Mustang Hired Himself A Counsellor!

By:

Inu-Moon94

AN: So, I'm just doing this possibly three-shot fanfic since I'm pretty depressed, happy, bored, and in a comical mood. (I'm a very odd mixed feelings person, there are times where I actually feel happy and sad at the same time...O.o) I'm depressed because of a billion reasons including heartbreak and the other reasons for the other feelings are pretty much useless and I'm too sleepy to type them up and I don't wanna waste space so yeah... Umm, enjoy and R&R please to save this 1/4 depressed soul and possibly cheer her up a bit!

Disclaimer: Well, of course I don't own FMA or any of the charries dammit!

Warnings: Possibly some anime/manga spoilers! & some cursing! The chappies may be pretty darn short too!

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"Chief hired himself a counsellor all because he's depressed! He's made me depressed nearly every single day and you don't see me hiring a counsellor!" Jean Havoc exclaimed as he took a long drag on his cigarette.

"Maybe that's because you can't afford one like the rest of us." Fuery said with a laugh.

"I bet you a 1000 cens that Colonel saved some cash to hire this counsellor." Breda said as he took out all the money in his pocket.

All four men in Mustang's office, Breda, Falman, Fuery, and Havoc took out a 1000 cens and said,"Yup."

The only woman in the office, Riza Hawkeye, sighed and asked,"How is it a bet if all of you choose the same choice? You'll just get to keep your own money."

"That's the point." All the men said with the cash held in their hands.

Riza Hawkeye sighed and waited for Mustang to come, he was pretty late for a change.

Colonel Roy Mustang stepped into the office and sat down on his desk, rushing through his paperwork. Everyone fell silent at this shocking action of Roy actually doing his paperwork without a gun pointing at his head.

"So Chief, why are you doing your paperwork so quickly without complaining for a very rare change?" Havoc asked with his cigarette in the middle of his teeth while he was grinning.

"Oh, my counsellor Rebecca wants to see me. She told me to call her 'honey'." Mustang answered as he practically scribbled his signature on the seemingly endless pages of paperwork.

"Is she your newest girlfriend, Colonel?" Breda asked simply.

Mustang looked at Breda and said with a smirk,"Well, well Breda. I thought that you might ask that. I know that I am quite the ladies man with a very good charm but sadly she is nothing but a very good friend, like Hawkeye."

This had never happened to Hawkeye in her life before but this time she felt a twinge of something in her heart. She felt anger all of a sudden, a sort of anger that made her want to make something hers and only hers. Riza soon realized

that she was... JEALOUS

"Colonel, this counsellor must be a very good companion of yours then. Why don't you invite her over some time here? I would love to meet her." Riza said very unexpectedly, having all the subordinates look at her with pure silence.

Mustang actually smiled instead of smirking as he mostly did and said,"Of course Hawkeye! I was planning to make you all meet her!"

Mustang had signed his last paper of the day and he practically ran out of the door, skipping all the way out of the State Alchemist Building. Every single worker who was in the hallways during the time Mustang was skipping and galloping was staring at him with silence and many sweatdrops on their heads.

"What has this counsellor done to Colonel!" Fuery exclaimed as he watched Mustang leave with a huge sweatdrop.

All of Mustang's subordinates were very scared of this new happy-pappy Mustang and they wished for the sarcastic Colonel to come back. Well, only one subordinate was not scared... First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye.

"Maybe this counsellor influenced Colonel in such a way that he has actually turned into this very positive person." Falman answered logically.

"No! I bet this counsellor must have seduced Colonel in such a way that he's practically being used by her to turn into this happy freak so that he could get rewarded with her body!" Havoc exclaimed as he took a puff of his cigarette.

The thing that Havoc had said had struck Hawkeye like a dagger. She sighed and said,"No, Colonel wouldn't be such an ass as to fall for things like that."

"Maybe he would be! You never know! Maybe that counsellor is actually some hooker trying to change Mustang to her tastes and getting paid at the same time!" Fuery exclaimed as he pushed his glasses up.

The thing that Fuery had said had struck Hawkeye like a bullet. She glared at Fuery and immediantly grabbed her gun out of her pocket and pointed it at Fuery's head.

"Stop thinking such illiterate things Fuery. You know that only perverts think of such things." Hawkeye said as she still pointed the gun at Fuery's head.

Fuery started to slowly back away with great fear and exclaimed,"I-I was just kidding! D-Don't take my joke so seriously!"

Riza Hawkeye put her gun back into her pocket and answered coldly,"I hope you were joking there, Fuery."

Everyone of the subordinates immediantly decided to change the topic before the Trigger Happy Woman would really shoot their brains out.

"So... You know that new bar that just got made around here? I heard that only militants are allowed to go there and it's like a first-class bar." Havoc said with a smile as he made his cigarette turn a circle in his mouth. He was trying to signal to the men that he was just saying that to change the topic.

"N-" Fuery had got interrupted by a hard nudge in the ribs from Breda. "Oh... Oh, y-yeah... It's really cool! I've heard that even some cool cats and dogs are there!"

"And a room for people scared of animals like me!" Breda exclaimed with a smile.

They continued on talking about this bar that ended up turning into the bar of their dreams instead of the actual bar created by the State Alchemist Building.

Riza Hawkeye looked at the time and immediantly left as she had finished all her work. She walked to her home quickly and fed Black Hayate first thing before anything else.

As she ate in silence, she was thinking thoughts of jealousy. "A very good friend like me, huh? How could he think that some counsellor that he had for just 3 days be just as good a friend as me? Roy's also changed because of her, it's been 10 years since I knew Roy and he never changed because of something that I did..."

Hawkeye practically threw her dishes into the sink and washed them furiously, she put them back quickly and thought of a plan to make Mustang hate the 'wicked wench' AKA his counsellor.

She thought of the perfect plan and back-up plans and exclaimed before she fell asleep,"I'll make him want to turn back to normal and hate that wench alright or else I'm not Elizabeth 'Riza' Hawkeye!"

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Roy Mustang stepped into his home and started burning random papers he found in his home. "Damn, all that happy acting could've killed me! I hope that Rebecca's plan to make Hawkeye jealous actually works or else I'm gonna make her into ashes by a simple snap!" Mustang snapped and burned a doll that appeared from mid-air because of the story's dramatic scene.

Someone started knocking the door and Mustang opened the door, knowing that it would be no one none other than Rebecca.

Rebecca was a woman that perfectly resembled an hour-glass figure. She had long, black hair with 2 pigtails that were tied with 2 pink ribbons, a purple dress and pink sandals. That was what she always wore unless it was winter (she wore a sleeved purple dress and pink swede boots then) or if she had to go to some fancy/special event. At least that was what she always wore when she was in the act of being Rebecca and not some other woman.

"So Boss, is the plan working perfectly?" Rebecca asked as Mustang closed the door and beckoned her to sit down.

Mustang smirked angrily and exclaimed,"No, it is not Rebecca! I paid you to give me a succeeding plan but all I get is surprised bastards staring at my supposed attitude change! I like attention, but I want attention from Riza, not random bastards!"

Rebecca looked at Mustang very calmly and said,"Calm down Boss, it never works at the first try all the time. Sometimes it takes quite some time before the plan comes into work. Remember, I'm a professional matchmaker, con artist and hacker after all!"

"You are so lucky I don't arrest you right here and drag you along with me to a little place I call prison. I might actually get promoted if I drag you along to jail because they're currently looking for a con artist and hacker named Julie Harrison, Rebecca." Mustang said with a smirk, he was attempting to intimidate the very calm Julie Harrison.

"Go ahead Boss, you won't be able to score your love then." Julie answered very calmly.

Mustang looked at her and said,"You are to come to the State Headquarters with me and meet my team of subordinates as Riza wants to meet you."

Julie laughed and exclaimed,"Oh my God! How fcuking dense can you be Boss! Obviously, she's jealous if she wants to meet me! With a guy that keeps on getting new girlfriends, you sure don't know women!"

Julie continued on laughing at Mustang's denseness until Mustang put on his gloves and created a spark of fire right next to her face. She straightened up and sat back in her chair, stopping her laughter abruptly. "Okay, okay Boss. Calm down!"

Mustang sat back down on his chair and asked,"You do know how to act when you pretend to my counsellor back there right?"

"I know perfectly how to act like one Boss, I just need to know some tragic bits of your life."

Roy Mustang went on and on for what seemed like hours until Julie looked at him with her usual calm look and said,"Boss, I said I needed to know some tragic bits of your life, not your whole tragic history."

Roy Mustang sighed and said,"I just thought that you might want some details."

"I thought that I was going to be there for an hour or two, not for a day or two!" Julie exclaimed with a laugh.

"Well, I wanted to be extra cautious since you never know the cautioness of Riza." Mustang answered with a laugh.

Julie Harrison just got up from her chair all of a sudden and went out the door. "Good bye Roy! I hope that you've learned to cope with your tragic life with 120 pure happiness! I'll come visit you at 6 o'clock sharp!" Julie exclaimed as she walked towards her newest rented home that was actually very close to Mustang's.

Roy Mustang waved good bye to her and smiled, he felt guilty for making a woman pretend to be something and him having to pretend to be a different person just to get Riza Hawkeye for himself but he thought that he had no other choice since he just couldn't tell Hawkeye himself...

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AN: So, how did you like it so far? In the next chappie, they are all gonna meet Julie AKA Rebecca. Could you guess what's gonna happen? Will Havoc fall for this professional hacker and con artist? Shall Hawkeye actually attempt to shoot Rebecca's brains out or will she storm out of the room?