Who's Line is it Anyway?
Chapter 2: A Story Not Intended for Sane Audiences
Yami: Hello, people of the computer! Welcome back to "Who's Line is it Anyway?" Today we're going to be…
Random Audience Member: Where's Yugi?
Other People: Yeah?
Yami: -Evil eyes - Yugi can't come to the phone right now. He's a little tied up.
In a random McDoneld's 100 miles away
Yugi: -Is tied up and gagged in a bathroom - Ahhhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhhh! (Please note he is gagged)
McD's Worker and also Stewardess on Marikku's airplane: Would you like fries with that?
Yugi: -Stops screaming, thinks and nods head.-
These interruptions are getting very annoying.
Yami: Today we will be making insane little stories. We'll be taking Main Topics from this non-rigged ugly orange hat and then as the story progresses we'll take out little slips of paper with sayings on them.
Seto: Your descriptions… For lack of a better word; Suck. AND you forgot to introduce today's guest…Mai Valentine!
Mai: -Walks onto stage-
Ryou: Have you noticed all the guests so far have been girls?
Malik: Yeah, I wanna try to get one of the ladies who played Dracula's Brides in Van Helsing on here. I think it'd be fun.
Ryou: -Backs away slowly-
Malik: I get that a lot for some reason…
Mai: -Is very bored-
Joey: -Is drooling while staring at Mai-
Seto: --" Let's just get started.
Yami: There are three main characters in this game…But if any of you others find a way to work yourselves in…Please do. We will be paired into our groups by Kiaba's vending machine!
Everyone; Especially Seto: Huh!
Yami: It's simple. I just bash the crap out of it with this baseball bat, a candy representing one of us will fall, and so on until we're all in groups! Now; I'm the Milky Way, Malik you're the Snickers. Seto you're the doublemint gum. Ryou will be Twix, Joey will be the Hostess Ding-Dong because he is one. And Mai, our special guest, will be the Peanut Butter Cup!
Seto: Why! What did the vending machine ever do to you! Why does it deserve this! -Sobs-
BloodEngel: It's okay, It's all for the sake of reality TV. It's for a good cause.
Yami: -Begins bashing the candies out of the vending machine-
Wow! I have the first group!
Seto: -Cries- It was so beautiful…
Vending Machine: How could you do this to me Seto! How! -A tear falls from the vending machine-
Seto: -Cries more while having flashbacks of him and the Vending Machine to the "So Happy Together" song- WHY!
Yami: So the groups are…
Malik, Mai, and Seto
then Me, Joey, and Ryou. Let the games begin! Yay!
Yami: Both me and Malik will pick the topic from the definitely not rigged ugly orange hat, as we are the team leaders then each of our team members will take a handful of sayings and read them when we have the chance. Like MadLibs…Wait, did I already say that? Well whatever.
-Chooses topic from ugly orange hat that is not rigged! How many times must I say it!-
"An Unknown Scene from Titanic."
Ryou: -As Rose- Oh no, the ship is sinking!
Joey: -As that guy Leonardo De Caprio played- Oh crap! The ship is sinking!
Yami: -As Rose's fiancee- She just said that you moron!
Joey: Oh. -Takes a paper and reads it. To Ryou/Rose- "Wanna make out?"
Ryou: -Sighs- And this was supposed to be a romance film?
Yami: -Reads paper- "I knew I should've gotten a salad."
-Buzzer-
Malik: -Chooses a topic.- "Conversation at a Weird Hair-Cutting Place."
Honda: -In audience- Wow! That one was mine.
Isis: -Thinks; 'It's for the children, It's for the children.'-
Shizuka: -Also in the audience and suddenly mind reader.- What's for the children?
Isis: Oh, I came here to warn the children that Marikku was coming. Well, actually I just came here to talk to the Fox editor about how they better bump up the rating for this show now that Marikku is going to make a surprise appearance. It could get violent.
Shizuka: -Gulps- M-Marikku is here?
Isis: Yeah, he's just in the bathroom.
Marikku: -Back from the bathroom. In a perfectly normal voice.- Hi Shizuka.
Shizuka: -Runs away screaming…er shrieking-
Marikku: What's wrong with her?
Isis: -Shrugs-
-Now back to what's happening on the stage.-
Malik: -Is 'pretending' to cut Mai's hair- So what's up this week?
Mai: -Sobbing- My Aunt got run over by a car.
Seto: -As a girl- Oh! No! -Reads paper- "The food I ate was very spicy!"
Mai: -Still sobbing while nodding- Y-Yes…-Gulps to hold back fake tears- I remember the last thing she said to me before she died…-Reads paper- "Luke, I am your father."
Malik: I remember the last thing my Aunt said to me before she died; -Reads paper- "For heavens sake cut your hair."
-Buzzer-
Yami: Hehe, that was great. Well, our next game will be…
BloodEngel: Wait! Today we have a very special guest. It's probably not who you're thinking though.
Ryou: Oh! We're not going to get to see Santa Clause?
Bakura: -Comes onto stage- Santa Clause!
Audience: -Gasp-
Bakura: What're you gasping at?
Honda: We're just doing what the sign told us to.
Bakura: -Looks around- What sign?
Audience: -Point to the ceiling, and say in union- The Sign.
Bakura: -Looks up and sees a giant sign with eyes. It now read, "Audience worships sign."-
Audience: -Is worshipping sign-
Bakura: -Shakes head and throws a knife at the sign.-
The Sign: -blows up and is dead-
Honda: Yay! We're free!
Yami: -In his pharaoh costume- Not quite. You're still my slave from 5,000 years ago.
Honda: Ohh.
BloodEngel: Sorry Bakura but you weren't the guest.
Bakura: What?
BloodEngel: Yeah you just showed up. Our real guest is Marikku!
Marikku: -Walks onto stage.-
Yami: Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh! The Return!
Honda: He's so pathetic…And yet I still fear him. 00
Bakura: What the! How'd I get here then?
Matt Groening: I called you here!
Bakura: Huh?
Matt Groening: Would you like to guest star on the Simpsons?
Bakura: -Flatly- No.
Matt Groening: What! I've been rejected! -Shrivels up into dirt-
Fox Animator1: I think he's dead.
Fox Animator2: I was just thinking that!
BloodEngel: O…Kay. Commercial break while I sort this out!
Yami: Puppet show time! -Gets out puppets-
Joey: That's just sad.
Think about commercials you've seen on the TV lately for…say five minutes
Did you? HaHa, you sucker!
The commercial break is now over.
Yami: And Potato Man was saved from the Evil Monsters of the Store! The End!
Audience: -Is silent-
Yami: Well, why aren't you clapping?
Audience…Except for Isis: We're all mindless drones! Without the sign we don't know what to do!
Ryou: We really have to get that sign fixed.
BloodEngel: We can't. Fox doesn't have enough money. The only thing keeping them alive right now is the pity money they get from local churches.
Bakura: Why did we settle for this channel?
BloodEndel: Because Oprah told me to…Do you know what happens to people who don't follow Oprah's advice?
Bakura: -Shakes head-
BloodEnGel: They become one of her slaves!
Audience: -Gasps-
Ryou: Hey! The sign is fixed!
RandomBakuraFanGirl: Yes, and it will stay that way…As long as you hand over Bakura!
Audience: -Gasps-
BloodEngel: Would you like anything else? Like some chips or salsa?
RandomBakuraFanGirl: Don't mind if I do.
Stewardess on Marikku's airplane and also part-time McDonallds Worker: Would you like fries with that?
RandomBakuraFanGirl: Yes, please.
Marikku: Hey Karey!
Karey/ Stewardess on Marikku's airplane and also part-time McDonallds Worker: Hi Marikku!
Yami: Wait, if you're here then does that mean…
Yugi: -Devilish glare- Yami!
Yami: Oh crap!
Yugi: -Strangles Yami-
Security Guard: -Arrests Yugi and takes him away-
Yugi: I'll be back! Maybe not today, Maybe not Tomorrow…Maybe not next year even. But I will be back!
RandomBakuraFanGirl: -Leaves with a screaming Bakura-
BloodEngel: -Waves- Come back and visit!
Bakura: TRAITOR!
BloodEngel: : D That's what you get for stealing MY ice cream!
Yugi: -Randomly shows up- Hello! I'm Back! After a lot of therapy and torture from the other people in prison, and also an anger management class I'm finally ready to return to society.
BloodEngel: GREAT! Every time I get rid of one person another shows up!
Joey: Have you seen my sister anywhere?
BloodEngel: -Backs away- About that… I kinda, might've…Made her run over a cliff…
Joey: What!
Seto: She had to get rid of someone! Do you know how stressful it is to have to provide everyone with equal speaking rights! It's hard!
BloodEngel: It's so hard in fact next chapter is going to be the last one.
Audience: -Gasps- Why!
BloodEnGel: We had fun…But I have more important Fics to work on!
Joey: -sarcastically- Oh, I see.
BloodEnGel: GREAT! I knew you'd understand!
Audience: -Is crying-
Yugi: Okay! This is the end of the chapter! Next chapter is the last one! Wheee!