JENNIE

I don't sleep that night. The house felt so big and everything felt so... different. It's three in the morning and I can't sleep. I keeps staring at Lisa's spot on the bed, tears slipping down my face. I reached out and rubbed the spot where Lisa should be sleeping on.

I wonders if sending Lisa out of the house was a good idea. What if I had sent Lisa back into the arms of her lover and she never returns? I'm going to raise the kids alone? Well it wouldn't be hard, I had been doing this for months.

Is this going to be what breaks our marriage?

Is our marriage even fixable?

What if we were really going to get a divorce?

I lets out a sigh and turns over to my side and grabbed my phone that was resting on the table. I had over 160 missed calls and 70 texts from Rosé but none from Lisa. I stared at Lisa's contact and wondered what the next step should be. I was about to let out another sigh when I heard footsteps in the corridor and I instantly knew it was my kids. The first person to walk into the room was Lego, then Lily and followed closely by Kuma who was holding a sleeping Luca. They all crawl onto the bed and made a puppy pile with me right at the centre of it.

"Is everything alright?" I asked, my voice coming out hoarse from all the crying. Heck, my throat was aching.

"We heard you, Miee." Lego said, his voice quiet.

"Our walls are not that thick." Kuma adds as I shifts closer so his head was resting on my's chest.

My blood went cold as I realised what the kids meant. The only time I had cried was a bit after dinner. I hadn't been able to stop the tears so I had made my way to the nearest bathroom.

"They also saw what you saw." Kuma whispers.

Nobody talks after that. I couldn't help but feel like this was my fault. First, I had a fight with Lisa and we both said a couple of words that shouldn't have been heard by Kuma and now this. How was I going to make everything better? How can I fix this?

"Is Dada going to be home tomorrow?" Lily asked.

"I don't know, sweety. I don't know."

"I don't want her to. She made you cry."

This makes me speechless. For fuck sake, this was Lily. She adored the hell out of Lisa and now she was saying this? Was this how it's going to be from now on? What if... what if we truly do get a divorce and Lisa gets custody of the kids? What if I never sees any of my children again? My eyes began to sting as a rush of tears come forward. I knows I can't cry in front of my children again, I can't.

"Go to sleep guys." Kuma told his sibling. "Miemie, I'll make breakfast tomorrow."

"No, it's okie. I can do it." I need to take my mind off things was silent but I could bet my savings account that Kuma still hears it. The kids fall asleep soon after but I don't and I also knows Kuma wasn't asleep too.

We both stay in silence. I knows in a few hours the sun would come up and the kids would leave for school and then I'd be alone.

"When is Aunt Rosé getting out of jail?"

"I think she got out this evening because I saw her missed call and texts." I replied, my voice quiet so I wouldn't wake anyone up.

Rosé had been taken to the nearest police station and charged with public disturbance and battery because she had tried to hit the blonde woman Lisa had been with. Kuma had told me earlier in the day, a few hours after we had left the bath tub. Now that I am thinking about it, I was very sure that Rosé would show up bright and early.

Kuma falls asleep by five thirty, his eyes closed, hair tussled and mouth hanging open a bit. It made me chuckle. I look at all my kids, stared at their faces, at Lego's lips as he drooled a little on his shirt, at Lily as she sucks on her thumb and Luca who was rubbing his nose with his tiny fist. These kids were my life, Lisa was still her my wife and I was just...me. There was nothing special about me if you look really closely.

I had a little pouch, has got a nose that was longer than most and I had this bad habit of biting my nails for no particular reason. I sighs. Maybe Lisa was tired of me because I could recall what the blonde woman had looked like. With the shiny gold hair, the perfect eyes, the perfect laugh and there was no wonder how Lisa wasn't attracted to me.

Lisa and I got married to find out I was pregnant with Kuma even though we were only nineteen years old.

I remembers when we were in college. How Lisa would wait for me outside my lecture hall and walk me back to the apartment, I remembered the flowers I got, I remembered how Lisa had stared at me and it was different from how this Lisa looks at me. Fuck, Lisa doesn't even look at me anymore. She doesn't touch me anymore, she doesn't remember our anniversaries, she forgot Kuma's birthday, she doesn't come home anymore, I don't get flowers anymore.

The thing that hurt the most was the fact that Lisa wasn't in love with the blonde woman, with the blonde... little ho! She broke the marriage in two for a fling? She was making me question everything about myself, she was making me blame myself.

Fuck this shit. I didn't ask for any of this.

I didn't ask for any of this, nor did I deserve it.

Anger began to rise within me and I really want to punch Lisa right in the throat. Or... maybe I would just do what Lisa was doing. Maybe I would find someone just like Lisa did. Maybe... I could ask Mr. Song? The man had very openly given me a once over the last time she had dropped Luca off.

Shit.

What was I doing? Being petty was going to solve my problems. Plus that is my kid's teacher for heaven's sake. You don't eat where you poop and I isn't going to start something I can't handle.

I am eventually fall asleep but I wake up when I feels Luca start to wiggle. When I opens my eyes, the bed was empty save for Luca who was sleeping on my chest. There's was a light scent of pancakes in the air and I knows Kuma let me sleep in. I ran my hands down Luca's back and smiles when my little boy looks up at me.

"Mie mie.. hi."

"Hi, my littlest prince. Wanna get ready for the day?"

"Yes! Paint!" Luca cheers, pressing his palms to my chest and lifting himself up a little.

"Let's get you ready then." I said. I picks my little boy up and rests him against my hips. I quickly gives Luca his bath and dressed him in a baby blue shirt and dark blue pants with white little hightops. I brushes his blonde hair and smiles when I was done.

I finds Kuma, Lily and Lego in the kitchen. There were stacks of pancakes on their plates and another spare plate, the bottles of syrups and the large bowl of fruit was on the table. Kuma takes Luca from me and proceeded to feed him oatmeal. Kuma had made both pancakes and oatmeal. My baby boy must have woken up early to sort this all out. My baby boy who hadn't sleep till five thirty. My worry must have shown on my face because Kuma gives me a reassuring smile that actually doesn't do anything to quell my worries.

"Just have your brekkie."

"Thank you, Kuma."

Just as I was about to sit, the bell went off. I tells the kids to continue eating and made my way to the door. I checks the surveillance and instantly went still. Lisa was in front of the house and she was ringing the bell. Had she forgotten her keys at home or at her lovers house and was too lazy to go back and get it? What if... what if Lisa came back because she missed me? What if Lisa just wants to grab her things and just go?

The bell goes off again and it shocks me into the present. I stared at the small screen showing Lisa's face, the face I misses so much that it was painful. I knows I shouldn't but I ends up opening the door.

Lisa walked into the room and I just stared at her. Lisa looked so different. She looked like she hadn't slept a wink, she had little black bags under her eyes and her eyes were a bit red. It almost makes me happy and I really hoped Lisa had been crying for me and for the kids.

"Hi." I said.

"Jennie. Love."

I couldn't hold back my snort. I rolled my eyes and cocks my hip to the side. "What do you want?"

"I missed you and the kids."

"Oh, now you miss us."

Lisa takes a step forward. "I always miss you all."

"Then where have you been these past few months?" I asked, tilting my head to the side as I stared at her. "Because I don't recall you being here."

"Jennie..."

"Why are you here, Lisa? I need to take the kids to school and I don't have time and nor do I want to listen to your bullshit. So why don't you go back to blondie."

"I have told you. Somi means nothing to me. You, you, Jennie mean everything to me. You and the kids are my...everything."

"That's just a fucking lie."

Me and Lisa both turn towards the direction of Kuma's voice. Kuma stood there with his hands curled into tight fists. He had on a black graphic tee, with a jean jacket thrown over it and a pair of dark jeans and white sneakers.

"Kuma." I said as I takes a step forward.

"How can you just stand there and listen to her lie through her teeth?!" Kuma demanded.

"She's still your dada"

"I don't need her. I only need you, Mommy. " Kuma said and then stared right at Lisa. "You can take the fucking house if you want to, you can shove your money up your asshole until you can taste it at the back of your mout-"

"KUMA JAMES MANOBAN! WATCH YOUR MOUTH!"

"NO! She didn't watch her mouth when she was kissing Somi Jeon, she didn't watching her mouth when she disrespected you by sprouting bullshit yesterday and today. Fuck what I said about her hitting you, I don't need to go to school, I can get a job and we can make it Mommy. We don't need her. These past few months have shown we can survive without her."

"Kuma, son--."

"Don't." Kuma spat. He turned to me who was trying his best to pull himself together. "Mom, it's time for school. We'll take the bus." Kuma said and then before I could argue he throws the keys to me who used my reflect to catch them. I watched as Kuma walked out of the living room, he comes out with Lily, Luca and Lego. I squats a little and gives all of them hugs. I also gives Kuma one and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Do you have money for a cab?" I asked.

"Yeah, I got paid for my work study last week Friday."

Lily and Lego don't even glance at Lisa as they walked out the door and it makes my heart hurt. No matter what, Lisa was still their dada. Lisa stayed in the same position as she had been as Kuma had poured out his heart. Her eyes were wide and her hands were clenched. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Kuma knew who the woman Lisa was sleeping with. And judging from his anger, Kuma must have known for a while. No wonder he was angry at me. He must have thought that me was a fool who couldn't keep the attention of my wife.

"Did you hear what he said?"

"Kinda hard not to, when he was screaming it." I replied, my tone sharp.

"Lily and Lego didn't even look at me."

"They saw everything I saw and as far as I know, they know you did a very bad thing."

"What about you, Jennie? Do you hate me?"

"Hate is such a strong word, Lisa but yeah, I do. I'm torn between choking you and punching you."

"I just... I-"

"How would you feel if I was the one cheating? What would you do..." I stepped close to her who was watching me with careful eyes. "...if you saw me with another man? If you saw me under another man?" I asked.

Without hesitation, Lisa replied. "I would kill him."

"Then you know half of what I'm feeling right now." I said and takes a couple steps backwards before turning around. I don't get too far because in the blink of an eye, I was shoved against the wall with Lisa right in front of her, pressing my hips right into the wall. No words were spoken, the air was tense but also mixed with a little something. Something me hadn't felt in a long time and before I could stop it, Lisa's mouth was on mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~