Chapter three: Time to think

I thought about it all day yesterday. My jaw, where he kissed me, still feels weird. I keep tracing the spot with the tips of fingers.

My stomach is fluttering. I feel like I swallowed about a hundred butterflies.

I've been walking around the tower, all afternoon. I know I shouldn't read into it. I push the thought out of my mind. This is Beastboy I'm talking about, I can't think about him like this. It's not right.

I can't get my thoughts off it though.

My cloak is wrapped around me, and my hood is over my head. I'm trying to conceal myself. I don't know if my emotions will contain themselves, much longer. So I guess it's reassuring to hide myself from everyone.

Starfire wants me to do something with her today. She asked me this morning if we could. I told her no.

She came back an hour later, seeing if I wanted to something then. I told her no again. Yet she came back again an hour later. So I told her to wait until this afternoon to get her to go away.

I regret it now. I expect her to be here at any moment. She was with Robin, last time I saw her. That kept her occupied for a while.

I saw him walking around all flustered just a second ago. I don't know what's up with him but he's been acting strangely.

When he saw me, he gave me an attempt at a smile but kept walking. I eyed him suspiciously. I know him and Beastboy haven't been getting along well. They see the world in two different ways, it was bound to happen eventually but they both need to accept it.

They had a particularly loud argument, yesterday. Beastboy was gone all day, and Robin was mad that he didn't tell anybody and he didn't take his communicator. I have a feeling there's more to it then that. Judging by the way they were yelling at each other.

I overheard them when I walked past Robin's room and he was lecturing Beastboy like he was a child.

I must admit I've noticed it too. Beastboy hasn't been himself. He's sleepy all the time and he keeps wandering around with this serious look on his face.

I get the feeling he's not content here anymore. Part of me knows that it shouldn't bother me. What's left, knows that it does anyway.

Starfire found me in hall outside my room. She smiled at me happily and bounced forward.

I don't know why she likes me so much. I guess that's just the way she is, she likes everyone.

"Friend!" she called happily as she approached me "We will-hang-out-now, yes?" she asked staring at me. I sighed heavily. My fate was inevitable. I was going to have to go with her eventually.

"Yeah, Whatever" I said rolling my eyes, mental praying to be rescued from.

"Hurray!" the girl called and pranced about cheerfully. She linked elbows with me and added "Beastboy will be happy as well!"

I froze, staring at her smiling face in shock "What?" I asked.

"Bestboy looked unhappy, so I invited him to come along with us" She chirped casually.

My eyes widened as she continued to drag me along. Hell no I was hanging around him…but then we walked into the kitchen, and there he was.

He was leaning against the counter with his hands in his pockets. He wasn't alone though. He was talking to Cyborg.

"Hey Star, hey Raven" They said together, noticing us. Cyborg gave us a wave and grinned. Starfire clapped her hands together happily.

"Are you coming with us as well, Cyborg?" she asked.

Cyborg nodded "Yeah, I'm up for some fun" he said.

We didn't go anywhere specific. We kind of just walked around the city. It was sunny outside and it was the perfect day to just hang out.

Cyborg and Starfire walked just in front of us. Beastboy walked along beside me, and tried to have a conversation. I don't know why he bothered, I didn't say much.

He told that he had that nightmare again. I looked at him funny. He just shrugged.

We walked along in silence. Cyborg and Starfire carried out a consistent conversation. Beastboy would laugh along when they said something funny but neither one of us was paying much attention.

I stared straight ahead of me. I had the urge to glance at him from the corner of my eye. I resisted though, in fear of being caught. The more I resisted though, the harder it was not to look.

I exhaled heavily, not quite a sigh, and pushed my cloak back, so that it hung from my shoulders kind of like a cape.

Beastboy bumped shoulders with me, to get my attention. I turned my eyes to him to see him smile at me. I fought the urge to smile back but failed.

His eye widened, at the unnatural sight of my smile but he didn't say anything. He looked in front of him again and held his smile.

I observed him for second longer. He was walking awfully close now, but I didn't say thing. I didn't really mind.

While we were walking, we didn't say anything and neither one of us made an action, but strangely out hands kind of fell together.

I mean, one second we were walking along side by side, and next…we were hand in hand. I didn't take his hand, and I'm almost positive he didn't take mine, but neither one of us pulled away.

I studied our interlocked fingers and then shifted my gaze up to his face, to find that he was doing the same.

When he looked at me, our gazes met. His eyes looked comforted, yet it was like they were asking me not to let go. So I didn't. He smiled at me and then gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

I don't know if Starfire noticed, if she did she didn't let on so, I doubt it. Cyborg though. He glanced back at us once and saw us. When he noticed he raised his eyebrow and then regarded Beastboy with a knowing smile and a thumbs up.

It was just getting dark when our communicators went off. Starfire's hand jumped to hers first and she answered it with a resounding "Robin!"

We all stopped to watch her as she talked to him. Sure she liked everyone, but she didn't like anyone as much as she liked Robin.

I heard a muffled "Where are all you guys?" from Robin but I couldn't make out the rest of what he said.

Starfire spoke with him for about ten minuets "we went outside!" She replied "…no….no…of course, you were asleep though…I'm sorry…yes…Robin…" a sad look crossed her face. He'd probably said something that hurt her feelings. He said something again, his voice was quiet.

"YES!" Starfire replied to whatever he said and then nodded and clicked off the communicator. She turned to us "We have to go home."

-

I went to my room when we got home. I didn't bother saying anything to anyone. I just walked away.

I'm lying in bed but I can't fall asleep. My mind is racing. I need to think. I haven't had enough time for that and I need to work some stuff out in my head.

I groan and glance at my wardrobe…do I want to go to Nevermore? The mirror is in the wardrobe, but I can't make myself budge. I decide against it for the time being.

I close my eyes and wait for sleep to claim me. I'm not really tired though. I open my eyes and search for the clock on my wall…it's only nine thirty-two.

I get out of bed. I walk to my bookshelf and pick up a book with a red cover. I've read this one already. I've read all these books already. I don't care really. I take it over to my bed.

I sit down and turn on a small light beside the bed. It's not very bright, just bright enough for me to see the words.

I open the book and let the words take me away. I loose myself in the story and before long I loose track of time.

A knock at the door startles me. I don't answer it straight away. I watch it blankly and sure enough, another knock follows.

Setting my book down, I get up and cross the room. Gradually I extend my arm and clasp the door knob. Twisting it, I tug the door open just far enough to see who it is.

I'm not overly surprised to see Beastboy standing there.

He doesn't seem to notice that I have opened the door. "What do you want?" I ask coldly. He jumps a little and veers his gaze toward me.

A grin makes its way onto his face. He doesn't say anything.

I repeat myself and glare at him impatiently.

He scratches the back of his head "Uh wow," he says through his grin "Could you open the door a bit more?" he asks.

I stare at him some more. I don't answer him and after a couple seconds, I think he caught on that I wasn't going to.

"Okay, well I just…" he shuffles his feet and puffs out his cheeks as he exhales heavily. He stands there for several long seconds, contemplating, I suppose. Seeing this as a waste of time, I shake my head and close door in his face.

"Hey," He shouts through the door "that wasn't very nice." I walk away from the door, ignoring him. He can be quiet annoying sometimes…still, I don't know why I'm being so cold. It's my nature I guess.

"Come on Rae" he whines and thumps the door. I want to get up, but I don't. I have to put an end to these feelings. I consider this one step toward letting go.

"I was hopping the two of us could talk…" he says softly. I can feel it. My insides are churning at the hurt in his voice. I pick up my book and start flipping through the pages. I can't find my spot, that's ok I can't really concentrate anyway, not with him standing out there.

"Rae, you're the only one, I think I can talk to right now…" he tells me. I'm going to explode. Whatever is going on between the two of us has to stop. I throw my book across the room. My frustration is starting to show. I hear something some where in my room crack. Clink. It's a dull sound, it doesn't echo, it doesn't linger in the air, but my eyes widen knowingly.

"Fine…" Beastboy say. He's giving up. "I'm sorry if I bothered you." My heart sinks as I hear the sound of his foot steps walking away. I can't help it. I wish I could explain it to him. He should know better though, there can't be anything between us.

Little moments don't mean anything. I tell that to myself continuously…

End of Chapter.

You know what I wish you could do with fanfiction…I wish I could put in background music. If you think about, half the things we see in movies, wouldn't be half as dramatic if there wasn't any background music. It's weird, when you're watching the movie, you don't really think about it. Like where is the music coming from? and why can't those people hear it? That doesn't happen in real life and yet the music makes the movie seem more real. Well it does for me.

Well anyway tell me what you think about this chapter. I'm trying to make the characters fit their personalities better now. Can you tell? Don't forget to be honest.