The Source of Power
By: Yamiko #7
Greetings, fellow earthlings. I am so brain-dead right now it's not even funny. (Most of the time, it is. I say some of the stupidest things when I'm brain-dead.)
Chapter Six is here, finally. School is back in swing, and - do I really need to say it? - IB has eaten my life once again. Every once in a while it spits a piece out, and I transmute it back to life and waste it writing this fic when I should be doing something a little more productive, like sleeping. ("Sleep?" What is this "sleep" of which you speak? I know it not.) Shows how badly I want to get this fic done and how much I love my readers. Yes, that means you.
By the way, for those of you who are confused, interested, or just want more random reading material, there will be small explanations of Power Sharing, glamour, and anything else people question me about during the course of this fic at the end of this chapter. Originally Chapter Six was going to be a fic-style author paragraph explaining these things (and giving me a break), but I decided that I didn't want to run the risk of getting kicked off so I scrapped that idea. There really are only so many times you can make Chrno fall off a chair before it stops being funny. (That number, by the way, is somewhere in the triple digits.) n.n
That is way more than enough out of me. Time for Chapter Six to begin!
Last Chapter...
"So," he continued, "now that we know what the problem is, how do we fix it?"
"Well.." Shader drew out the word, obviously thinking rapidly. "Power Sharing is like any other addictive drug. The only real cure..."
Chapter Six: Withdrawal
"...is withdrawal," Chrno finished. "Complete cold turkey."
It had been nearly an hour before he had been able to reactivate his glamour and had returned to the Order. He was now in the process of repeating his conversation with Shader (minus the coffee jokes and his inability to stay in a chair) to Rosette and Joshua, who had insisted on hearing the entire story.
"So that's it?" Rosette looked surprised. "I don't need to do anything special?"
Chrno shrugged. "Survive."
The surprised look vanished, quickly replaced with something that bordered on visible sarcasm and fear. "That was reassuring," she spat.
"It wasn't meant to be," Chrno said in a relatively calm tone, approaching her until she stood only inches in front of him. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. "This is," he whispered softly in her ear.
The tension that had gripped her body for the past few hours fled, and she slumped against him. "I'm scared," she whispered, a quiet confession for his ears only.
"I know," he replied, gently rubbing a sensitive spot on the nape of her neck. Normally she loved it when he did this. The fact that he wasn't getting any reaction...well, it didn't exactly surprise him, but it definitely worried him.
"Withdrawal?" Even Joshua had dropped his usually-cocky attitude, his voice betraying his worry for his big sister. He had seen somebody go through withdrawal before...from morphine, he thought it was...and it was anything but pretty. "What's...do you know what'll happen?"
"I have a vague idea," Chrno admitted. "There was a previous case on record, and Shader looked it up for me."
"So we're not flying blind here." Joshua breathed a small sigh of relief. He'd breathe a bigger one once he actually knew what the withdrawal process entailed.
"Yeah. Good to know I'm not the only person stupid enough to have done this." Sometime when Chrno hadn't been looking, Rosette had calmed down. He breathed a sigh to match Joshua's. Thank you God.
"So what do I have to look forward to."
Chrno sighed again, this one anything but relieved. "Nothing good."
She couldn't say she hadn't been warned. After all, Chrno had told her what to expect.
"Ohhhh..."
But still...
"Agh..."
Why did it have to hurt so damn much?
"Ow. Ow! DAMN IT!"
It wasn't even like the sharp, stabbity pains that came and went. This felt like her entire body was one big bruise and some masochistic son of a dog was pressing on it. Constantly. If she could have moved, she would have killed somebody.
Which, come to think of it, was probably the reason everybody was out of arm's reach.
Not that there were many people in here to begin with. Once they had told Sister Kate what was going on (and survived the ensuing apocalypse), she had allowed Rosette to move into a single room at the end of the hall until everything was over. The only reason most people came down by these vacant rooms was the occasional bout of spring cleaning. Aside from that...well, there was a reason these rooms were vacant.
Her only steady visitors were a nurse who routinely checked up on her "progress" (she was really starting to hate that word), Anna, Mary, and Claire, who came to catch her up on the latest gossip (a welcome break from the Progress Nurse), and Joshua and Azmaria, who came every day for hours at a stretch. Everybody else was - yet another word Rosette was beginning to detest - "busy." Nobody else came by.
Chrno, on the other hand, never left.
Every time she turned around, he was there. She wondered if he left at all - surely he went and did something while she slept. She'd though about asking him, but her common sense had finally managed to recover from the barrage of idiot acts of the last week and prevented her of asking such things of her...her...
What on Earth was she supposed to call him? "Boyfriend" was too casual and gossipy, "lover" was too...serious, almost...what exactly was he to her?
She filed the question under "Things to Think About When You Actually Have the Time" and went back to the more pressing matter at hand - being in pain.
"Are you alright?" Chrno asked gently, beginning to reach out to her. He caught himself, stopped short, and put his hand back in his lap. Damn.
Not allowed to touch her. Not for a while, at least.
It was what Shader had told him, and what he had passed on to Rosette. Complete withdrawal from Power Sharing lasted for a week, peaking at the sixth day and finally passing on the seventh. If Rosette had any physical contact with a demon before then, the dying demonic powers in her body would literally suck the astral out of the demon, leaving the demon in a world of hurt and Rosette back at the beginning in terms of the withdrawal process.
Seven days. There was something vaguely biblical about that. He didn't really feel like contemplating that now. He had done a bit too much contemplation lately anyway, although most people would argue that Chrno's particular style of introspection wasn't so much "contemplation" as it was "beating himself up."
How did I manage to miss this? I'm supposed to take care of her! Damn it!
Seven long days.
It was only day four and he was already going crazy.
Not being able to touch her wasn't what bothered him. He knew he could live without that. He'd done it too, for several months after Aion's defeat.
Then again, that was before they were...well..."a couple" sounded almost casual, but "lovers" had deep implications that he wasn't sure he could face just yet...blame it on sleep deprivation or the fact that concern and lack of patience were making him crazy, he just couldn't find a word.
And hadn't he dreamed about her during those months? Too many dreams not to be taken seriously...
But that wasn't the point.
He could live without the physical contact, of that he was sure.
What bothered him...no, what frustrated him...what drove him absolutely out of his mind with worry was watching her suffer and being unable to do anything to help her, to ease her pain.
He felt...helpless.
He had been helpless to save Mary, helpless to save Rosette that day in Eden. He'd already lost her once.
The pain of withdrawal had found her even during the night, and she cried out in her sleep. Even during his own rest, he heard it. He relived that horrible day in Eden over and over again in his dreams.
Helpless.
God, but he hated the feeling.
Seven days.
How was it that fifty years could pass in the blink of an eye, yet these seven days were the longest week of his life?
Chalk it up to being one of life's little mysteries.
He sighed and settled in for another long spell of...nothing. At least Rosette was asleep-
Wait, she was asleep? When did that happen?
A quiet smile spread across his face. She really could fall asleep anywhere. Talk about life's little mysteries...actually, in this case, it was more like small favors.
Maybe sleep was the right idea here. He leaned back in his seat and was out ten seconds later.
Two minds, one shared thought:
Oh please God, let it stop.
The sixth day had finally arrived. Rosette had been crying and writhing in pain since ten that morning. Azmaria and Joshua had arrived as soon as it started, along with a very concerned trio of Anna, Mary, and Claire. All had stayed, worried beyond belief.
Chrno was hunched against the back of his chair, head tucked to his chest, hands buried in his hair, shoulders shaking. He'd called her name time and time again, his only answer her constant cries of pain.
He'd given up, curled up in his chair, willing time to pass, for this endless day to be over. It had been an eternity since then. Or had it?
He glanced at the clock.
Four hours.
He lowered his head again, trying in vain to block out the little voice whose whispers were louder than Rosette's screams. Helpless, it told him. Helpless.
Another eternity passed. He hazarded another look at the clock.
Four minutes.
God damn!
Rosette finally understood the meaning of the phrase, "blind with pain." She couldn't see, couldn't hear...if her body was working at all, she sure as hell wasn't aware of it. All she knew was this hellish little world she'd made for herself. The worst part? She was alone.
No!
She railed against the thought. Something had made sure...something...no, someone...
Chrno...
("I'll be with you."
"What?" She was confused, to say the least. Wasn't he here with her already?
"Shader told me..." He sighed. "Shader told me that I wouldn't be able to touch you starting tomorrow. Something to do with the withdrawal."
"Oh." She'd figured she'd be able to curl up in his lap and wait for it to be over. It looked like it wouldn't be that simple.
"So that's why..." He wrapped his arms gently around her waist and pulled her into a tight embrace. "That's why I'm telling you this now. So you'll know come tomorrow."
He shifted, one arm still around her waist, the other following the line of her back. "I'll be with you." His voice was quiet but firm. "I'll be with you. I promise.")
He promised, she reminded herself forcefully. No matter what, he promised...what's that thing he always says?
It took her agony-numbed brain several seconds to remember the phrase. Finally, she drudged it out of the recesses of her mind.
What was it...? Oh, yeah.
I don't make promises I don't keep.
He was there.
A gentle warmth spread through her body. The pain was still there, but it wasn't quite so...unbearable. She wasn't going to lose her mind to it anymore.
She relaxed slowly, clinging to that presence, that warmth. Finally, slowly, she fell asleep.
Well, this certainly felt weird. He hadn't slept in his own bed in...a week, he thought. Yeah. A week.
He yawned and rolled over, glancing at the clock. Seven a.m. Hunh. He really did sleep better here.
Rosette had finally fallen asleep after a half-dozen more eternities (which added up to about seven hours), a welcome signal that the worst had passed. She would be fine.
Once they were sure of this, the first thing Anna, Mary, and Claire had done was kick him out with instructions to "get some sleep!"
"But...but..."
"No arguments!" They had pointed their guns at him, threatening to - they had used some cute euphemism, what was it? - ah yes - "squirt metal" at him if he refused to comply.
One run-in with an errant Gospel had been more than enough to last him for the rest of this lifetime and well into the next. He went to his room.
That had been...last night? No, night before last. That would make this day eight.
He bounded out of bed and sprinted down the hall, nearly running over a sister returning from her night shift. "Oh, jeez!" He screeched to a stop and turned around. "Sorry!"
"It's okay," she laughed, waving him on. The story of Rosette's Power Sharing had spread through the convent this past week. Everybody knew what day it was. They'd all resolved to be well away from Rosette's room that morning. After all, as entertaining as it would be, nobody really wanted to interrupt a romantic scene.
Of course, Chrno was completely unaware of this.
"Thanks!" He turned back around and ran the rest of the distance, this time a little more careful to watch where he was going. He finally reached Rosette's temporary room and leaned against the door frame, trying to catch his breath. He felt like a kid at Christmas.
...No, not really. There was a little less excitement in this feeling and a lot more relief.
He slowly cracked the door open and entered, moving towards the bed. Of course she was still asleep...it was seven in the morning. More importantly, it was Rosette at seven in the morning.
He smiled and pulled the eastern blinds open, letting the pinks and oranges of the spring sunrise flood the room. Things were finally getting back to normal. He hoped.
Rosette yawned slowly and opened her eyes. "Mm?"
The smile...changed, somehow. From happiness to relief, gaining almost a tender quality. "Good morning, dear heart."
"Chrno..." Rosette rolled over. "What day is it?"
That stopped him short. He'd been thinking of the days in terms of numbers, not names or weeks. "Um...well...it's been eight days..."
"That's what I wanted to know." She sat up slowly. "Gad, I ache."
"The smile changed again. Mischievous. "I can fix that."
"Really." Rosette now had a smile to match Chrno's. "Prove it."
"Don't need to tell me twice." The smile was now a grin. "Scoot over."
Rosette grinned and scooted. Chrno sat down next to her, pulled her into his lap, and wasted no time finding her lips with his. Sure he could live without physical contact. Didn't mean he didn't miss it.
Several minutes passed before either of them remembered the need to breathe.
They broke apart. Rosette leaned back against Chrno's arms and laughed.
Chrno blinked. Even surprise couldn't banish the smile from his face. "What the...?"
"Oh, quit asking." Rosette laughed again and threw her arms around his neck. "Let's do that again."
She's lost it competed for space with Well, I guess I'm not the only one who missed this in Chrno's mind, finally settling on Maybe that's a good thing. Then they kissed again and he wasn't thinking anymore.
Holy cow, I'm finally done! Unbelievable! It only took me a month start-to-finish to complete this thing...and I finish it on Super Bowl Sunday (between laughing at the commercials, yelling at that HORRIBLE call the ref made first half (he did SO not have that touchdown!), and watching the Rolling Stones live. Which is actually really fun. One wouldn't think a forty-some-odd year old band made up of sixty-some-odd year old guys would be enjoyable. One would be wrong there. Go figure.
And now I owe you all one heck of an explanation.
Here's part one: I HAVE BEEN DEAD FOR THIS PAST MONTH. I was told I'd have to write one paper for history. Then I found out that, because of something my previous English teacher neglected to tell our class (we switched teachers at semester), I had to redo my World Lit paper, which gets sent straight to IB for ten percent of our English grade. Oh-kay. Then I find out our Group Four science project is also due at the end of January. That's three major papers, in addition to regular math, chem, English, and history homework, as well as scholarship applications and all the other various responsibilities I have at home. And I had a cold and felt like crap for a couple of days. I have gone through a lot of Mountain Dew this month, as well as done a lot of twitching.
So that's my excuse. General dead-ness on my part. That and the fact that I had a terrible time trying to write this scene, especially day six. (Moan) Oh well, at least that's over with.
Now for the glamour explanation.
First, I have a word origin desk calendar (and I love it!), so here's the explanation from that. "Glamor: Television and movies may get most of the attention in modern times, but, in earlier eras, the written word was the ultimate form of power. This word began with the Greek term gramma, meaning "something written." In Middle English, this became gramary, referring to learning or the study of language. Over time, gramary became glamour, the meaning narrowing to refer to a specific kind of writing, that associated with magic and magical spells. By the 1800s, the reference shifted again, referring to enchantment or "magical beauty," from which the modern meaning arose." Whew! Extensive, that, but very thorough.
When I refer to glamour, I'm talking about the enchanted beauty thing. (I'm taking the Laurell K. Hamilton definition here.) Chrno is always in his full demon form when he has his horns. He exerts a certain amount of Astral to make him look/feel/seem human. This look can be modified (for example, he could change hair or eye color), but it requires more Astral to change the look from its normal form. Basically, glamour is so natural to demons that they only ever think about it when they drop it, exposing their full demon form. For all intents and purposes, glamour is one of the strongest things a demon can do with Astral, simply because it is maintained almost constantly, 24/7/365. That would be why breaking someone's glamour is such a shock and an insult, as well as being a show of strength.
As for Chrno in his smaller form...well, that's tough. n.n' I think that's just what his body reverts to when completely stripped of extraneous astral. There may still be some glamor (because how else can you explain his eyes changing color?), but not nearly as much, simply because he doesn't have the Astral to afford it.
The explanation for Power Sharing is much simpler. Power Sharing for the human is like having horns (think Joshua), only with a dependance on the demon providing Astral and without the side effect of going completely wacko.
Hopefully that explanation works for ya. If you still have any questions, put them in your reviews and I'll respond as best I can. Y'know, next time I manage to resurface from the Cult of IB and actually check my e-mail.
Just to warn you, the next chapter should be relatively short. I wrote you six whole pages here, not including Authoress Blurbs: I think I deserve a break in the form of a shorter chapter. That, and Chapter Seven wasn't ever going to be very long anyway. No preview for the chapter, either - I want to finish watching the game. (Darn you Broncos for losing the Finals! In that case, go Seahawks! Let's see how much of an idiot I look like tomorrow morning! Woo hoo!)
...Waaaaay too much Mountain Dew this weekend. Nowhere near enough sleep. Y'know, like usual. n.n Anyway...Thanks for reading, sorry for the unreasonably long wait, please review (hopeful grin - we're still trying for the hopeless dream of 100!), and see ya next chapter!