Story- Hot Chocolate or not Pocky Style

Type- One-Shot.

Inspired by- A box of pocky

Coupling- Roy and Edward hints, PG-13 (some suggestive themes, language)

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"Make it stop!" at the age of thirty... (Roy glares)...er, twenty-eight, Roy Mustang... (Glares again and gets smacked)... was what the ladies wanted.

However most only wanted his body, not his hair. Furthermore, if they did want the hair, they didn't want it gray...

"Damn Father. I swear I got it from his side of the family." Yes, standing in the men's bathroom was Colonel Roy Mustang plucking at a gray hair.

Of course if one were to ask the female authors writing this, they could have told him what happens when a gray hair is plucked.

Roy blinked at his reflection in the mirror as he yanked the silver strand from his scalp.

Satisfied he brushed his hair back making sure that he had fully gotten the culprit. "Shit! Those were not there two seconds ago." A little shock of hair had, erhem, turned the color of their former comrade. The tiled bathroom counter received the abuse of Roy Mustang's fist.

'I hate this.' The mirror reflected the scowling man as he proceeded to leave the lavatory, bruised hand newly added to his list of problems.

"I'm old; no I'm not. I'm old; no I'm not..." Military boots clacked on the wooden floors of Central's hallways. The papers that Riza had given him to sign were now being used as a makeshift flower in a twisted game of 'He loves me, he loves me not'. As Roy walked a trail of paper followed him.

Roy by all means did not love his job, hence the paper abuse. The only thing he liked was power that came with the job and tormenting a certain blonde-

"Hey! Watch where you're going! Bloody hell! You broke my piece of pocky!" Whoever said that blondes had more fun had not met Edward Elric who looked sadly at his broken pocky stick. Of course it hadn't hit Ed yet that he still had an almost full pocky pack on his person in his red coat. Hey, it was morals.

Roy glared at the older Elric brother and continued walking. He was in no mood to play verbal bashing games with him at the moment.

"Hey! Hey! You could at least say you're sorry!" Ed shot his own glare back at the Flame Alchemist's back and finished off the pocky that was fortunate enough not to be broken (Think of the way Shuichi from Gravitation eats his). "Er! What the hell's your problem. It's like you got a stick shoved up your bloody ass." Ed crossed his arms, closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side into a mocking stance. 'It's either that or a tampon.'

Now Roy could handle Ed's subordination most of the time, but of course it was only all the time that Ed did this. Do the math. Statistics show that most don't follow the 'don't get mad-get even' stuff that is spewed over the country. Roy was a statistic or a sadist when it came to the Elric.

Roy turned curtly on the soles of his boots to face Edward. "Maybe if you weren't a midget I would have noticed you." A smirk appeared on Roy's lips.

"Hmph, well at least I don't have grey hairs." Ed responded, turning his head to deliver his own smirk.

Roy Mustang's left eye started to twitch.

"And at least I don't have that twitchy eye thingy. It isn't contagious is it?" Ed finished looking genuinely concerned for his own wellbeing.

Roy went through his checklist of why he couldn't kill the alchemist standing in front of him. 'Oh, that's right. He's a fricking prodigy. Not allowed to touch those aren't I?'(Present company snickers)

All of a sudden: A mysterious cloaked figure, invisible to all but people in front of their computer screens, whacks Roy in the head with her FMA backpack and leaves. Hence the out of character look on Roy's face now. See it? Yes, my pretties fear the control an authoress has!

Roy's lip quivered. His eyes became the size of soup plates. All Ed could do was watch in silent horror as his superior broke down...in front of him...in the hallway...at his job. Great, this was so what Ed needed right now. Please note that sarcasm had made an appearance in Ed's military rations this morning.

"What in the hell are you doing!" The blonde barked at him. "You come at me all 'I'm all Mr. Mustang, look at me!' and shit and than you just break down like your on friggin hormones or something! Mind telling me what's up? Are you pregnant or something?" He adapted a similar position that Winry often used when he, himself was interrogated for his own actions.

A spark seemed to go off in Roy's eyes as he looked up from kneeled position on the floor. His eyes glimmered with his shed, and still trying to make an appearance, tears. Never before had someone actually taken that position with him, the way Ed was standing. Well-shaped chest pumping up and down, trying its hardest to deliver more oxygen to the fuming blonde's lungs, legs shoulder length apart, right hand smashed as if it was joined to his hip, slightly leaning forward with his left hand's index finger pointing at him in that cocky fashion of his. To top it off, the golden eyes were heated in the passion of the blonde's fury, lips parted with the slightest hint of tongue shown.

'Who cares if I'm old? As long as I can still look and touch I'm in tip top condition. But wait? Pregnant?'

"Excuse me, Full Metal. I am not pregnant! I've been stressed lately. I'll be going now." Roy turned on his well polished boots, military coat flaring out and proceeded to walk away with some of his dignity, at least not before threatening his charge with a severe rug burn if anyone found out about his little episode.

'Ah, peace and quiet.' Roy Mustang laid his head down on his folded arms that rested on his desk. 'This is what I need, a nice cat nap.'

After this afternoons escapade Roy was exhausted. It was catching up to him that maybe the higher-ups had been right, as sick as that may be. He was young. His best friend had been right. Roy cringed. His new position came with more paperwork, more civilian duties, and more coffee. In fact, that was the only thing keeping the raven -haired man on his toes.

A muffled groan was could be heard from the vicinity of Roy's arms as he remembered that he could use a fresh cup right about now.

"Surprise!" The Flame Alchemist's head shot up at the overly cheerful voice. 'Gods Full Metal, not right now.' Of course Roy couldn't let Ed see that he was tired.

"Get the fuck out of my office right now." Good, temper was in check as Roy rose to greet the blonde...but, that had been his intent. Instead, a shocked look crossed his face at what ed was holding.

"What the hell do you have there?"

"I'm not in your office…yet." Ed bounced cheerfully into the room uninvited. "I brought some things to relieve your stress. See?" he held up what he was carrying to show that he had come in peace. The blonde held in his right hand a large basket and in his left, Black Hayate. The puppy did not seem to be very happy at the moment.

"You see" he said, "petting animals is supposed to relive stress and blood pressure and all the rest of that crap. So I'm like, a stressed boss makes for a stressed employee and vice versa. Catch what I'm saying?" During Ed's speech he had managed to push his shocked superior back into his plush chair and drop the dog napped puppy into un-wanting arms. "Now you just sit right there while I go make you some hot chocolate: pocky style!"

Roy snapped out of his surprised stupor. "I don't want hot chocolate. I need coffee."

Ed waggled a finger at his boss. He really had to stop hanging around with Winry. He was adapting to many of her habits. "Coffee is bad for you-"

"Full Metal, that elixir from the gods is the only thing keeping me sane right now."

Ed gave a glance at him, "You're sane? Wouldn't have thought that." Without waiting for the reply, he dashed out of the room.

Roy narrowed his eyes out of habit and instinctively began to pet Black Hayate. 'Maybe Ed was right, this is soothing. Not going to tell him that though.'

"Here you are!" As quickly as he had left, Ed had come back in with a large smiley faced ceramic mug. "Here try it."

Roy gingerly took the mug and brought is to his lips. The way Edward was looking at him started to make him feel guilty for the way he had treated him, that is until he took a sip of the hot chocolate.

"Blah, I thought you said it was hot chocolate?"

Ed looked shocked that Mustang was getting upset at him. "I can't help it if I'm not old enough to work a stove in Central!" The older Elric gave a small pout, obviously offended that his boss failed to remember that little fact after the marshmallow catastrophe.

'Hm, at least the pocky is good.' Roy thought as he took out the piece used to stir the chocolate powder in, 'Strawberry pocky, yummy.'

"All right Ed, I concede. It is good." Ed gave a smirk.

"See? It's not poisoned." Ed gave a satisfactory smile and made himself comfortable on Roy's desk. "And look what else I brought you!" Ed began pulling out all sorts of pastries from his basket, reminding Roy of Little Red Riding Hood.

"Why exactly are you feeding me? How is this supposed to relieve my stress?" Roy began to nibble on the pocky stick.

"Well you see, I read in this book that apart of our brains hasn't fully developed. This means that it's sort of animalistic and has the intelligence of a lizard. This part controls our basic instincts. Like-"

"Full Metal, I hope your not comparing me to a lizard." Roy bit of a large piece of pocky.

"No I'm not. Now if you'll just listen to me. I'll list some of the animal instincts that this part of our brains controls. There's our instinct to avoid danger, and to provide adrenaline, and-"

"Just spit it out already." Roy finished off the pocky stick.

"'Kay, this part of our brains controls our survival. When we eat we feel happy because it sends happy chemicals throughout our body, rewarding us for not starving. Got it? Natural Chemical Highs are fun!" With that, Ed clapped his hands together and ran out of the room in ecstasy.

Roy gave a shocked blink.

Riza Hawkeye cautiously glanced in. "So that's what he did with you," and snapped her fingers. Black Hayate jumped off Roy's lap to his owner. "Sorry sir. I would have kept Ed away if he upset you this much...sir?"

"Er-What's up with him?"

"Oh, Edward sir? Havoc gave him some pocky laced with some sort of drug...Sorry sir, I found out a few minutes ago and when I went to get the pocky back Ed had apparently eaten it all." Black Hayate wiggled as Riza held him close to her. "Can I get you a cup of coffee sir?"

"Thanks, but no. Full Metal made me chocolate milk." And with that Roy finished off his very laced, but still very good pocky stick.

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