Disclaimer: is hidden elsewhere. Find it, and you get a cookie.
Kuroi-chan's disclaimer: The nickname Sagi-chan is copyrighted to Kuroi. Any other who uses it will be mocked, laughed at, and will ultimately suffer at the hands of her vengeful and depressing wrath. That and she'll nag me into yelling at you.
Saaski-chan's disclaimer: The nickname Leeni-chan is copyrighted to Saaski. Use it and die.
AN: Yeah, yeah. I understand the horribly long wait involved in this chapter. I know you all are argry – but if you whine about it instead of reviewing properly, (not that I really expect much after this long of a wait) the next wait will be longer. I do want to finish this story. Please don't allow me to procrastinate too much. E-mail's work wonders, I swear they do. Um... enjoy! Sorry about the wait!
Cricket Club 15:
Thou Shall Have Horror Movie Nights
Taking into consideration that the last time Gaara had watched a Horror Movie he had been thrown from the theatre, having a Horror Movie Night probably wasn't the best of ideas. (Does anybody remember that actually happening? It was probably chapter three... or four.)
Anyway, Naruto, suddenly struck with the need to spend quality time with Gaara, invited the red-head over to his house to watch movies. Horror Movies. Scary, Horror Movies. Because... seriously, those two don't actually spend every waking nanosecond together.
Much to Gaara's immense relief.
And disappointment.
"Alright! Horror movies!" Iruka-sensei exclaimed happily upon forcing open the heavily bolted and nailed shut door which led to the basement. He held a tray of break-n-bake cookies in his hands, which were balanced nicely as the man gingerly stepped over the splintered piece of wood that was formerly his basement door.
Gaara shot the man a dirty look for ruining the beginning of "Bring It On".
Kakashi-sensei walked into the room next with a bottle of diet juice. He was followed by Sasuke and Neji, who were holding glasses – presumably for the juice.
Naruto blinked, rather distracted now that the author was forcing the entire group of stay G-rated. And healthy.
And so it began – the ultimate movie of teenaged cheerleading angst and horror. Gaara cowered in Naruto's arms, trying to deny the very essence of idiocy that even Konoha High was infested with. Naruto cooed quietly, trying to comfort his boyfriend while secretly loving the movie. Sasuke and Neji weren't really watching the video. They were a bit... distracted with each other.
"One, two, three, four: I declare a thumb war." Sasuke said dully.
"Five, six, seven, eight: try to keep your thumb straight." Neji replied in his own monotone.
Their thumbs then proceeded to duke it out. For the next hour.
"What's the prize for winning?" Sasuke eventually wondered.
Neji promptly began nursing a nosebleed with his free hand, while the other began fighting desperately. Sasuke smirked, taking the silent hint, now determined to win. Then again... loosing would probably be just as good as wining.
Yes, that was a very casually placed hint that the two will be enjoying themselves later. And there wont be any stupid games involved either.
"Would you two stop already?" Kakashi growled from where he and Iruka-sensei were also not paying attention to the movie. They, however, were actually making out – rather than playing dumb finger games.
Chirp. Chirrrrrrrrrrp.
The crickets decided to add, voicing their protest that everybody seemed intent on ruining the movie.
Shukaku foamed at the mouth, just for the sake of foaming at the mouth. The poor raccoon that nobody could see was sad because he had accidentally drunken a bit of the aforementioned diet-juice, which was one of the main contributors to the foam that he was... foaming with.
"Oh my god!" The television blared. "Those bitches just stole, like, our stolen routine!"
Gaara whimpered and clung tighter to Naruto.
"Hiss!""Shh..." Naruto said softly, petting Gaara's hair. "They can't hurt you here."
"Like, you whore! Bring it on!"
"Oh, I'll bring it!"
"Good!"
"Good!"
"Fine!""This is so pointless." Shikamaru said from the other side of Naruto – having just been zapped into the chapter by the author. The lazy teen helped himself to some diet juice and cookies, happily drinking from Naruto's glass.
"Shikamaru?" Naruto asked, turning away from cooing at Gaara to give the lazy teen a strange look. "How did you get here?"
Shikamaru shrugged, not having the faintest idea either.
Gaara, noticing that the attention he had been receiving was now being focused elsewhere, lifted his head minutely – leveling a Glare 'O Death at his rival in love interests.
"That bitch just pulled my hair!" The television wailed, forcing an unwanted shiver to dance its way down Gaara's back. Said shiver also forced the boy to once again take refuge in Naruto's arms.
"Bring it on." The red head whispered to Shikamaru, a smirk that Naruto couldn't see firmly seated on his face.
Shikamaru scowled. "Oh, I'll bring it." He whispered back.
"Good."
"Good."
"Fine!"
"FINE!"Naruto, slightly puzzled as to why his two friends were now verbally acting out the movie, wondered if he should move out from between the two less they decide to physically act out the movie as well. Then he decided that – nah, there was no way in hell that that would ever happen.
"ALRIGHT! I WIN!" Neji cowed from the other side of the room. This – really – is the only thing that kept Gaara from pouncing on Shikamaru and pulling his hair.
Seconds later, much to the bewildered surprise of all those present, Neji had pounced on Sasuke and begun thoroughly ravishing him. Not two minutes after that, the long haired teen had dragged his best friend / boy-toy out of the room and with the distinct squeaking of bed springs ringing in their wake.
The crickets were too stunned to chirp. Neji had finally gotten over his perverted nature. He had finally grown a backbone. He had ... he had ... finally, finally gotten laid.
Naruto, oblivious as to why Neji and Sasuke had left in the middle of the movie, shrugged and turned back in time to see two of the male cheerleaders start hitting on each other.
Gaara, however, had narrowed his eyes, instantly plotting murder in case the two pretty boys had decided to perform their bedroom activities in a certain blond's bedroom. The red haired teen icon of terror knew exactly how Naruto's bed squeaked (for the blond liked to jump on it, even now). He knew exactly where in the house said bed was located, and he was suspicious that the squeaking was coming from that general direction.
Shikamaru, also having plotted the Umino-slash-Uzumaki house to the millimeter, was glaring at the ceiling. Either he was also plotting murder or he was wishing that someone would bestow the same type of attention to him, but which ever way - he was glaring.
Iruka and Kakashi were still making out – unaware of pretty much everything going on in the general vicinity of the basement – or the corner bedroom that might or might not be Naruto's bedroom. With such a distraction in each other, they also completely missed the open hostility that was now burning in both Gaara's and Shikamaru's eyes.
I'm getting Naruto, Gaara's eyes proclaimed to Shikamaru. I don't sleep, I'll get him while you can only dream of getting him.
Blonds are my preference. Shikamaru's eyes glowered back. There are no other good blonds around here.
"Hey, Shikamaru, whatever happened about Gaara's sister? I thought you liked her." Naruto butted into the silent conversation with the same lack of tact that he usually showed. "Rather, I thought that she really liked you and you were forced to like her back on the notion that she's Gaara's sister and if you insult Gaara's sister you screwed for the rest of you life."
Shikamaru stammered out an answer that had something to do with "psycho girl", "wolves", and "just plain scary".
Gaara began glaring anew, not having previously known that Tamari had liked the black haired teen sitting on the other side of Naruto. However, it wasn't as though said black haired teen hadn't already thoroughly thought of a solution to what he had already guessed would happen with Gaara about his sister.
He ran. Probably the smartest move possible.
And it was in this moment that Naruto decided to remind Gaara that he didn't really need to win the blond over, because the blond was already his. Meaning, he began serving the red head juice and cookies with a pretty pink apron with white frills. The best part, though, was the part which read "Boink the Cook".
Something Gaara intended to do the moment Neji and Sasuke finished with Naruto's bed.
Neji sighed a big "I just got really close to getting laid" sigh, a faint smirk gracing his lips. Because, while he might not have just gotten laid, he got pretty far, and he now had a boyfriend equivalent to a pile of goo curled up against him.
Sasuke sighed as well, spitting a mouthful of hair out of his mouth. "The fan girls are going to hate you for nearly taking my virginity, you know."
"Good." Neji said smugly, rolling onto his side and pulling Sasuke closer to him.
"The might even kill you."
"Nah."
Sasuke blinked, wondering why Neji was so calm about his soon coming death. "What do you mean?"
"They'll kill me when I take your virginity, not before."
Somewhere, on the other side of the door, Gaara sighed – wishing that the two in Naruto's bed would hurry up and either boink each other, or leave. He didn't wish to walk in on two naked teens. Much less two naked teens that had just nearly boinked.
Next to him, Naruto twitched. "Hey!" He shouted, "Don't make me call Itachi! Because I will, and he won't worry about running in and pouncing on you!"
The crickets, even though they too admitted that this was a good idea, chirped quietly amongst themselves, wondering if they should flee for their lives now, or wait until Itachi arrived.
Probably wait, it'd be pretty funny to watch.
Chirp. Chirrrrrrrp.
AN: OMG, has it really been that long since I've updated. I swear, I've had this chapter halfway done for months too. I wonder what's been taking me so long? Maybe I just don't want to finish this, because it will be the ending of an era, or something. sigh
Anyway, next chapter will feature ... some stuff... Also, I promise – Neji will finally get laid. No more putting it off!