Disclaimer: well, it's hidden around here somewhere... I'm sure you'll find it eventually.
Kuroi-chan's Disclaimer: The nickname Sagi-chan is copyrighted to Kuroi. Any other who uses it will be mocked, laughed at, and will ultimately suffer at the hands of her vengeful and depressing wrath. That and she'll nag me into yelling at you.
Saaski-chan's Disclaimer: The nickname Leeni-chan is copyrighted to Saaski. Use it and die.



AN: So, this time instead of rambling at you with nothing really to say, I think that I'll clear up some things about me and this story. First off, I am only one person. Sagi-chan and Leeni-chan are both my nicknames – the disclaimers are just there cause I'd be killed if they weren't. Secondly, I'm sure you all have noticed that this fic is rated PG-13. Well, that's because there will be no sex and/or lemon and/or lime scenes at any time during this fic. On that note I'd like to add that begging for one will not get you one (I can't write those worth shit). However, if you wish to write one, you must first ask and then send it to me. (Doubts it will happen.) And on a final note... er... The official title of this chapter is "Chapter 11: The "It has nothing to do with Halloween" Special". But... it's also two days late so the title doesn't really apply. Enjoy the chapter!






Chapter 11


So, the story about Sasuke's insane brother soon faded into the background of the authors mind. And Iruka-sensei's personal life once again became the talk of Konoha High, meaning that the plot was again back on schedule. However, this time it's different because the author will talk about the plot, rather than mentioning it and then dropping the subject like a dead badger.

Naturally, Iruka-sensei wasn't aware of the rumors. But he was a bit occupied trying to keep his relationship with Kakashi alive and trying to keep a certain vengeful flock of pigeons away from his car. Oh, and he did his job as head counselor too - but that's irrelevant to the story at hand.

This is going to mean that Naruto was bearing the weight of all the rumors.

It's kind of pathetic to say that he's probably at the peak of his popularity.

Gaara and Shikamaru, on the other hand, weren't especially pleased that people were harassing their Naru-chan. And Gaara was extremely displeased that Shikamaru was claiming Naruto was his, when Naruto was so obviously Gaara's.

Chirp. Chirrrrp.

"Did you hear?" Kids would shout to each other as Naruto passed them in the hallways at school. "Uzumaki's guardian - Iruka-sensei - is gay!"

"Yeah! I heard that too! And I can tell it is soooo true!"

Naruto, being completely oblivious, didn't notice these shouts however, and continued on his way to class. In class, it was only slightly less obvious that people were spreading rumors about him and his beloved guardian.

Of course, Naruto spent every class period sitting between Gaara and Shikamaru - squirming under the intense glares that each sent the other. So, he didn't notice his popularity increase during classes either.

"Naruto, you really are stupid, aren't you?" Shikamaru asked one day at lunch.

"Of course." Naruto grinned while shoving that day's lunch special "Ramen Surprise" down his throat. "That's what makes me so lovable. Ne, Gaara?"

Gaara choked on his own Ramen Surprise before nodding with a faint blush.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Gaara's crush on Naruto would only be more obvious if he stalked him with an old tri-pod camera. Speaking of... a suspicious clicking noise could be heard from three tables over. Shikamaru turned, just in time to see an old tri-pod camera be whisked away by a blond girl who was screaming about gingerbread men. The lazy boy sighed, once again cursing his bad luck.

On the other side of the cafeteria, Neji was exercising amazing control as he and Sasuke discussed what he had missed during that day's gym class. Amazing control, because the boy's gym uniform consisted of super short-shorts, and rather skimpy tops. And when Sasuke had dunked that basketball, Neji could see right up his shorts.

The fact that Sasuke chose to go commando... well, Neji was in bliss (and the infirmary) for quite a while after class.

That was why the two were discussing what Neji had missed. Apparently, Sasuke had dunked the ball four more times while Neji had been gone. And the janitor wasn't very happy that he now had to clean up a blood trail leading from the gym to the nurse's office.

"He was apparently muttering about perverted teenagers," Sasuke told his boyfriend with a smirk, remembering how annoyed the janitor had been. "There's apparently been a lot of that going around."

"Shouldn't you have a concussion?" Neji suddenly wondered, remembering how Sasuke was beating his head against an old bus window in the previous chapter.

"Erm... yeah." Sasuke suddenly remembered, reaching up with one hand to cradle his damaged hair. "I forgot. Owww... this loud room is making my head hurt..."

The author coughed and decided to move on with the story.

"Sasuke!" A voice called over the din of the cafeteria. "Have you heard the latest plot device?"

Sasuke blinked and turned towards the voice. Haruno Sakura plopped down next to her ex-boyfriend and snuggled up close. "They're saying that Iruka-sensei is gay! And that Naruto is gay! And that Shikamaru is gay-"

"I'm bi!" Shikamaru shouted from the other end of the cafeteria.

Sakura ignored him and continued on with spilling the latest plot devices. "-And that you are-"

"Get off of him!" Neji shouted, lunging over the table and forcibly removing the pink haired parasite from Sasuke's arm.

Sakura stared at him with wide-eyed surprise from her new vantage spot on the floor.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and continued eating his lunch. This eye roll, which the author has decided to translate for the reader(s), translates to a panicked "why? WHY?!?!".

Neji, feeling suddenly stupid that he had lunged across a lunchroom table to defend his boyfriend from a minimal threat, slowly slinked back into his own seat and resumed eating his brown-bag lunch with relative calm.

Silence resumed, while Sakura tried to decide what to do with herself. Naturally, sinking into the floor, while a nice option to think about, wasn't going to work. So, she chose the next best thing.

"Hey look! Five dollars! That's awesome considering we live in Japan!!" Sakura, having now reclaimed her dignity stood up, brushed herself off, and walked out of the cafeteria in order to cry in the girl's bathroom.

Silence resumed for the second time at the Uchiha-Hyuuga table.

This silence, however, was broken - causing both boys to jump and cower - when Gaara began screaming at a random freshman searching for a place to sit at the wrong table.

"(Censored)!" The red heads voice echoed in the suddenly quiet lunch room. "Don't make me sing the Doom Song!"

Chirp. Chirrrrp.

The freshman ran to eat lunch in the bathroom.

"Ne, Gaara," Naruto's voice rang through the mostly empty lunch-room. Empty because most of the students had fled at Gaara's first censored shout. "Would you really sing the Doom Song if provoked enough?"

One of Gaara's eyebrows twitched.

The remaining portion of the student body only managed to knock down one wall in their desperate attempt to find an exit.

Shikamaru perked right about then. "I'd like to hear more about this Invader Zim reference." He announced.

Chirp. Chirrrrrrrp.

Gaara glared, causing even the fearless lunch ladies to take cover behind their industrial sized kitchen appliances.

Fortunately, before the red head could begin committing homicide, the bell rang and the three boys were whisked back to their classes by the author.

Guess what class this is. Life Experiences!

"Today," Jiraiya-sensei announced the moment that everybody had taken their seats. "We will meet in groups to discuss... alternate lifestyles!"

As though they had practiced the action, the entire class turned to look directly at Naruto. Naruto, however, was staring at Sasuke - who was peering worriedly at a pale and becoming paler Neji.

"Sensei, Neji's bleeding again..." the blond idiot said, turning back to Jiraiya-sensei, five cricket filled minutes later. However, turning away from laughing at Sasuke and Neji brought to his attention what the crickets couldn't.

He was being stared at.

"Gaara! SAVE ME!" The blond cried out. "Their eyes! It burns!"

Gaara grinned malevolently as Naruto latched onto his arm. And his sand, which had first appeared when Shukaku took over his body for the second time, rushed out in an attempt to gouge out twenty pairs of staring eyes.

The only ones who were saved were: Shikamaru - who was sleeping. Neji – for he was unconscious due to blood loss. Sasuke – because he was panicking about Neji in a very out of character manner. Naruto – for, well, obvious reasons. And strangely enough, Jiraiya-sensei – because he was busy writing the next volume of Icha Icha Paradise, and thus not paying any attention to his class.

And, if you tuned out the terror filled screams and malicious laughter, it was another fun filled day at Konoha High.








AN: I would like to take this time to ask you to read the authors note above, and if you have any questions feel free to e-mail me. And... I'm thinking that next chapter, Naruto will be "enlightened" about both Gaara, and Ino. It'll be fun!