1I love my two reviewers! Thank you first two reviewers! I'll do anything for reviews! Even make Naruto give you a lapdance! (Naruto is getting a little rebellious now...;;)
I can do that, I've put him in my hot guy/I felt sorry for them because no one else seems to like them harem!
Most of Naruto's snarky-ness will be internal for the next...several chaps...
V. IMPORTANTE! DO YOU WANT THAT OMAKE OR NOT? If you do, more of you better tell me, even my lovely, lovely first two reviewers.
Warnings: Same as before, yaoi, Naru-harem, angst, blah, but something new...(nothing that would offend anyone)
Disclaimer: All the manga I have attempted to write are shit. Have you read my unpublished shit manga? No. Is Naruto an unpublished shit manga? No, it's not. So it's not an unpublished shit manga written by me.
Lazy Perverted Art Teachers...Chapter three.
Riiing. Riiing.
"Hello?"
/"I want to talk to the headmistress right now, please."/
"I'm terribly sorry, but Tsunade-san is not accepting calls right now."
/"You think I care? Get her on the phone this instant!"/
"Look, I said sorry, but-"
"You tell her I want that freak out of my child's school or my Shinsuke-kun is leaving!"
CLICK. The angry caller hung up.
Keiko Kino sighed and set the phone down. That was the tenth upset parent in the past half hour. And Tsunade was stubbornly refusing to accept phone calls. The lazy ass was probably sleeping while Keiko was haggling with the callers.
It really wasn't fair. Tsunade could ignore the bitching parents. Fifty-three year old Tsunade looked like she was thirty. And most of the parent's didn't even leave names.
Oh well. Considering the circumstances, the number of phone calls was relatively low. Keiko had heard of instances in other schools when the phone lines had been used so much they had to be disconnected.
Probably, the students knew that their parents didn't want them associating with that Umino Naruto, but didn't know why. So a lot didn't bother to tell their parents about the knew student.
It wouldn't make a difference. Word would spread eventually, and the school would most likely be in danger of being shut down unless Umino-san left. The only real place for him, it seemed, would be home schooling. It was a pity; Umino-san was very smart, given the chance, according to his records from prior academies.
The old secretary sighed again when the phone rang, and reached to pick it up.
-
Sasuke was grumbling internally. Not that he didn't want to make noises of irritation outwardly, but, once again, he did not want to attract attention, and grumbling was not an Uchiha-like thing to do. Even though he wasn't particularly affectionate about his late family, did not mean that he did not respect the habits that were deeply ingrained in his memory from childhood.
Those memories were the driving force behind him, what caused him to excel in the things he chose to do, to be like him.
Sasuke bowed his head. Maybe no one would recognize him. Maybe the uniform would disguise him. No doubt if he wore everyday clothes, his stalkers would memorize every article of clothing he owned. They had already documented and tagged his boxers twice. (After Sasuke had discovered this, he had thrown out the contaminated things and bought new ones, taking precautions against their falling into enemy hands again.)
If only, if only, Sasuke didn't stand out so much. Sasuke knew that he was a freak, he just knew it. Only a freak could be recognized in dark stairwells with his head bowed, while wearing the same freaking thing as everyone else. Only a freak.
His glasses slipped down his nose. Frowning, Sasuke pushed them back up. It was a good thing he didn't play sports, or fixing the damned things would get to be a bigger pain in the ass than they were already.
Sasuke was employing every technique he knew to avoid people who would ogle him, fawn over him, or actually try to start a conversation with him. So with difficulty, Sasuke picked up a faint voice that he heard...on his answering machine, before classes, during breaks, after school...basically any time he was unable to avoid her. The one who talked to him. Opened her mouth, vibrating vocal cords, and made words fall out of her mouth. Ino had been avoiding him in favor of the new guy (just what was with that guy?)so that left one slightly-normal-stalker girl.
Sakura. Eeew. Cooties. She definitely had them.
Because he was walking past the office at that point, Sasuke made a quick turn and jogged up the much-unused staircase situated beside it.
Once safely behind the metal doors, Sasuke sighed (inwardly) and jogged up the stairs towards his classroom.
-
Naruto, like Sasuke, wanted to hide. However, unlike Sasuke, he didn't.
And he endured their abuse, their disregard, their taunting, indiscernible words whispered behind their hands, his back, so he couldn't hear-
No. Naruto shook his head in an attempt to rid himself of such thoughts. Those were for when he was alone, not for them, for then.
Naruto continued his trek to his class, the long way, waiting to see if anyone would talk to him, maybe Ino didn't know yet, maybe she didn't care, his friend...
But the objective part of him whispered, even if she doesn't like you anymore, you got things from her, information, you used them just like they use you. To vent their petty frustrations. With themselves and with each other. Freaks. Sleazy easy freaks, even if they hated him they were painfully easy to manipulate.
I wanna kill them, ungrateful pricks.
No, no, stop it, not here, they're here, they can't know, find out. It's wrong. Wrong like me.
The nasty little thoughts that Naruto thought ceased, over and done with. They weren't a problem at home, where he felt at home, and was alone with only Iruka, because Iruka knew him, how he worked, what he thought, but he didn't care about it anyway, because Iruka loved his little brother.
"Naruto-kun! Why're you ignoring me?"
Naruto started. "Ah, Ino-chan, I was thinking and I didn't notice you were there!"
"Yeah" Ino looked around conspiratorially. "Look," she whispered, "Don't mind them, they'll stop gossiping about you after a while, when someone else comes along and does something stupid, ya know?"
"Yeah..."
"Ino-chan, why aren't you avoiding me?"
"Because I don't want to." Naruto looked at her incredulously. "You haven't done anything that I've heard about. I'm as stubborn as a pig, and I'll make my own opinions."
"Oh." Neither could think of much to say after that, and walked on to their next class, ignoring the whispers that had increased in volume.
-
Sakura walked through the school, trying to sift out Sasuke's face in the crowds of students. Unfortunately (or fortunately) she didn't see the object of her affections as he had hidden as soon as he had heard her voice. (No, Sasuke was not afraid of some little pink-haired girl, that would be ludicrous!) However, she came upon something much more interesting.
"My, my, Ino-pig," she murmured, "you're not cheating on Sasuke-kun, are you?"
"What was that, Sakura-senpai?" asked a freshman, an new member to the Church of Sasuke, run by one Haruno Sakura. Of course she would be in charge of it. Everyone looked up to her faithfulness to Sasuke-kun, aspired to it.
"Oh, nothing. I'm just–gathering information. We wouldn't want anyone to break the rules, would we?" Sakura smiled sweetly.
The new recruit was puzzled momentarily, but the crack in Sakura's sugary-sweet demeanor was quickly iced over. Sakura-senpai is perfect, she knows everything about Sasuke-sama, I'll be just like her until I'm worthy, too.
The group of Sasuke-worshipers was slowly gathering, to squeal over and generally exalt the Uchiha. Five minutes before class, the crowd dispersed, and went their respective ways, to continue on the path to perfection. Their Sasuke-sama didn't deserve anything less.
-
blah, Blah, Blah, BLAH-------------
Jiraya-sensei droned on and on and on and on until he thought his eardrums would burst and then–
It stopped.
And began anew, with a different tone. More business-like than dreary. Naruto jerked his head a few centimeters above his desk, where he had been resisting beating it moments before.
"Listen up, you brats, because I'm not gonna repeat this. For the rest of the semester you'll be working in groups. You'll be given time to work in class and brainstorm, but the bulk of your work will be done at home." The old pervert turned to the board and wrote.
(On the Board)
The Assignment:
(NTB) Jiraya began to speak as he was writing.
(OTB) You will work in groups of three. Groups will need to meet after school, either in each other's homes or in another setting. Each week, you will draw a picture/portrait of each of your teammates that emulates what you see when you look at them. Small pictures may be on any type of paper except lined. You will write a paragraph of at least five sentences per week explaining your artwork and why you drew what you drew. You may use whatever drawing style you like, your own or the drawing style of the person you are drawing. During the last month of the semester, you will do a large-scale piece for each teammate of 1 ½ x 2 foot in size or larger in a medium of your choice, and write a three-paragraph essay for each.
(NTB) Jiraya-sensei stopped writing and turned back to the class. "So don't slack off, I'm gonna collect the assignments each week. Take the time to get to know your teammates so you do a good job, okay? And the school will provide portfolios store your work when you're working on it and after you get it back. If you need a bigger one for the large piece, we'll arrange something. Or you can buy your own stuff..." Jiraya finished gleefully. "And now, the teams!..."
-
Naruto was bewildered.
Ino was crying.
Sakura was gnashing her teeth.
Hinata was frantically praying for help.
Shikamaru started to blush, then cringed because he wasn't used to craning his neck so much.
Sasuke was crowing (inwardly, of course).
Why?
Naruto was bewildered, because how was he supposed to write and draw about the pissy-est and lazy-est guys in the room?
Ino was crying because she had to work with Sakura.
Sakura was gnashing her teeth because Sasuke was placed with that--that boy, that Ino was betraying the church of Sasuke with.
Hinata was praying, because, how the hell was she going to mediate between Ino and Sakura?
Shikamaru was blushing because he had looked at Naruto and decided that he was pretty (and had an excuse to stare) and cringing because he hardly ever turned his head. Now he had a crick in his neck.
Sasuke was crowing because he got to work with the mysterious new kid and his information-gathering was about to get a million times easier.
Jiraya giggled, ordered his students into their groups, and whipped out his notepad. Ha! Take that, Tsunade-hag! Now I have time to work on Icha-Icha Rave, and you can't do ANYTHING about it because I gave the brats work! GWAHAHAHA! Big man laugh!. Hehe, this will be my most perverted novel yet!
-
"Sooooo...Naruto leaned back in his chair and adjusted his new uniform. Woot! I can get anything from Iruka! He's so eeeeaasy. "Um...you...know how to speak, right? Erm...heeelllloooooo...?"
Double damn. He's not as interesting as I thought. Sasuke thought. "Yes, I know how to speak, idiot. I just choose not to."
Naruto, had he chose to, could have acted offended. Instead, he chose to act -extremely- offended.
"Jesus, you bastard, yah can't blame me. You just sit there like some lump with your back all hunched over." Bastard Bastard BASTARD BASTARD!
Shikamaru chose that most convenient time to wander over to where the two were sitting. Okay, Shika, you gotta act cool... "I'm in your group."
Nice...
Naruto immediately diverted his attention from Sasuke to a more willing conversationalist. "Hey, I'm Naruto! You're Shikamaru, right, Ino pointed you out yesterday and I remembered you because your hair reminded me of my brother Iruka----"
Sasuke didn't know why he suddenly got pissed. Oh, right. It was because that lazy ass had to come over and distract Naruto from his bitching. A type of attention Sasuke could appreciate. It was different from Kakashi's suggestive and annoying questions and comments, and much less irritating than the swooning fan-girls simpering. It was refreshing. So, damn, double damn, and thrice-damn that Shikamaru!
Sasuke was brought out of his musings by the sound of the blonde wonder's voice. "Oi, Uchiha, are you even listening? You free after school tomorrow?"
"What? Are you-"
"Don't act so stupid, you know we all have to work on that project. Now, are you free, cause me'n Shikamaru-kun were going to go to my house after school tomorrow to start working." Naruto rambled on irritatingly. When had the conversation changed from Naruto saying an ass-load of nothing to plans for the art project? And when had-
"Shikamaru-kun." Sasuke didn't even raise an eyebrow. Dammit. The lazy ass was stealing his attention, the attention that should have been trained on Uchiha Sasuke.
"Yeah, well he isn't a bastard like you. I think Sasuke-teme is much more appropriate. Unless you stop being mean." Naruto squinted. Sasuke blinked. Shikamaru was too lazy to do much of anything at all.
"Well?" Sasuke blinked again.
"What?"
"Arg! Honestly, and you call me an idiot, are you busy tomorrow!" Naruto was getting red in the face. And his cheeks were puffing out like a squirrel's.
"No."
Naruto deflated. "Fine then, bring what you need so we can get started."
"Shouldn't we go somewhere else?" Shikamaru decided to, amazingly, open his mouth again. And do something other than sigh.
Naruto swivelled his head back towards Shikamaru, who had at some earlier time sat down in a nearby desk. "What? Why?"
"I don't think we'll learn much about each other by just going to your home." Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck. He couldn't believe he was actually going to say this, but- "We should probably go out and do something so we can find out each other's likes and dislikes."
Sasuke chose to forgo his Uchiha-patented stoic/brooding face in favor of openly gaping. Nara Shikamaru, never, ever, displayed initiative. He sighed, said things were troublesome, and in general didn't move. And if he did, it was slowly and with much complaining. So this new Shikamaru must be wrong. Maybe an evil twin? A clone sent by aliens? Hmmm...
Sasuke excused himself to go brood.
-
After some more boring classes and a quiz (Naruto was sure he at least passed, but that was left to be discovered, as he was still behind on notes), Naruto's stomach was thanking whomever created it. Why, you ask, would a stomach be thanking someone? Because it was lunchtime and Iruka had deigned to pack ramen in a thermos instead of a healthier lunch.
Actually, all of Naruto was happy that he got to eat ramen, not just his stomach. Ramen, to him, was nirvana. Warm and salty and noodly...mmmm, ramen. Ino just didn't understand. (Maybe it was because she was constantly dieting.) Neither did, apparently, Hinata or Neji, who had come to eat with them again. Neji acted like all it did was turn him into some sort of savage. And Hinata...she smiled nervously, like usual, and said if he enjoyed it, he enjoyed it. But she didn't really comprehend what ramen did to him.
Ramen was what Iruka took Naruto to eat when they first met, when it was cold and Naruto was running alone, away from the adults who wanted to have him locked up, killed. Naruto, then, didn't understand why everyone hated him. He just knew that he was a freak, and that Iruka accepted that as a part of being Naruto and liked him anyway.
"Naruto, how do you eat that fast and talk at the same time without getting messy?"
"Aaahh, Ino-chan, it's all in the technique. Eating ramen is like coordination training if you do it right. Just like Ranma! Only I don't have to defend my food because other people are afraid of losing a finger if they interfere." Naruto slurped up the rest of his ramen and laughed.
Eating fast and neat was just a way to eat as much food as possible before it got taken away.
"Okay..." Well, Naruto-kun, if you insist. Ino returned to her brooding. How dare that old pervert put her in a group with Sakura! Anyone else would have been better, Ino was friendly with most everyone else...most of the time.
"I-ino-chan, when d-do you think we sho-ould meet for our project?" Aahhhg. Why did Hinata have to bring that stupid project up? Why?
"Oh, I don't know. We'll have to check with Queen Sakura."
"Ino-chan, y-ou should try to get along with her, at least for the pro-ject." Hinata worried. She would do okay, she wasn't fighting with either girl, but the other two might have problems-
"You could get switched to another group," Neji suggested, like it should have been obvious.
"Oh, hell no! I'm not backing down!" Fuck that! Sakura can get switched, that fucking little-
"Hello, Ino-chan, I was wondering if you and Hinata-chan would like to come over to my house tonight to start planning for the project," Sakura said sweetly (even her insults were said sweetly).
"Oh, of course I would, would you, Hinata-chan?" Ino exclaimed. Hinata nodded furiously, not trusting herself to speak.
"Well, I'll meet you outside the school then, I have to meet Sasuke-kun before I go home." Sakura flounced back to her flock.
"Speaking of the bastard, where is he?" Naruto mumbled around a mouthful of food.
His three companions stared at him. Where?--
Well, don't they know it's rude to stare?
"Baka, stop eating my food!" Neji glared venomously.
Ha! You should be thanking me, now your high and mighty ass won't get fat!
"Meep?"
-
Sasuke was glaring at Neji. And Ino. And even Hinata. What right did they have to spend time with Naruto? Naruto was meant to work with him, in his group, so there would be one less person he could not easily predict and manipulate. Naruto wasn't even in a group with them!
Sasuke continued to glare as Neji hit the back of Naruto's head with his palm. And as Naruto spit out the food in his mouth as a result. Which landed on Neji's neatly pressed and buttoned school jacket. Sasuke could see every single grain, even from this distance.
Sasuke glared as Naruto apologized about a million times, profusely, and tugged a frozen stiff Neji to his feet and towards the bathroom. Dammit! Not the bathroom! Sasuke couldn't watch Naruto's expression, read his lips when he was in the bathroom! Nuooo!
-
Naruto was still apologizing for spitting rice into Neji's lap as he pulled said boy down the hall.
"I'm soo, so sorry, I really honestly didn't mean to do that, I swear I will never eat your food again because, oh god I'm sooorry!" As they arrived at the bathroom, Naruto toed the door open and shoved Neji inside.
"Umm, here, I'll clean you up." Since it doesn't seem like you're going to be doing it anytime soon.
Naruto grabbed a paper towel and stuck it in the sink to wet it. He turned to look at Neji who was still staring blankly ahead. Probably wishing he hadn't gotten so upset about his lunch...
Naruto stepped back over to Neji and started wiping the rice and spit off of the taller boy's jacket. Paused, and then noticed where the excess had fallen after Neji had stood. Uh-oh. I don't wanna wipe there. Crap. But it's not like he can do it himself, and it is my fault...
Naruto sighed. And on his second day of school, too. He could only hope that no one walked in and jumped to conclusions. That last thought still in his mind, he began to lean forward, bit by bit, until–
Neji jolted out of his daze. "Moron, what are you doing?" The yell came out more like a strangled yelp than Neji wanted it to.
Naruto could see the light blush flickering on and off across the bridge of Neji's nose as he fought for control.
"Erm, well, lets just say I'm glad you woke up in time, and I'm very, very, sorry?" Naruto flushed.
Neji caught the implication, and his suspicions were confirmed. He blushed darker than Naruto.
What a lousy time to discover that you're gay...
Naruto looked at Neji.
Well, well, well. Looks like I have one less friend, after this stunt. He's so furious he looks like a tomato.
"Well, hurry and clean up! Here, I'll turn around. Okay? So, you don't need to be embarrassed." Naruto did just that.
"..." Neji hurredly wiped his pants off and vainly tried to dry them off with another napkin.
"..."
"Well, don't be so anal about it. I'll explain that you didn't wet yourself."
"...!...!...?" Neji blushed so red that he thought his head would explode. How does someone say something like that?
-
(Naruto had forcibly removed Neji from the boy's room. After much cajoling and a hell of a lot of shoving.)
Clouds are white, like Naruto's skin, the sky is blue, like Naruto's eyes, that particular cloud looks like Naruto's face...Shikamaru sang in his head. It would appear that he had found inspiration for his art project. And such a wonderful art project it was. He might actually do it, this time. Only Naruto's half, though. He didn't really care so much for the Uchiha's sulky visage.
When the school doors swung open with a squeal and shut with a bang, Nara Shikamaru did not remove his eyes from the vast blue sky. He did, however, allow his eyes to wander in the direction of the entrance when he heard a particular voice.
"Hey, it's that new kid," Shikamaru's best friend Chouji rumbled as he paused in stuffing his face.
Indeed it was. Naruto was currently dragging Neji across the courtyard, and Neji was resisting, for whatever reason. Shikamaru and Chouji were to far away to actually decipher the words being said.
Neji planted his feet in the ground and stalwartly refused to go any further. Naruto stomped his foot and argued. The Hyuuga shook his head, and the blonde crossed his arms. Shikamaru was horribly jealous, because the pair looked like just that, a couple having a minor argument.
That is sooooooo not allowed.
With his arms still crossed, Naruto turned his head until his eyed lit on Shikamaru and Chouji, who pretended to not be staring. Naruto pointed in their direction, grabbed Neji's arm, and hauled him towards the lazy and the hungry.
Shikamaru was watching, but the thought didn't really connect. So he was completely startled when Naruto trudged up to him, the Hyuuga in tow.
"Hi, Shikamaru-kun!"
"Huh?" Shikamaru uttered intelligently. Well, his I.Q. was over 200. Whatever he said would be intelligent, right?
"I thought I'd stop by and say hi, because Neji-kun's being stubborn and won't go back to where we were before. And, hey, I don't think we've been formally introduced. Akimichi-san, right?"
"Yup, that's me. Nice ta meetcha."
"Same here! You a good friend of Shikamaru-kun? Ha, that's a stupid question, of course you are, why else would you be eating lunch with him?" Naruto babbled because he couldn't think of anything else to say.
"..." Awkward silence reigned supreme.
Then the killer.
"My parent's don't think I should hang around you too much," Chouji said slowly, as if deep in thought. Naruto stiffened. It's beginning again. "But you seem like a good guy, so I think I will anyway."
"Oh."
Shikamaru noticed a dark stain on Neji's navy slacks.
The bell rang and Naruto dashed to gather his and Neji's things, while Neji stood stupidly until Naruto returned.
"Urk...you're just standing there...Come on, we need to get to class, right?
Fucking morons...
To be...or not to be continued. I think to be.
I considered making this longer. Really I did. But it was fourteen pages without my extremely long non-informative author's notes. I think not. The rest of this school day will be continued next chapter. And there will be more of angsty Naru-kun because we will be in his head more that chapter. I've been making him peppy with snarky thoughts mixed in then and there.
Although, the beginning...yeah.
And does Sakura seem a little mental to anyone? She does to me. I honestly wasn't planning on that. I was just gonna make her a supreme bitch, but, hey, whatever.
And, finally, you absolutely cannot have a highschool AU without a project that requires the characters to go to each other's homes and attempt to beat up their rivals and screw their love interest. (Sorry, couldn't think of anything else. But the project is kinda original, and so is the team, and that they're teams of three, I should get brownie points!)
Will the omake come into creation? Read the next chapter to find out! And while you're at it, review! Actually, if you want that omake, you have to review. So, do it. Do it. Do it.