Disclaimer: sorry, you're about one chapter too late for that one. Trying going back to chapter one.
Kuroi-chan's disclaimer: The nickname 'Sagi-chan is copyrighted to Kuroi. Any other who uses it will be mocked, laughed at, and will ultimately suffer at the hands of her vengeful and depressing wrath. That, and she'll nag me into yelling at you.
Saaski-chan's disclaimer: The nickname Leeni-chan is copyrighted to Saaski. Use it and die.


AN Just to be fair – I really wasn't planning on working on this. Just to be annoying, the next fic I'm going to be updating is probably not going to be this one. To be cruel, I'm going to request that people help me in coming up with a plot. And, hey – to round it all off – to be kind, I'll give whoever comes up with the best plot a cookie. Please note that I'm really glad that this wasn't an instant hit fic, because if I get more than 100 reviews before the next update [whenever the hell that is] I'll feel obligated to continue working on this. Enjoy!

Warning: If you haven't yet noticed, this is going to be a YAOI fic. With OOC characters, rabid crickets, a random raccoon and an insane author. You have now been warned.
Gaara/Naruto

Chapter 2

Gaara paced the park pathway furiously while waiting for his cricket wielding idiot of a friend to arrive. It wasn't that he was impatient or anything, okay, so maybe he was a little impatient, but damnit - he said ten minutes and Naruto now had nine minutes and twelve seconds until he was late! Two minutes of pacing the sidewalk later, the gourd carrying oddity grew slightly nervous.

What if Naruto wasn't going to come? What if the blond had realized what a horrible friend Gaara really was and was planning on ditching him? Worse yet, what if Naruto had been attacked by fifty-thousand killer birds like in that movie "Birds"?

Okay, so maybe that wasn't all that probable.

Okay, knowing Naruto, it could be probable.

Gaara made it a note to himself to not watch bad late-night movies when he was supposed to be sleeping. This of course, went below the note to himself which stated that he wasn't allowed to kill his older brother, and that offering to buy ramen for Naruto was as good as giving the executioner the ax and saying "be done with it."

The red head quickened his pace, because we all know that the faster one paces, the faster time will fly by, and he was soon leaving a trail of dust behind him. Two minutes later, making this four minutes and forty-eight seconds after he had called Naruto, Gaara relented with his pacing and removed his gourd before sitting down in the abandoned sand-box.

Then, without as much as an: "I feel so lame" expression, Gaara began building a high quality sandcastle with the slightly damp sand. He built this castle with an air of: "Yes, I am the most feared boy in my school. Yes, I am making a sandcastle, and yes, it is possible for me to kill you with sand."

"Oi! Gaara!"

A pair of orange clad arms wrapped around him in a glomp attack, either unaware or unafraid of the smug and deadly aura Gaara was giving off. But then again, taking into consideration the identity of the glomper, he was probably both unaware and unafraid.

Yes, it was Naruto.

Gaara twitched but otherwise remained silent. If he timed it just right...

Chirp. Chirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp.

He smirked.

"Mou... why do you always make them chirp?" Naruto whined, unplastering himself from his friend's gourd-free back.

"Naruto," Gaara said, turning around to reveal his perfect sandcastle complete with balconies, little flags that read: "Stalking is just another form of friendship!" and a clear water mote that held a few dead bugs. "I see dead people."

Chirp. Chirrrrrrp.

"EHHHHHHHH?!"

"Actually, I'm being stalked by a possessed raccoon. It's over there."

Gaara pointed towards the strange little critter that had been following him ever since he had gotten home earlier that day. It seemed to be chuckling in a strangely sadistic way as it waddled across the teeter-totter.

Chirp. ...Chirp?

"Gaara, I don't see a raccoon. And my crickets think you're a crazy homicidal lunatic."

"You can discern their chirping now?"

"You try being followed by crickets for two years and we'll see if you can tell the difference between their chirping or not! And if their chirping says that you're a homicidal lunatic, then – damnit! – you're a homicidal lunatic!" Naruto shot back with an air of: "I knew you were only my friend because of the crickets. I think I'm going to run home and sob into my pillow now, you bastard."

Gaara rolled his eyes and stood up before Naruto could actually run home in tears. Sure, he knew that he tended to give off the "I'm a homicidal lunatic who's about to kill you for pleasure and profit" vibe, but it was nothing to get hysterical about. His left eye twitched slightly in irritation. Then his right eye twitched, as did the muscles in his fingers. That gave his hands the sort of: "I'm really itching to find Uchiha Sasuke and turn him into my prey" illusion.

"Stop being melodramatic and help me with the stupid raccoon." The most feared boy snapped, not bothering to get his twitching under control.

Hey, this was Naruto he was twitching about here. He'd be lucky if he lasted the night without somehow managing to twitch his way to death.

"I already told you I don't see a raccoon!" Naruto wailed, gesturing wildly around the abandoned and nearly pitch-black park. He blinked suddenly, his gaze focusing just behind his still twitching friend. Then his gaze transferred back to his twitching friend with an air of curiosity. If he squinted his eyes just right, the twitching seemed like it was twitching along to the song: "She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes".

Quite a toe-tapper.

Naruto shook his head, remembering the last time he had put Gaara's twitching to song – such a traumatizing experience that had been, too – and refocused on the sandcastle. "Oi, Gaara, did you know that there's a raccoon destroying your sandcastle?"

Forget the night - Gaara would be lucky if he lasted five minutes without twitching into a grave.

===

It had taken a while, but about five AM, Naruto finally had a grasp on Gaara's situation. A very loose grasp, mind you, but a grasp none the less.

"So... you're being stalked by a possessed raccoon that only you and I can see... and you see dead people?" Naruto repeated for what seemed to be the fiftieth time after nearly falling asleep through Gaara's "raccoon and dead people" rant about fifty times. It's wonderful how those numbers worked together, isn't it?

"I DON'T SEE DEAD PEOPLE!"

The few remaining birds in the park attempted to take flight. Unfortunately for them, birds who are dubbed flightless through science cannot fly – and thus they were stuck facing Gaara's wrath along with Naruto.

The poor birds.

The morning sun peaked over the horizon, Naruto's crickets gave off a few sleepy chirps, and Gaara continued to twitch in the pre-dawn of what would be yet another hot summer day. He had long since passed the "Sasuke is my prey" twitching and moved on to "why did I allow this idiot to become my friend" twitching.

"Okay, explain it to me again."

The crickets woke long enough to give off two annoyingly loud chirps that would probably translate to: "gods, what a moron!"

"Raccoon. That's it."

"Why didn't you say that in the first place?!"

"..."

Twitch.

So, yeah, it was going to be a rather hot summer day.

AN I hope for all your sake that you read the authors notes at the start of this chapter [gods, what a short chapter too!] and took heed to them. This fic doesn't have a plot. If I'm going to continue working on it, I'm going to need one. I recommend sending me ideas... or a random high school memory. That works too.

Oh, right. Review and I might update.