Disclaimer: don't make me cry.
Kuroi-chan's disclaimer: The nickname 'Sagi-chan is copyrighted to Kuroi. Any other who uses it will be mocked, laughed at, and will ultimately suffer at the hands of her vengeful and depressing wrath. That, and she'll nag me into yelling at you.
Saaski-chan's disclaimer: The nickname Leeni-chan is copyrighted to Saaski. Use it and die.
AN: Welcome all to chapter nine of The Cricket Club. This time you managed to catch me as I'm falling asleep in front of my monitor. starts to doze off jerks awake Ahem, anyway. Let me just cut to the gist... I have a few things I want to clear up about this fic. I rated this fic PG-13 for personal paranoia reasons. Don't forget that I've censored all "bad words" which was really just for a humorous effect, but it serves both purposes and leaves much to the imagination. That being said, there won't be any sexy/smutty scenes in this fic. Sorry all. And... to those I offended with the freshmen comments last chapter... don't worry. I'm a freshman too. Because I'm a college freshman, updates might slow, I'm not sure yet. That's it, enjoy the update.
Chapter 9
Okay so by chapter nine, there needs to be a brief recount of the story thus far. This brief detour from the actual story line may or may not include any of the following: flashbacks which are the least likely to appear, recaps being the most likely to occur, and jokes that you can only understand if you have understood every joke in the eight chapters prior.
So, let's get it over with.
Now, in the first few chapters we established quite a few things. Most importantly being characters and their relationships to each other. This set the setting for numerous jokes. These relationships aren't just the romantic kind, of course, but also friendships, stalkers, enemies and annoyances. Later, we found that Gaara harbors some not so secret feelings for Naruto, who is stupid and doesn't notice. We also learned that Sasuke prefers Neji to Sakura, Itachi is an insane cross-dresser, Kakashi likes Iruka-sensei, and that pigeons are quite evil. This all goes without saying you need to have a fan club of crickets to have an interesting life. Not to mention, that the author doesn't have a very interesting life, because she doesn't have a fan club of crickets either.
And, in addition to all of that, you might or might not have noticed that at the end of the last chapter... a plot was born!
How about a flashback?
##Neji stood outside the head counselors office door, his hand poised to knock...##
No, a little after that.
##A trickle of blood exited Neji's nose.##
Believe it or not, Neji isn't really a part of the newly developed plot. Let's try the dreaded flashback again...
##Rumors began to circulate about Iruka-sensei and Kakashi.##
Ah, there we go.
Now, from the above sentence the reader(s) should come to the conclusion that the newly developed plot line will include Kakashi and Iruka-sensei's supposed kinky relationship. Of course, to understand why their relationship is suddenly "kinky" the author will have to reveal to you the moment that the reasons for Neji's blood transfusions is revealed to the wrong person.
That means getting back to the story and away from the author's stupid ramblings. Yay!
Neji lay back in his hospital provided bed, occasionally twitching as a certain yaoi scene flashed before his pearly eyes. Beside his bed sat his cousin Hinata, who had brought him his homework. She had also scolded him, but given Hinata's completely unthreatening nature, the lecture had absolutely no effect what-so-ever. Said lecture didn't even bother with the "in one ear and out the other" by simply bypassing the bed-ridden boy to fly out the window.
The pale eyed girl was now doing her best not to hover over her cousin too obviously. He was pale enough as it was, he couldn't afford to lose any more blood.
Obviously, Neji is going to lose a lot more blood before this hospital visit is over.
The hospital door slid open, attracting the attention of both Hyuuga's. And there stood Sasuke, looking completely out of breath, as though he had run from school to the hospital. His hair was ruffled, his clothes in a complete disarray, cheeks pinked slightly. And because of Neji's newly perverted state, his blood once again began flowing.
Hinata ran for the nurse, shouting something about needing more blood.
"Neji..." Sasuke panted, stalking closer to his boyfriend's bed and nearly pouncing on it as though Neji were his prey. Neji, of course, was nursing his nosebleed, so he was unable to comment on Sasuke's out-of-character personality. It probably didn't help that Sasuke was now straddling Neji's hips.
"S-s-sas...uke..."
"You're bleeding." Sasuke commented, not bothering to comment that he was obviously "seme" at the current moment, not "uke" as the real uke seemed to think. He leant down slightly and fixed his gaze upon Neji's nose. "Any particular reason why?"
Those words only caused Neji's blood loosing situation to quicken. In addition to that, his eyes became half lidded and his cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink.
Sasuke twitched slightly in curiosity, and leaned down a bit further, so that his chest was flush against Neji's. Said pupil-less boy started bleeding even faster, if that's even possible by this point, which prompted the self proclaimed "seme of the moment" to frown.
"Oi, Sasuke," a voice at the door commented, in what seemed to be a scolding tone. "You should get off of him, he's being rather perverted at the moment, and you really aren't helping at all."
The two on the bed looked over, and there stood Kakashi, grinning at them through his mask. Neji took that moment to pass out. Hinata and a blood bearing nurse ran into the room a few seconds later.
Hinata squeaked and quickly averted her gaze from Sasuke and Neji to a wall. The nurse oggled.
"Kakashi nii-san," Sasuke wondered, climbing off of his unconscious boyfriend. "How do you know?"
"Ano... he sort of caught me and Iru-chan in the counselors office in the position that you were just in..."
"Iruka-sensei? Uzumaki Naruto's guardian?" Sasuke demanded.
Kakashi nodded proudly.
Blood spurted out of Hinata's nose, which went unnoticed to all except the devoted member of the Bishonen-ai fan club, and the nurse. Kakashi and Iruka-sensei? The pale skinned girl was in bliss. The nurse just left for another bag of blood.
Didn't see that one coming, did you?
The author is thinking that this is a good moment to reveal Sasuke's current living situation. After his entire family mysteriously died and his brother was put into Happy Homes, he was adopted read: abducted by Kakashi on a night when said man was seriously drunk. So, Sasuke lives with Kakashi. Meaning, if Kakashi and Iruka were to actually announce their relationship to the public, Sasuke and Naruto... well... they'd probably be something akin to brothers... or something.
But, seeing as Iruka-sensei loves living in the proverbial closet, that relationship won't take place for a while, so Sasuke and Naruto are safe.
And speaking of Naruto... let's see what he's up to, shall we? Read: the author is getting bored with details and wants to get on with the story.
"But... Gaara!" Our happy, cricket wielding, blond hero wailed, clutching onto his red haired, stalked-by-a-raccoon, slightly homicidal best friend's arm. "They just moved in and I really want to meet them!"
"No." Gaara said firmly and doing his best not to show his pleasure that Naruto was clinging to him. "Anybody who raises deer for a living can't be a good person. I won't allow you to associate with people like that."
"But I heard-"
"No."
"But they-"
"NO!"
Chirp. Chirrrrrrrp.
"Gaara! You're a meanie!"
Gaara froze, those last words washing over his stunned self like arctic cold water. And Gaara doesn't like the cold, so those words really didn't feel nice. The red head chanced a glance over at his blond haired, not-so-secret crush, taking in the over dramatic "anime river of tears" said blond was sporting, before heaving a large anime "mushroom sigh".
"Fine... we'll go give the Nara's some cookies..."
"WAI! Gaara! You're the best!" And with those words, Naruto glomped onto Gaara, little sparkles dancing around his head.
Needless to say, Gaara melted into a happy little puddle of goo. He only reverted back into a solid state when the remembrance of the fact that he and Naruto were going to do something completely out of character bounced back into the portion of Gaara-goo that was equivalent to his head.
And so, the two protagonists of this story went on their way to visit Naruto's new next door neighbors, the Nara's. Little did they know that the author was plotting a serious plot twist and the introduction of a new main character!
MWAHAHA!
Chirp. Chirrrrrrp.
Naruto pranced happily down the sidewalk and up the walk to the house next to his, Gaara trailing behind him and oggling his erm, hind quarters. The blond, who was holding onto a plate of cookies chocolate chip, if anybody cares, laughed happilly and then promptly tripped over the two legs that he hadn't seen in his path.
"Naruto-chan!" Gaara shouted, or, would have shouted if he were currently out of character. Sadly, Gaara is currently in character, so what he really said was
"Oi! You should be more careful about where you leave your legs!" Naruto scolded the person he had just tripped over.
Said person happens to be the new character that the author was talking about.
"Go prance somewhere else," a rather lazy sounding voice drolled. "You're troublesome."
"I'll prance where and when I want to!" Naruto shot back, scrambling to his feet and glaring down at the lazy one on the ground. The blond then noticed that he had dropped his plate of cookies in the dirt and began wailing. "Wah! Iruka-sensei had just made those cookies too! They were for the Nara's! You're mean!"
The boy sweatdropped, his eyes also landing on the cookies in the dirt.
"My name is Nara Shikamaru." He said, slowly getting to his feet and casting his eyes to the ground. "I also have the worst luck in the world."
Gaara said as his own introduction and warning as to not get too close to Naruto. He added, stating that Naruto was his and he would kill anybody who stated otherwise.
"What did he say?" Shikamaru asked, casing a lazy eye towards Naruto.
"Ehehe..." Said blond rubbed the back of his next in a nervous manner. "He said that his name is Gaara."
"And you are?"
"Uzumaki Naruto! Nice to meet you! Let's be friends, you'll fit in with me and Gaara cause nobody likes us. Well, nobody likes me, and they're all scared of Gaara. I have a fan club of crickets, and Gaara..."
"Is being stalked by a raccoon that nobody can see?"
"Yeah... hey, how did you know that?"
Shikamaru pointed to where Shukaku and the crickets were munching happilly on the cookies that had fallen in the dirt.
Gaara muttered, kicking Shukaku away from the cookies. Really, he just wanted to kick the raccoon because he had just fallen into a homicidial rage that Naruto had a new friend. Wasn't he enough for Naruto anymore? sobsob
"Ne, Shikamaru," Naruto suddenly said, clapping his fist into his open palm, signifying that he had just realized something. "You said you have the worst luck in the world... why?"
"Because my mother cursed me with bad luck right before she was institutionalized."
"Ano... what were you doing just now?"
"Watching clouds."
Naruto and Gaara both looked up at the cloudless sky, before glancing back at Shikamaru with skeptical expressions on their faces. Sheesh, one can't watch clouds on a cloudless day - how stupid was this kid?
Chirp. Chirrrrrp.
"Anyway," Shikamaru said, turning back to Naruto. "I'm bisexual, and you're cute. Wanna go out sometime?"
He obviously missed Gaara's very pointed warnings of "Naruto is mine so you better keep away if you know what's good for you".
"I always had a thing for red heads," Shikamaru continued, now glancing over at Gaara with a contemplating look in his eye.
"I prefer blonds." Gaara retorted, slinging a possessive arm around Naruto's shoulders.
Shikamaru, whose hair was as black as they come, sighed and nodded.
And the crickets would be chirping right now, if they weren't chowing down a bunch of cookies. Shukaku, however, took the moment to try and bite the new characters ankles. Shikamaru kicked the raccoon away, and for some reason, the three boys became the best of friends.
AN: my friend told me I should add Shikamaru to this fic, so there he is, a new main character. We also decided he should have the worst luck in the world - plus be stalked by Ino. So, that will be in the next chapter, along with a little more "plot developmen," and maybe a little more Sasuke torture as well.
REVIEW DAMNIT!
Kuroi-chan's disclaimer: The nickname 'Sagi-chan is copyrighted to Kuroi. Any other who uses it will be mocked, laughed at, and will ultimately suffer at the hands of her vengeful and depressing wrath. That, and she'll nag me into yelling at you.
Saaski-chan's disclaimer: The nickname Leeni-chan is copyrighted to Saaski. Use it and die.
AN: Welcome all to chapter nine of The Cricket Club. This time you managed to catch me as I'm falling asleep in front of my monitor. starts to doze off jerks awake Ahem, anyway. Let me just cut to the gist... I have a few things I want to clear up about this fic. I rated this fic PG-13 for personal paranoia reasons. Don't forget that I've censored all "bad words" which was really just for a humorous effect, but it serves both purposes and leaves much to the imagination. That being said, there won't be any sexy/smutty scenes in this fic. Sorry all. And... to those I offended with the freshmen comments last chapter... don't worry. I'm a freshman too. Because I'm a college freshman, updates might slow, I'm not sure yet. That's it, enjoy the update.
Chapter 9
Okay so by chapter nine, there needs to be a brief recount of the story thus far. This brief detour from the actual story line may or may not include any of the following: flashbacks which are the least likely to appear, recaps being the most likely to occur, and jokes that you can only understand if you have understood every joke in the eight chapters prior.
So, let's get it over with.
Now, in the first few chapters we established quite a few things. Most importantly being characters and their relationships to each other. This set the setting for numerous jokes. These relationships aren't just the romantic kind, of course, but also friendships, stalkers, enemies and annoyances. Later, we found that Gaara harbors some not so secret feelings for Naruto, who is stupid and doesn't notice. We also learned that Sasuke prefers Neji to Sakura, Itachi is an insane cross-dresser, Kakashi likes Iruka-sensei, and that pigeons are quite evil. This all goes without saying you need to have a fan club of crickets to have an interesting life. Not to mention, that the author doesn't have a very interesting life, because she doesn't have a fan club of crickets either.
And, in addition to all of that, you might or might not have noticed that at the end of the last chapter... a plot was born!
How about a flashback?
##Neji stood outside the head counselors office door, his hand poised to knock...##
No, a little after that.
##A trickle of blood exited Neji's nose.##
Believe it or not, Neji isn't really a part of the newly developed plot. Let's try the dreaded flashback again...
##Rumors began to circulate about Iruka-sensei and Kakashi.##
Ah, there we go.
Now, from the above sentence the reader(s) should come to the conclusion that the newly developed plot line will include Kakashi and Iruka-sensei's supposed kinky relationship. Of course, to understand why their relationship is suddenly "kinky" the author will have to reveal to you the moment that the reasons for Neji's blood transfusions is revealed to the wrong person.
That means getting back to the story and away from the author's stupid ramblings. Yay!
Neji lay back in his hospital provided bed, occasionally twitching as a certain yaoi scene flashed before his pearly eyes. Beside his bed sat his cousin Hinata, who had brought him his homework. She had also scolded him, but given Hinata's completely unthreatening nature, the lecture had absolutely no effect what-so-ever. Said lecture didn't even bother with the "in one ear and out the other" by simply bypassing the bed-ridden boy to fly out the window.
The pale eyed girl was now doing her best not to hover over her cousin too obviously. He was pale enough as it was, he couldn't afford to lose any more blood.
Obviously, Neji is going to lose a lot more blood before this hospital visit is over.
The hospital door slid open, attracting the attention of both Hyuuga's. And there stood Sasuke, looking completely out of breath, as though he had run from school to the hospital. His hair was ruffled, his clothes in a complete disarray, cheeks pinked slightly. And because of Neji's newly perverted state, his blood once again began flowing.
Hinata ran for the nurse, shouting something about needing more blood.
"Neji..." Sasuke panted, stalking closer to his boyfriend's bed and nearly pouncing on it as though Neji were his prey. Neji, of course, was nursing his nosebleed, so he was unable to comment on Sasuke's out-of-character personality. It probably didn't help that Sasuke was now straddling Neji's hips.
"S-s-sas...uke..."
"You're bleeding." Sasuke commented, not bothering to comment that he was obviously "seme" at the current moment, not "uke" as the real uke seemed to think. He leant down slightly and fixed his gaze upon Neji's nose. "Any particular reason why?"
Those words only caused Neji's blood loosing situation to quicken. In addition to that, his eyes became half lidded and his cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink.
Sasuke twitched slightly in curiosity, and leaned down a bit further, so that his chest was flush against Neji's. Said pupil-less boy started bleeding even faster, if that's even possible by this point, which prompted the self proclaimed "seme of the moment" to frown.
"Oi, Sasuke," a voice at the door commented, in what seemed to be a scolding tone. "You should get off of him, he's being rather perverted at the moment, and you really aren't helping at all."
The two on the bed looked over, and there stood Kakashi, grinning at them through his mask. Neji took that moment to pass out. Hinata and a blood bearing nurse ran into the room a few seconds later.
Hinata squeaked and quickly averted her gaze from Sasuke and Neji to a wall. The nurse oggled.
"Kakashi nii-san," Sasuke wondered, climbing off of his unconscious boyfriend. "How do you know?"
"Ano... he sort of caught me and Iru-chan in the counselors office in the position that you were just in..."
"Iruka-sensei? Uzumaki Naruto's guardian?" Sasuke demanded.
Kakashi nodded proudly.
Blood spurted out of Hinata's nose, which went unnoticed to all except the devoted member of the Bishonen-ai fan club, and the nurse. Kakashi and Iruka-sensei? The pale skinned girl was in bliss. The nurse just left for another bag of blood.
Didn't see that one coming, did you?
The author is thinking that this is a good moment to reveal Sasuke's current living situation. After his entire family mysteriously died and his brother was put into Happy Homes, he was adopted read: abducted by Kakashi on a night when said man was seriously drunk. So, Sasuke lives with Kakashi. Meaning, if Kakashi and Iruka were to actually announce their relationship to the public, Sasuke and Naruto... well... they'd probably be something akin to brothers... or something.
But, seeing as Iruka-sensei loves living in the proverbial closet, that relationship won't take place for a while, so Sasuke and Naruto are safe.
And speaking of Naruto... let's see what he's up to, shall we? Read: the author is getting bored with details and wants to get on with the story.
"But... Gaara!" Our happy, cricket wielding, blond hero wailed, clutching onto his red haired, stalked-by-a-raccoon, slightly homicidal best friend's arm. "They just moved in and I really want to meet them!"
"No." Gaara said firmly and doing his best not to show his pleasure that Naruto was clinging to him. "Anybody who raises deer for a living can't be a good person. I won't allow you to associate with people like that."
"But I heard-"
"No."
"But they-"
"NO!"
Chirp. Chirrrrrrrp.
"Gaara! You're a meanie!"
Gaara froze, those last words washing over his stunned self like arctic cold water. And Gaara doesn't like the cold, so those words really didn't feel nice. The red head chanced a glance over at his blond haired, not-so-secret crush, taking in the over dramatic "anime river of tears" said blond was sporting, before heaving a large anime "mushroom sigh".
"Fine... we'll go give the Nara's some cookies..."
"WAI! Gaara! You're the best!" And with those words, Naruto glomped onto Gaara, little sparkles dancing around his head.
Needless to say, Gaara melted into a happy little puddle of goo. He only reverted back into a solid state when the remembrance of the fact that he and Naruto were going to do something completely out of character bounced back into the portion of Gaara-goo that was equivalent to his head.
And so, the two protagonists of this story went on their way to visit Naruto's new next door neighbors, the Nara's. Little did they know that the author was plotting a serious plot twist and the introduction of a new main character!
MWAHAHA!
Chirp. Chirrrrrrp.
Naruto pranced happily down the sidewalk and up the walk to the house next to his, Gaara trailing behind him and oggling his erm, hind quarters. The blond, who was holding onto a plate of cookies chocolate chip, if anybody cares, laughed happilly and then promptly tripped over the two legs that he hadn't seen in his path.
"Naruto-chan!" Gaara shouted, or, would have shouted if he were currently out of character. Sadly, Gaara is currently in character, so what he really said was
"Oi! You should be more careful about where you leave your legs!" Naruto scolded the person he had just tripped over.
Said person happens to be the new character that the author was talking about.
"Go prance somewhere else," a rather lazy sounding voice drolled. "You're troublesome."
"I'll prance where and when I want to!" Naruto shot back, scrambling to his feet and glaring down at the lazy one on the ground. The blond then noticed that he had dropped his plate of cookies in the dirt and began wailing. "Wah! Iruka-sensei had just made those cookies too! They were for the Nara's! You're mean!"
The boy sweatdropped, his eyes also landing on the cookies in the dirt.
"My name is Nara Shikamaru." He said, slowly getting to his feet and casting his eyes to the ground. "I also have the worst luck in the world."
Gaara said as his own introduction and warning as to not get too close to Naruto. He added, stating that Naruto was his and he would kill anybody who stated otherwise.
"What did he say?" Shikamaru asked, casing a lazy eye towards Naruto.
"Ehehe..." Said blond rubbed the back of his next in a nervous manner. "He said that his name is Gaara."
"And you are?"
"Uzumaki Naruto! Nice to meet you! Let's be friends, you'll fit in with me and Gaara cause nobody likes us. Well, nobody likes me, and they're all scared of Gaara. I have a fan club of crickets, and Gaara..."
"Is being stalked by a raccoon that nobody can see?"
"Yeah... hey, how did you know that?"
Shikamaru pointed to where Shukaku and the crickets were munching happilly on the cookies that had fallen in the dirt.
Gaara muttered, kicking Shukaku away from the cookies. Really, he just wanted to kick the raccoon because he had just fallen into a homicidial rage that Naruto had a new friend. Wasn't he enough for Naruto anymore? sobsob
"Ne, Shikamaru," Naruto suddenly said, clapping his fist into his open palm, signifying that he had just realized something. "You said you have the worst luck in the world... why?"
"Because my mother cursed me with bad luck right before she was institutionalized."
"Ano... what were you doing just now?"
"Watching clouds."
Naruto and Gaara both looked up at the cloudless sky, before glancing back at Shikamaru with skeptical expressions on their faces. Sheesh, one can't watch clouds on a cloudless day - how stupid was this kid?
Chirp. Chirrrrrp.
"Anyway," Shikamaru said, turning back to Naruto. "I'm bisexual, and you're cute. Wanna go out sometime?"
He obviously missed Gaara's very pointed warnings of "Naruto is mine so you better keep away if you know what's good for you".
"I always had a thing for red heads," Shikamaru continued, now glancing over at Gaara with a contemplating look in his eye.
"I prefer blonds." Gaara retorted, slinging a possessive arm around Naruto's shoulders.
Shikamaru, whose hair was as black as they come, sighed and nodded.
And the crickets would be chirping right now, if they weren't chowing down a bunch of cookies. Shukaku, however, took the moment to try and bite the new characters ankles. Shikamaru kicked the raccoon away, and for some reason, the three boys became the best of friends.
AN: my friend told me I should add Shikamaru to this fic, so there he is, a new main character. We also decided he should have the worst luck in the world - plus be stalked by Ino. So, that will be in the next chapter, along with a little more "plot developmen," and maybe a little more Sasuke torture as well.
REVIEW DAMNIT!