Disclaimer: I didn't do it! I swear it wasn't me! You cant PROVE anything!

Chapter 2

Announcer: It's round two in the final section of the competition to find out who is Konoha's Sexiest Teacher! This part of the contest is the question and answer round. Each of the three remaining contestants will be given a question that they must answer, and they will be graded (no pun intended) on their responses. The questions were made up by the audience, the ones here were selected from among the judges' favorites. Okay, first up, Umino Iruka.

Iruka, waiting for his question, has such a look of innocence on his face that the Iruka fangirls (which include two of the judges) have to be physically restrained from jumping him them and there.

Announcer: Iruka-sensei, your question is: 'In graphic detail, explain what exactly your relationship is with Hatake Kakashi.'

Iuka: (unsure of what to make of the 'question') There is nothing between Kakashi-san and I, and that wasn't even technically a question.

(the Iruka and Kakashi fangirls are unsure whether to be happy or disappointed by this—the Gai fangirls could care less and are quietly snoring)

Announcer: Hatake Kakashi, your question is: 'Do you know Uchina Sasuke's number, and if so will you give it to me? I'll love you forever. XOX—From SasukeLover69.

Iruka: At least part of that was a question.

Kakashi: (looking right at the only girl in the audience with a 'Uchina Rules' flag and winking) Sure I know his number, it was in the student directory. If you ask me though, you can do much better, the boy's a little moody. Well it's 713—

At this point, Sasuke seemingly materializes from thin air, and holds a kunai to his teacher's throat.

Sasuke: Say it, and your dead old man.

(Kakashi fangirls cry out in unison: 'He's not old! He's only twenty-six!)

Kakashi delivers his trade mark move (a Thousand Years of Pain), and Sasuke is sent flying.

Kakashi: (with a smile for the delusional Sasuke fangirl) How about I give you the number after the show?

(the Sasuke fangirl does a happy snoopy dance)

Announcer: Now, Master Gai…

Gai: (with a triumphant punch to the air) Yes!

Announcer: (a little weirded out by Gai's enthusiasm) Okay…your question is: 'As a Tai-jitsu master you are in the peak of condition (all the Gai fangirls concur with piercing squeals), what can I do to improve my own bodily health?

Iruka: Wow, a legitimate question.

Kakashi: Shut up, Iruka, or I won't let you be seme tonight.

(Kakashi/Iruka fangirls melt into a huge pile of ecstatically screaming goo, over which Iruka's incredulous protestations go unheard)

Announcer: So, Master Gai, what's your answer?

Gai: (striking another 'nice guy' pose, with the sound of waves crashing in the distance, and blinding a few of the camera crew with the sparkle from his teeth) It's simplicity itself. Wake up and go to bed early, eat only nutritious foods, exercise, and stay away from bad habits!

Gai offered to make a personalized work out schedule for whomever had submitted the question. The lonely Gai fangirl judge, who had broken the rules and submitted the question herself, deluged the judges' table once again with a gushing nose bleed.

Announcer: Stay tuned, Konoha for the final round, where our judges will finally decide who is Konoha's Sexiest Teacher!

A/N: Thank you for sticking with me this far! Ya'll are all wonderful. And did you know that Spell Check doesn't recognize the word 'ya'll?'