JENNIE

"Your dada and I are getting a divorce."

I nervously bit my lip as I stared at my children. We were all seated on my bed in their pajamas. Kuma doesn't say a word and neither does Lego. Lily and Luca on the other hand had confused looks on their faces.

"What does that mean?"

"It means," I kneels down in front of my baby girl. "that your dada and I are going out different ways. We are not going to be married anymore."

"She doesn't love you anymore?" Lily asked, her eyes wide and shiny with what I thinks is tears.

"She likes me, Lily and she loves all of you so much."

"Are we going to see her then? What kind of arrangement is it?" Kuma asked.

"We agreed on every last weekend of the month. Fridays to Mondays, she'll drop you off at school."

It had taken Lisa and me a week to decide. Shawn has just stared at both of us with an unreadable expression on his face. He had brought up the option of us therapy again by me was quick to shut it down. Lisa hasn't told me why she had cheated and it was never okay to cheat on someone you claim you love.

Lisa hasn't been home since the day Lego ran away from school. And me, for the life of her, doesn't know how I really feels. It feels like everything was moving and me was just standing still.

"Miemie..." Lego called out, dragging me out of my thoughts.

"Yes, baby?"

"Are we going to be okay?" Lego asked, fiddling with his pajamas. I opens my arms wide and the kids crawl into me, pushing me backwards until I was lying on the ground with my children around me.

"We are going to be fine. I've got a job and we'll go house searching tomorrow and you'll see your dada every month."

"Are you okie, Miemie?" Lily asked. I could feel her sigh against my body.

"As long as I have all of you, I'm happy as a clam."

Me and Rosé agree not to change Lily, Lego and Kuma's school. But Luca would move to whatever school is close to MBC Publishing.

They're all piled up in my Escalade, the radio was on but its volume was turned low. Lily and Lego's chatter loud enough to entertain me and Kuma who for the fourth time that week had a blue tongue.

It's Saturday. The roads were a bit free and so were the streets. The first house they were going to see was actually near Rosé neighborhood. It was a three bedroom apartment with two bathrooms. And it was affordable.

I needed a house within my budget and the real estate agent had a long list of houses for me and the kids to look through.

Once we got to the apartment, Lily looked around with one sleek eyebrow raised before she shook her head.

"Too small, Miemie. Where are you going to work?"

The next house, they go to is on the 8th floor of an apartment building. It was a four bedroom flat, windows everywhere and three bathrooms.

"Luca could get injured here and Lego doesn't feel comfortable coming this high." Kuma said, gesturing at Lego who was standing far away from the glass windows and pointedly looking at the white walls.

Not it either.

We look through four more houses before I pulls to the side of the road and asked.

"What do you feel like eating? KFC? McDonalds? Chu's Chicken?"

The kids, me had learned, had developed a slight distaste for McDonalds. Rosé had called it a phobia but I hopes it's just a slight distaste.

"Can we get shrimp and chips with some calamaris?" Lego asked, nervously pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Is that what you all want?"

"I want fish instead." Kuma adds.

"No calamaris. Yuck!"

I smiles at my kids. At least they still had their appetite. Something I was losing more and more each day. According to google maps, there was a seafood restaurant a few streets away.

I pulled into the parking lot of The Fisherman Catch Seafood restaurant and the kids get down. Lego helping Lily with her seatbelt when it got stuck. The kids choose a table at the back, far from the window and away from the rest of the diners.

Once we were all seated, I pulls out my phone and calls Rosé who picks up after three rings.

"He's fine. I'm fine. We've both eaten and now we're napping. Or at least, I was."

"Normal people say hello, Rosé."

"Since when have I been normal?"

"That's a good question."

"Honestly though we are fine. Have you chosen a house yet?" Rosé asked.

"Nope. We haven't found the perfect one."

Kuma places their order. I picked up the menu and skins through it before pointing at the fruit salad at the bottom. The waiter takes it down and gives them a small smile before turning away.

"You'll find it."

"Thank you, Rosé. For everything. You've been my rock through this entire thing."

"You're my best friend, Jennie. You needed me and I was there and you'll do the same thing if it was the other way round and fuck, you have." Rosé chuckled, her voice coming out a bit shaky.

Rosé was my only friend. Rosé used to be my only family because I had no one. I had been dumped at a Catholic Church, taken to an orphanage, went to a public school all my life while working part time jobs wherever I could get them. When I got a scholarship to study English at the University of Korea, I had been over the moon.

"...am?"

I blinked repeatedly before humming. "Hm?"

"You'll find one. Take care of the kids and get home safe, okay?"

"Okay, Rosé."

We bid our goodbyes and end the call. Lego and Kuma begin to have a debate about what DC hero was the worst and if you ask me, I'd say Green Lantern. Lily was playing with the menu card, swinging her feet.

"Are you okay, Princess?"

"Just hungry, Mom." She replied, shaking her blonde hair.

"Food will be here soon."

Lily placed her elbow on the table and rests her face on her palm, big blue eyes blinking at me. "Mommy, do you know if we'll find a house?"

"Yeah we will, Princess."

"Can it just be us there?"

"What?"

"Can it just be us there?" Lily repeats and the question shocks me a little. I hadn't thought about that to be honest and I don't think I had enough money for that kind of house. Lily was asking for...

"Small, Mommy. Something small. Like a bungi- bunjilow?"

"Bungalow, Lily." Kuma cuts in.

"Yes! That Miemie!"

A bungalow. Just them in the house, no talking to many neighbors, not having to park far away or there having a risk to be blocked when I'm on my way out in the mornings, no risk of bad influence from neighbors. It's a plus.

But it's going to cost so much more.

"We'll see, sugar bear."

Our food was brought a couple minutes later and we all dig in. While we eat, I decides we would end the search here today. I pulled out my phone and sent a message to the realtor, telling her to find me a bungalow instead. One within my price range or a little out.

"Should we go home after this or do should we see a movie?"

"Movie!" The kids, yes, Kuma included, cheered. None of them caring about the looks they were getting from other patrons.

Kuma Check the movies available and their showing times. I wants to watch A Star Is Born, Lego wants to see Small Foot, Kuma was Switzerland while Lily wanted to see Hotel Transylvania: A Monster Vacation.

Since Lily was the princess, Hotel Transylvania won.

"Four large popcorn, four large tangos, two bottle water, one Twix and one licorice." I recited as the kids held onto to their various snacks. "Anything else?"

"Nope. We're good." Kuma replies.

Just as I was about to go in, my phone began to ring. My heart skipped a beat and my breath caught in my throat.

Lisa's name kept flashing on the screen of my phone.

"You all go in. I'll take this call and join you in a minute."

Lego and Lily slipped in while Kuma looked at me for a few seconds before walking in. I walked back to the sitting area.

Should I pick?

Or not?

I kept asking myself until the call ends. Welp, so much for that. I lets out a sigh and looked at the ceiling. People were still milling about, none of them really paying attention.

I should get up and go in.

Yeah. That's what I should do.

I jumps a little when my phone began to ring. I don't hesitate to click the green button.

"You picked." Lisa said.

"I don't know why I did."

"Where are you?"

"Cinema."

"Which one?"

"The one near Seoul's Tower" I replied. "Are you going to tell me why you cheated?"

"Can we do this face to face? I can come and meet you."

"I'm with the kids. We're watching a movie."

"Please let me see you."

"You can."

"I'll be there in ten."

I waits. I texts Kuma that I'll be outside for a while and he should enjoy the movie. True to her words, Lisa runs into the building in ten minutes. She's got on a blue shirt and a black leather jacket. She has bags under her eyes and her bob hair looks like she's been running her fingers through it her bangs was mess.

To me though.

To me, Lisa looked as gorgeous as ever.

My wife looked as gorgeous as ever.

"Jennie, Love."

I gets to my feet. "Outside. Let's do this outside." I said and walked past her. Lisa walks right behind me until we got to somewhere secluded and a little dark.

"Tell me."

LISA

"Jennie. I am so sorry." I said, my voice soft. "I am so sorry. You deserve so much more than this. I am sorry for putting you through this pain, I am sorry for breaking your heart and your trust, I am sorry for the long way I treated our kids. You deserve so much more. You deserve happiness, love, you deserve someone who will treat you like the queen you are."

"You did give me all those things! You were all those things! For years!"

"I am so sorry."

"Why did you do it?"

"Je-"

"Why?!"

"I felt that shit! Most of the times, I would look at you and I'd hate myself. You were always at home, with me and the kids and I felt like I was holding you back." I shot back. "I wanted to give you something, it felt like I took something away from you... I don't know how to explain but that's just how I feel! It made me feel like shit. And the kids... I was never good enough to be their mother, I never knew things, I never knew how to be what they needed. Not like you. I felt guilty and I didn't know how to let it out. Somi was there. I vented to her, I told her what was on my mind. We talked for months before I so much as kissed her and that's all it had been. That's as sexual as we got."

I pushed my hand through mine and turned around before facing Jennie again. "I meant it when I said I never loved her. I don't feel that way about her. I love you. Always have and always will." I said. "I am sorry." I adds.

Jennie's eyes were clouded and stinging with tears. I know she tried to talk, she opened her mouth but no words came out. She rushed past me, I caught her wrist.

"Jennie..."

"Let me go."

"I don't want to." I replied quietly. "I'm losing you. I'm losing the kids. I feel like I'm going crazy."

"You've lost me! I might love you now but in a few month, hell, in a few years, I won't! You hurt me! You hurt us! Eighteen years, we've been married! You're my best friend, my partner, the dada to my kids. We're meant to tell each other everything, no matter if it's something little. You could have talked to me!"

"I am so sorry."

Tears were spilling down Jennie's face and I takes a cautious step closer. I wraps my arms around her and pulled her closer. I tucked her face into my chest and cried.

I held her fast, my own tears spilling down my face, dropping onto her head. When Jennie calms down, I pull back a little and cups her face.

"Please don't cry. You should never cry, you're too beautiful to cry sad tears and it breaks me to pieces to know that I caused this. I'll miss you. I'll miss our kids. I'll miss our marriage. I'm going to let you go, let you have your wings. I want you to fly." I said, wiping off the tears with my thumb. "I love you."

~~~~~~~~~~