Feel The Pain

Disclaimer: blah blah, I don't own them, blah blah

Author's Note: Please don't kill me! I know it has been a month since I last updated. But my stories decided to disappear for a few weeks and my life has been 5 kinds of crazy. And this is pretty much the climax for this version and I wanted to get it right, so I took my time writing it. Please enjoy and come back for the last chapter!

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Previously on Supernatural...

His ears told him Sammy still wasn't breathing. Why wasn't he healing? Dean stared up at the ceiling, silently praying to hear the unearthly sound of bones being reattached.

A minute passed. Another minute. Five. Dean's body started to shake, unable to hold back the giant sob welling up in his chest. It had been too long. He was gone. Why didn't it work this time? WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T THEY FIX HIM!

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Chapter 6: The Choice

Sam opened his eyes squinting against the brightness of the pure white that surrounded him. He was lying on the floor, if floor was the right word for the vast whiteness that didn't seem to have a shape. Almost afraid to move, he decided using only his eyes would be a good idea right now. Glancing around, he surveyed his surroundings. Nothing but white. Okay. What the fuck is going on. Last I remember, I was on the floor… Sam's eyes widened in shock. All thoughts of staying still gone, his hands shot to his neck, poking and prodding his skin. Please be whole. Please don't be bleeding. A sigh of relief escaped his lips and his hands dropped once more to his sides.

Sam quickly jumped to his feet. If anyone was watching him, they already knew he was awake, so if they were going to attack, better to be upright. Sam looked around, slightly put off by how good he felt.

"Hello?" Sam's voice echoed back, making wherever he was seem even more vast and empty. Sam gave a short snort of laughter. Is this heaven or hell? No, if this was hell, it would be blaring Metallica or AC/DC. Sam smiled, but the humor was quickly lost on himself.

"Dean! Can you hear me?" The echo was chilling.

"Sorry Sammy. Only me here." Sam whipped around, the voice coming from behind, which was oddly empty just a moment ago. And there his brother stood, hands in pockets with his smart grin across his face.

"Dean. You scared the crap out of me." Sam walked over, giving him a friendly punch to the shoulder.

"Again, sorry Sammy. I'm not Dean." Sam's eyes went dark and he took a step back, automatically shifting his body into a fight stance. Shapeshifter. Dean raised his hand in protest.

"No,no. Let me explain." Sam stayed in the stance, only half-listening to what the thing was saying. "I thought it best to take the form of the person you… feel most at ease with. If you prefer, I could be… John?" Dean's features became hazy. When they sharpened again, the hardened and aged face of his father stared back instead. "Better?"

Sam blinked in surprise. He hadn't know what to expect, but to see his brother not be his brother and then suddenly become his father, but still not was a bit too much to take in at once. Not to mention causing a hell of a headache if he thought about it too much.

"Uhhhh… actually… can you just… be yourself."

John tiled his head slightly. "I'm afraid not. You see Sammy, I'm not actually physically here. I'm simply taking a form that you would understand and people being the easiest." A smile appeared on his lips. "Would you prefer I come to you as a talking apple?" John's attempt at humor barely cracked Sam's shield. "You're right. Father is a bit too touchy a subject. Let's try… a childhood confidant." Once again, his features melted. This time, they will replace with the aged, but lively face of Pastor Jim.

"Better?" Sam nodded, relaxing slightly. If he was going to attack, he would have while in Dean's body. At least then he would have been physically stronger. "Alright then, let's get started. Myself and others like me have been watching you, Sammy, for a long time. We have been concerned about your thoughts and believed it to be time to contact you."

Sam's face twisted in confusion. "Wait. What? Who are 'we'? And you call putting me in a white room contacting me? I'd say it's closer to kidnapping!"

The man sighed, calmly smiling in the way Jim would always do when Sam was younger and was caught doing something he wasn't supposed to. "Think of us as… observers. We watch what happens in your reality and if necessary, intervene. We choose no sides, but try to keep a balance. I attempted to contact you several days ago, but due to your abilities, there were some unforeseen complications."

Sam raised his eyebrows as the connection was made. "Are you saying you gave me the vision of that girl being killed by the vampire?"

"Yes. However, the aftereffect was not what we expected. It is our belief that our abilities somehow pushed yours beyond their normal capacity and therefore forced the vision to manifest onto your body physically. Your vision couldn't handle the pressure, and it had to vent itself somehow. We have never had to contact anyone with your type of abilities, thus the unexpectedness."

"Hang on. This is a lot to take in right now." Sam ran his hand through his hair and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm his rolling stomach. Okay, the best defense is a good offense. "Okay. Few questions. One, where is Dean. Two, where are we. Three, ff my vision nearly killed me the first time, why'd you try again? Four, why are you trying to contact me?" Sam paused and grinned sheepishly. "Uhhhh, that's all for now."

Pastor Jim (No, he's not Jim… just some freaky mind demon I have to figure out.) straightened his back a bit and flashed a slightly impressed smile. "Quite inquisitive, are we Sammy?"

"My name is Sam."

Jim gave a slight chuckle. "Sammy, you forget. We are in your mind and I can read it like a book. You never really hated being called Sammy. In fact, that is the one thing you enjoy bickering about back and forth with Dean. And yes, I did answer one of your questions. I entered your mind a few seconds before you died. My abilities are keeping your body in limbo. If I left right now, without explaining myself, we would have to choice but to let you die. Luckily, we are going to talk." The man smiled and waved his hand to a spot behind Sam. "Please, sit."

Sam spun around and found two chairs sitting in the whiteness. Jim took one, waiting. Sam sat slowly, keeping his eyes on the man. "You a fan of The Matrix or something?"

Jim shrugged and grinned. "You are. And this could be a long conversation and I wanted to sit." Sam rolled his eyes. This cryptic shit is getting on my nerves.

"Now." Jim clapped his hands together. "Let's just push through this 'cryptic shit' then, shall we?" He smiled at Sam's eyes widen at the choice of words. "And for the record, I am not some freaky mind demon." The man gave a short laugh. "Remember, like a book. Okay. First, Dean is fine, or as fine as can be expected. He is still in the hotel room, waiting for your body to be healed. He has been waiting for several minutes."

Sam opened his mouth, but was quickly silenced by a wave of a hand. "The more you interrupt, the longer he will wait. I believe I already answered where we are, if you understand that." Sam nodded, not saying anything for fear of delay. "As for why we continued to try to contact you, we felt the ends justified the means. Our intent was to give you the vision and then show you the rest when we made contact after you woke up. However, because of your physical state, we could not enter your mind without breaking it. Yes, your visions took an unpleasant side effect, but we healed you easily enough and we felt a second try was worth it. But, as you know, that also did not end well. The third would have been disastrous if I had not managed to get into you in time. Luckily, your mind is stronger than we thought."

The man paused, as if unsure how to continue. He stared, reading how scared and confused the young Winchester was. He almost reached out and grasped Sam's hand, as Pastor Jim would do when the boy was upset as a child, but thought better of it. Sam shifted in his chair, suddenly uncomfortable with the silence.

"Okay." Sam's hands trembled slightly as his brain tried to absorb the vast amount of information he had just been told. "So what did you want to tell me? What was worth almost killing me three times and putting my brother through hell trying to save me?"

Jim's dark eyes bore into Sam's, accepting the angry tone. "What did each vision have in common?"

Sam rolled his eyes, having thought enough about the vision in the last few days to have already figured that out. Now isn't exactly the time to play riddle-me-this, but whatever, I'll play for now.. "They were hunters. Like me and Dean."

To Sam's disappointment, Jim shook his head. "Close Sammy. Yes, they were all hunters, but they, even Dean, have all done something you have not."

Sam tilted his head, his brow creasing in confusion. "What?"

The man leaned forward, clenching his hands together. "I'll put this simply for our lack of time. They have accepted it, Sammy."

"What? Accepted it? I have…"

"It's true Sammy. You have not accepted your place in the grand scheme of things. And that is a problem." The man sat up, leaning into the chair, but was in no way relaxing. "Each of those hunters you saw… They all had another life without the supernatural, just like you. But they accepted their fate. They left their old lives and worked toward a greater good. They were destined to fight evil, just as you are. But you are different. You refuse to give up your dreams of a life outside of the hunt. So I am here, Sammy, to tell you to give up those dreams. They are not your destiny."

Sam suddenly stood, fury in his eyes. His hands clenched into fists. "Who the hell are you to tell me what to do with my life? I was never meant to live normally? Never to marry Jessica and have a family? Why should I fight things people don't even believe in? Why can I just be normal! Give me one good reason why not!" Sam shouted into Jim's face, who stared back calmly. So. Infuriatingly. Calmly.

"Because you will die. As will Dean. And hundreds upon hundreds of innocent people."

Sam sucked in a sharp breath, his anger fading at once. He and Dean had always been saving people, but had never actually considered the sheer number. Yes, there had always been a few people to save physically from something, which usually included killing the evil sonofabitch. But the 'what if' scenario was mind boggling. What if we didn't hunt? What if every evil thing we have killed was still out there? Hundreds of people… And Dean? Sam's knees suddenly went weak and he half collapsed into the chair, cradling his head in his hands.

"I just wanted to choose my own path." Sam whispered. I didn't want to be my father."

"Even the most undesired and ugly path needs to be walked from time to time." Jim stood, pausing as an idea came to mind. "Would it help to see something? A possible future for you and your brother? One that does not include hunting for you."

Sam looked up. Without warning, the whiteness that surrounded the two men flooded to life, as if the whole room was one huge television screen. Sam's mouth fell open as he saw the scenes flash by, each no longer than a few seconds. He saw himself waking up on the floor healed. He and Dean argued and Sam left. He returned to school and became a lawyer. Jim's voice rang in his ear, cuing the images to change by his word.

"You would become a lawyer, as you so desperately want to be. You would meet a young girl named Jasmine. You would marry after a year and have children soon after."

Sam watched, seeing himself sit in a room, working alone.

"You and Dean would never talk after you go back to school. You would have no idea what he is doing. You would have no idea when he dies."

The scene shifted abruptly. Sam gasped as he watched his brother fight an invisible enemy, crumpling to the ground as his throat was slit by an indistinguishable claw reaching out of the darkness. Dean lay on the ground, his mouth gasping for breath until he was finally still. The scene shifted once more, despite Sam's cry of anguish.

"You would grow old Sammy. You would lose the fitness you have and you would forget. Hunting would not be a part of you anymore."

Jim glanced at Sam, whose eyes were shiny with tears. He hated to continue, but knew it was for the best.

"And one night Sammy, you will come home to find your family being held by a possessed human. You will watch as each member of your family is killed because you could not help." Sam gasped, the tears flowing down his cheeks at the horrifying scene of his family, his wife and three children, being sacrificed right in front of him. "And then you will die, further helping a demonic ritual take place."

The air returned to white as Sam fell to his knees, sobs wracking his chest.

"How… why… how could you… let this happen!" Tears continued to flow, staining his face. "You are supposed to help! Keep a balance! You are killing what is good!"

A glimmer of sadness passed in Jim's eyes. "We do not control Sam. We only observe and intervene when absolute necessary. The intervention for this future is right now. We are not forcing your hand, simply showing a possible result. This may not happen, but it also has just a good of a chance of being your future. You may take the path of not hunting, but not without consequences. For you and for those you love." Jim sighed. How he wished to make the decision easier on the boy. But then again…

"No." Sam slowly pushed himself up, staring the man in the eye. "I won't let this happen. I'll… I'll stay in touch with Dean. I'll keep training on the side…"

Jim shook his head, cutting him off. "Sammy, do you really think we would let you return with the memory of this possible outcome?"

Sam lowered his eyes, the realization hitting him gut. "I won't remember." He muttered. "How can you do this? You tell me the only way for me to be happy is to let everyone die? And it will all be because of me."

"No Sammy. I am simply showing you what will happen if you do not accept who you are. Your path was chosen long before you were even born. You were placed on it early in life, and yet you still fight it." Sam ran his hand through his hair, his eyes darting back and forth as his mind worked through all the possibilities. "I know it cannot be easy. You want to believe you are in control of your life. But there are bigger things than an individual person. And yet that one person can make the biggest difference. It is a conundrum which will never be solved."

Sam raised his head, looking the man in the eye. Understanding sat behind his eyes. "I know."

As soon as the words left his mouth, the whiteness began to fade. It was slowly replaced with a deep sunset purple. Sam looked around in amazement. The man nodded.

"You've made your decision. It's an unconscious choice Sammy. And even if you won't remember this, you have accepted your place. Your mind will be at peace." The man stepped forward, his image beginning to take on a haze. He grasped Sam's hand in his own.

"Thank you Samuel."

At the man's touch, Sam felt a warm numbness overtake his body. His eyes slid shut and the purple became black.

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Hope the wait was worth it and believe me, I know it was a long wait. The end was slightly inspired by the old fashion Deux et Machina way of ending a story, in which one thing fixes everything in the story, usually a God descending from above. Hope this wasn't too much of a cop out, but I like the idea that the cause wasn't evil in intent. I must have rewritten this chapter a hundred times and it has turned out completely different than I originally pictured. Hope you liked it. Please R&R. One more chapter to go. But come back for Version B!