Disclaimer: Way back at the beginning of the fic. If you missed it – too stinking bad.
Kuroi-chan's Disclaimer: The nickname 'Sagi-chan is copyrighted to Kuroi. Any other who uses it will be mocked, laughed at, and will ultimately suffer at the hands of her vengeful and depressing wrath. That, and she'll nag me into yelling at you.
Saaski-chan's Disclaimer: The nickname Leeni-chan is copyrighted to Saaski. Use it and die.

 

 

AN So, I decided to work on this a little more because I got slightly bored. That, and my face started to swell and it made me think of Chubby-Bunny. And that made me think of a conversation I had with Duffy, about how Sasuke would probably win that game because of his chubby face. And besides, who can give up the chance to torture Gaara a little? It's fun!

 

 

 

 

Chapter 5

Okay, so, by this point in the story, it's pretty safe to say that Gaara is very aware of his sexual preferences. It's also probably safe to admit that Naruto has never really thought about it - but he doesn't really think about much, so that's no big surprise either. After the Theme Park-slash-Water Park fiasco, which ended up leaving Naruto's left hand in a cast, Gaara was even surer of his sexual preferences and became very, very possessive to his one and only friend.

This is how he managed to get roped into helping the blond clean his house.

Summer cleaning at Naruto's house was a rather interesting experience. Especially given the fact that Naruto's house doesn't have air-conditioning, and was currently around eighty-eight degrees inside, while it was ninety degrees outside. Wow, a whole two degrees difference. Shukaku and the crickets, seeing as they were both portable and insignificant to this part of the chapter, were hidden in the basement freezer, feeling very smug that they were able to keep frozen in the hot summer months. Naruto was currently running around shirtless, using said shirt to dust, while Gaara stared and attempted not to drool too obviously.

Good thing for Gaara, Naruto wasn't very observant, and therefore didn't connect the big puddle on the floor, with Gaara's salivary glands.

"Damn, I hope the roof isn't leaking," Naruto worried, eyeing the puddle on the floor near Gaara's feet. "Iruka-sensei doesn't make enough money to hire a real roofer. We'd be stuck with some perverted old guy again..."

"..." Gaara responded, taking a moment to wipe off his chin and avert his gaze to something that wasn't a shirtless Naruto. Hey look... a wall.

Because walls are truly fascinating structures, and Naruto didn't honestly care about Iruka-sensei's financial future, the author had chosen to skip ahead a bit. This is to save the readers from staring at walls themselves.

Okay, admit it. You just looked at a wall, didn't you?

Anyway... after this rather abrupt scene change, our two favorite rejects are now lying down for a well deserved rest. They are sweaty and exhausted, tired from all the physical activity they had just been engaged it. Ack! No, you hentai! They were just cleaning! Naruto's house doesn't have air conditioning! Geez, get your minds out of the gutters!

"Mou..." Naruto moaned, throwing one arm over his face in a showy way of saying: 'I'm really, really, really, really, really, really tired.' "Why doesn't Iruka-sensei clean the house during the spring, like normal people?" The blond paused to think. "On that note, where is he anyway?"

"..." Gaara replied from his spot on the floor. He had chosen to turn down Naruto's offer to share the bed, probably one of the red head's more sensible ideas. Based on the fact of how much water he had needed to consume because of self-inflicted dehydration, it was probably a safe precaution for Gaara to stay on the floor.

"What do you mean he's out on a date?!" Naruto snorted in disbelief. His mirth, however, quickly ended as his eyes suddenly widened and he sat up faster than one would think possible. "Shukaku! The Crickets! We left them in the freezer!!"

And the two boys rushed down to the basement (stopping once or twice as they got distracted by other more interesting things) and to the freezer. Only to find that their possessed and mostly invisible raccoon and annoying fan club of crickets had been frozen.

"C-c-chr-p." One rather blue looking cricket managed to attempt before it fell over and ceased to move.

...

"BWAHAHAHA!" Naruto laughed, not even trying to hide how amusing he thought frozen crickets and raccoons to be. "That's so funny!"

Gaara twitched slightly. This twitch wasn't an irritated twitch, it was... more of a muscle spasm that he fiercely tried to hold back. He wouldn't laugh. Not even in front of Naruto. That would ruin his "Feared Boy" image. So, he settled for twitching.

This was all and good until Naruto decided he didn't want a frozen raccoon in his freezer and turned to Gaara with a half laughing, half serious look on his face.

"Ne, Gaara [hehehehe!] would you [hehe...] get it out of my [hahahaha!!!] freezer?"

Gaara, unable to deny the blond anything, did as asked. It was just a simple favor until the semi-invisible beast suddenly awoke from its apparently not-so-frozen state and jumped into Gaara's body.

"BWAHAHA!" Gaara suddenly boomed in a blatantly out of character way, and in a voice that was way too femmy to be his own. "I am in control of Gaara now! Watch as I, Shukaku no Tanuki, finally receives a good role in this fanfiction!! BWAHAHAHA!"

And then the red haired boy shook his head, and his voice returned back to its normal sullen low-tone voice. Shukaku was blasted out of the pale boy's body and back into the freezer, the door shutting firmly. "Naruto... korosu!"

But Naruto was too busy rolling on the ground in hysterics to care as his best friend pounced on him and attempted to choke him to death.

And, as this is the best moment for Iruka-sensei to appear... he will. And let's just say that he slightly misinterpreted the scene before his eyes. That scene being: Naruto unable to breathe because of his laughing fit, and Gaara sitting on his chest, arms around his neck. May it also be noticed that Naruto is still shirtless and Gaara is looking slightly homicidal.

And so, let the over-reaction begin.

"AHH! Gaara is raping my poor Naru-chan!"

Iruka-sensei panicked, running the rest of the way into the basement and pulling the red head off of the blond. He tapped Gaara lightly on the nose and then scolded / ranted at him on the values of waiting until his partner was ready for sex. The tap on the nose was odd enough, but the lecture was down-right scary.

"...So you see, Gaara-kun, sex isn't about power or anything like that. It's about commitment and love that you share with the person you're having sex with. It shouldn't even be called sex! "Making Love" is a much better title for the act of two people becoming one. And you can't just force Naru-chan into it. He has to be ready, and willing to share that part of himself with you. I'm going to have to ask you to wait..."

Let's just say that Gaara has never been quite so mortified in his life.

===

Because the author has decided that Gaara has been tortured enough for a while, we're going to move on to a quick segment about Sasuke and Neji. The two boys were currently at Neji's hose, doing their very best to avoid the entirety of the rest of the Hyuuga family. And they were actually doing a fairly good job, which is surprising, given the size of said family.

"Ne, Sasuke," Neji said in a would-be bored voice. "Do you want to play video games... or something that teenagers do? You know, normal guys... spending time together?"

Obviously, Neji was trying way too hard.

Sasuke looked around, noting the collection of video games his friend had. A much more expansive spread that Naruto's Pong, Frogger and PacMan. Neji had Donkey Kong and Duck Hunt, in addition to the games listed above.

"Do you have any diet-coke?" The boy finally muttered, turning his gaze back to Neji.

Neji jumped; clearly he had not been expecting an actual verbal response. "Eto... HAI!" And he ran off to get Sasuke's diet-coke.

Sasuke settled himself down in front of the game-consol, plugged in Frogger, and proceeded to get his frog across the street before it fell into the acid-water and died. He cursed, and then used up his two remaining frogs in the same way.

"Damn." He muttered, impatiently waiting for the game to reset.

And this is what Neji saw when he returned, holding a diet-Pepsi in one hand, and a bag of jumbo marshmallows in the other.

The two boys stared at each other for a moment before Neji sat down and handed over the soda. Sasuke, apparently choosing not to comment that he had asked for coke and not Pepsi, gulped half of it down. He then blinked - which was immediately translated to: "wow, Pepsi really is better than coke!"

And this is when the bag of jumbo-marshmallows comes into play.

"Um... want to play Chubby-Bunny?" Neji asked, turning his head to one side, his pearly gaze fixed on the wall.

In response, and probably just an attempt to see if he could break his old record of nine marshmallows, Sasuke grabbed the bag and proceeded to shove ten marshmallows into his mouth. Cheeks bulging, he managed one "Muuba-Huua" before starting to choke.

And Neji, because he is already unashamedly out of character, panicked and started to shake his friend in an ill-conceived attempt to help. What he received for his efforts was a face full of gooey marshmallow and a Sasuke with an odd expression on his face. Scratch that - a Sasuke that was only half conscious with a very, very odd look on his face.

"Ai shiteru... Neji! Zutto!!!!" Sasuke shouted in very bad, fan-girlish Japanese before proceeding to pass out. He moaned out one work that could have been: "Neji" before actually succumbing to the darkness of his own mind.

And this is why Neji now loves the game Chubby-Bunny.

AN Yes – torturing Gaara is fun. But... torturing Neji is a lot more fun. Oh and the "hey look... a wall" thing, is a joke between Duffy and myself that I don't feel like explaining. Just note that it's ours, so don't use it. [very possessive]

Review plea: if I get a hundred reviews before the next update – I'll post a special Iruka/Kakashi chapter.