requests too. He's an Otaku, but he's actually a pretty cool guy. Me and him play fighting games most of the time and he's the only guy I know that probably likes Dragon Ball more than me."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "The Dragon's-what?"

"Dragon Ball." Issei stated obviously before looking back to see Naruto's baffled expression. Issei looked at him in shock, "Dragon Ball? Son Goku-San? Super Saiyans? The Kamehameha-tell me you know what I'm talking about!"

"All I got out of that was Son Goku. Everything else..." Naruto raised his hand over his head and started waving it around, "No idea."

"Holy shit! How could you not know what Dragon Ball is?!" Issei was completely stunned by this revelation as Naruto just leaned back at the sudden energy the brown-haired boy showed for something other than boobs.

Naruto questioned, "Why? Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters!" Issei refuted, catching Naruto by surprise before he continued, "Every kid our age grew up watching Son Goku-San kick ass! T-that's like saying you've never even heard of One Piece! Or Pokémon! Or Doraemon! Or Lupin! Or Gundam! Or Evangelion!"

Naruto blinked before he looked away, "U-ummm-"

"Oh tell me you're fucking joking!"

"I've heard of Gundam!" Naruto defended himself before having to look away again, "I mean...I only heard some guys at the ramen shop talk about it but still-"

"Holy shit." Issei said as he rubbed his face, "Okay, it's stuff like this that makes people at school think you're a foreigner, Sempai." Issei scratched his head before sighing, "I might have to give you some stuff so you can see what I'm talking about."

"Is it really that important?"

"Of course it's important! That stuff defined a generation! We bond and talked about it as children and it helped shape us into who we are now!" Issei looked back at him, "Plus it's fun!"

"Fine. Whatever shuts you up."

Issei groaned before putting his hands behind his head and taking his time walking to their destination, "Seriously Sempai, now that you're part of the club, we're going to need to get you some hobbies."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

They continued in silence before Issei stopped, "Thank you."

Naruto stopped and looked at the brown-haired boy in confusion, "What was that?"

"I said thanks." Issei looked back at Naruto and smiled, "Thanks for helping us in the fight against that Raiser jerk, and for helping Buchou win her freedom from his touchy-grab harem-having lucky bastard ass. Despite being an antisocial, stubborn, snarky jerk you're actually a pretty cool guy."

Naruto blinked in honest surprise that he was being thanked, albeit with some unnecessary jabs as well, from his underclassmen. Naruto was silent for a second before he chuckled with a small smile, "I'm pretty sure you deserve some of the praise too."

Issei blinked, "Huh?"

"When we were getting chased by that crazy lady with bombs, you pushed me out of the way just in time for that last big blast. I mean you pushed me into a big window and I got glass in my gut but with the alternative of being blown to hell, I'll go with the glass. You chose to protect me over yourself."

Issei bashfully scratched the back of his head, "W-well, you were on the edge of the blast and I was already caught in it. Plus I felt like you could still help Buchou somehow if you tried. I mean I didn't think you'd go all Hokuto-no-Ken on him but I guess it worked out in the end." Issei gave Naruto a stern glare, "I still wanna know how the fuck you did that stuff at the end."

"Maybe when you're older." Naruto returned immediately before giving Issei some praise, "You did everything you could in that fight to protect your friends and make sure Rias didn't lose. Despite the depraved pervertedness and the fact you'll probably get your right hand pregnant in the future, you're a pretty cool guy too, Issei."

Issei didn't even mind the cheap shots as he felt sorta honored that the whiskered blond gave him a compliment. Huh. Maybe that was just gonna be how they talked to each other? They sprinkled in a few simple thanks and compliments beneath all the shit they were talking.

Issei just smiled, "No problem."

The two young men continued on until Issei finally stopped in front of an apartment door. He presented it, "Here it is. Your first recommendation as a Devil fulfilling a request."

Naruto looked at the door with a focused gaze, "So this is my first job request, huh? And you know this guy?"

"He's one of my regulars." Issei said with an innocent smirk as he pressed the doorbell and they heard the ring from outside, "You'll love him."

They waited for several moments and thought that the resident might not of heard them before loud and large footsteps started clamoring the ground and shaking the scaffold.

The door slammed open and a gruff, pitched voice spoke while trying to take on a girly tone, "Devil-San~! You've returned!"

It was a man. A big man. A big, muscular man. A big muscular man with pig-tails wearing a girl's top and skirt in bright pink with a magical girl staff in his hand and a hat on his head. The clothes over his body looked like they were going to rip at a moment's notice and his face looked eerily familiar to an Easter Island head. He was so eager at the sight of the Devils at his door, "Finally you've come to give Mil-tan her magical girl status right?! Right?!"

Issei waved off the muscular magical girl's wish, "S-sorry Mil-tan, but that's still a total impossibility even for Devils."

"But you'll make it happen someday, right?! Someday!" The large man pleaded, trying his best to let the little magical girl inside him out and do his best impression of a cute pleading girl as he could.

Issei backed away with discomfort, "Maybe one day, maybe. B-but actually I'm here on a very important job run. I'm introducing a new member of our club to the ropes of being a Devil and I wanted you to be the first new client he has."

Mil-tan beamed with joy, "Really!"

"Yep." Issei introduced his upperclassmen, "Mil-tan, this is Naruto Uzumaki-San, a senior at my school. Naruto-sempai, this is Mil-tan, he's going to be your first-Sempai?"

Naruto had vanished. He had disappeared while Issei hadn't noticed. He looked around in a panic for his senior but the whiskered blond was nowhere to be seen. Issei yelled, "Where the hell did he go?!"

Mil-tan peeked out of his apartment, "Looks like your Sempai has run away." He reached out and grabbed Issei's collar as the younger man suddenly yelped in fear, "You'll just have to keep Mil-tan company for the night! Come on in!"

"N-no wait it was his turn to do this I'm not-"

*Slam*

The door shut and Issei's voice was immediately cut off.

After he had heard the door close, Naruto pulled himself up and looked between the railing to see no one else in sight. He climbed up and jumped back onto stable ground before shaking his head, "Spend a whole night with some guy with more muscles than Raikage-jichan dressed up like a kid? I think I'll leave that one to Fuck-Face."

Naruto wrapped his hands around his head and casually walked back down to the ground floor, "I'm going back home. I'm sleepy."

||||||||Devil||||||||

Sona took the time to properly take a bite of her bento with the etiquette and finesse that had been formed into her after years of training. She fixed her glasses before continuing to eat her food but making a coy smile at the girl sitting across from her, "So Rias, tell me, how does it feel to be back out on the market again?"

Rias looked up from her bento and towards her old friend before she closed her eyes and smiled. She looked at the Student Council President, "Well, I guess liberating would be an appropriate term. I don't feel like I have a menacing presence hanging over my shoulder anymore."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "I'm pretty sure I'm feeling that right now."

Rias looked at Sona and titled her head, "Tell me Sona, is this how you felt after breaking off your engagement?"

Sona kept her composure and gave a small smile while eating her lunch, "I suppose, but mine wasn't dealt with nearly as heavily as yours. I even made sure that Onee-sama stayed out of the whole affair while I was sorting it out."

Akeno gave her normal smile with a tilt of her head, "I was certain Leviathan-sama would have intervened and tried to stop the marriage at any cost for your sake."

Sona just sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose, "That's the problem." She shook her head exhaustively at the prospect of her older sibling helping her in her endeavor and the ultimate result of...something being destroyed in rage. Sona fixed a strand of hair out of her eye, "If Onee-sama got involved, I'm sure it would have been even more of a mess than anything I could have done by myself. So I tired to avoid it as much as possible."

Sitting beside her was a beautiful young lady with long, well-kept black hair and glasses. She was the Vice President of the Student Council and Sona's [Queen], Tsubaki Shinra. She looked up from her bento and at her fellow Devil companions, "It was quite difficult to avoid Serafall-sama's attention so she wouldn't interfere long enough for Kaichou to do her work. But besides that it was simple enough to hide it from the public considering it was just a game of chess that decided it all."

"I wouldn't even want to think about what would have happened if it had to be settled with a Rating Game." Sona took a small clump of rice and started chewing on it before having a small but cheeky smile directed to her crimson-haired friend, "Do you think I would have been as intense as you if I decided to solve matters like that, Rias?"

Rias blinked and titled her head, "What? What do you mean intense?"

Akeno pleasantly answered, "I believe she's referring to the fact that you planned and fought in the Rating Game like a furious general giving everything they had to win their fight. You did resemble one of those old generals from war stories and such."

Rias' face started heating up with embarrassment, "W-what? No I didn't!"

Sona shook her head, "We have video footage of when your eyes shifted and you went all in on Riser."

"I did not!" Rias looked down their little group of table and pleaded to the blond male, "Naruto, I didn't look intense or weird or anything during the fight, right?"

Her only response was a disinterested raise of the brow before he went back to just staring to the side with boredom. She inquired, "What's wrong? What's with the pouting?"

"This isn't pouting. This is silent annoyance and thinking."

"Okay, well what are you silently annoyed and thinking about then?"

Naruto shrugged his shoulder, "A few things actually. For example..." He pointed around at their group's little makeshift table, "What is happening right now?"

Rias and the others looked down at their bentos, and then between each other before looking back at the boy, "We're having lunch."

"I know you're having lunch. I want to know why all of you are having lunch together in our classroom?" Naruto said before looking at Rias suspiciously, "Kaichou and Akeno I can understand, but you're in a separate class altogether." He looked at Tsubaki, "You too."

Tsubaki fixed her glasses, "Well Uzumaki-Kim, as the Vice President of the Student Council and [Queen] of the peerage it's my job to stay by my master's side whenever she needs me. And that's why I'm here."

Rias smiled, "And I'm here because it's fun to eat with friends."

Naruto just kept his stone-faced expression before continuing, "Okay, and number two...why did we have to push the desks together to make a table?"

He was referring to the fact that when Rias and Tsubaki arrived in the classroom, Akeno and Sona pushed their desks together with Naruto's to create a small table to eat around. Naruto sat at his desk, with Rias and Akeno beside him eating around Akeno's desk and Sona and Tsubaki around Sona's desk.

"We did this because it's always better to eat with friends than it is to eat alone. That should be obvious."

Akeno gave her trademark smile before poking fun at the whiskered blond, "Is this making you uncomfortable to eat around so many girls at once?"

Naruto's eyes shifted to the side, "That's...not exactly the problem here."

The real problem he had with this eating situation was the fact they were doing it in the middle of the classroom. And right now Naruto was the sole target of every last glare, scowl, and jealous look in the room. Hell, there were people peeking in the room from other classes outside with envy. If glares could kill, he would've been decimated into bloody chunks and then those bloody chunks destroyed into smoke and ash.

Needless to say, the senior body wasn't too happy with the fact that the four most popular girls in school were eating with him.

Naruto realized that it was useless to try and convince these four girls to notice the tension around the room. He sighed before pushing back and getting out of his seat, "Whatever, you girls do what you want. I gotta go buy my lunch before the sandwiches sell out."

"Oh! Wait, don't do that!" Rias said as Naruto and the others looked at her oddly. She bent down to her bag and started searching through its contents, "I almost forgot that I made this. Thank you for reminding me."

When she sat back up, she placed a small rectangular box covered with a purple cloth on the table. She started unwrapping the cloth to reveal the box inside before opening to reveal a perfectly made bento box, "Tada!"

Naruto, the girls, and everyone in the class looked at the box with varying degrees of surprise. He sat back down in his chair and stared at the box with disbelief before asking the crimson-haired beauty, "You...you made me a bento?"

"Of course." Rias answered obviously with a joyful smile at his surprise. She took out the chopsticks she prepared for him, "It's unhealthy to keep eating prepackaged food and microwaved meals like you usually do. It's always good to eat something nutritious and tasty."

Naruto was still slightly confused by the unexpected gesture and asked, "But why did you make it for me?"

"Why not?" Rias questioned back with confusion, "You're my friend and I didn't want you to be hungry. Of course I would make you something to eat."

Rias was too busy putting on the finishing touches of the bento that she didn't notice the astonished and amazed look on the blond's face. He couldn't remember the last time someone had made him something to eat without payment or a reason why. It was rather strange and...heartfelt knowing the girl went out of her way to do something like this. A small smile came over Naruto's face, "Thank you Rias."

"No problem." She finished her preparations and grabbed a large chunk of rice with the chopsticks. She held it out carefully to his face and she eagerly announced, "Say 'Ahhhhhh~'."

...

Good thing mental breakdowns weren't audible, otherwise the whole room would be sounding like a million windows were shattered in an instant.

Naruto blinked, "Um...what?"

"Well I didn't take the time to taste it when I was making it so I don't know how it turned out. I want you to try it and see if you like it." She seemed so eager for him to try out her homemade lunch and continued pressing it, "So open up and say ahhhhh."

Naruto was still so caught off guard by the demand that he couldn't even voice words. He looked at the other girls sitting with them and saw they all just had coy smiles aimed at him while waiting for his response. Naruto just shrugged his shoulders before opening his mouth and leaning forward as Rias fed him.

His eyes widened in surprise at the delicious taste of the perfectly cooked rice. He swallowed, "Holy crap."

"Here, have another bite." Rias got some more ready and held it out for him, which he gratefully accepted as he seemed to just ignore all the nasty looks aimed at him. After taking another bite, Rias passed it over to him as he began to devour it quickly. She watched happily as her [Pawn] enjoyed the meal she made while everyone else in class watched with depressed and envious looks on their face.

Sona inquired, "And when did you start making lunches for a boy?"

"Oh it's nothing like that. He's a friend and the newest member of our club, so I felt obliged to make sure he's being properly fed." She turned back to Sona, "Speaking of new members, tonight's the full moon."

"Yes, that's right. I almost forgot to bring it up."

"So, which one of us should get the honor to introduce our new members to their new friends?"

Rias and Sona stared at each other in a challenging manner before Sona fixed her glasses, "I think I'll let you have it this time."

Rias almost looked disappointed that the matter was resolved so quickly, "What, that easily? You're usually stubborn and hard to convince about something like this."

"Consider it a present for your failed engagement." Sona gave one of her neutral smiles to her oldest friend, "I think we'll just wait until next time to get a familiar."

Naruto stopped scarfing down his bento and grumbled through the food, "Mermilikar?"

"Don't speak with your mouth full."

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"Familiars?"

"That's right." Rias said from behind her desk in the club room with everyone else sitting or standing around the room. Rias nodded to her three newest members, "As Devils it is customary for us to have contracts with creatures that we take care of in return for helping us with our jobs. Scouting. Reconnaissance. Even helping out around the house." She held out her hand and summoned a cute little crimson bat that fluttered around her hand, "This little one is mine."

It started flying around the room before landing in Asia's open hands and resting there. The blonde girl cooed, "Aw~, it's so cute."

Akeno added in, "We use them mostly to help contact each other and pass out pamphlets advertising our services."

Issei thought about that for a moment before sweating a little, "There are Devils selling their services in the crowded malls and business areas...I feel like there's a joke there for someone to take an opportunity at."

Naruto ignored Issei's observation and scratched the bat's head as it seemed to hum and fly over to Rias' side. He raised his eyebrow, "So you guys make contracts and can summon animals at any time?"

"Well not all familiars are animals but most chosen usually are." The bat landed on Rias' shoulder and she asked, "Why? Is that surprising to you?"

"Not really." Naruto answered before a small smile came to his face, "It's actually kinda refreshing."

Asia's eyes were totally focused on the adorable bat on the crimson-haired woman's shoulder. She looked to her master, "Buchou-San, do you keep her in a little place in your home and do you have to feed her something?"

"Well I feed her when she wants but she usually just feeds herself by eating whatever is around." Rias said as she looked at her little bat and rubbed its head gently before looking back at the blonde nun, "But we don't usually keep them with us. However if we ever want to call them for help we can do it quite easily."

There were a few bright lights around the room as the senior members of the club had summoned their respective familiars. Akeno had a tiny, pudgy little oni that bounced around on her shoulder with extra energy. Yuuto had a bird perched on his forearm that stretched its wings span before calmly sticking to its position. And Koneko was gently petting the white kitten sitting in her lap with a sleepy expression. Koneko had a tiny, gentle smile, "Good Shiro."

"Aww, she's cute." Naruto said as he stepped over to Koneko's side and admired the little creature jostling in her lap. The kitten noticed the tall man looking over it and meowed cutely as Naruto tried petting her, "What's her-"

"!"

Koneko flinched away from his reach and side as she seemed to tighten her hold on the kitten. Naruto looked surprised by her knee-jerk reaction and stood back up and away from her personal space. Koneko realized her reaction and sat up calmly, seeming to avoid his eyes and whispering quieter than usual, "Her...name is Shiro."

Naruto was confused by Koneko's reclusive position and quieter voice as some of the older members of the peerage looked at the youngest girl with sad eyes as they knew why she was acting like that. Rias decided to veer attention away from Koneko's behavior and continue explaining to them, "This is a special opportunity because the only time you can tame a familiar and make a contract with it is on the night of a full moon. And it is usually left to one peerage to get their familiar due to time restraints. So today's the only chance we have in a month to do it. If we can't, we'll have to wait for another opportunity later."

Rias' sighed and sat further back into her chair, "Which brings me to the little snag in the plan. Usually, when a peerage is going out to choose its familiars, the new servants have had some time to complete a myriad of jobs and requests. Issei and Asia, while you both have only just started, you have completed the minimum requirement of jobs to qualify for a familiar. The only problem we have right now...is the fact that one of our members only just started working and hasn't finished a job as of yet."

Everyone was silent before they all turned their heads towards the blond, whiskered man in the room. Naruto turned as well to look behind him and saw there was no one there. He turned back around and sighed, "In my defense...I don't know what the hell that thing was Fuck-face brought me to meet but there was no way in hell I was gonna play with it for the entire night."

Issei grimaced and felt a chill run through his back before he weakly groaned, "I guess it was my fault...I thought it would be funny to dump him on Mil-tan but I was wrong...so, so wrong."

"Serves you right." Naruto crossed his arms and settled back on his feet, "So if I didn't hit the mark does that mean I should just sit this little out? Because having to come back to school is exhausting and I need to catch up on some sleep. It's dangerous to go from how lazy I was back to an 'upstanding, learned' student so quickly."

"I bet." Rias answered sarcastically before giving a small smile, "And this doesn't necessarily mean you are not eligible for a familiar, it just means it would look better if you had a job done. Well, how about you try making it up with one special request?"

The others looked at Rias questioningly with Naruto just giving one raised brow at what she meant. Her smile became a little more noticeable as she rested her cheek on her fist, "We have a client who we have had some dealings with before. Doing this request will help solidify future partnerships a little better and I'm willing to let you take care of it if you want. Now you would need one of us to make sure you actually-"

"I'll do it!" Issei jumped to his feet and volunteered without hesitation. He snarled at Naruto, "Anything I can do to make sure this bastard actually does his work!"

Naruto just blinked slowly at the pervert's attitude and shrugged, "Fuck it, sure." He scratched his chin, "So who's the job for?"

Rias gave an innocent smile, "A classmate."

||||||||Devil||||||||

"When I asked Gremory-San for assistance in making sure no one was present that might interrupt what happens tonight, I have to admit...I was expecting something other than this."

Her helpers for the evening, a junior with brown hair wearing a red shirt under the white school uniform, and a blond wearing an orange shirt with his uniform removed, looked between each other. The whiskered blond shrugged his shoulders, "Meh, you get what you pay for."

"Well I certainly hope you show more initiative during my request." The girl with the drill-like bangs of brown hair said as she crossed her arms under her bountiful chest and hummed at their attitude. Issei's eyes inadvertently lowered and admired the wonderful sight of her pushed up breasts as Naruto looked around at their location in the sports area of the school. She resigned to trust these two men and nodded her head, "I suppose I should be grateful Gremory-San accepted my request for help." She folded her hands in front of her skirt and bowed her head gratuitously, "Thank you for the assistance today."

"Yeah, it's no problem." Naruto waved her polite thanks off like she didn't even need to show gratitude for his help. The well-bred girl looked up and gave him a cold, flat stare at his attitude as he stood there silently. He was confused by her stare before he felt Issei poke him in the side with an elbow, "What?"

"What was that? You know you're not just some punk helping out a pretty girl from school, right?" Issei whispered behind his hand to muffle the sound, "You're here as a representative of the Gremory peerage. You have to act like it."

Naruto seemed unamused by this information, "And are you gonna poke me each time to make sure I do it?"

"Yes. Yes I will."

"Fine." Naruto stood back up and seemed rather stiff for a moment as he ran through the proper and polite etiquette for exchanging thanks in his head. He decided to awkwardly bow, "I-I'm here as a part of Rias' family. It's the least I can do."

Issei corrected him, "You mean as a representative of Rias Gremory-sama's peerage."

Naruto stood back up and growled, "You. Shut up." He turned back to the girl to see she had stood back up and was summing him up with a quick look. He raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"Nothing. It's just...I didn't expect Gremory-San to have actually been able to convince you to be a part of something. You have a bit of a reputation of being a loner, Uzumaki-kun." She stood up a little straighter and asked, "Do you know who I am?"

"Yeah, you're a senior here like me. You're Kiyome Abe. You're the captain of the...the...um..." Naruto was drawing a blank at where he recognized the prestigious girl from school. He scratched his head, "Captain...of...the...volleyball team?"

Kiyome just gave him a stoic, half-lidded stare, "I'm captain of the tennis club."

He shrugged his shoulders, "I was close."

"No, you weren't." Kiyome shook her head, "Tennis and volleyball are completely different."

"I don't think they're that different."

"Tennis is a refined sport where you use skill, accuracy, judgement, and intuition to defeat your opponent. Volleyball is just jumping around hitting balls at one another for other peoples' amusement."

"That's sounds like every sport ever. Running around. Throwing balls. And grunting. There, I just explained most sports in the world."

"I think volleyball and tennis are both amazing sports!" Issei added in rather exuberantly at the subject.

The two seniors looked at him with confusion, "You do?"

"Totally!" Issei proclaimed as he started getting 'that look' over his face and drifting into his imagination and memories, "When I watch the volleyball team, my eyes just can't turn away from the beautiful displays of the girls dancing around like that. Their t-shirts, clung to their bodies while their breasts bounce and sway with their movements. Their asses, kept firmly in place with the shorts that ride up and cling tighter with every step they take. And their skin getting more and more flushed by the end of the game. But oh man, the tennis matches! The fluttering of the frilly skirts, revealing just a glimpse of their untouched panties to the waiting public. Which reminds me, I remember a tennis match last year between Buchou and Abe-sempai! I'm pretty sure by the end of that match half the school had enough material to-"

Kiyome's face had turned beet red at the pervert's incessant yammering while she instinctively covered her breasts with her arms.

Naruto tightly grabbed Issei's head and forced it down in a bow, "I'm very sorry about this guy's nonstop talking about boobs and weird shit. How about we move on so we can try and forget everything he just said?"

"A-agreed."

Issei finally pulled out of Naruto's grip and rubbed his head tenderly to get some feeling back in it.

Naruto asked, "So what are we supposed to help you with exactly?"

"I'm glad you asked." Kiyome placed her hands on her hips, "Do either of you know what a Beast Tamer is?"

Naruto just titled his head while Issei looked up in thought and cupped his chin, "Aren't those the guys in circuses that hold lions back with stools and whips?"

Kiyome deadpanned, "That's a lion tamer. I said Beast Tamer." She reaffirmed herself, "A Beast Tamer is a person who is capable of taking and forming relationships with all the monsters, beasts, and strange creatures that roam this world. We work with these creatures and in return for their companionship and services we provide homes, food, and more."

Naruto's palmed his fist, "Oh, so they're kinda like the familiars Rias is making us go get."

Issei also seemed to understand that comparison, "Oh!"

Kiyome palmed her face and sighed, "That's a bit of a simplified comparison, but in the interest of saving time...yes. Yes it is."

"Okay, so you're a Beast Tamer." Naruto clapped his hands once and looked around, "What does that mean for my job?"

"I need you to watch out and make sure no one interrupts us for the next few hours."

"Well we have something to do in a little while so if we can get this job down before midnight, we'd appreciate it."

"That shouldn't be a problem."

"So what do you need?"

She turned back to the indoor swimming pool behind them, "I'm letting one of my friends get some exercise and stretch out without anyone bothering her. I already got permission from Kaichou and now I just need a little security. Which is why I asked you to come watch over us."

Naruto and Issei looked between each other before asking, "So who's your friend that needs the pool?"

"Her name is Estleena. She's a mermaid."

"MERMAID?!" Issei screeched joyful, making Naruto stumble aside as his ear nearly popped from the sheer volume of the pervert's scream. He raised himself to the tips of his toes and squealed happily, "M-M-M-M-M-M-Mermaids! T-they're real?! T-they're really real?!"

Kiyome seemed confused by his question and just nodded, "Of course they're real."

"Thank you Satans! Thank you Buddha! Thank you God! Thank you whoever is looking down at us this very moment!" Issei preached as he fell to his knees and thanked the various gods that might watch over them, completely ignoring the spike of agony piercing his brain because his euphoria was just too great.

Naruto rubbed his headache and glared at the kneeling teen, cursing him out for his stupidity. He knew what a mermaid was but he had no idea why he was so excited. Well, he knew what mermaids looked like and what they incited in people...beautiful maidens with enchanting voices while they swim through the water.

Okay...now he was kinda interested in seeing this mermaid.

Kiyome turned and opened the door to the pool. She stood aside, "Here she is."

The two men looked at the surface of the water and noticed something move under it so close to the top that a bump could be seen. It swam around at extraordinary speeds and the Devils looked at the pool with their expectations rising. Their hearts were beating and something popped out of the water...

"Gayaooooo~!"

It was a giant, deformed fish head somehow attached to a pair of extremely burly, muscular legs wearing e bottom of a bikini swimsuit.

Kiyome introduced the creature, "This is Estleena. She's my mermaid. What do you think?"

Naruto and Issei both had their eyes as wide and white as plates as their jaws had literally dropped so far they cracked the ground beneath them.

The tennis captain inquired, "What's wrong?"

"What."

"The."

"Fuck."

"IS THAT THING?!"

The monstrosity seemed surprised by their exclamation and cuddled into Kiyome's side as she consoled it, "How rude! This is Estleena! My mermaid! I just told you that!"

"THAT IS NOT A MERMAID!" Issei yelled as he pointed at the freaky fish head, "THAT IS A MONSTER! FROM THE DEEPEST AND MOST FOUL RECESSES IN THE CORNERS OF OUR NIGHTMARES! THAT IS LIKE THE BEAST FROM THE BIBLE! THAT'S-THAT'S-THAT'S RUINING ALL OF MY HOPES AND DREAMS!"

Kiyome scowled at the junior student before turning to her fellow senior, "Would you control your junior!"

"N-no! I-I'm sorry but the pervert is right!" Naruto said while shaking with fright, "That is not a mermaid! Mermaids are cute! Sexy! Alluring voices! That looks like you cut off a fish head and stuck it on a muscle man!"

Kiyome clicked her teeth, "Typical. Forcing your views of beauty and glamor onto others without any concerns for their feelings. I'm sorry if she doesn't match your standards, but Estleena is beautiful in her own way!"

"Oh, I bet. There's gotta be someone out there willing to get a catch like that. I bet...a fisherman!" Naruto yelled as he heard Issei curl into a ball and start to cry to himself. Naruto rubbed his face and sighed, "Look, forget what we just said. You want us to watch the pool and make sure nothing happens tonight, right?"

Kiyome was quiet for a moment before nodding.

Naruto helped a whimpering Issei reluctantly get back to his feet, "Then let's get started. The sooner this is over, the sooner we can get on our way and we can get this guy into some seriously needed therapy."

That seemed responsible.

||||||||Devil||||||||

"Knock it back Estleena!"

"Gayao~!"

"Nice pass!"

Kiyome cheered her friend on as she and the mermaid splashed around in the pool and passed a ball between each other. The tennis captain changed into her swimsuit and started playing with her beast about an hour in as Estleena started getting restless.

Naruto and Issei sat aside the pool in chairs while Naruto looked over on Issei's phone...

"MAKANKŌSAPPŌ!"

"G-GAHHHHHHH!"

"What the hell?! That slug dude just shot a hole through the main guy's chest! Aren't they friends?"

Issei shrugged his shoulders, "Well, not really. At least not at this point. They just came off a rivalry spanning almost ten years where they tried to kill each other, so Piccolo is still a little sore."

"When did they explain that?"

"It was all in the prequel series, Dragon Ball."

"So if I wanna understand what happens in this series, I've gotta watch an entire other series years earlier that shows what happened?"

"Pretty much."

Naruto groaned and shook his head, "If you can't keep a show in one series, you're pushing it out too far. That's a waste of time."

Issei raised an eyebrow, "What are you bitching about? It's an awesome series."

"Yeah well...maybe I could be using that time to do something else."

"What? What else?" Issei asked patronizingly at the older blond, "What exactly do you do that requires your time outside of this?"

"..."

"..."

"Shut up and put on the next episode."

"Uzumaki-kun, Hyoudou-kun."

The two boys looked up from what they were watching as Kiyome swam up to the edge of the pool on their end. She pulled herself out of the pool and started wringing the pool water out of her hair. While she was preoccupied with that, she unwillingly allowed the boys (especially Issei) to gander and admire the sight of the water dripping down her well-developed, bikini-clad body.

There was a lot to admire.

Kiyome ran some of her hair over her shoulder and thanked the boys, "I appreciate you staying here with us so late."

Naruto noticed that Issei was still staring and sighed before standing up to talk with the girl. He nodded, "No problem. I guess as far as jobs go this was a rather simple request. I wish we could have helped out in a more direct way." Naruto scratched the back of his head, "But if we're done, should we get going then? Our group is meeting out somewhere soon and we need to meet them."

"I suppose that's fine. Considering what I thought was going to happen, this was a rather peaceful evening."

Naruto questioned, "What do you mean?"

"Well...it's just that...the reason I brought Estleena here tonight...is because I need to keep her away."

Naruto was now feeling a sense of dread fill his stomach. He asked slowly, "Okay...why?"

"Estleena has a boyfriend, Michelo-kun, back at our house. And they can't be together tonight because it's a full moon...and mermaids get...'in heat' on full moons."

"Oh. Oh. Oh!" Naruto said as he started to realize what she meant. And then he grimaced, "Oh ewwwwwwww."

"It's perfectly natural."

"When Estleena is involved, nothing is perfectly natural."

Kiyome pouted at his incessant standing on her mermaid being weird before shaking her head, "I wanted to keep an eye on her so she didn't act out. But she seemed fine in the end. She just needed to lose some energy and stay calm and everything was-"

"She's gone."

The two seniors looked over at Issei after he stated the fact and pointed at the pool, "She left when we weren't looking."

...

They turned to the pool and saw it was empty. And looked over to see a trail of puddles leading to the doors to the school.

"Oh...shit."

"ESTLEENA!" Kiyome screamed in worry as she started waving her arms around, "W-W-WE HAVE TO FIND HER! QUICKLY!"

"She went into the school!" Naruto said as he opened the doors and followed after the mermaid with Issei and Kiyome following too, "She won't get far!"

||||||||Devil||||||||

Asia sat on the couch and patiently fiddled with her skirt as she waited for her best friend and upperclassman to return to the club. She looked up at the door and saw it still hadn't opened with them emerging behind it so she looked back down at her lap.

"Are you okay, Asia-chan?"

"O-oh, yes Akeno-San. I'm just a little worried about Issei-San and Naruto-San." The kind blonde nun stated as she poked her fingers together, "They shouldn't be taking this long to do their job, should they?"

Akeno just smiled, "Oh, I don't think you should worry too much. I'm sure Issei-kun is keeping a good eye on Naruto-San."

Asia looked up at the pony-tailed woman with worry, "But shouldn't they be back by now?"

"Don't worry Asia. They're big boys now. We have to trust they can handle this themselves." Rias stated while she sat back in her seat, "We can wait for them a little longer but then we will have to decide if we go on without them."

Asia silently nodded before anxiously turning to the door and waiting for her friends to show up.

||||||||Devil||||||||

Naruto and Kiyome ran through the hallway after losing sight of the fish on legs. Naruto looked around vigilantly as Kiyome shook with worry, "Ahhhhhhh, where are you Estleena?! Come back! We need to get you back in the pool!"

Naruto's eye twitched before he tried focusing on finding the fish, "Can you stop yelling? We just need to keep looking and we'll find her soon enough."

"Not fast enough!" Kiyome stated as her arms started shaking, "Mermaids can't stay out of land for long! If they don't find water then they'll dehydrate and die!"

Naruto's eyes widened and he looked around before nodding, "Then she'll be somewhere with water. That should make it-"

"Gayao!"

They turned around and saw Estleena charging through the hallway and towards them. Naruto followed on reflex and reached for the knife in his pocket while Kiyome saw his intent and grabbed his arm, "Don't! She's a little clouded, she wouldn't hurt us!"

"I know that! I was going to try and knock her out with-Move!"

Naruto grabbed Kiyome around the chest and dove into a classroom as the large creature charged past their position and into the dark. Naruto lifted himself off the groaning girl beneath him as Kiyome rubbed her head. The tennis player looked up from her position on the floor and could see the whiskered blond placed around her like a beast that was taking its mate. Her face burned red and she stuttered, "U-U-U-Uzumaki-kun, w-wait! I-I'm not-I-I don't-"

"She got away." Naruto simply stood up, unaware of his previous position and what thoughts it stirred in Kiyome's head, and peeked out of the room. He clicked his tongue, "She ran past us. I think she's heading downstairs, but Issei split up from us around there. Kiyome, get off the ground and let's go!"

Kiyome laid on the ground with surprised eyes before she looked aside and grumbled, "R-right."

||||||||Devil||||||||

Issei carefully peeked around the corner of the ground floor and peered through the darkness, unaffected by its spreading length due to the advantage of night vision. Despite the shadows being no different from light, Issei still slowly checked every corner as he was afraid he might have to take the mermaid on by himself. He raised his left arm and summoned his red gauntlet to cover it, "Come out, come out, wherever you are."

Issei heard the sound of running water echo through the hallway which caused the [Pawn] to flinch. He turned towards the sound of water and carefully stepped towards it without being too loud to avoid alarm. He kept passing the rooms until he finally heard the water echoing from the girl's gym room.

That's good. Issei had experience sneaking around in here.

Issei quietly stalked through the room and finally reached the showers as he stepped in and felt the puddles settling around his feet. He creeped forward, looking in every stall to find his target but found nothing except running water.

How the fuck did that thing turn on the levers for the showers?

Meh. Questions for later.

Issei shook his head, "This is what I get for wanting to get a little payback against Sempai. Now I'm looking for a monster, which ruined my vision of mermaids forever, in the shower rooms after school. How the hell did I get myself into this mess?"

[I'm pretty sure it happened because you wanted to get back at that boy for leaving you with that strange monster last night.]

"And now it's like I'm in a scene from a horror movie."

[You reap what you sew, I suppose.]

"I guess." Issei said with defeat, understanding the point the deep, gruff voice was making to him. He blinked his eyes and started looking around, "Wait. Where did that come from?"

"Gayaoooooo~."

Issei froze with fear when he felt something large and grimy sneak up behind him. He slowly turned around...

To meet the unflinching eyes of the giant fish head on legs.

"GAYAOOOO!"

"AHHHHHHH!"

Issei stumbled out of them room and sprinted away as Estleena broke through the doors and chased after him with a wild yell. Issei heard that this mermaid was in heat due to a full moon, and he didn't not-by any circumstance-wish to see the extent it would be willing to go to fulfill its desire. He cried while sprinting, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

He rounded the corner, "NOOOOO-UWOF!"

Issei was grabbed and flipped over his head and onto his back with a loud slam after having all of his momentum forced up and down. Issei laid on the ground groggily and looked up to see Naruto had easily flipped him with Kiyome beside him, "What exactly are you doing?"

"Sempai!" Issei yelled as he pulled himself up to his knees to address the two upperclassmen. He pointed back where he just came, "Estleena was chasing me! She was in the showers! She's coming! We have to catch her!"

Naruto looked back as Kiyome walked around the corner to see if anything was coming. She shook her head sadly, "She's not there."

"What?!" Issei proclaimed in shock, "She was right behind me! How does a fish on legs move that fast?!"

Naruto shook his head, "She's deceptively quick."

Kiyome's back fell against the wall and she looked at the ground with despair, "I don't want her to die. She just can't control herself." She was just short of tears, "It's not fair."

Naruto and Issei looked between each other before standing up to comfort the crying girl. Issei asked, "You really love her, don't you?"

Kiyome sobbed for a little longer before nodding her head, "I've been friends with Estleena for years now. She's one of my oldest friends. I've taken care of her so much that just the idea of her dying here...when I was just trying to help her...I-"

"Does she love you too?"

Kiyome and Issei looked at Naruto after his strange question interrupted her sorrow. She was confused by his inquisition but gave a short nod, "Y-yes, at least I think so."

Naruto gave a small smirk, "Then I think we have a way to get her back in our hands."

Issei looked at the older blond strangely, "How?"

"Think about it. You're a pervert." Naruto grinned, "Even when you're horny, can you ignore the call of someone you love in peril?"

||||||||Devil||||||||

Sex.

Sex.

Need sex.

She need sex.

Mate.

Must find mate.

Must find Michelo.

Mate.

Feeling a little parched.

Water.

Sex.

Mate.

"Estleena! Help me!"

The giant fish-headed mermaid stopped her sprinting through the halls of the school and heard the cry of her dear Beast Tamer in distress. Her foggy mind full of lust for her own kind was pierced when she decided to follow the call and come to her friend's aid.

She ran down to the bottom level and looked around rapidly for her friend-

"Estleena!"

She looked over and saw the two strange men standing beside her Beast Tamer, one with a knife in his hand while the other held Kiyome's shoulder with his red gauntlet. The whiskered blond held his knife up at the mermaid, "You have run away for far too long now Estleena! As punishment, we must now make your Beast Tamer pay! I hope you're ready to let her suffer the consequences!"

While the mermaid looked confused, Kiyome was just as bewildered by their act and leaned towards Naruto, "Uzumaki-kun, how exactly are you going to make it look like I'm in danger?"

"Don't worry. It's gonna look really convincing."

"All right..." She then blinked and felt some dread form in the pit of her stomach, "H-how so?"

"Sorry about this." Naruto ran off to the side, "Do it!"

"Sorry, Abe-sempai." Issei patted her shoulder before raising his hand in the air and crossing his fingers, "Dress..."

"Break."

*Snap*

*SCHRIP*

In an instant the jacket Kiyome was wearing, along with her bathing suit underneath it, were torn away into nothing but cloth. The esteemed Beast Tamer stood there silently, with her breasts and vagina revealed for everyone to see.

"KYAAAAAAA!" She yelled as she fell to her knees, covering her breasts and privates from sight, "You perverts! Monsters! Lechers! Freaks!"

Estleena saw her Beast Tamer in trouble and started alwarkly charging to attack, "GAYAOOOOO!"

"Kiyome, move to the side!"

The tennis captain didn't give it another thought as she stumbled away while still covering her most delicate areas. Issei and Naruto took her place in front of the door to hold off the roaring monstrosity that charged at them. Issei asked, "So what exactly are we gonna do now?"

"We just need to cover her vision, maybe knock her out if we can, and get her back in the water." Naruto reassured easily while bouncing on his feet, "Easy enough."

The brown-haired boy asked, "And how are we gonna do that?"

"Oh..." Naruto raised his hand behind Issei's back, ready to knock him forward to intercept the beast, "I have some ideas."

"Wait!" Naruto pulled his hand back as Issei smiled and nodded, "I have a better idea." He ran behind and called, "Stay there until I'm ready!"

Naruto just turned back to the charging mermaid, "Whatever your plan is, let's hope it works as well as mi-"

"HA!"

Naruto felt a powerful kick in his butt from Issei that sent him flying forward and directly at the mermaid.

Son of a bitch.

Fucker beat him to it.

"GAYA-"

*SLAM*

*SPLASHHHHHH*

The massive wave splashed across the pool after Naruto had slammed into the mermaid's face and sent them blindly barreling into the water. The fog of mist started to disappear and reveal Naruto's floating upside-down body while Estleena floated to the top, knocked out.

Issei cheered and pointed, "Ha! Hahaha! Got you back, asshole! That was for leaving me with Mil-tan! I win!" He raised his arms up, "I win! Ahahahahahaha-huh?"

Issei stopped his laugh of victory when he noticed a piece of cloth by his foot. He kneeled down and picked it up. It was the bottom of a bikini. But he destroyed the one Abe-sempai was wearing, so where did this...

And then he saw it.

Of all the horrors he had faced...of all the nasty and evil things he had seen while being a Devil...this was...was...

Kiyome gasped, "That's Estleena's bathing suit! Don't stare at her like that! She doesn't like people looking at her privates like that!"

And that was the straw that broke Issei's fragile mentality.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

||||||||Devil||||||||

The ORC club room filled with a red light as the magic circle shined and materialized the Gremory peerage on its floor. Strangely enough, the one to make the first cheer home was Asia as she held the little creature in her arms, "And this is our club room! I'm sure you will love it Rassei-kun!"

Akeno titled her head while watching her cute junior dote on her familiar before talking to the [Knight] beside her, "She's become attached so quickly."

Yuuto nodded, "Asia-San has a very big heart. I didn't think she would have any problem finding a familiar to watch over her. Especially one as rare as a dragon sprite."

Koneko noted, "Super lucky."

"Indeed." Rias said with a nod of her head, "It looks like one of our newest member got to get the familiar they needed. Unfortunately, our other two members couldn't make it on time. So when we see them again we will...oh." Rias turned to the couch, "They're here."

Everyone looked aside to see Issei sitting in the couch with his eyes stark white and dried with tears while his whole body had turned pale from fright. They heard a noise and looked up to see Naruto walk out of the back room with a towel to dry his head and hair. He dried his mop of yellow locks before looking up to see everyone staring at him, "Oh hey, you guys are back."

"Yes, we just got back from helping Asia get her familiar." Rias said as she motioned to the blonde that held a cute little dragon in her arms. Rias gave a small nod, "I'm sorry you didn't get to come. We waited as long as we possibly could but you both never turned up and we thought it was better at least one of you got their familiar now. We won't have to wait long and we can go again to get you both familiars when we get the chance."

Naruto waved off her concern, "It's all right. We took longer than we thought and missed our chance." Naruto walked around the couch and sat on its arm, "We'll try not to mess up that up next time around."

Yuuto inquired, "How was your first job?"

Naruto grumbled and pulled the towel off his head, "We got it done. I might never be able to think of mermaids as pretty creatures again but we finished it."

Yuuto understood what he meant and nodded, "Oh, so it was one of those days."

Rias gave a small chuckle and asked, "I'm glad to hear you finished it. Well I hope when I see Abe-San again she can give me some insight of what she thought of your performance."

"I'm pretty sure she's gonna want to say something to you." Naruto sighed before raising a finger, "Oh, but if she said we ripped off her clothes and used her as bait...s-she's lying. She doesn't know what she's talking about."

"Umm, Naruto-San." The whiskered man turned to Asia as she approached the couch and looked down at her silent friend lying back in the furniture, "What happened to Issei-San?"

"Don't know." Naruto shrugged his shoulders and looked at the defeated pervert, "I was gonna beat him up for slamming me against the mermaid but when I got out of the pool he was already crying in a ball on the ground. I just dragged him back here and he's been like that since. No idea what happened."

Asia was worried about her friend and gently touched his shoulder, "Issei-Sa-"

"ASIA!"

Issei immediately came back to life and wrapped his arms around the blonde girl as he cried. She stuttered, "I-Issei-San?!"

"Asia! Help me! I can't get these terrible images out of my head!" He hugged her tighter and whimpered into her bosom, "You're the only one that can help!"

Asia blushed in surprise and embarrassment before she started lowering her hands to comfort him, "Iss-"

"Guo!"

*BZZZZZT*

"GYYYAHHHHHHHHH!" Issei screamed as his whole body was struck with blasts of lightning from the sprite dragon's mouth.

The pervert fell into a smoking heap on the ground as the little dragon flew into the blonde's embrace instead, "Rassei-kun! You can't attack Issei-San like that. He's my friend."

Akeno shook her head, "Ara Ara, looks like sprite dragons really are protective of girls around men. I don't think Issei-kun will get any comfort with Rassei-kun around."

"You little prick!" Issei jumped to his feet and glared at the dragon, "Stop hogging Asia! I want her hugs too!"

"Guo!"

*BZZT*

"AHHHHHH-"

"Rassei-kun, stop!"

As the dragon's lighting brightened the room, Rias moved around the couch to walk over to Natuto. She inclined her head, "So how does it feel to finish your first job as a Devil?"

"If all the jobs are something like this then I'm pretty sure you tricked me saying they were easy. But I can't lie and say it wasn't fun." He ran his fingers over the towel in his hand before placing it over the couch, "I guess we don't get any reward for these jobs or anything, huh?"

"Not usually. Just the promise of future favors and contracts. But if it means anything..." Rias smiled up at him and placed a hand against his chest, "I'm very proud of you."

Naruto saw the smile on the beautiful woman's face and cracked a small smirk of his own, "Well I guess that's better than nothing."

"DAMMIT!"

*BZZT*

"GAHHHHHH!"

"Can I go home now?"

||||||||Devil||||||||

Naruto walked back to his apartment in the middle of the night after saying goodbye to everyone else from the club. He climbed the stairs to the next floor, ignoring the lights and strange moaning from the main office where his landlord worked.

As he walked back to his room he rubbed his neck, "I need to learn how to do that magic circle thing so I don't have to keep walking back home every nigh. Pain in the ass."

Naruto started fiddling with his keys to try and get them in the lock. As he started putting them in place, a small smile grew on his face at the fun and levity he had over the last few days. Something he noticed he had not experienced in many months since coming to this town. His smile grew, "Well, I guess it's not so bad."

He finally unlocked his door and let it swing open...

And was confused when he noticed no moonlight illuminated his shadow into the room.

"Finally. Been waiting all night for you to come back. Don't mean to be rude but patience is one of the hardest virtues to expect of people. Even a saint."

Naruto's eyes widened, alarms going off in his head as he felt the extremely powerful presence suddenly appear behind him. He turned around...

To see an older man with a mix of black and gold hair with twelve wings spreading from his back, blacker than even the darkest corner of the night.

He gave a confident smirk, "So you're the weirdo that popped out of nowhere, right? Mind if I take some time to talk with you?"

||||||||Devil||||||||

"Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Mmmmmmmm~."

"There? You like it there you whore?"

"Oh yeah. Fuck me there."

Taichi watched the porn with growing interest as he felt a part of himself grow as well. He reached over and grabbed a box of tissues to assist him-

*CRASH*

*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*

*SLAM*

The whole room shook with a powerful earthquake as the TV fell over and smashed into the ground. The landlord jumped out of his seat, "What the hell?!"

He ran outside and gaped at the sight of one of the doors to the rooms ripped off its hinges and broken in the street, multiple craters and a bent light post, and finally a dumpster to the side looking like a meteor struck down on it and crushed its center.

He freaked out, "What the hell happened to my property?!" He walked further out and looked over his entire shitty complex to finally see the room the door had been ripped off of. He snarled, "Uzmeki! What did you do to my complex?! If you had a hand in this I'll make you pay for the whole damn thing!"

He waited for a reply...but got none.

He waited impatiently before clicking his teeth and running up the stairs to meet the boy face-to-face. He peered in the room and found it completely empty. He looked around the area again and scratched his head with confusion.

"Where'd Uzmeki go?"

||||||||Devil||||||||

Done

You miss me? Maybe? Maybe not. Probably not. Mad I've been gone so long? Understandable. I'd be pissed to. Either way, glad to write back. And I love all of you.

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