JENNIE

I blinks myself awake.

Once my eyes were open, I stared at the ceiling on top. It was a very familiar ceiling, one I had been looking at for years. I didn't even need to look down or around to know that I was in our matrimonial home.

I slowly sits up, the duvet wrapped around my waist goes up a little with me as I does. I take a look at the cream curtains and walls, I look at the pictures on the wall. The huge one that was hanging right beside the flat screen tv. It was a picture of me, Lisa, Kuma, Lego, Lily and Luca at the beach last year.

Lisa was wearing just her yellow shorts and sports bra, she was seated in the sand beside Lego and Lily and her head was thrown back, her eyes squinted closed as she laughed. On the flatbed beside them was me who was in a pair of light blue shorts and had a thin white crop top on, I was holding onto a sleeping Luca with Kuma was on the other lounge chair beside me. I finds myself smiling because this had to be one of my many favourite pictures they've taken.

The door to the room was pushed open and I looked to the side. I watched silently as Lisa walked into the room. And that's when everything came rushing forward.

Me and the children at McDonalds, finding Lisa and her ... what do you even call the blonde woman? A girlfriend? A mistress? A fucking girltoy? A home wrecker!"

"Jennie, are you alright?"

I stared at my wife and asks myself. Was this my fault? Was it something I did? Whatever I did, is it something I can take back?

I looked away from my wife to the same picture. No, I decided, I didn't do anything. I didn't tell to her to go out a cheat. I, myself, am not seeing any one. It brings a bitter taste to my mouth.

"Are you alright?"

I looks away from the picture to Lisa who was sitting on the long couch that was pressed against the wall. I'm not going to do anything until after I washes the bitter taste from my mouth. I get out of bed, ignored Lisa's calls and headed towards the bathroom. It takes me a couple of minutes to brush and rinse. I splashed water over my face and then I looked at my reflection in the mirror.

I was still in the same clothes I had been wearing. How long was I out? What about the children? What about Rosé? Fuck! The kids might have seen Lisa kiss someone else yesterday. Ugh!

A light bulb suddenly went off in my head and I remembered Kuma had wanted to tell me something. Was this what Kuma was about to say? It was definitely what Kuma had been about to say. How long had he known?

My heart squeezes tight and I let out a loud gasp.

I needed to leave. I didn't want to be here and... hold on! Why should I have to leave? I hadn't been the one lying, cheating and missing major milestones like Kuma's fifteenth mini birthday sundae bash!

The anger that had pooled in my stomach goes higher and I was a bit close to punching the mirror in front of me. All I could see was a weak ass woman who couldn't keep her marriage together! I clenched my hands into fists and walked out of the bathroom. Lisa who had been sitting there, stood up immediately.

"Baby are you alright?"

I laughed. The sound that came out of my body was one Lisa nor me had heard before, it was ugly and dark and everything I was feeling. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"Jennie.."

"You come home late, you come home with marks littering your back, you miss everything from Lily's piano recital to Lego's spelling bee competition to Kuma's birthday! I had told myself that I was seeing things, I told myself my wife would never cheat even when the evidences were staring me in the eye!"

"We can talk about this..."

I grabbed the first thing I could find and throws it towards Lisa's head. The picture frame breaks and falls to the ground, narrowly missing Lisa's head.

"Your son knew what you were doing!" I screamed, throwing a lamp right at Lisa who ducks and winced when it shatters against the wall. "How could you do that! Kuma knew about this! We were your family! I was your wife!" I screamed!

"You are still my wife."

"Do you really think I'd stay with you? Do you really think I'd subject my children to this?"

"They are my children too!" Lisa argued and wasn't that just the icing on the already fucked cake.

"Oh, now they are your children too?!" I laughed. "Where were you when we had to rush Luca to the hospital when he mistakenly ate a bite of Kuma's peanut butter ice cream? Where the fuck were you when Lego kept asking for you in the middle of the night? Where the fuck were you when Lily got the flu and I was so fucking worried because I also had the flu too! There was no one to take care of us so Kuma stepped up! Kuma! Our fifteen year old son!" I yelled.

"I didn't know about that. About any of that and I'm so sorry."

"Oh no no, Pranpriya Manoban. Sorry won't fix this hoola baloo. It's too late now to say sorry. I don't even need it." I marched towards the door and stalked out of the room. I take a couple of deep breaths and let them out before making my way down. I couldn't find my kids. Where were my kids?!

"Jennie where are you going?" Lisa shouts as she ran down the stairs.

"Looking for my kids and then we are gone!"

"And where are you gonna go? You don't have-"

I turned around and slapped Lisa on her cheek. I slapped her so hard, Lisa's head tilts to the side. I hadn't noticed it but I had been crying. My eyes were a bit red, so was my nose and the tips of my ears, the tears were sliding down my face with such an intensity.

"Don't you ever say that again! Don't you even think about it again!"

"Look, I am really sorry."

We were standing in the living room now, the large wedding portrait of Lisa and I silently looming over and mocking me. It felt like it had happened so long ago.

"Do you love her?"

"Who?"

My hand reached out and I slapped Lisa again. In the same spot and on the same cheek. "I need you to tell me the truth. Do you love her? How long has this been going on?"

"Seven months and I don't love her."

"So what you're trying to tell me is, you don't love the woman that made you ruin your marriage?" I snaps. I pushed my hands through my hair and lets out a shaky laugh. I made my way to our wedding portrait and glared at it.

"Do you remember how in love we were then? We were so happy but I don't know what I did." I said. "What did I do?" I asked as my turned around. Lisa was standing there, still and Lisa, her cheek bright red.

"You didn't do anything, Jennie. It was all my fault. I took you for g-"

"What do you want to tell the kids? Because I'd rather jump off a bridge than let them stay with a woman who doesn't want them!"

"I do want them! I love them as much as I love you!"

"You really don't! If you did, you would have been here for them! For me. I needed you here so much these last months!"

"You can't tell me what I feel, Jennie. You can't."

"But I do. I've been here in this big fucking house," I waves my hands around. "for months while you were gallivanting around with your blonde bimbo. Why didn't you just divorce me?! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME! MY HEART FEELS SO EMPTY AND I'M FEELING PAIN EVERYWHERE AND DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID TO ME IN YOUR VOWS?!" I grabbed the portrait and throws it onto the ground and watched it scatter onto the ground.

"I know what I said!"

"Then say it! I want to hear the lies again!"

"I told you..."

"Louder..." I yelled. "Let the lies sink into the very sham that is our home and marriage.

"I TOLD YOU THAT I WOULD PROTECT YOUR HEART AND TREAT IT JUST LIKE IT WAS MINE, CAREFULLY, PROTECTIVE AND FULL OF LOVE. I TOLD YOU I WILL HOLD ONTO YOU, LOVE YOU AND TREAT YOU RIGHT. I TOLD YOU, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY NUMBER ONE, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY LOVE."

"I can't even look at you right now." I cried. "I want to you leave."

"You can't leave me, Jennie! Our marriage isn't a sham!"

"Then why the seven months of cheating? In fact, I don't want to know. All I want to know is, where are my kids?"

"I dropped them off at school."

"Kuma too?"

"No, he's upstairs in his room."

I grows cold at that. I really hoped to whatever deity listening to their argument that my first child hadn't heard everything. I really hoped he had slipped on his headset. However, I realizes that Kuma would not have slipped on his headset because he'd want to listen to find out if I had gotten hurt one way or another.

Kuma's words, 'The moment he hits you, we are gone. Promise me, Mom' Yeah, Kuma was definitely listening to their argument.

Fuck!

"Lisa, I need you to leave!"

"I am not going anywhere."

I looks at the staircase. I needed to get upstairs to make sure Kuma was alright.

"You had no problem leaving before, so please get the fuck out!"

"When do you want me to be back?"

"Just make yourself scarce for now. If I need anything, I'll send my lawyer to yours."

I walked away from Lisq, my hands reaching up to wipe my tears away. I goes up the stairs, taking it one at a time because I was feeling a bit too weak. All of Lisa's words were swirling in my head and I just didn't know what to do any more. When I gets to the front of Kuma's room, I hesitates a bit.

I knocks and pushed open the door. I looked around the room and frowned. I was about to leave the room when I hears sniffles coming from the direction of the closet. I places my hand over my mouth as I made my way towards the bathroom. I prays that I'm not going to see what I suspecting I see.

My heart shatters to the floor when I sees Kuma curled in on himself in the bathtub. I don't hesitate to get into the bathtub and pulled my son towards me. Kuma pressed his head into my neck and cried, his body shaking. Soon, I finds myself crying, the hands I had around Kuma were shaking and how could I do this to my son?

I pressed my face into Kuma's hair as I cried, my hands tightening around Kuma's body as I repeated the same words over and over again.

It's going to be alright. We are going to be alright.

~~~~~~~~~