JENNIE

I stared at the building in front of me. Schuss Law Firm. It was a large building with white walls and shiny windows. I let out a sigh and adjusted my sundress.

I realized that I hadn't seen Lisa for weeks, this would be the first time in two weeks that I would. I was scared and so close to crying. All I wanted was to be hugged by my absolute best friend. No, not Rosé.

Lisa Pranpriya Manoban.

I needed my friend and wife. We had been best friends before we started dating, before we got married. I could talk to Lisa about everything and I thought Lisa was doing the same too.

Apparently I was wrong.

I gather my courage and takes the first step towards the building. I was going to do this. Lisa had broken my heart into tiny pieces as well as the heart of the kids. I don't meet anyone's eyes and headed right for the elevators.

Lisa had found comfort in the arms of another woman.

Lisa had kissed and held another woman.

And she had done so much more, judging by the look of the scratch marks on her back.

"You're going to sign and leave. You don't need that son of a bitch, you have all you need." I gives myself a pep talk as I watch the small screen on the elevator telling me what floor I in.

The door was pulled open and I stepped out of the metal box. The entire floor was empty but I knew better. I marched up to the door with all the courage I mustered. There was a gold sign that read Shawn Mendez. I raised my hand, ready to knock but... I don't.

My hand was up in the air, knuckles almost touching the door.

This felt final.

If I knocks, I had to go in and if I did, me and Lisa had to sign the final papers.

It suddenly felt like everything was rushing forward. There was a sharp stinging pain in my chest, a pain so strong it almost brought me to my knees. I tried to pull myself together but it felt like it couldn't be done. I didn't know I was shaking, I didn't know I was crying.

All he heard was the sound of the elevator doors being pushed open, footsteps and then someone saying my name over and over again. Everything sounded muffled, like it was happening far away.

The hands that touched me were cold and funnily enough, felt familiar. I felt like home. I turned my head and looked at Lisa who was staring at me with worry. Oh shit. Lisa shouldn't see me cry. She don't deserve my tears.

The thing is... who wouldn't cry for eighteen years of marriage flushed down the drain?

"... you okay?"

The muffled sound faded out until I heard Lisa's last words. I wanted to smack her on the head and ask her if I looked okay.

"How about we use the restroom? We can wash your face and try to stop your shaking." I don't know if I nodded or not. I let out a small gasp when she slid her hand around my waist and knees and lifted me up.

Thankfully, the nearest bathroom was down the hall. Luckily, it was empty. Lisa gently sat me on the counter and immediately switched the tap on. I grabbed a few paper towels and dabbed at my cheeks, softly wiping the tears off.

"I am so sorry..." she whispered as I bunches up the tissue and threw it into the bin. "Seeing you cry is the worst thing that I've... and it's all my fault."

I didn't say a word. I just let her talk.

"I know I should have come to you. I was insecure and I didn't know how to tell you. How do you tell someone you've dated for almost two decades that you were suddenly insecure? I wasn't sure how you'd have reacted." She said. "Every morning I'd wake up and feel this stroke of guilt, you were always at home, always cleaning and cooking and reading. You had a job but you gave that up for me. The guilt free over the months and I didn't know how to tell you."

"You should have just said it."

"I felt like I was the reason for this and you'd realize what a prick I was and leave. You loved reading manuscripts, you loved writing little notes and correction and finding different ways the plot could go and I took that away from you. I failed you."

My eyes widened. "Lisaaa..."

"I failed you as a wife. I took you away from something you loved. For a while, I couldn't look you in the eye and I ..."

I wanted to reach out and touch her. I wanted to pull her in for a hug but at the same time, I wanted to know.

"Tell me about Somi."

Lisa's eyes widened in shock. "What?"

"Just... tell me."

"Somi worked at the convenience store close to the office."

"What was it about her?" I asked. I was scared of the answer but I needed to know what the blonde woman had that I didn't.

"You. She reminded me of you when we were in college and you worked at that store on campus. Every time I see her, I'd think of you. I could see you through her. I don't know if you understand what I'm trying to say."

I shook my head. "I don't."

"She says the same jokes as you and has this habit of biting her nails when she's nervous, like you."

"I've stopped doing that."

Lisa smiles sadly. "She was not you. That's why I told you I didn't feel anything for her."

"The kids miss you." I said after a long minute of silence. I had wanted to know what about Somi attracted Lisa to her and now I did, even though I didn't fully understand it.

"I miss them too."

"You didn't show it the last few months." I shot, kicking Lisa at the side with the tip of my heels.

"I... am sorry."

"It's not me you have to say that to." I replied with a sniff. I comb my hair using my fingers and licked my lips.

"I really do love them." Lisa said, her voice raw with honesty. I stared at her, my eyes going over Lisa's entire face. I knew and tell tales of Lisa lying.

She was saying the truth. She really did love the kids.

"Last weekend of the month."

"I'll be waiting." Lisa said with a nod.

"Give Kuma time. He's not your biggest fan at the moment. He knew about you and Somi before your slip up at McDonalds." I informed her. "Kuma and Lego have kind of developed a phobia for McDonalds. They don't like going in there. According to Lego, he's scared of what he's going to see."

Lisa takes two steps away from me. She bites her lip and before I could see it, she punched the wall. She kept punching the wall, forcing me to hop down from the counter.

I was scared. Not for myself or of her but for Lisa. She looked like she was about to break down. Her eyes were red, her fist a little bloody and she had this sad look on her face. A look that made my heart hurt.

I gently takes Lisa's non injured hand and led her to the sink. I washed the blood away with warm water and just held on.

Lisa still had on her wedding ring. She never took it off.

"Let's go and see Shawn. He has a first aid kit in his office." I said, I lifts my gaze from her injured hand to her face. "Let's do what we came here to do."

"Jennie..."

I moves forward. I closed the distance between us. I pressed my lips against her, tilting my head just a little bit. She doesn't hesitate to kiss back, she breaks free from my grip and pulled me closer.

Kissing Lisa had always been one of my favorite thing to do. The intense feeling I gets, the tingles and the way my body shakes a little. The way Lisa held me like I was the most precious thing ever.

I moves closer, my hands gripping Lisa's shirt tightly. I mewls when Lisa licks into my mouth, every stroke of her tongue and brush of our nose made me ache. I had missed this so much.

I pull back a little when we need for air became a bit much, I leans back in and pressed a chaste kiss to Lisa before taking several steps backwards.

"We... we should get going."

"Jennie wait..."

"I think I've done enough of that. Don't you?"

I takes one last look at her then made my way out of the bathroom. I walked silently, trying to clear my head. I didn't need to think about anything. We couldn't go back now. Kisses or not.

This time I don't hesitate to knock on Shawn's door. I feels numb now. I could see everything happening, I just... I don't know.

"Are you sure you both want to do this? A lot of married couple are able to sort out their problems through counseling. Your marriage doesn't have to end here."

"Shawn...I am tired. I am so tired. Can we... sign and leave? We've thought about it, we came up with an agreement. Please."

Shawn was a man in his early sixties. He had alt and pepper hair, kind eyes and an way smile. Any other time, I would kindly tell him to fuck off... in a none crude way.

But today...

I just wanted the day to end.

Shawn hands me the fountain pen. As soon as I pressed the pen to the paper, there was a flash, a low rumbling of thunder and in the blink of an eye, rain began to fall.

I frowns as I looked away from the paper. The sky that had once been sunny was dark and gloomy. Like it was depicting how I was on the inside. I looked away from the large windows to the paper in front of me.

If I signs this, everything would be over. Our twenty year relationship would be done. I pressed the pen against the paper and let my hand move. When I was done, I passed the pen and paper over to Shawn who handed it to Lisa.

I focused my gaze on the table. I didn't want to look at anyone's faces. I just wanted to leave. I was tired of all the hurt and all the tears. I jumps a bit when my phone starts to ring. I pulls t out and smiles sadly when I sees Kuma's name flash on my screen.

"Mie, I'm at the reception. I'm going to drive us home." Kuma said, his voice soft.

I was so relieved. I didn't think I could drive home in this state. I hadn't even thought about it and yet, my son did.

"Thank you. I'll be down in a few minutes."

"I'll be here. I got you some yogurt too."

I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry.

I'm not gonna cry.

I'm not.

"This is the final step. The judge had already signed the the judgment for dissolution of marriage and the court clerk will enter this into the court record in an hour." Shawn seemed to take a deep breath before he continued speaking. "You are officially divorced."

That was all I needed to hear. Or maybe it t wasn't. I stood up abruptly and walked out of the room as fast as I could. Thankfully, Shawn's office was on the second floor due to the man's fear of height. I takes the stairs not the elevator. I ran down the stairs as I kept repeating to myself.

I'm not going to cry.

I'm not going to cry.

I'm not going to cry here.

I finds Kuma waiting at the reception, a cup of Pinkberry in his hand. I pulls Kuma into a hug and pressed a kiss to his cheek. My tears almost spilled when I realized Kuma was a little taller than me.

"Miemie.." .." Kuma sounded breathless and shocked at once.

Oh shit. No. I wasn't going to cry here. Kuma hands me his sunglasses. I smiles and slid them on. I grabbed the cup of yogurt and together we made our way to the car. The car ride was silent. The pitter patter of the rain hitting the car.

I rests my head against the window and feigned sleep. We were almost home when Kuma quietly whispered.

"Even the heavens are sad."

That was it. That was the tipping point. Immediately Kuma slid the car into the driveway, I ruffles his hair. I was scared to talk, I was afraid my voice would come out cracked and expose just how pain I was in.

Thankfully, Rosé had taken the kids out. I made a beeline for my room. Once I was in, I shed my dress and shoved them into the bin. I walked to my bathroom and flipped on the water.

I was no longer Jennie Manoban.

No.

I raised my hand up and stared at the finger where my wedding ring used to sit. I was no longer married. I was just Jennie Kim, the woman who had once been married to Lisa Manoban.

I let out a silent scream, tears falling and mixing with the water from the shower. I slid down, pulling my knees to me as I cried. Everywhere hurt. Everything hurt. I felt like I couldn't breathe, it felt like my heart was in too much pain.

I let go and let the broken pieces of my heart fall.

Fall.

And Bleed.

~~~~~~~~~~~