I smiled. "It wasn't anything bad or anything."

Chris laughed. "This is Tariq. Practical joker supreme. Don't try to shit me that it wasn't a bad thing. After the blow up dolls, I'd believe he'd never do anything innocent."

"This girl had a huge crush on Tariq and she was borderline obsessive. Her crush on him made him rather uncomfortable. Wherever he was, she was there. Except like the boys showers and such, but we near expected her to be." I sipped my coffee. "During the two weeks of band camp, she was stuck on him like white is to rice."

"What instrument does he play?"

"Sax. He said it was a sexy instrument to play. He was always thinking of ways to get the girls. I think he got the idea from that cult 80's movie 'Better Off Dead' and decided that was the instrument he wanted to play."

"You?"

"Sax."

"Cause Tariq did?"

"Actually no. I started playing a year before he did. My father plays the sax and taught me how to play."

"So, what happened with this girl?" Chris's eyes playfully batted and I could tell it was out of character for him to be so joky.

"Ah, yes. Allison. Well, Riqy started to get uncomfortable with her stalking him. One night, he snuck into the girls' cabin, took her clarinet, put the mouth piece in the toilet and then back in the case."

"That shit."

"Yeah, but still. He was hoping that she would know he did it and stop stalking him."

"Did she?" Chris leaned forward.

"For the rest of band camp."

Chris looked disappointed. "I thought you were going to go with some story on how he managed to make it look like a dick or something funny."

"That was later."

Chris choked on his coffee. "You mean...?"

"Yeah. It was during the school year he did that and he got suspended for it, too."

"What did he do?"

"Took it while she was using the bathroom and put a condom on it, with the words scribbled 'Allison's first boyfriend' and put it back." I smiled.

"He was a meanie." Chris smiled back.

"He learned to be. He's so shy that he was an easy pick for the bullies. He learned to fight back at an early age."

Chris nodded his head in acknowledgement. "That's why he was able to hold his own with Smoke."

"The fact that he was Muslim didn't help either." I sipped some coffee. "The kids thought he was some sort of freak and picked endlessly on him."

"I assume you helped kick ass?"

I smiled. "He wouldn't so I did. I got a lot of suspensions and bruises for protecting that boy's ass."

"And now he protected yours from that man at the diner." Chris rolled his head.

"The Army and the war have changed him."

Chris looked at me grinning ear to ear. "Tariq must have a thing for toilets."

"Why?" I sat back.

"Well, we had porta potties at base camp and well, Dim went into take a shit, and Tariq and Smoke huddle together and you hear them laughing. They hand Angel Tariq's video camera, right? Suddenly, without warning, the two of them run head on at full speed to the porta potty Dim's in and tackle it, baring Dim's ass for the rest of the camp to see." Chris started laughing out loud. "Dim didn't speak to either of them for the rest of the night." Chris was now laughing so hard that tears formed in his eyes. "The rest of the night, guys were slapping Dim's ass and said that it was a nice ass. Jesus, it was funny."

"Sorry I missed it. By your reaction now, it had to be really funny." I laughed at the image of a bare ass in the desert.

"That's what happens when you're bored. A lot of people think we're fighting every minute of every day. The truth is that we're back at camp, bored off our asses more than we're in combat and there's too much tension and energy. Guys did some crazy shit."

"I can imagine." I looked at my watch. "I gotta head back to work, but I'd love to meet up with you for dinner or something and hear some more stories from the war."

He gave me a hug. "When's your shift over?"

"Midnight."

"See you then."

I laughed so hard. "You're kidding me? How in the world did you manage to pull that one off?"

Chris shrugged. "Still don't know. But, Hunter was pissed off. None of us liked him, really, so this was like karma or something. The funniest part was it was Dim that did it. He never really struck any of us as the practical joker type, you know?"

I smiled. "Tariq never mentioned these things in any email or letter or call."

"Of course not." Chris seemed surprised that I mentioned that. "The hardest thing is to tell your loved ones about the shit you pull when you're bored in Iraq."

"I guess that the war had more of a profound impact on Tariq than originally thought." I sighed.

"Come on. He doesn't just overnight become a practical joker. He's had to done more here than just the condom on the clarinet." His eyes stared into my very soul.

I sighed. "Well, he loved the show 'Home Improvement' and he swore he'd be like 'Tim Taylor', ya know? And he set about doing it, although he'd make other people like 'Tim'. He got his older brother good one time."

"Which older brother?"

"Amir."

"Oh." Chris seemed serious now. "He spoke of his older brother. Very fondly."

"Yeah, Amir was Tariq's hero." I smiled. "Amir Nassiri was one of the nicest people anyone ever met. He had gone back to Iraq and never came home. It was shortly before the attacks that we found out he'd been murdered while in Iraq."

"Tariq told us about that. Believes it was the human shredder that we found." Chris spoke lightly.

I choked on my coffee. "You mean it really exists?"

"Yeah. We were in an abandoned house and Tariq fell through the floor and saw it. Never saw someone so shook up." Chris looked around. "It was as though it...Anyway, what did he do to Amir?"

I smiled painfully. Amir was one of my closest friends, despite being 5 years older. His death made a hole in everyone's life even 5 years after the fact. "I had a slumber party and with my parents out of town for their anniversary, Amir was the chaperone. Tariq came over because he wanted to be with Amir. So, here we are, like 13 or 14 and Amir falls asleep on the couch. Well, we're young and easily amused so Tariq takes my dad's shaving cream, puts it in Amir's hands and starts to tickle his nose. Amir wakes up with this shaving cream all over his face."

"Did he exact revenge?" Chris snorted.

"Actually, yeah. I think for about a month Tariq had a permanent marker mustache and beard." I giggled. "Amir taught Riqy everything about practical jokes."

Chris smiled. "Sounds like my brother. Paul was something else." He looked at me. "There was this one time that he locked me out of the house. I was mad at the time, but looking back at it, it was really funny. I think he kept me locked out for all of 15 minutes before letting me in and the reason he locked me out was so he could finish a surprise for me."

"What was the surprise?" I asked.

Chris smiled. "I wanted a GI Joe. Don't laugh." He said as I started smirking.

"You don't strike me as a doll type of guy." I laughed.

"GI Joe is NOT a doll." He got defensive.

"Face it. You can buy Humvees and tanks and anything else for a GI Joe. Were you able to buy GI Joe's training camp?" I teased.

Chris pursed his lips to keep from laughing. "Are you going to let me finish?"

"I see you in a different light now." I continued to laugh. "Should I go out and buy you a My Little Pony now for your GI Joe to ride around the desert on?"

"Laugh if you will, but my brother got me all sorts of GI Joe shit. And that was his surprise. He had mowed yards until he could afford this GI Joe bed sheet set. Complete with comforter and pillowcases. I was in GI Joe heaven."

I could no longer hold the laughter. "Oh man! Do you know the damage that could be done if this were to be leaked to your men?"

He gently kicked me under the table. "Guess I'm going to have quiet you then." His voice was soft enough to make me stop laughing. I looked at him smiling at me and I smiled back.