Chapter 10

Emma's POV:

I'm glad Sean and I promised each other no fighting about anything this weekend. Sometimes all Sean and I do is fight. But that's what we do, we fight. It ignites our passion for one another. Our entire relationship consists of fight and makeup. But the make ups are always amazing. Sean and I are both stubborn people who tend to blame ourselves for things that aren't our fault. We're so different and so much alike at the same time. That's what makes us so great together. I only wish Sean and I had another chance as a couple. Eventually I'll have to move on. But ever since the first day of seventh grade, I have never loved anyone but Sean Hope Cameron. And I have a feeling that I will never completely be over him. I never got over him…not in seventh grade, not in ninth grade…not after the shooting…not now. But Sean and I can never be an "us" again. It always ends extremely badly. There's just no way it could work. The first time we were an "us" it ended horribly and we were both heartbroken…I don't even know what I was thinking when I broke up with him the first time. I mean yeah, he pushed me but I was never scared of him. I was never scared he was going to hurt me. After what he told me happened with Tyler, I just didn't know if Sean would ever be able to change. But he more than proved himself. Sean always felt like he wasn't good enough for me. And I never got that. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for him. In Sean's mind he's not good enough because he doesn't have a lot of money or have good grades, or proper manners, or a good family life, and his parents and Tracker didn't have the greatest jobs, and the fact that his parents were alcoholics. But what Sean never realized is that I've always loved him and I never thought anything bad about him because of his flaws. I loved him more for them. But Sean is always so hard on himself. I see the good in Sean that he never sees in himself. Like how he would never push sex or violence against a woman. And how he tries to improve his grades by letting me help him study and by not skipping class anymore. How he would never let anything happen to anyone that he cares about. I mean come on he jumped in front of a frickin bullet for me. He cares about his family even though he doesn't show it. Sean Cameron is a hero…he'll always be MY hero. And I love him. But Sean will never realize all of these wonderful things about him that I love. God do I love him. (Emma's cell phone rings) I look up at Sean who looks over and seems surprised that it's been quiet for the past few minutes and answer my phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Em, it's me."

"Oh, hey El what's up?"
"Nothing much just hanging out with Craig watching some cheesy scary movie marathon on TV. What are you and Sean up to? You there yet?"

"Nope, we're still in the car. We should be there soon though."

I look up at Sean and smile at him. He grabs my hand and holds it while trying to drive with the other. Sean can be so sweet at times. When no one is looking Sean acts like he's my boyfriend again. Just by the little things that he does.

"Oh ok. Well it's good to know you guys aren't pulled over making out somewhere."

I rolled my eyes.

"Ha ha. Very funny Ellie. But actually I was thinking of driving up to Alberta and making out with Tracker some and then maybe I'll score with Mr. Cameron and then maybe I can fit Sean into my busy schedule of shoving my tongue down Cameron boys' throats."

Sean looks at me extremely confused and says, "Em, please don't talk about your tongue and my dad in the same sentence ever again!"

I giggled and told him I'd explain it later as Ellie's voice once again flooded my ears.

"That's not what I meant Em. I just meant that you guys are so perfect for each other and you're completely oblivious to it!"

"Whatever Ellie."

"Look Emma you can't honestly tell me that you don't love Sean in any romantic way at all anymore."

Damn it! I sigh. I know I can't lie to Ellie.

"Look El…you're not completely wrong about that. Sometimes I do feel like that. But it doesn't change anything."

"Yes it does! If you still love him then you have to tell him Emma! You just have to! It's not fair to you or to Sean. Your whole life you'll wonder what could have been if you would have just told him. And Sean will probably always wonder what could have been too. But you'll both never find out if you don't try!"

I sigh again. Maybe Ellie's right. Maybe I should tell him.

"Ok. Ellie I'll think about it. But I need some time to think…without you listening into my thoughts. So I'll call you later, ok?"

"Alright then."

"You and Craig have fun with the cheesy scary movie marathon."

"We always do!"

"Bye Ellie."

"Later."

I sigh yet again as I hang up my phone. The thoughts in my head are flying a million miles a minute. My heart feels like it's going to burst out of my chest and fly out the car window. I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe there still is a chance with me and Sean. Maybe there will always be a chance with me and Sean…or maybe you only get one chance at fate…maybe this is my one chance at fate. There's only one way to find out. I guess I do have to tell Sean. But it will change everything. I'll think about it for a while and make my decision on whether to tell him or not tonight. I take a deep breath. Tonight.

Ellie's POV (This is where Ellie is at Craig's house. They're on the couch in the garage cuddled up together watching a scary movie marathon on TV. Ellie just hung up the phone after talking with Emma):

"So did she buy it babe?"

"Yeah Craig, she bought it. I can't believe it."

"Yeah well at least your Emma mission was easy; Emma can't lie to her best friends that know her so well. But Sean can lie about anything, to anyone. But hey at least one of them will tell the other that they love them."

"Yep, your brilliant master plan worked Manning. I'm surprised!"

"Are you now Nash?"

"Well part of me isn't I guess. You have to have one brilliant idea in one lifetime Craig. I guess you finally got yours!"

"HEY!"

I laugh as Craig throws a pillow at me. I really do love Craig. I can't believe I wasted all that time with Sean. I'm glad Craig and I finally got together though. Now instead of it being all about Craig and Ashley, for once it's about Craig and Ellie…Crellie. Hehe, that's funny. I can't believe I just thought that. It's like some lame name they give to couples off of TV shows. Weird.

"Hey El, do you want some more popcorn?"

"Sure. Um do you want me to call up Jay and Alex and tell them that the plan is finally starting to work while you make some?"

"Yeah, besides you probably don't want to go into the living room anyways. Joey's on a date with some 23 year old hottie that he has no idea what to do with. God knows they could be groping each other right now. (Craig makes a funny face) I don't even want to think about when me and Marco caught him buying condoms at the drug store! ICK! Besides isn't he supposed to be the one telling me sex is bad and making sure I have condoms? I mean jeez he asked me for five months after I got Manny pregnant if I had condoms when I went out to a party or something."

I laughed and said, "God Craig! You are such a drama queen…king…drama king."

"That's right and don't you forget it Nash!"

I throw a pillow at him and say, "Shut up about condoms and go get me some popcorn Manning!"

He throws the pillow back as he heads out the garage door. I pick up the phone and start to dial Jay's cell number. He should be picking Alex up from work right about now…

Back to Emma's POV:

We just pulled up to Sean's house. His mom is sitting on the porch in a lawn chair reading a book. She jumps up and hugs us both as soon as we get out of the car.

"Emma, I'm so glad you could come with Sean this time! We missed you!"

I laugh and briefly look at Sean and the smile on his face before saying, "I missed you too Mrs. C."

"Seany Tyler called just a little bit ago and said he'd be by to see you and Em at around 8."

Sean looked at me and laughed and then looked back at his mom.

"Ok mom, we'll make sure we're ready to see him."

All of a sudden Tracker comes out of Sean's house. Sean is so surprised he actually said, "What the fuck? Track what are you doing here!"

I laugh as Sean's mom tells him not to use bad language. Sean and Tracker hug. I haven't seen Tracker in so long. I run up to him and hug him.

"Tracker! I haven't seen you in so long! Welcome back!"

"Thanks Em, I missed you too!"

"So Sean, Emma since Tracker came for the weekend so unexpectedly he's going to be taking the couch. Which means you two will both have to sleep in Sean's room."

Oh shit!

Sean and I look at each other and smile. We both said ok and went to put our stuff in Sean's room. Well this definitely makes it harder for me to tell Sean how I really feel. I'll be sure to put this on my con list in my mental list of pros and cons. This is going to be a long fucking night!