Disclaimer: Okay, they don't belong to me. All except Master Gai--he's mine.
Chapter 4
Announcer: Sorry for the wait, Konoha, but our judges were unable to find a winner before the end of last night's program! But today they have the answer to the question who is Konoha's Sexiest Teacher!
(an enthusiastic cheer from the audience)
The contestants wait on stage, a spotlight over each of them. No one knows who will win. Iruka is the most beautiful, with an innocence that simply begs to be taken away, Kakashi, while he has the disadvantage of no one being able to see his face, makes up for it with a distinctly come-hither attitude, and Gai, though weird and fashion challenged, has the body of a Greek god. A score board is hanging above the stage, displaying the current scores.
Iruka: 0 Kakashi: 0 Gai: -10
Announcer: Are you ready, Konoha, to see the final scores!
(the crowd shouts out 'Yes!')
I can't hear you!
(the audience does not find the announcer's attempt at being cute funny. The Gai fangirls raise their remaining cabbages and carrots, ready to throw)
Announcer: (speaking very fast) And here they are!
The board shows the judges decision:
Iruka: 90 Kakashi: 100 Gai: 92
The Iruka fangirls burst out into tears and hug each other, trying to comfort themselves, the Gai fangirls pelt the announcer with their rotten vegetables, and the Kakashi fangirls cross their arms, looking smug.
Sasuke: (storming onto the stage) This contest was rigged!
(everything is suddenly quiet as everyone stares at Sasuke)
Sasuke: (pointing an accusing finger at his teacher) Kakashi-sensei slept with the judges!
Sasuke went to each of the judges in turn, pointing to an identically placed hicky on their necks. The Iruka and Gai fangirl judges look scandalized.
1st Iruka fangirl judge: I would never! I was with Iruka last night!
(the judge claps her hand over her mouth)
2nd Iruka fangirl judge: Liar, Iruka was with me!
(an all out cat fight ensues, with a very confused Iruka looking on)
Sasuke: Kakashi-sensei went to each one of these girls' houses last night, disguising himself as Iruka or Gai when necessary! He asked them to vote for him.
Iruka fangirl judges: (momentarily stopping pummeling each other) We were told that Iruka wanted his lover to win, because it was his birthday.
Iruka: (steam almost literally coming from his ears) Kakashi and I are not together!
But once again, no one hears Iruka's denial, because the Gai fangirl judge has gone ballistic. She jumps the stage, knocking Kakashi to the ground, and landing on his chest. Kakashi is so surprised at being attacked by a seventeen year old girl with toilet paper in her nose that he didn't bock. By the time security pulled her off, Kakashi was very grateful that his mask would hide the very embarrassing bruises left by her fists.
Announcer: (trying to calm down the judges) Girls you shouldn't be fighting each
other!
The Iruka fangirl judges stop kicking the Kakashi fangirl judges, who see their chance and run for it.
The Iruka fangirl judges: (speaking in scary unison) Your right; it's Kakashi who must die!
Announcer: That's not what I meant, you should just—
But the remaining judges (the Gai fangirl judge having finally escaped the security guard) are no longer listening to him. They are searching for Kakashi—who has managed to disappear with out a trace. The remaining judges, smearing war paint on their faces, lead the Iruka and Gai fangirls in the audience on a man hunt, with the purpose of castrating the masked instructor.
Announcer: (once again addressing the cameras) That's the end of tonight's program. Remember to watch next year's contest to name Konoha's sexiest teacher!
A/N: I based the Gai fangirl judge off of myself (a lone supporter of his greatness). My friend think I'm nuts for liking him, but he's just so dorkily cool! The difference though, it that , the last time I checked, I wasn't deflowered by Kakashi. That was my story. Thanks for reading, and hopefully reviewing.