Chapter Twelve

"Mom?" Meredith said, sitting in a chair by her mother. "How are you today?" Her mother turned to her slowly, not seeming to see her. "I'm sorry that I haven't been here in so long. The baby came, Mom, and she's still in the nursery. She'll probably come home today and I'll bring her by to meet you soon, okay? Her name is Lydia, Mom."

"Lydia?" her mother repeated. "Lydia."

Meredith smiled, taking her mother's hand. "That's right mom. Your granddaughter's name is Lydia Ellis Shepard-Grey. She's named after you, Mom. You're-." Meredith took a deep breath, willing herself to stay strong. She wished that Derek had come with her, but he had an early surgery. "You're going to love her, Mom, she's a beautiful baby."

To Meredith's surprise her mother turned to her with a wide smile. "Yes, Meredith is a beautiful baby. They grow so fast though."

Tears perched on the edge of Meredith's vision, but she just grasped her mother's hand more tightly and smiled. "How did- how are you managing, with your residency?" she said calmly.

"Oh, I've taken a few weeks off to be with her, and then I'm going back to work and Thatcher will work from home. I hate to be away from her so much. I knew though, when I set out to be a surgeon. I knew it wouldn't be easy. She'll understand when she grows up."

Meredith's throat constricted, but she smiled weakly. "Yeah, Mom. I do understand." She stood and kissed her mother on the forehead. "I'll bring Lyddie by to see you, Mom." She started towards the door and then turned around. "Mom? I know we never said it much, and you probably won't even hear me now… but Mom? I love you."

Her mother did not respond, but her face seemed to soften, as if in some way she heard and understood. For Meredith, it was enough. She left the home and got in her car, taking the familiar route to the hospital. It was only when she pulled into a parking spot that she relaxed her grip on the wheel and began to cry. Lydia was not going to have to wait until she was thirty to realize how much she was loved. Not on Meredith's watch.

She grabbed an umbrella and went in. When the elevator door opened, she was surprised and happy to see Derek standing there typing on his sidekick.

"Meredith!" he said in surprise, pushing the button to close the door. "How did the visit with your mom go?"

She leaned her head on his shoulder, inhaling the scent of his cologne. "Okay." She licked her lips and swallowed. "She thought I was talking about me, as a baby. She…. She did her best, Derek. She loved me. Why didn't I see it then?"

He put his arms around her, pulling the elevator stop button.

"Hey," he said. "You did. You did when you moved out here to take care of her, when you went to see her even when you were exhausted. She knows, Mer. I promise."

Meredith nodded against his chest, sniffing. "Okay. I'm okay."

"You're okay." He started the car up again. "Promise me something?"

"Depends," she teased.

"If Lyddie can come home today: wait for me to be done, okay? I have a twelve hour shift."

"Oh, sure, I'll just camp out in an on-call room," Meredith said, sarcastically, but they both knew that she would. She understood his need. Last night, she had stayed there until four AM when George practically dragged her out of the nursery and into his car. Just before the elevator doors opened, Derek kissed her and headed off towards the OR while she made her way up another floor to the nursery. Lydia seemed to be waiting for her, and Meredith swore that she saw the baby's blue eyes light up.

"Hey there, gorgeous," she said, picking the baby up and holding her close. "I missed you. I went to go visit your grandma. Something tells me she wouldn't want you calling her grandma, but that's not her call. No, it's not. No. Has Aunt Izzie come to see you yet, today? What do you say we get some formula into you so you'll weigh more, huh? 'Cause I want you to come home. You've got lots of friends at home, yes. And a bigger bed than this. Sound good?"

She accepted the bottle that the pediatric intern handed her and smiled as the baby began to suck down the four ounces greedily. She was nearly done when Addison entered. Actually, entered wasn't really the right term, she floated. She glowed. Meredith tried to hide a smirk behind a burp cloth, but Addison caught it.

"Shut up," she said. "The woman who screwed my husband does not get to comment on my sex life."

"Not commenting," Meredith replied, smiling and holding Lydia out so that the baby could study her face. "Am I Lydia? Did I say anything to Dr. Montgomary about the new head of plastics that just so happened to share an on-call room with her last night? Or the fact that she definitely just used inappropriate language in front of twenty little babies?"

"Mkay, how about we examine her so that I can get you the heck out of here?" Addison said, with a tone that was only halfway joking.

Meredith grinned and reluctantly handed Lydia over to Addison who set her gently on the scale.

"Let's see here, beautiful," Addison murmured. She looked at the reading on the scale, while Meredith pointedly avoided looking. Addison straightened and smiled. "Congratulations. Four pounds and one ounce. I'll need to examine her, but it looks like she can go home today."

Meredith let out a breath that she did not know that she had been holding and grinned widely. A second later Izzie entered the nursery holding an x-ray film. "Dr. Montgomary? Here are the scans from Ashley Renoylds. Hey Lyddie, baby. Meredith, how was Ellis?" Meredith was a little startled at Izzie using her mother's first name, but shook it off.

"Okay. She seemed calm today; happy."

"Good. Is Lydia coming home today?" Meredith nodded. "That's great. My shift ends in an hour, so I'll be there. Do you need a ride?"

"No. Derek wants us to wait. He wants us all to go together." To be a family, she thought, but did not say out of respect for Addison who was examining the nearly-healed incision on Lydia's skull.

"Dr. Stevens, go run the labs on Mrs. Richards and you can go," she said. "Meredith, I want you to meet with a woman from the Infants' and Toddlers' Early Intervention program about getting her evaluated for what therapies she may need. The earlier the better, and as it happens she's coming up to the hospital today to meet with another family whose child has Cerebral Palsy. If you're going to be here I'd like you to talk to her."

"Okay," Meredith said, suddenly nervous. Addison saw the look on her face and smiled.

"Calm down, it'll be all right. Her muscle control seems all right, but I'm a little worried about the lack of movement in her legs. The sooner you can get her in physical therapy, the better; and they'll let you know what you can do to help her too."

Meredith nodded, picking up Lydia and holding her tightly. "All right. Thank you, Dr. Montgomary, for everything. You've done so much more for us than necessary." She bit her lip, then continued. "You said once, that I had more class than you. But that's not true. It takes a lot of class to take care of Lydia and me the way you have. I don't deserve it. She does, but I don't."

Addison reached out and put a hand on Meredith's shoulder. "Meredith, I don't like that my husband chose you, but I understand. And that doesn't mean that I don't like you. I'll tell you a secret that you better not repeat. I like you, a lot. You're a wonderful surgeon and great with patients. You deserved all the help I could give you, if only so you can help people and raise this beautiful little girl."

Meredith smiled and nodded, as Lydia made a small cooing noise. "I'm gonna go out and get her diaper bag and I'll be back. How long will it take to discharge her?"

"I'll sign the papers now. I'll page you when the woman I told you about gets here."

Meredith nodded; putting Lydia back in the crib for what she was glad to know would be the last time.

Izzie knelt on the wet, hard ground. It was not raining any more, but judging by the gray in the sky she knew it was going to rain again, soon. Despite this knowledge, she could not bring herself to stand. She put a hand up to the cold gravestone to swipe away dirt, made mud by the rain. Her fingers traced the carving in the stone, tracing his name over, and over until her vision blurred.

The rain began again, oozing through her pink jacket and soaking her hair, but still she knelt there staring at Denny's grave. She did not know why she was there, really, she wasn't the type to sit and talk to the departed at their graves as her grandmother had done. She was moving on with her life, like he would have wanted. She had not been here since his funeral, eight months earlier.

She should go. She should move. But she could not; all that she could do was kneel there thinking about Denny. It did not seem fair: he had been so full of life. Yet, he hadn't feared death. She had been afraid of his death, and she missed him so much. Things were still happening, though. She had a relationship, Meredith was engaged, George, was still with Callie. Things were going well, finally. He would have wanted it that way.

She heard him approach before she saw him, the crunching on the leaves and sticks that had fallen from the old tree over the graveyard. Suddenly the rain stopped falling on her, and she looked up to see his umbrella over her. Alex knelt and put his hand under her arm, pulling her to a standing position.

"C'mon," he whispered, putting a blanket over her shoulders. "Let's get you dried off." She let him gently lead her to his car and when he opened the door for her she did not get in, instead she leaned her head on his chest.

"Thank you," she murmured against his chest. "Thank you for being here, and not pushing me. For just being you." She pulled back and took his face in her hands, kissing him deeply. "I love you, Alex."

He smiled and kissed her back. "I love you too, Sunshine." She laughed and ducked into the car. He went around to the driver's side, and she did not look back. They went back to Meredith's townhouse, and she went into her room to change, then went into the kitchen, deciding to make something to welcome Lydia home. It would really be for Meredith and Derek, of course, and she knew that they would appreciate it.

George hurried out of the OR, it was after two and he hadn't eaten yet, so he made his way quickly to the cafeteria before he had to examine his post-op patients. Callie was in the line just ahead of him, and so he decided to actually sit down and eat lunch with her.

"So, I was thinking," she said. "That tonight you and I could go out somewhere and get dinner, just the two of us."

He paused in opening his milk carton, and looked up to meet her deep black eyes. "Um…. I'd love to, but I just saw Meredith and Lydia's coming home tonight. We can go Thursday though, okay? I know we're both off and no doubt the house will be crazy." He spoke quickly, trying to make up for the disappointment as quickly as he could, but Callie just smiled.

"Oh, I bet Meredith and Derek are happy. I'm glad this all worked out for them."

George nodded. "You're not—upset-- that we can't go tonight?"

"No. I understand George, they're family. Besides, I want to be there when she comes home too. They're kind of my family too now, you know?" She smiled.

George smiled back, reaching out a finger to run it across her cheek. "Callie? You're perfect."

She laughed. "I don't know about that, but thank you George. I love you."

"I love you too."

She did not camp out in an exam room. She thought about it, but she did not want to be in one of the cramped little rooms all day, so instead she settled in the basement clubhouse. Cristina found her down there and brought her lunch, which they ate while Lydia slept in her baby carrier, that was really too big for her. When Addison paged, she was changing Lydia's sleeper after she a feeding. She quickly snapped it up and rolled up the legs which were more than far too long. She popped a tiny cap that Izzie had made onto the baby's head and set off towards the conference room holding Lydia to her, closely.

"Derek?" she said, as she passed by him filling in a chart at the nurses' station. "Are you busy right now? Addison wants me to meet with the woman who's going to help us get therapies for Lyddie when the time comes, and I figured that you would want to be there."

He nodded, pocketing his pen. "Sure. Can I take her?" he asked and she, somewhat reluctantly, handed the baby over. Her mind flashed suddenly to a parent-teacher conference in which she and her father had sat there for an hour while they waited for her mother to be through with surgery. She and Derek were already starting out better than that.

The baby whimpered as they walked down the hallway and Derek shushed her gently. "Come on, sweet girl," he said, "Let's go talk to the nice lady." Meredith smiled up at them as they got to the conference room where Addison had told them to meet. The woman was middle-aged, with curly black hair and a warm smile.

"Hi, I'm Ellen Winters," she said as they sat down. "I'm the family support coordinator assigned to Seattle Grace. Basically, what we do with a child as young as Lydia is that we'll schedule a preliminary evaluation at the three month mark, and begin her services.

"We prefer to give services in the natural environment, which is generally the home, but if the parents prefer they can be done through the physical therapy department of the hospital. We'll also help you navigate your insurance if she needs any equipment or medical procedures. I have her chart from Dr. Montgomary, and it looks as if she was a pretty lucky baby and the damage was minimal, but it will be a while before we know for sure."

She said all of this slowly, and calmly, giving them time to absorb it. Meredith shifted Lydia in her arms and reached for Derek's hand. He squeezed her hand and began discussing further technicalities with Ellen, while Meredith peered down at Lydia's face. The baby had drifted off to sleep and she looked so peaceful. It wouldn't be easy, but they would take care of her.

After they talked with Ellen for a while longer and made an appointment for a coordinator to visit their house in the next month Meredith and Derek went back out into the hall. "Are you all right?" he asked, kissing her cheek and cupping a hand over Lydia's head.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. We're all going to be fine," she smiled. "Go doctor so we can go home."

He smiled and kissed her forehead before disappearing down the hall. Meredith went back to the abandoned gurneys in the hallway, setting Lydia gently in her carrier before throwing herself on a gurney to attempt to sleep for just a few minutes.

When she awoke her sidekick was going off and Lydia was whimpering. She scowled as she realized that the text message was just an advertisement for picture mail and picked up the baby, who was now wailing.

"What is it, baby?" she asked, "Did the stupid beeping wake you up, too?" She reached down into the diaper bag for a pre-prepared bottle and shook it up. "There you go, angel."

She tossed her hair out of her eyes and smiled down at the baby who was now placidly drinking her bottle. Footsteps caused her to look abruptly down the hall. "Derek? What time is it?"

"Just seven. I want you to come look at a patient's scans. It's something fairly common, but I don't think you've seen it yet."

She stared at him. "Derek? Baby."

"Yeah, I know," he said, sitting on the gurney next to her and kissing her neck. "But she's going to be exposed to this her whole life anyway, might as well start now."

"If I were her, I'd decide right here and now to become a clown or a trapeze artist and join the circus."

Derek laughed. "You didn't."

"But I did go directly against my mother's wishes. Remember?"

"This is true," he agreed, putting his arm around her. They sat there, the three of them, quietly together until Lydia had drained her bottle, been burped, and was docilely lying in Meredith's arms looking up at her,

Meredith smiled and stood up. The baby gurgled and waved one tiny fist. "All right, let's go see these films that Daddy's so hung up on. Maybe then we can get out of here, what do you say?"

The baby cooed in response and Meredith and Derek laughed.

"I think she agrees."

Derek led them to a light-board where he had several cat-scans posted. He was explaining the damage to her and she listened, one finger resting in Lydia's curled fist.

"So, are you operating?" Meredith asked, hesitantly. It wasn't a life-or-death case; the damage to the optical nerve wasn't going to get worse.

He nodded. "Yes, but not today. Today I got Dr. Weir to cover the rest of my patients. We are going home." Meredith smiled, he put his arm around her and kissed her. Then, she returned to the clubhouse to collect the myriad of baby things that had been strewn around there throughout the day, while he changed out of his scrubs.

As they walked to the front of the hospital, Meredith was surprised to see that George, Izzie, Alex and Cristina were there, waiting for them. They did not say anything, just followed them through the automatic doors. As they went out to Meredith's car and she was about to load in the baby-seat, she paused, glancing up at the sky where stars were just beginning to come out.

"Lydia? See that star? When you get bigger you can wish on those. You say 'star light, star bright/first star I see tonight/I wish I may, I wish I might/ have the wish I wish tonight," she smiled and buckled the baby into her seat. "My daddy taught me that." She remembered the night suddenly, but there wasn't pain with the memory.

She turned around and Derek was smiling at her. She put her arms around him and rested her head on his chest.

"What did you wish for?" he asked, tipping her face up to his.

She smiled. "I couldn't think of anything to wish for; I have all that I need." She leaned up and kissed him, ready to go home and begin the new chapter in their lives. Her friends surrounded them, smiling, as she and the man she loved got into the car to drive their baby home.

FINITE

A/N: I'm not one for long author's notes, as you all know, so just bear with me for a bit. I want to thank you all for reviewing this story, it's the first story (original or not) that I've been able to get into in a long time. Like, as in one that kept me up at night thinking about it, with scenes that played out in my head.

Upcoming:

A one-shot dealing with Meredith and her mother that may, if you're nice and review, be up before the end of the weekend!

A new chaptered fic dealing with other Meredith issues after Losing My Religion

The sequel to I Wish I May set a few years in the future!

Stay tuned!