Those Eyes That Burn

Chapter 2

By Tiger 5/4/06

A/N: Thank you to Rhonda, leggylover03 for the wonderful beta job!

Severus walked into his room intending to rest. It had been a trying day. He wasn't sure which was worse, trying to prevent his classroom from being blown up while teaching potions, or trying to prevent himself and several dozen bratty children from blowing each other up. He decided on the latter. There were always a few that he felt he could be rid of, and class would be much smoother this way.

He went on to prepare his nightly cup of tea, a bit of this, a bit of that steeped in boiling hot water. As he did so, he pondered on what the headmaster had said to him. Was Dumbledore right? Had he been so blinded with hatred for Potter that he couldn't even see Lily anymore?

Taking the tea with him to put on his night table, he felt a sudden chill in the air, followed by a sudden gloominess and warmth. He shrugged it off thinking that it was his own foolishness causing him to feel chilly. It wasn't as if it weren't always cold in his dungeons.

"Of all the people I thought would act like a child, I never pictured it being you, Severus," a sad voice spoke from behind him. He stood still in shock for a moment. That voice…it was a voice he never expected to hear again. He whirled around to face glowing green eyes.

"Lily," he breathed, eyes wide open. She stood before him in all of her youthful beauty, literally only a beam of translucent light. He wanted to reach out to her, to touch her, and hope that his mind was not playing tricks with him. He could tell that she was very much alive, though it appeared only in spirit. "What are you doing here? You're dead!" He did suppose that the second statement was rather obvious.

"There are some things even magical folk cannot understand, this is one of them," she calmly explained to him, as she had done so many times in the past. Her eyes hardened as she looked closer at him.

"I heard your conversation with Dumbledore," she accused. "How could you, Severus? How could you? I asked you to protect my son, not hurt him! What if it were me? Would you treat me the same way?" She fought the urge to beat her fists against his chest, as if that would do any good.

Her words stung him. Though she was only a specture, the words still stung as much as they would have if she were alive. A slap in the face would have hurt less, he concluded. He never cared about the opinions of others, only hers. She was the epitome of perfection: beautiful, intelligent, kind even to the bastard that he was. She cared. Lily cared, and only asked that he extend the same kindess to her own self's extension in the form of her son.

"What does it matter who the father is? Harry is my son, Severus! And he would have been yours if you hadn't turned your back on me!" she yelled at him, her face and voice full of hurt and pain.

"I didn't turn my back on you! Your precious James Potter and his friends did that!" he snarled at the specter. He ran his fingers through his hair.

"Funny, I thought that you loved me enough to stand with me through that." Lily looked at him sadly, with her piercing emerald eyes. "I would have thought that you would care for Harry because he is a part of me."

Severus couldn't say anything, too numb to do much more than stare at her eyes, as they looked back at him, filled with anger and pain. Vaguely, he recalled that he had seen the same expression in those same eyes a few hours beforehand during his Potions class. Potter's eyes. Green emerald Lily's eyes. Lily's son. Her son. The boy could have been his so long ago had he chosen the boy. Severus felt a wave of guilt wash over him. She always made him feel this way, guilty, until he set things right.

"I-I-" he stammered, not knowing quite what to say to her.

"Forget it," she said, her eyes glistening. "I thought you had a heart. Apparently, I was wrong." She turned to leave him, however specters were supposed to leave. She couldn't bear to be in the same room as the man who hurt her only child so.

"Don't go," Came a strangled whispered from behind her. Severus' fingers ran through her shoulders as he momentarily forgot the fact that she was only a ghost, as if that would keep her from leaving.

"Funny," Lily replied, "I seem to recall saying those words to you, and you never came back to me." She brushed past his fingers. She couldn't feel much, only that they were warm. She almost shivered at his touch, but then remembered Harry. Lily sighed and turned around. She couldn't leave him like this.

Severus looked into her glowing green eyes—Potter's eyes—he pushed the thought away.

"I'm sorry," Severus whispered to her, unable to face her sad, accusing eyes.

"So am I, Severus," she answered softly. She reached out and only then remembered she could not truly touch him. Instead, she blew him a kiss.

He watched, helpless as she went from translucent to transparent, unable to stop her from leaving him yet again. He felt as if she had died all over again. Grudgingly, he allowed himself to cry one tear for her. He stood in the middle of the room before painfully putting himself to bed. If he cared to open his eyes at all, he would have noticed a pair of bright green eyes watching over him as he slept.

"You still love him, don't you?" Lily turned around to see James Potter leaning in the doorway.

"Get out of here, James!" She hissed at him, turning away from the man.

"Figures, no answer to that question," He shrugged his shoulders.

"How many times do we need to have this conversation?" She could see his hurt, and she was sorry that she was the cause of it.

He put up his hand. "I know, I'm sorry," Lily nodded at him and he left. She looked down at Severus' face, it was troubled.

He would have been yours if you hadn't turned your back on me…her words echoed in Severus' head as he slept.