JENNIE

I quickly goes up to get ready for the day, I takes a quick shower because I knows if it wasn't quick I'd end up crying in the bathroom and that's the last thing I wants. I moisturizes and wear my oversized shirt and shorts. I runs my hand through my damp hair and stares at my bedroom. Our marital bedroom.

Lisa's clothes were still on the ground, the bed was unmade and the curtains were haphazardly drawn. Everything just seemed off and I was suddenly filled with the feeling that I'm doesn't belong here. The feeling that this is no longer my bedroom.

There was a dark cloud hanging over this room and I doesn't know how to clear it. I takes one last look at the room and turns around. I needed to clear my mind and I was also missing my children. I checks the watch on my wrist for the time and sighs when I sees it's just a little past nine. It was still early. Still stupidly early. In some other parts of the world, people were still asleep and I suddenly finds myself wishing I was among them.

Rosé lets myself in like always. I walks through the short hallway and made my way to the sitting room. I was sitting up and staring at the TV but my eyes looked blank and Rosé could bet all the Oreos in her purse that my friend really watching the TV but clearly Luca was enjoying it because he tries to sing along.

"Luca, my darling." I ruffles his hair and smacks a kiss to his cheek.

Luca just bats me hand away and tried to push me away because I was blocking half of his view. I laughs at my son's antics and receives a glare from Rosé. She rolls her eyes at Luca and walks to the chair I was sitting on.

"You feeling better now?" She asks as she takes my seat.

I just turns a little and lays down on her lap. My head lays on Rosé lap and she immediately buries her hands into my hair. I sighs and turns to bury my face into Rosé's tummy and cried. My shoulders shook with the intensity of my tears, I gasps for breathe as I cries my pain and my confusion away.

"Jennie..." Rosé sniffs. "You have to tell me what's wrong."

I takes a deep breath and uses my free hand to wipe the tears away. Itakes another deep breathe and let it out. I moves away from Rosé's stomach and sits up. I feels a little bit lighter now but I still wants to cry.

"Jennie you're not talking and I'm getting scared." Rosé says, staring at me in concern.

I gives her the best smile I could conjure. "I'm fine. I don't know why I cried. I think its stress or something." I tells her. I gets up and walks to the kitchen to finish clearing up. I places the plates in the dishwasher and carefully arranged the pan I used to make the pancakes in before I flicks it on.

Rosé walks into the kitchen five minutes after I had left, with Luca on my hip. She places him on his chair and hands him a Rubik's cube. Rosé then turns to me who was looking into the microwave and I looked pale.

"Jennie, please talk to me. Tell me what's wrong, you're making me scared."

I burst into laughter. I was still laughing as I pull the plate of food out of the microwave. On the plate was mixed rice, coleslaw and a large drumstick. This was last night's dinner. This was Lisa's dinner. I was still laughing as I drops the plate on the tale and let the rank smell fill the kitchen. Immediately Luca smelt it, he started crying. Rosé moves first. She takes him back to the sitting room and literally ran to the kitchen.

"What is going on, Jennie?"

I looks away from the plate to my friend. "She didn't eat my food."

"Who didn't?" Rosé asks as I stares at my friend. I looked so close to a breakdown and I doesn't know what to do because I wasn't telling her anything.

"My Wife."

Rosé frowns. She looked at me and it clicks. Earlier, on the phone, I had said I think I have lost her. Rosé looks at the plate again and sighs. I grabs the plate and a plastic bag. I scraped it into the plastic bag and dumps it into the bin.

"Jennie..."

I blinks slowly. "I don't feel like myself today. I'm sorry for the various outbursts."

"Jennie..." Rosé calls softly as I makes my way to my friend.

"Rosé, I need you not to ask any questions. I will tell you when I have enough strength, because right now, I feel like weak." I says, my voice soft and my skin deathly pale. Rosé pulls me into a hug and strokes my back softly. I doesn't cry, nor does I hug back. I just let myself be hugged instead.

When we pull apart Rosé lets me sit on one of the many kitchen stools and made my a steaming hot cup of tea. No milk and two tablespoons of sugar. I made her drink it.

"What are your plans for today?"

I looks at my watch. Its twenty minutes past eleven. "I have to go grocery shopping and I have to do laundry, I also have to clean up our room."

Rosé nods. "Iceland does deliveries. Tell me what you want and I'll order it."

It takes Rosé a few minutes to order and I had never been more grateful to anyone in my life. The next thing on the agenda is to clean up me and Lisa's room. I asks Rosé to stay with Luca while I quickly get started. I starts with the curtains. I pulls them apart properly and folds them to the side. I picks Lisa's clothes and adds it to those in the laundry basket. I dusts the bed and replaces the white sheet with a baby blue one and leaves the army green duvet on. I fluffs the pillows and vacuums the room. I gets the wet towels from the bathroom and mopped the floor when I was done arranging there too.

"Done with the room!" I screams immediately I steps out of the room.

Rosé cheers as I makes my way down the stairs and for the first time in three hours thirty minutes, I smiles. I places the vacuum cleaner in the right closet and did the same for the mop. As I closes the door to the closet, I remembers I forgot to take the laundry from each room.

"I forgot to take the d-"

Rosè gives her a mock salute. "I will get them."

"If Kuma finds out you're picking his dirty clothes, he's going to be so pissed." I chuckles, I grabs Luca who protests for a full minutes. "Let me quickly feed Luca his lunch before its nap time."

"Let's disperse!"

I shakes my head at her. I feeds Luca his food, laughing at the face Luca made every time he tasted fish. I would never understand Luca's hot and cold feeling towards fish. When I was with Luca, he had to be the calmest baby. When Luca was brought into my world and I had finally brought him home, Luca was the least fussy child. He only cried when he was hungry, always ate his food with a minimum amount of spitting unlike Lego and Kuma, who did it like it was a sport when they were his age. Now as I feeds Luca his lunch and he eats it with minimum struggle, I thankful that this adorable little boy was mine.

"Okay!" Rosé cheers as she walks into the kitchen. "I say we do laundry and go relax in the hot tub."

I shakes my head. "Luca is about to fall asleep." I tells her, a warm smile on my face as I watches Luca blink slowly. "I can do the laundry, you go and enjoy yourself."

"Fine. I'll get the groceries when it gets here before I go to the hot tub."

I nods. I carries Luca out of his chair and walks past Rosé.

I careful as I goes up the stairs so as not to wake Luca up. I carefully places Luca in his cot and covers him with the blanket. Just like I had said, Rosé gets the groceries when it was delivered and left it in the kitchen for me since I doesn't really know where everything goes. Laundry passes like a breeze for me, while I waited for the clothes to dry, I arranged the groceries. I put the bread where it should be, the salmon where it should be and so on.

I makes a quick lunch for myself and Rosé. As I places the quiche onto the plate, I checks my watch for the time and sighs. It was just a quarter to two. I makes sure the front door and kitchen door was locked and grabs the baby monitor before going out back where the hot tub and swimming pool was.

Rosè thanks me for the food and we talk. We talk about Rosé's work as a ghost writer, we talk about my kids and Rosé's dream man. Rosé leaves by three, leaving me thirty minutes to relax a bit more before my kids walk through the door. There were already three medium sized bowls of truffle in the fridge and I had made another batch of sandwiches.

I waits for my children in the sitting room. Luca was colouring and I was watching him through my side eye to make sure Luca doesn't chew the crayons. I was lying down on the couch, the book The Bane Chronicles in my hand. Lily walks through the door first and screams for me.

"Over here!" I screams back, waving my book over the edge of the couch so she'd see it. She does and she immediately runs to me. She wraps her small hands around mt neck and hugs me. I chuckles and sits up, using a hand to lift Lily until she was sitting in me.

"Mommy, hi!"

I presses a kiss to her head. "Hello sweetie. How was your day?"

She starts talking about learning her multiplication tables just as Lego walks in. His hair was ruffled but overall his clothes were still clean. Lego goes over to Luca first and presses a kiss to his brother's head before making his way to my side. He sits beside me, who raised my hand over Lego's hand and wraps it around my son's shoulder.

"How was school today, bunny?"

Of all my children, Lego James was the softest. Even at the age of nine, he was the sweetest boy I has ever seen, excluding Luca. He reminded me of myself when I was younger.

"It was good. I got an A on my math test, my English test and a B on my French." Lego says and I beams down at my child.

"Mommy, I want to go and shower." Lily says as she tries to wiggle out of my touch.

"Go on up. I'll be with you in a few."

Lily climbs down and skips her way to the stairs, leaving just me, Lego and Luca. I smiles at Lego whose cheeks and nose had gone red.

"I'm so proud of you, bunny."

Lego doesn't say anything, instead he shifts close to me.

"How about you go and clean up? After dinner, there will be ice cream for you." I says and Lego stares at me with wide eyes.

"With skittles in it?" Lego asks, his bottom lip jutting out a little.

Jennie laughs as I stares at my nine year old boy. "Maybe some gummy bears too."

Lego cheers and stands up. He takes the stairs two at a time in his haste to get to his room. I picks Luca and made my way to Lily room. I set out a pair of sweatpants and a blue top with Olaf on it. I places Luca on the play mat in Lily's room as I quickly showers for Lily. I blow dries her hair and packs it into a high ponytail.

"Mommy, is dada coming home early today?" Lily asks and I stills.

When Lisa had come home at one in the morning, she had promised to be home in time for dinner but I knows Lisa like the back of my hand and I knows that, the promise was all talk. The old Lisa was always home by four which was hours before dinner, the old Lisa, if she had to work late always came home in time for dinner but this new Lisa that I has been living with for a year was not the old Lisa. My Lisa.

"Baby, she might be a little late today." I ends up telling Lily.

"But she's always late. Does she not like the house anymore?"

I stares at my little girl. What if she was right though? What if Lisa doesn't like coming home anymore? What if she's the reason Lisa wasn't coming home anymore? What if Lisa was losing interest for their family?

"Mom!" Lily screams, startling me out of my thoughts.

"Lily..."

"You had that look Kuma has when he has to go on a rollercoaster." Lily tells me and I doesn't even know what to do. I was that scare that it reflected on my face. The last thing I wanted was for my children to see my fear.

"How about ice cream after dinner, Lily?"

Lily brightens up at that and hugs me tight. "You're the best, Mommy!"

Lego and Lily finish all the sandwich and pushes it down with mango juice. Me and the kids settle down in front of the television to watch until it was six. I sends Lego and Lily upstairs to go and get their homework done. Instead, they bring their book-bags into the kitchen and settle around the dining table.

Kuma walks in by six thirty. He instantly makes his way to the kitchen immediately he walks in through the front door. He finds me helping Lily with her homework while Lego assists Luca in colouring. Kuma must say, he has never seen a purple mickey mouse before but he's impressed nonetheless.

Without thinking, he joins us at the table and whips out his books. It's not easy keeping a 4.0 GPA but things like this, me helping and assisting Lego, Lily and Luca with their homework and occasionally helping me with his.

[AN]

Kuma makes wonder how her Mommy can handle everything by herself. Makes Kuma want to be his best for her Mom because Jennie always gives them all her best.

Dinner was of spaghetti and meatballs and glasses of water instead of juice because they were having Ice cream afterwards and the last thing I wants is for my children to start purging. They all talk about their day and I listens.

Like clockwork, by eight Lily and Lego go up. It was Kuma's turn to do the dishes. So I tuck Luca into bed first, then Lily. Lego still had an hour before bedtime and I use the opportunity to go through his notes. By nine, I tucks Lego into bed and kisses him good night. Kuma was all done and already in his room by the time I flicked off Lego's lamp.

I knocks on Kuma's door before pushing it open. I finds Kuma lying down on his bed, his phone in his hand. "You okay?"

"A bit full but yeah, I'm okay." Kuma told me.

"Do you need anything?

"Don't wait tonight." Kuma replies and my brows furrow in confusion.

"What?"

"Don't wait for Dada this night. Please go to sleep early. You looked dead on your feet this morning and I know you didn't nap this afternoon." Kuma says, looking away from his phone to stare at me. "Please."

I was stumped. I didn't know what to do but I also knew Kuma was right. "I will."

Kuma smiles. "Good night, Mommy."

"Night, sugar."

I makes sure all the doors and windows were locked before going to my room. I takes a quick shower and settles into bed with Stephen King's The Shining in his hand. by eleven thirty, I check up on all my kids again, to make sure they were alright before going back to my room. I tried to sleep but it doesn't come. I doesn't know how to sleep without the warmth of Lisa so I lays awake with my book in hand.

Lisa comes home by three in the morning and I just stares at her as she walks in. I don't speak to Lisa and Lisa doesn't even acknowledge my presence. I flips my book close and places it in the bedside table, I pulls the duvet over me as I relaxes into the bed. My eyes sting with the oncoming wave of tears and I tried my hardest not to let them drop.

Lisa gets into bed and I decides we couldn't go to sleep like this, so I turns around and that's when I sees.

All over my wife's skin, like an artwork were hickeys. They looked fresh and I couldn't breathe. Lining up my wife's back were scratch marks I knows weren't from me because the last time I had sex with Lisa was a year after Luca was born.

I gets up from the bed and walked out of the room, ignoring Lisa as she called for me. I grabs my jacket and keys, as well as my phone and without a word, she left the house.

~~~~~~~~~