LISA

"Lisa, how do you feel about letting Jennie in on one of our session?" Vanessa asked, she torn and note pad in hand.

I froze and stared at her with wide eyes.

"Now?"

"Sometime in the future."

"I'd like that but I don't know if she's going to come." I drops my gaze to my hand and sighed. Vanessa stared at home and took a couple of notes.

"Have you seen Jennie since our session last week?"

"No. I only ever see her at the end of the month, when I pick the kids."

Vanessa nods. "And how does that make you feel?"

"Sad. I always want to hug her and kiss her and I want to spend time with all of them, Jennie and the kids. I just want us to be a family again."

"You didn't spend time with any of your kids the year of your divorce, can you tell me why?"

"Guilt. I felt like I wasn't doing enough for them and I couldn't face them knowing what I was doing outside."

"Can you tell me what it was you were doing outside?"

"I was... seeing... Somi"

"Was she your girlfriend or just a lover?"

"A lover. I didn't really have feelings for her, she just reminded me of Jennie, when we were younger. And I couldn't help myself."

"What did you do with her? What was the extent?"

"Kissing. I couldn't go past that."

"Can you tell me why?"

"It felt wrong. I couldn't do it often, it made my stomach turn and I'd gag."

"Did Somi know about this?"

"No. I tried to hide it as much as possible."

"Do you still talk to her? Somi, I mean." Vanessa asked, shutting her notepad and placing her pen on it. Her legs were crossed and her glasses perched on her nose.

"I haven't since that day at McDonalds."

JENNIE

"Ms. Kim? This is Stella Ford from Greenwood High School. I'm calling regarding your son, Kuma Manoban." A female voice said into the phone and I jerks up from my seat.

I was currently at work, my table covered by a sea of papers with red pens marking some parts. My coat was hanging off the back of my chair and there was a pen stuck behind my ear for emergency reasons.

"What happened to Kuma?"

"We would like you to come down to the school to see principal Mclowie as this is a matter that concern both you and your partner. Ms. Lisa Manoban has already been called and is on her way."

I didn't need to hear anymore. She burst out of her office, tells her secretary as she ran down that she was going to work home for the day and ran down the stairs, she couldn't wait for the elevator. Once she got to her car, she hit the open button for the remote and got into the car and drove off, pulling out of the parking lot like a crazed person.

Had something bad happened to Kuma? What could have even happened? Was he by by one of the students cars? No. It's not even up to one in he afternoon. Kuma's lunch would have been over by now. So what the heck exactly happened?

By the time I got to Greenwood High, I was already sick with worry. I didn't bother locking my car, I just made my way into the school. I lets out a sigh I hadn't known I was holding when I sees Lisa standing in front of the Principal's door.

"Do you know what happened?" I asked her who was also looking worried.

"I have no idea. Lets go in." She held open the door for me and let the me go in first. Principal Mclowie was staring at Kuma who was seated at the other side of the room, his bag beside him. I almost collapsed onto the chair in relief. My son was okay, he wasn't bleeding or dead or dying somewhere.

"Ah. Ms. Manoban. Ms. Kim." The man gets up and gives them both handshakes. Principal Mclowie was an elderly man with an entire head of white hair and half moon glasses on his nose.

"I'm sure you're wondering why you were called."

"Can you tells us why we were?" Lisa asked, her hand on my back, patting softly while I tried to get my breathing under control. Kuma sees this and doesn't say a thing. He just watched.

"Your son was caught with a bag of weed as well as four sachets of rohypnol." Principal Mclowie said to us before turning to Kuma. "He was trying to take the pills in the bathroom when he was caught by a teacher." The principal pulls open one of his drawers and dropped a freezer bag onto the table and I just took a deep breath as I tried to pull myself together. Tears stinging the back of my eyes.

"He is sober as of now. We had the nurse check for symptoms and he's okay. Kuma has been suspended for a month and thirty marks will be taken out of his school work.

Lisa's hand on my back had stilled and she was staring at the principal in shock.

"His suspension is effective immediately." The principal said. "I don't know what is going on at home but you should watch your kids properly. It always starts small, from weed to c-"

Lisa stands up, glaring at the principal. "Thank you for informing us. Kuma get your bag, we're leaving now. Jennie..."

I don't say anything, I takes one look at Kuma and walked out of the office. I couldn't believe this. I had worked my fucking ass off and had given my kids money for food or snacks or even to go to the movies with and Kuma has used it for drugs. He's seventeen! A fucking kid! His kid!

Wanting to know the full meaning of using rohypnol, I pulled it my phone and googled it. I had to ping myself so I wouldn't drop to the floor. Rohypnol was also a date rape drug, it turned the tongue blue and... isn't that just the icing on the cake.

"Your tongue is blue, Kuma."

"Colored getorade, Mom"

"Why is your tongue blue, Kuma?"

"It's soda, Miemie. Stop worrying."

What the hell had I been doing that I didn't notice Kuma was taking pills? I leaned against the car and tried to pull myself together. What if I hadn't noticed on time and my son had moved onto stronger things? Or one day, I'd go into Kuma's room and find him with a foamy mouth and - no. I wasn't going to think about that.

"Jennie..." Lisa calls as I made my way towards the car, Kuma behind her looking like he was close to crying. I look up at Lisa and took several calming breaths.

"Get in the car, Kuma."

"Mo-"

"It's... okay. Just get in the car."

"Jennie..." Lisa calls again. I looked away from the car to my ex wife.

"You can meet us at my house. We have to discuss this and our next step. He's your son too."

I gets into my car after that. The car ride home was quiet, I'm not trying to think and cry while Kuma stared out the window, nervously playing with his fingers. I pulled into the driveway and stops the engine. Kuma didn't need to be told, he gets out of the car and made his way into the house.

I leaned my head against the steering wheel, my sadness tearing itself and building into anger. I lifts my head from the steering wheel when I heard someone knock on the the window.

I let out a sigh when I sees it was Lisa and got out of the car.

"It's going to be alright."

"I don't fucking know that, do I?" I snaps. "He's been living with me for years and lying to my fucking face."

"I know you're mad..."

"Mad, disappointed, so freaking irritated and many more."

"We have to talk to him." She said, expressing herself with her hands.

"Oh, so you know about communication?" I sneered. "Where was this brilliance when you were cheating on me?"

"I know you are angry but can we focus on our boy who is inside and by the look on his face, scared beyond his life?" She said, running a hand through her hair. I takes a step forward, ready to spit fire when Lisa's words register in my head, I didn't bother looking to see if my neighbors were watching, I just marched my way into the house and into the living room where Kuma was pacing.

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

"Mom, It was just..."

"How long?"

"Two years." Kuma whispered.

"Where did you get them? You can't get the ref without a prescription." Lisa said, taking a seat on the edge of one couch.

"I just got them."

"This isn't another episode of Snitches Get Stitches. Who the hell gave you the drugs?" I snapped, my hand tugging at his shirt.

"Mommy..."

"One year." I said. "You're grounded for a year and I'll keep adding whenever you don't tell me who gave it to you. So tell me Kuma James Manoban, who in the hell gave you the drugs?"

"Xev."

I stared at my son for a second, two and burst into old laughter. "Xavier Denver gave you drugs. Xavier who is repeating his sixth form, Xavier who looks like he's one step away from being tossed into prison, Xavier who tried to-" Lisa breaks off to let out a sigh. She ran a hand down my face and tried to calm down.

"Tell us why, Kuma?"

"Because of you two! Before the divorce Mommy was always sad or crying and you both were always screaming at each other and I just wanted it to go away."

Kuma's answer stunned me who stumbled back like I was hit with something. There's a familiar stinging feeling behind my eyes and I spun around, so Kuma won't see him cry. I has already done enough damage.

"Kuma, drugs aren't the answer."

"They seemed like it at the time!" Kuma yelled and Lisa took a step forward, jaw clenched.

"Drugs aren't something you can just pick up. It isn't the same as picking your nose or some other thing. You could have died. Some people overdose on their first try! We could have lost you." Lisa snapped and the words got close to home that I had to hold onto something. The couch.

"I am sorry."

"Sorry isn't going to cut it."

"Kuku..." I says once I had gotten myself together and turns around. I tried to stop shaking but I couldn't. I reached out and pulls my son into my arms, holding him tight. "I am so disappointed in you. You should have come to me. Why didn't you come to me?"

Kuma lets out a wrecked sob and held onto my dress tightly.

"You are grounded until I feel like lifting it. No laptops, no going out. You're seventeen but you're under my roof." I pulled back and pressed a kiss to Kuma's temple.

"Therapy. You have to go for therapy, I know a good one and she's my assigned doctor but she can help out or recommend someone." Lisa said, her hand on Kuma's back.

Kuma's eyes were red, so was his nose. He was silently crying and it just breaks my heart more. I tells my child to go to the room and once Kuma was gone, I collapsed into Lisa's arms.

"We broke our boy, Lisa." I cried. "What if we hadn't found out. What if I had gone into his room one morning a-"

"Shh. It's fine, Jen. He's alive, you held him, you hugged him. He's fine. He's going to be fine."

"I can't lose my child too."

~~~~~~~~~