I sat with Lisa in the dark, watching the flames of the fire dance. "You know, Leese, it's really amazing how Detroit can be the least likely military town, and yet all the people I hang out with all are related to someone serving in or themselves serving in the military."

She smiled. "I know. It just seemed that when Riqy joined, all the others thought they should too." She wiped a tear. "I hated him for it."

"Riqy?"

"No. How could anyone hate Tariq?" She quietly laughed. "James. He decided that he wanted to join. He wasn't sure he wanted to do it full time though. Hence the National Guard."

"Riqy will bring him home safe." I comforted.

"I know. I just miss James. He called the other day and he's so homesick." She put her head on my shoulder. "CiCi, I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next three months."

"I'll be here."

"I know." She sat straight up. "I forgot to tell you that Riqy called me the other day."

I smiled. "I know. He told me. He didn't say what you talked about though. He just reminded me that, despite how busy I may be, to not forget about seeing you."

"He said you two finally admitted how you felt for each other."

I sighed. "Seems everyone but Dawson and I knew." I laughed. "I mean, his own mother telling me I'm part of the family. Grandparents reminding me to not let go of love. It's all rather..."

"Fate?"

"I guess."

She put another log in the fire. "The time was never right for you or Dawson to say anything. It's one reason we continued to call you 'Dawson' and 'Joey'. When you wanted to tell him, he was dating oh what's her name, now and you couldn't. You thought they would marry. Remember?"

She and I both laughed in memory. "Yeah, I do. How could I have been so blind?"

"Look how long it took for me and James. The OTHER 'Dawson Leary' and 'Joey Potter'."

"True." My pager went off. "Man." I exclaimed. "I gotta get back to the hospital. You know where to find me if you need me, right?"

"You bet."

A part of me didn't want to wake up. I was having the most pleasant dream of Tariq. There he was, a white knight on a steed. If he had ever known that's how I pictured him a lot of the times, he would have laughed. He was never really one to get into Medieval images, except Monty Python and the Holy Grail

I checked my email and sure enough, there was one from Tariq. Excitedly, I opened it and was stunned at what I read.

Mo anam cara, As Sarge, Smoke, Angel and Dim are not around to read what I am writing to you, it's going to be chock full of sop. It gets hard around here to tell you sometimes of what I'm feeling. Seems everyone is reading everyone's emails (over shoulders, of course) or half listening to conversations on the phone. So, as this tent is mostly empty, I can now spill the contents of my heart out to you and tell you what I want to.

I wish I could see you face to face and tell you things that really could or should be face to face. It is only then that these words would have the effect I long for them to have. These are things that come from my heart, my soul and somehow, there's a part of me that feels they are cheapened by telling you like this, but being in a war, I don't know if I may have this opportunity...this chance again...so here goes! .plugs nose and dives head first.

I don't remember where I saw or heard this, but I hold it dear to my heart. A person is allowed only 3 great loves of their life. CiCi, you are my first and last. I don't want anyone else. You have an understanding of me that no one else, not even my parents, has. You are the keeper of the key to my heart and the guardian of my love.

If only I could fly, I would fly far, far away from all of the hustle and bustle of everyday life and fly away to be with you.

The other night, I got to dreaming about what my coming home to you would be like. It was so real that to wake up and find I was still in Iraq tore me apart. I had an opportunity later to sit and write something for you. I hope you like it.

The music is soft

Ambiance by candlelight

As you hold me close

I feel my heart start to take flight

Kisses soft and gentle on the cheek

Safely I'm held in your arms

Where I find no danger

But where I find refuge from harm

And there's not another place

That I would choose to be

The special bond we share

Was apparent from first stare

And the only thing I know

That I wish to know

Is that it is with you I belong

Your love as a guide

Your heart at my side

There's no way I could go wrong

And as you hold me, as slowly we dance,

With the music keeping time

My heart rests peacefully

Knowing that I am yours; you are mine

You're everything that I made a wish for

A definite dream come true

And there is a spiritual connection

Between me and you

Two souls, two hearts

Forever bound as one

Love too strong to break

Too strong of a bond

The unspoken words

Speaks volumes to the other heart

And the promises of a love

To never be torn apart.

I know that may be silly or whatever, but I thought of you; dancing with you in front of a fire. Seems that fate has finally played its hand and brought us where we really should be.

Cara...don't think this is the war talking. The war was simply fate's way of telling me to tell you what has been in my heart the past few years. I LOVE YOU!

I can say it a thousand times over and over, but could never tire of saying and even if I were to tell you a thousand times over and over, it would never seem to be enough.

I love you and I'll see you in three months! (Yes, we ARE counting the days! Two more months here and then the final month in Kuwait, getting debriefed!)

With all that I am,

Tariq

OKAY! I'm SOOO ready for these next three months to get over with! It was the first letter Tariq wrote where you could hear the frustrated exhaustion in his words. There were times I wanted to reach through the computer and hold him because you could tell he was homesick, but this email was frustration. Sometimes I wonder about the adequacy of our Officers. Lieutenant Hunter was bad, but this new one! Trying to think is hard. He doesn't sleep and therefore believes noone else does. Sgt. Scream, who's never been known to keep his mouth shut on anything, has said something. I told Scream, when I grow up, I want to be just like him: he always has a sense of respect when talking to an Officer, even if he doesn't like them. He's always polite, well...at least until he's forced to be impolite, but he's never wrong. That's what's amazing about him. He has these instincts. Dim one time teased Scream that he worked for the enemy and that's how he knew things. Scream ripped him up one side and spit him out the other. Dim was on latrine duty for a full month. When asked why, he said all he did was piss off his Sergeant.

We've got the world's most amazing Captain. Tariq's frustration was apparently fading as he continued to write on. Captain Baron. The Duke is what we call him. He's one of those that you believe that he managed to miss the lobotomy they must give all Officers and has never rescheduled. He may be the CO of this camp, but he lets the Sergeants pretty much run things, which is exactly how the NCOs like it.

Anyhow...sorry this one isn't more lovey-dovey, but there's not much time and I just needed an ear of someone not involved over here to listen.

Two and a half months and counting...

Tariq

I sighed heavily. Tariq so rarely complained about anything, that when he did, you paid attention. I'm sorry you are having to go through this. Believe me, when all is said and done, you'll come out the better for it. Right? Is that what I'm supposed to say? The closest I have is dealing with Dr. Camnecki, but she's not THAT bad. Tell your Sergeant and Captain that your family is thankful they're there...showing you the better side of Army personnel. .winking at you.

I would love to be able to meet them. Tell them they are UNDER ORDER to bring you home safe. If they don't, I'll personally kick their asses. .grinning broadly.

Keep your chin up and remember there's a lot of people here who are anxious for you to come home. My grandparents have already offered up their cabin.

Talk to you later.

All my love,

CiCi

Trying to find words for a situation I didn't know anything about more than the email was tough. As it was sent, I hoped I didn't put my foot too far in my mouth.

A couple days later, I got a letter from him.

Ciara, I wish there was more to report on from here, but there's not much going on here. Just writing you to let you know that I'm okay. Things are quieting down. There was a brief moment we thought that the action was going to pick up, but the insurgents don't seem to have much fight in them. I think things will get better here soon. Especially since they just had elections. Democracy is such a strange idea to the Iraqis. Some of them don't even want to vote because they think it's too complicated.

I just want to be done with all this when this tour is over...at least for a while. Combat is so much easier than the humanitarian side. Now, with us putting the insurgents on the run, we have to try to fix this area. That means schools, sanitation, and mosques. The guys videotaping it get pretty tired. We're providing security and we get tired. Just imagine how tired the guys doing the "REAL" work suffer!

Thanks for you encouraging words. It's nice to know that no matter what happens you're there for me.

Two months and counting...Tariq

The two months passed quicker than a snowball melting in a fire. I had told work that Gianni and I had a homecoming to attend and they were more than lenient. I stood in front of the mirror, wondering if the sundress was okay to wear.

"You look lovely, cara." Poppa smiled. "I know Tariq will be glad to see you and not give a ha'penny's head or a farthing's tail about what you're wearing."

"I know, Dadai. Still, I don't want to be too under or over dressed." I slipped the sandles on. "I'm just really nervous, Poppy."

"Why?"

"There's just me and Tariq now. There's no phone calls, letters or emails to hide behind. We now have to face everything we've admitted over the past few months and I'm scared he's going to realise that the war..."

"Don't you worry your head about it. He won't regret anything, save not telling you sooner." Poppa smiled. "Let's go. The Nassiri's are waiting."

We scanned the Soldiers standing at attention. I couldn't find Tariq. Tariq, by no stretch of the imagination, was a tall man. I looked at Yasmina, who apparently found him, for she was smiling and nudging Yusef. I followed her pointing finger and saw him. He was still and looked so handsome in his uniform. I couldn't wait for the Chaplain to finish and for the Soldiers to be dismissed.

Lisa sat next to me, as anxious to hold James as I was to hold Tariq. Once the word was given, the Soldiers let out a big and loud cheer and families descended upon the tarmac. Lisa wiped tears as she saw James walking towards her. I could see Tariq heading our way, but wanted his parents to be the first to greet him. After they exchanged hugs, he came over to me and gave me the biggest hug. He looked at me and smiled. For a brief moment, I wondered if my first instinct of him not meaning what he said so often in the emails, but then he kissed me.

If there had been a doubt, it was gone.