It's So Hard
Chapter Two: Adjustments
Rachel arrived earlier than usual at the Gotham Gazette, of which she was editor-in-chief. She noted that most of her staff was absent as of yet, which meant she could have a brief chat with Max before starting her work day.
"Hey Rach," she was greeted by her no-longer pink haired friend. Max had abandoned the dye when she got married, a little over three years now. Kevin was a great guy and Rachel was happy for her.
"Hey," Rachel returned almost wistfully.
"What's going on?" Max demanded sharply.
"Nothing," Rachel said defensively. "I'm going to tell Terry tonight."
"He doesn't know yet?" Max cried. "Girl, you are two and a half months pregnant and your husband doesn't know?"
"Not so loudly," Rachel hissed. "And it's not like I have the opportunity to tell him things. You know, between the kids we already have and him being…busy."
"Robin knows," Max retorted.
"I had to tell someone," Rachel responded meekly. "I was excited."
"I was excited, too," Max admitted. "I like being a mom. It's so funny how we were friends and now our kids are, too."
"You're lucky Kevin is around more. I love Terry and I'm proud of what he does but I do wish I could see him…"
"More?" Max finished for her.
"Is that bad?"
"Of course not," Max reassured her. "It's perfectly reasonable."
"OK," Rachel replied, not feeling convinced. "My staff is here, Max, I gotta go…"
"Alright, Rach. You take care of yourself, OK?"
"I promise," Rachel answered. "I'll see you soon."
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After finishing up the seemingly endless hours editing and formatting, Rachel swung by the preschool and picked up the twins. They promptly began arguing over who got to sit in front with Rachel.
"Me!" Bruce shouted.
"No, me!" Terrance insisted.
"Easy," Rachel intervened quickly, stepping between the boys. "You are both going to sit in the back."
"Just because Terrance is a copier I have to sit in back," Bruce grumbled. "Not fair."
"Life isn't fair," Rachel quipped dryly as she strapped the twins securely into their car seats. "And stop starting trouble with Terrance, Bruce."
Bruce folded his tiny arms over his chest, pouting.
"Hey, cheer up you grumps," Rachel called into the back seat. "Mommy has a fun night planned for all of us."
"Does it involve broccoli?" the twins asked together suspiciously.
"No broccoli, I promise," Rachel chuckled. "How does pizza sound for dinner?"
"Yum!" Terrance exclaimed happily. "Cheese?"
"Whatever you two and your sister can agree on," Rachel said firmly. "If we have time you can watch a movie and then an early bedtime because I have to tell Daddy something important and we need to be alone."
"OK," the twins agreed. "Thanks Mommy."
By then they had reached Robin's school. Rachel unbuckled her children and led them into the cafeteria where an after-school program was held.
"Hi Mom!" Robin greeted loudly, flinging her backpack onto her shoulders. "What are we having for dinner?"
"Pizza," Rachel answered. "And then a movie if you can all be good."
"Cool," Robin said enthusiastically.
"But there is an early bedtime policy in place!" Rachel called after the kids. "And I mean that!"
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The kids were surprisingly well behaved that night and managed to agree on pepperoni pizza for their supper. Rachel fixed them all a huge bowl of popcorn and settled in with them to watch a movie.
By eight-thirty she had them all tucked in and was waiting for Terry.
Then it was nine and he wasn't home. He hadn't called, either, which was very unlike him. Rachel was past worrying about him at this hour; he had been out much later than nine.
"But he promised," she whispered into her cold coffee. "He promised."
Rachel slammed the mug down onto the kitchen table. She had been worried too many times to just sit around. She knew to keep busy by now.
Rachel returned to her bedroom and changed into her favorite pajama bottoms and an old T-shirt of Terry's. She twisted her glossy raven-black hair into a loose bun.
"Time for the wonderful world of laundry," she muttered to herself.
Rachel had folded two loads of laundry by ten and was worried yet again. She decided to check on the kids to keep her mind off of him.
Rachel looked in on the boys first. They looked adorable, curled up under their matching dinosaur blankets. Terrance stirred slightly in his sleep. Rachel smiled to herself and perched on the edge of Bruce's bed. She laid a kiss on his cheek and did the same with Terrance.
"Mommy?" Terrance asked quietly. "Is Daddy home yet?"
"No sweetie," Rachel answered sadly. "He'll be here soon, though, I promise. Now go back to sleep."
"OK, Mommy. I love you."
"I love you too, Terrance."
"Is it OK that I worry about Daddy?"
"Yes, of course it is," Rachel told him firmly. "Daddy has a dangerous job. But Daddy wouldn't want you to worry; he always comes home."
"Sometimes I wish he wasn't a defective," Terrance mumbled sleepily.
''You don't know half of it,' Rachel thought. "I think you mean detective. And I know, sweetheart. It's hard sometimes, not knowing if you'll see him again, isn't it?" she asked kindly.
"Yeah," Terrance agreed. "I feel sleepy Mommy."
"OK. Get some rest. Daddy will be home tomorrow."
"Do you promise?" Terrance probed.
"I promise." Rachel smiled sweetly at her little boy.
"Goodnight Mommy."
"Goodnight."
Rachel closed the door to their room and bit her lip. Terrance was such a sweetheart, worrying about his father that way. Some girl was going to be very lucky when she grew up.
She shook her head and padded down the hall to Robin's room.
The door swung open with a quiet creak. Robin's dark tresses were pulled into a thick braid that had draped itself over her face as she slept. Rachel crept inside her daughter's room and fixed the braid. She frowned as she recalled how close she had been to her own father at eight years old and how just hours before he died she'd been attacked with tickles from him.
"Terry you better be alive," she mumbled. "You're not going to die on this little girl when she needs her daddy."
"I wouldn't dream of it," Terry whispered behind her.
Rachel jumped.
Terry snorted. "We're a little paranoid aren't we?"
"You scared me," she hissed angrily. "Where were you?"
"We should go back to our room," Terry slurred, pointing to the still-sleeping Robin.
Rachel followed him back into their bedroom and crawled into the queen-sized bed. "Where have you been, Terry?" she asked quietly.
"It's a long story," Terry began, changing into a pair of baggy blue sweats and joining her in the bed.
"That doesn't begin to cover it," Rachel seethed. "You promised me Terry. You didn't bother to call or anything. Terrance worries about you. All of them do. They don't know if their daddy will ever come home when he drops them off at school. And I grew up the same way they did and it isn't fun."
"I know," Terry continued, pulling her close and letting her hair out of its bun so it swished all over his bare chest. "I know. I'm sorry."
Rachel sighed. "It's OK. What happened?"
"I was on my way home right after my shift ended, no preliminary patrol or anything. Then I noticed a fire."
"Oh no," Rachel breathed.
"So I parked the car and suited up. The fire department wasn't there yet and I knew I had to go and save the poor people inside."
"Was everyone OK?"
"Unfortunately, no," Terry said grimly. "A woman died tonight, Rach. And I was basically stuck while the paramedics did their tests because the cops had some questions."
"Oh, Terry," she murmured, squeezing him tight. "I'm sorry, baby."
"There was fear in her eyes," Terry choked. "I wasn't doing my job properly. It's my fault."
"No, baby. It's not."
"Bruce thinks it is," Terry muttered. "He grilled me like a cheeseburger."
"I'm sorry, Terry. I know it's hard when someone dies on your watch."
"I let everyone down tonight," he mumbled. "Especially you, Rach. I broke my promise."
"It's OK, Ter. I love you, you know that right?"
"I know." He gave her a half smile. "What did you want to talk about?"
"It's not important now. We can talk about it tomorrow."
"Tell me," he insisted.
"I am going to sleep," she replied. "Goodnight."
Sleep had almost captured her when a familiar nauseous feeling entered the pit of her stomach.
Rachel bolted from their bed and ran into the bathroom.
"Rach?" Terry inquired gently. He kneeled beside her and pulled her hair back for her.
Rachel stood shakily and strode back to her sink, filling a cup with water to rinse her mouth out.
"Are we having a baby?" Terry guessed, pulling her into a bear hug.
Rachel nodded against his chest.
"Another baby," Terry breathed. "I love you so much Rachel. So much more than you'll ever know."
He scooped her up bridal style and brought her back to bed.
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