JENNIE

I stood in front of the cereal aisle. I knew what to get but any times I gets to this particular aisle it's like I forgets what I wanted to pick, so I ends up staring at the different boxes of cereal until something clicks in my head. I had been standing there for close to six minutes before I reached out and took the purple box of Cheerios.

I was about to dump it into my trolley when someone comes to stand beside me. I took in the blonde hair, white fitted shirt and skinny jeans and the same face I spent half a year menatlling scratching.

"Oh... it's you."

I ignored her and placed the box into the trolley. I also adds the fruit and fiber one for Lego Weetabix for Lily.

"Ignoring me isn't going to work."

I took a deep breath before turning around. I gives her a smile, blaring fake and says. "Oh. Somi, I didn't see you there."

She stared at me for a couple seconds, a smirk sliding onto her lips. "Aren't you Charming? I wonder if it was your rude attitude that sent Lisa running to me."

I gripped the handle of the trolley. The last thing I needed was to bitch slap someone in public. Thankfully I was interrupted by someone sliding their hand around my hips.

"Babe, did you get the cereal?" GD asks as he throw a in a bag of chocolate into the trolley. Somi was now staring at me with wide eyes, her mouth slightly open. "Is she giving you trouble?" He gestured towards Somi.

"She's not important enough to give me trouble. Can you please help me get a pint of ice cream from the freezer?" I asked, smiling up at him. He chuckled and with a kiss to my temple, made his way out of the cereal aisle.

"Look, blondie. I get what you're trying to do but I really don't care. Lisa fucked you and dumped you, you're not less than a used up dirty tissue. Thrown away. You are not worth my time nor are you worth me mentally agonizing over. I honestly don't know why Lisa said we look alike." I gestured between us. "Sure you look a bit like the younger version of me but you don't have anything I did and do. You are not worth more than the grains of sand underneath my shoes. So if you think you can threaten me or say something petty, kiss my ass as I walk away."

I pulled my trolley away, leaving her behind. I had never asked Kuma how he knew Somi and not once in the two years since the divorce had I crossed paths with her until today. I don't feel satisfied though, the urge to go back and slap Somi so hard she bleeds through her nose was so strong.

I finds GD at the freezer, looking through the different flavors.

"Just grab the mint chocolate and salted caramel." I said to him who does just as asked. After since that night at the party, me and GD has texted, had dinner and continued talking. He was a man full of jokes and was very tactile, always touching me one way or another.

It's been two weeks and whatever it is we are or have, it's going strong. He hasn't met the kids yet. I couldn't keep introducing man after woman to the kids. I wanted to be sure Jiyong was alright and safe. I didn't want to make a mistake.

"So who was that girl?"

"She's someone who brings out an ugly side of me." I replied. He takes control of the trolley as we made our way towards the self serve machine. I hands him the products and he scans it.

"I want to know all about this ugly side of yours. I don't actually believe you have an ugly side."

I just shakes my head at him. There were a lot of things the he didn't know about me. He didn't know who my wife was, he didn't know how I marriage had ended, he didn't know the blonde was the woman my ex wife had ruined our marriage with. So yeah, GD didn't know a lot of things and I was not ready to tell him any time soon.

"I keep telling you flattery will get you nowhere."

"I beg to differ." He pauses what he was doing, the bag of chips in his hand. He leaned closer and pressed his lips to mine pulling me in for a soft kiss, the trolley separating them a bit.

Kissing him, I had come to find out, was great. There were no tingles but he was a darn good kisser, making my toes curl at how passionate and demanding I could be or make my heart pound when it's a soft kiss, no tongue, just them.

I pulls back a couple seconds later, my hand on his shoulder. "Too many people."

"Don't care."

"I do." I replied. My bags all everything and swiped my card. He grabbed the receipt after its printed and together we walk to the car.

It's a bit past one on Tuesday. GD had wanted a lunch date with me but I has turned it down, saying I had to go grocery shopping because it was my only free time, this week and I'll be damned if I goes to the nearest Tesco at ten in the night to buy milk or other things. The manuscript I was reviewing had to be submitted by Thursday and the cover picked by Friday. So I truly was busy. Jiyong being him turns up in his red BMW just as I was about to step out of my office.

GD drops me off at home and kept the car idling in the driveway. He waited for me to put the groceries where they should be. I checks every room in the house before locking the door. The kids would be back at four and I would be home by five.

"You really didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to. I want to spend time with you and I will do it however I can." He replies, his hand resting on me.

"You're sweet."

"You deserve sweetness." He squeezed my hand a bit. He had picked me up from the publishing house and now he was going to drop me off back there. The car ride was filled with small talk as he spoke about his day.

Once we got to the front of my workplace, GD kills the engine and turned to me.

"Will I see you again?"

I finds myself smiling. "Yes."

"Can I take you out soon?"

"It can't be this week, I have a lot of work." I said. "And I'm going to need you to tell me the exact date next week so I can look for a sitter."

GD raised my hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. And for the first time in two weeks, I thinks about Lisa. Ever since I met GD, all thoughts about Lisa was pushed back. It had never been like this with Mino and as I realizes, it scared me.

I looked at Jiyong. Taking in his red hair in its signature bun, the beard and the dark suit him had on. We had both been at work before their mini lunch grocery shopping/date. This man was nothing like Lisa. I couldn't put what I was feeling into words by I knew that was different. I just wasn't sure if it was a good different.

"I'll call you."

"You better." I teases. I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to GD's cheeks before getting down from the car.

LISA

"Insecurity, Lisa, is quite common, especially in relationships. It's something many couples and many people deal with too. Can you describe the relationship you and your ex wife used to have?"

I looks around the room. The walls were white with flower portraits hanging off the walls. My doctor, Vanessa Harris, was sitting on a black couch while I was on the long L-shaped couch, my right leg bouncing.

Stepping into this room had taken a great deal of pushing myself forward, one leg in front of the other. Eugene was waiting for me in the waiting room right outside and that gave me the little boost I needed.

Just before I opened the door, I had this burning urge to whip out my phone and call Jennie. I just wanted to hear her voice. I hasn't heard it or seen her for weeks now and I was about to take this big step and I wished Jennie was by my side.

"Lisa..."

I looked away from the painting to my therapist. "Did you hear my question?" She asked, her voice soft and hand moving swiftly against her note pad.

"I did..."

"Is this something you don't want to talk about?" She asked and I shook my head. Talking about Jennie was like breathing air to me but now I feels choked and was always quiet when someone mentions anything regarding marriage or love.

"She is my everything. We met twenty two years ago in high school. We were both seniors but Jennie was a year younger than me, that smarty girl. I followed her around for a bit, carrying her books and helping with any assignments with calculations in it and two months later we kissed. Falling in love and into a relationship was easy with her and I wanted everything. We went to the same university and that same year, we got our little boy Kuma. When Jennie told me she was carrying I was so happy."

I paused, I leaned back into the couch and looked right at the painting again.

"Jennie was the love of my life, still is. I tried my best to provide for her and my children. I tried to be always around and I leaned on her. She was my rock, we were each other's rock. I got married to her right after Kuma's birth and my mother was always on our necks. But Jennie just let me hold onto her, she gave me everything. She managed to complete her schooling while raising a little boy and I did job after job so I could take care of them. I got a job when Kuma was six, I made it only six months before she told me she was going to resign, I supported her too. I was about to get promoted and I thought I could take care of them."

Vanessa listens carefully, her eyes on me crying in front of her.

"We had Lego a couple years after, a wonderful quiet baby, then Lily, our little ray of sunshine and finally Luca, our sweetheart."

"When did you start hearing your critical inner voice?" Vanessa asks.

"Two months after Luca was born. Jennie was offered a manuscript to look through and it was a book she had been looking forward to but she couldn't. She was with Luca and I was at work, there was no time. I cried that night when I thought I was sleeping and the first thing I thought of was, this was my fault. It's my fault she's upset."

"Did you tell her how you were feeling?"

"Of course not!" I shout up from the couch, my fingers pushing in my way through my hair. "She already had enough on her plate and I didn't want to add to that. I tried taking more breaks so she could get time, I tried everything but it felt like I wasn't doing enough!"

Vanessa's hand moved swiftly on the page, her eyes still trained on me. Once she stops, she waits for me to settle down. It took a couple of minutes until I does go back to the ouch.

"Do you talk to your mother?"

I shook my head. "I cut off all contact with her after she yelled at Jennie for trapping me."

"Do you feel like Jennie did trap you?"

"Of course not. Why the fucking hell would I think so? I loved her too much and I did what I wanted to do, what I wanted to do. To be honest, that was our next step and it was going to happen, baby or not."

Vanessa nods. She was about to speak when a little timer goes off. She flipped her notepad closed and leaned forward, her elbows resting on her thighs.

"That would be all for today, Lisa. Thank you for opening up." She said. "We are going to use Voice Therapy for you. I want you to vocalize your inner voice and write them down." Vanessa walked over to her drawer and grabbed a dark green diary, a small flower design on the edge.

"I want you to write down every self critical thoughts and write them down, not as you but as a second person. For instance, instead of writing I am not smart, you write, she is not smart.

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