Escape From my Darkness

Chapter III A Chance to be Free

Well, well it seems like the story has drawn more attention, that's good. Despite that I don't have that much of a following it doesn't really matter. This story probably doesn't fit the tastes of most readers, but that doesn't really matter.

I also apologise for the lateness of Unbreakable Bond, however I'm suffering from writers block. I'll try to get it up within the week, or next weekend. However I just had this crazy idea for this story so I just had to write it out. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Well anyways, on with the next chapter.

Rei sighed tiredly as she sat at the foot of her bed. Two days she spent surviving. For two days she endured glares from females, physical and verbal abuse from Asuka, and on top of that, maintaining her composure. Thursday had been the worst of the two as she had dressed much like herself. She had stayed, or more so he stayed, with her throughout the day. She received angry stares and several threats to stay away from Shinji. Often she wanted to turn tail and leave, but every time he stopped her and reassured her. Something about his body language during that day left her puzzled when she thought about it. It seemed out of his character since he's only seen interacting with his two friends. He normally would remain hidden if possible. She welcomed it nonetheless. Even if it was out of character she felt safe around him. Even before her depression she never really felt safe around anyone. Only around Shinji she felt a sense of security.

Rei sighed tiredly as she lay back on her bed in her uniform. She had gone through yet another rigorous day of harassment leaving her exhausted. Even with Shinji's support it greatly taxed her. She stared up at the ceiling as her hand ran through her hair. She couldn't help but smile at the feel of her hair. It was great for once, not feeling split ends or oil. She had her hair cut yesterday and began taking care of it again. The barber was delighted to see her again that he charged her half price. All she had done was simply shortened it so that it curved into her neck. An improvement to the straight down tangled hair she had prior. Today it was uniforms again, Shinji had complimented her hair. Rei felt a bit warm remembering the compliment. He had said she looked good with that hairstyle, and that it suited her. Her hand gently brushed her hair as it grazed the hairpin she wore to hold her hair behind her left ear. She had worn it since her hair cut. She unclipped it and stared.

It was snow white with a cherry blossom flower on the end. As she held it in the moonlight the pin softly glowed. It was one of her favourites; she had it for years. For how long she no longer knew. She had stopped wearing it when she started high school. People thought it looked silly on her so she only wore it at home. It was something she treasured among her few prized possessions. It was the only thing she had that connected her to her original mother. She looked at the underside as she read the name, Tomoyo Ayanami. That was the only thing she had of her mother. She sighed sadly. Neither she nor Reiki knew anything of their family. All she knew was that her parents died when she was five. That's all she knew, nothing more. She gently thumbed the flower as it brought forth recent memories.

She sighed happily remembering what Shinji had told her. He said she looked cute with it. She had to turn her back on him to hide her blush. She never felt as embarrassed in her life as she was then. It felt alien to her; almost unnatural. It was something she didn't know how to handle, especially since she never had to deal with boys in such a manner. He made her feeling something she hadn't felt in a while. She felt good. Not only that, he aroused something within her that she only began to experience. She felt more like a girl.

She was always an extreme tomboy, wearing jeans, doing sports, not that many female related activities with the exception of the violin. Other than that it was mostly male related activities; martial arts being her number one thing. She and Reika were the best in their dojo but after Rei had quit her skills diminished. Not like she cared at the time. For most her life she felt like a boy and was treated as such. She liked it, as it was something she had grown up with. But when Shinji started to compliment her and treat her accordingly, she felt like a female.

Feeling like a female, a strange feeling it was. After two years of depression she actually felt human. It was a nice feeling and yet she found it suddenly frightening. She had been rooted into a single way of life for two years, was suddenly thrust into a world she knew nothing about. The ways of society scared her. A date was a term of society which implied a boy and girl go out and spend time together alone; be it a simple or romantic outing. Although the date with Shinji was a simple outing, she feared it anyways. The way she dressed Thursday also conformed to society. At one point a popular girl, she had been asked to dress as such by Reika. So she dressed like one and looked like one, as she conformed to society's standards of what a popular girl looks like. She had changed herself to match the rules and standards set by society. All the time she always tried to go against standards, dressing like boys, wearing cloths that scandalized most girls and adults, did things that were not considered proper for a girl, and then some. To suddenly find she's conforming to society began to distress her. She found it increasingly hard to breathe, feeling its mighty hand pressing down on her.

She shot up from her bed and slammed up against the bathroom door in an attempt to space herself. Her breathing laboured heavily as her eyes widened in fear as a presence became known to her. She whimpered fearfully as she hid in the corner between the balcony and closet doors. She leaned deep into the corner as she slid down. Sweet coated her silk white skin, sealing her in a glossy film. Her voice caught in her throat as she trembled under the darkness. It was the darkness that took him. It was the darkness that took Kouji. Now it came for her. She curled up into a tight ball as she gripped her hairpin and locket with all her heart.

She chanced a peek and shut her eyes tight. It was far worse than she could imagine. The demon's form was beyond imaginings. Its eyes pierce her soul with the agility and grace of a well placed arrow shot. Its arms long and nimble danced in and out tearing her defences. It wanted her and it would get her. It was the very being that took the person that saw her as a female and it wanted her. It desired granting eternal pain. It desired her eternal suffering. It desired the world to forget her. It desired her destruction.

"NO! GET AWAY!"

But it wouldn't. It continued its slow agonizing approach, slowly as it swatted her defences. She opened her eyes and screamed in fear.

"Rei, are you alright?"

She saw its eyes, its hollowed eyes that led deep within itself. It was sickening. She felt sick at the sight of it. She wanted to close her eyes but she couldn't. As it lumbered she could see its many victims. Children of all ages strapped or chained to tables, chairs, walls, each other, or caged with other children, or with beings. She saw adults that had been forced to watch as the children were beaten, slashed, and even tortured unable to do a thing to save them. She trembled at the sight of her parents who were forced to watch such atrocities.

"Ayanami-san, what's going on?"

"NO … PLEASE! GET AWAY!"

It just wouldn't. It loomed over her towering above the clouds. It bent down as it brought its face to hers. Her heart beat mightily against her chest as her lungs fought to give her oxygen. She could feel its breath, its very touch freezing all around it. Its breath, filled with the stench of death. It suddenly snapped its head back as it revealed its face. In that instant, her whole world stopped.

"KOUJI!"

"Rei, REI! SNAP OUT OF IT!"

"Who's…who's there?" She slowly opened her eyes as they revealed Shinji's face.

"Ikari-kun?"

"What a relief. You had us worried," said Shinji as a wide smile formed on his face. Rei soon realized that he held her in his arms. She felt tired, especially after that encounter with whatever that was. She sighed contently, snuggled closer to Shinji as she gently let sleep take her.

"Rei, wake up," a gently voice called out. "Rei, it's 2 in the afternoon." Rei slowly opened her eyes as it met the warm gaze of her adoptive sister.

"Onee-san," Rei weakly whispered, "what happened?"

"You had a nightmare," Ritsuko calmly explained, gently stroking Rei's hair. "Shinji-kun and Reika-chan heard you scream. They came up to see you were tossing around. You then suddenly stopped that they thought you had fallen unconscious. Shinji-kun had Reika-chan call me while he took care of you. By the time I had arrived, you had fallen asleep already."

"I see. What happened afterwards?"

"My, my, inquisitive are we? Well afterwards they went back to work on their biology project for a while before he had to leave. Which reminds me; he wanted me to tell you that if you were unable to go today he'd understand. He also left his number and e-mail address." Ritsuko held a piece of paper to Rei as she slowly accepted it.

"Get some rest, the phone is right on there on the nightstand," she stated, pointing to the table between the two beds. "Please check with me before you decide to go out. I'll be in my office."

"Onee-san, where is Reika-san?"

"She's with friends, and school will mostly be cancelled until Wednesday. Apparently a prank had gone bad, as a couple cases of fireworks somehow exploded on the school grounds. Also some sort of material was spilled throughout most of the first floor. It was an acidic solution, that is all we know, or rather I know. Mother is seeing to it right now."

"I see. Thank you, onee-san." Ritsuko nodded and walked out of the room, gently closing the door behind her.

Rei sighed as she stared at the number and e-mail Shinji left. She looked up at the ceiling, and closed her eyes. She felt horrible. Physically she was fine, but the images had done a lot of damage. She had seen her parents, Kouji, all those children, it. The images left her weak. It had swatted through every defence she had that prevented such images to enter her sleeping state. She had stopped dreaming years ago, but to let such an image get to her was disturbing. She felt weak, unworthy again. She fought and lost miserably. Her opponent for as far back as she could remember was the ways of society. Often as she could she would try to defy society, dressing beyond of the average tomboy, acting beyond of the average tomboy, ate beyond the average tomboy. In her mind she was a guy. For as long as she knew she hated being treated like a girl. It was what destroyed her on that day when Kouji died. She still blamed herself and Reika for what happened. She had allowed herself to be vulnerable and it destroyed her and killed Kouji. She still regretted it to this day.

She wondered why she even felt like a girl. Even when people complimented her she never blushed, she never felt hot, she never felt giddy. She always said thank you and then business as usual. Yet somehow Shinji changed her. His words, his kindness, his sincerity, his actions, everything about him sparked something inside her. From the moment he gazed her Wednesday he had changed a lot about her. She became more aware of her surroundings, of herself, of her family and the people around. She even saw certain boys in different lights. She could sense things about them she never could before, such as their sensitive sides, their expressions whether it was true concern, or hidden lewdness, she could see them and more. She never expressed her findings but she kept note of them. It was a whole new world to her. She felt like she had been reborn as the girl she was meant to be. It seemed as if she had been given a second chance at life by Shinji.

The very thought of him heated her up as she felt her cheeks redden. It was an odd feeling yet she welcomed it. It felt good having someone see her in that light. Perhaps he could help her construct a new life. The goal seemed much more attainable now. In fact it excited her that without realising it she had she had risen from bed and was on the balcony.

She looked ahead to see the afternoon sun shining brightly over the mountains. It was a nice view. That was the thing she loved about her room. The balcony had the perfect view of the sunset and had the easiest access to the roof to stargaze. There was something peculiar about her view. It always gave her hope for a better day, allowing her to move on each day. For a time it had lost its powers and it's value. But just now she felt much better. She felt the light of the warm afternoon spring sun bath her in its glow. She felt its radiant energy flooded her rejuvenating her battered soul. She felt good, pleasant, almost happy, almost. She felt unsure if she could ever really be happy again, but she would try for him.

Rei looked down at the piece of paper and held it against her chest. Perhaps Shinji could help her heal. She considered it a possibility, and would take that chance when he had earned her trust. She had learned long ago that trust was very fragile and once broken was very hard to restore. She had trusted someone with her life and it cost her Kouji's life. She never forgave that person, and she didn't know if she could ever. Something about Shinji told her that he could be trusted and would be loyal to her, but she had to be sure. She would let him prove his worthiness.

Rei grabbed the phone and dialled his number. The phone rang for a few moments. Rei sighed and was about to hang when someone picked up.

"Moshi, moshi, Katsuragi residence."

"Katsuragi?" Rei whispered in surprise.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

'Misato-san, who's that?' a voice asked on the other end.

"Shinji," Rei thought. "May I speak to Ikari-kun?"

"Oh, may I ask who this is?"

"It's…it's…" Rei paused as she pondered whether or not to present herself.

"It's alright, just a moment."

"Hello?"

"Ikari-kun?" Rei slowly spoke.

"Ayanami-chan," said Shinji's voice, "are you alright? You gave us a scare yesterday." Rei felt herself blush. He genuinely cared for her. Although people did care for her it was more of friendly way. She always felt good that people cared for her. But this was different. She still felt good, yet, she felt warm, relieved, and maybe a bit glad that Shinji cared for her. She somehow felt more secure about herself whenever Shinji expressed his concern.

"I am fine, Ikari-kun."

"What a relief," he sighed.

"Ikari-kun, would you still like to take me to the movies?" Rei nervously asked.

"Are you sure?" he asked cautiously. "I know we rescheduled to today and all, but you did have that nightmare last night."

"Hai, I am sure. I…wish to clear my head." There was a moment of silence where Rei began to worry about his response. She suddenly felt scared; of what she was unable to determine. She began to tremble in fear. She didn't want this feeling of security to suddenly go away, not when she just found it.

"Ikari-kun?" she worriedly asked.

"Sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to scare you. I had to feed Pen-Pen."

"Pen-Pen?"

"My godmother's pet warm water penguin, and please don't ask. And how about I pick you up around 6 tonight?"

"It is agreeable."

"Great, I'll see you then."

"Hai, ja ne, Ikari-kun."

"Ja ne, Ayanami-chan."

Following hanging up the phone, Rei lay back on her bed and looked up as a wide smile formed on her face. She felt good, relieved, warm, and most of all happy. She was going on a date with Shinji Ikari. She had done something she believed that most girls had considered the impossible. She had found that something about his shy, possibly introvert nature had drawn girls. Many girls flocked towards him in hopes to get to know him or even date him. But more often than not their actions often scared him and chased him off. But yet with some of the more quiet girls like her, he could interact with them much easier. Not long before he had transferred, her sister made a hypothesis that quiet introvert people interacted better with people who were much like them. She never bothered to prove her it, but Rei had discovered that it held substance. Shinji interacted with people who hid in the corners, were shy, or introvert with greater ease than with people who were more flamboyant such as Asuka. In fact she noted that he was terrified of her. Why she never bothered, but assumingly her extreme outgoing nature was not something he could appreciate.

Rei looked at her clock to see it read 2:30pm. She still had roughly three hours and a half to get ready. She sighed and got out of bed and headed for Ritsuko's office to tell her she was going to head out.

At the same time at the Katsuragi residence, a much more lively discussion was being held.

"So, Shinji, a girl was it now?" Misato asked in a playful tone.

Shinji immediately blushed at the question as he set the phone down, "H-h-hai, Misato-san."

"Oh I see," she replied in an all knowing manner as her eyes narrowed and a playful smirk crept up along her face. "Somebody got himself a hot date."

"Misato-san," Shinji whined.

"So who is this Ayanami-chan? A bright, flamboyant popular girl?"

"I-I-I-"

"Oh no worries, I'll just look in last year's yearbook," Misato happily exclaimed as she pulled out a large hardcover book. "Now let's see," she muttered as she leafed through the pages. "Rei Ayanami? YOU'RE DATING HER!"

"Misato-san? What's wrong?" he asked, cringing back in fear.

"Yes there is," she growled as she walked up to him. Shinji remained paralyzed as Misato approached him.

He suddenly found himself in a bear hug as Misato said, "You're dating the adopted sister of my best friend Ritsuko!"

"You know Ritsuko-san?" Shinji gasped as he struggled to get out of Misato's grip.

"We were college buddies," she explained. "She told me that she had three adoptive children; two sisters and a brother."

"Wait…I never knew the Ayanami's had a brother," Shinji exclaimed, finally pushing Misato back as he looked at her in surprise.

"Really?" Misato asked in surprise. "I'm sure you would've met him. Kouji should be 12 by now."

"But, I…I never saw a Kouji," Shinji explained. "I've seen a few pictures of the family, and none of them show a picture of a younger brother."

"Hmm…that's odd. I'll ask Ritsuko about it tonight then," Misato said. "I'm going to take a nap. Wake me up around 5:30. I'll drive you to her place, and leave you there." Shinji sighed as he watched his guardian leave him alone in his thoughts. As he sat back in his chair his expression told one he was in very deep thought.

Soon enough 6:00 was just around the corner, and Rei felt downright nervous. She had never gone out on a date with anyone. She hung out, but this, this was a new experience. Already she felt anxiety as she waited for Shinji's arrival. She gave herself a once over as she waited. She wore a white sleeveless shirt that had a cherry blossom tree on the back, her Ayanami jean jacket, and instead of her knee length skirt she wore a black mid thigh skirt. It was the ensemble that Ritsuko helped put together with some of Reika's clothes. She wore a bit of blush, a hint of azure eye shadow, and the cherry blossom hairpin held some of her hair behind her left ear. She always liked doing that and saw no problem in doing that.

She didn't know what to expect. She looked good, but wondered if the date was going to be good, and what about Shinji. What were his expectations, and how was he going to act during the date. So many questions and possibilities ran through her mind as she paced back and forth in her room. She wondered if she he would try anything, if the activities would be fun, if she would embarrass herself, if she would have a good time, many, many things raced through her mind as she waited. It wracked her nerves as she waited.

After what felt like an eternity she rushed down to open the door. After all this time she had wallowed in sadness. She had allowed the death of Kouji to bring her down and let her grief consume her. She had stood by as she allowed people to walk all over her and make a fool out of her. For too long she had suffered. Now she had a chance to let it all behind her for a short time and live. She needed to be free and this was it. It was her shot at freedom; her chance to be free from the memories; her choice to move on.

"Ikari-kun," she happily greeted, greatly surprising her and Shinji. She never spoke in such a manner. Even back then she never did, be it in public or at home. However considering the circumstances she let it pass.

"Ayanami-chan," Shinji nervously greeted. He wore a red collared shirt with the top button undone, blue jeans, and a simple black jacket. Behind him was a woman in her early thirties. She had long lavender hair reaching down to her shoulder blades, brown eyes, and the widest smile on her face. For a moment the two stared at each other. There was something familiar about the smile on her face. She had seen it before but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"Konbanwa," Rei politely greeted as she bowed. "I am Ayanami Rei."

"Have you already forgotten me, Rei-chan?" the woman replied.

"Have we met?" Rei asked as she looked up at the woman.

"Misato?" Ritsuko called out from behind her.

"It's Katsuragi-san?" Rei asked mentally.

"Ritsuko," Misato called out as she walked past Rei and hugged her friend. "Long time no see, how you been?"

"I've been great," she replied. "It's been what, 4 years since we last met?"

"Sounds like it. So how about we let these two go on their date while we catch up eh?" Misato suggested as she winked at the two. Rei and Shinji immediately blushed as they both looked at their feet in embarrassment. For a moment the two remained silent while Ritsuko and Misato entered the kitchen to continue talking. It was a bit of an awkward silence between the two, yet Rei felt content. Despite the silence, Shinji's presence soothed her battered soul. For some strange reason she felt completely at ease around him. She never felt the haunting presence of her past or those who bullied her in school. It was he and only he that ever made her feel comfortable enough to let her guard down. Perhaps it would be he who would be her healer, her guardian, and with luck her life partner.

"Ikari-kun, shall we proceed?" Rei nervously asked.

"Uh…hai," he replied in the same tone as he held his arm out towards the door. Rei nodded and headed out with Shinji just behind her as he closed the door.

"Ikari-kun, may I ask where we are going?"

"I'll be driving us to the movies," he explained as they walked down the stairs.

"Driving? You possess a driver's licence?"

"Hai," he responded as he pointed towards the blue Renaults parked behind Ritsuko's black Honda Accord. Rei had no comments mentally or verbally, so she remained silent. Shinji opened the door for her which made Rei blush. It was a common practice for the male to be courteous to the female but to actually experiencing such courtesy left her flustered. She nodded and sat down and strapped herself in as she waited for Shinji to enter.

The drive to the movies was uneventful, but it was a calming silence. It gave Rei a chance to think more about what's been happening to her throughout the week. Wednesday started off the same, with usual morning grieving, followed by a day of torture from Asuka and her friends. She had shrugged it off but little by little it picked at her, destroying her slowly. She often tried to hide somewhere but more often than not someone from Asuka's crew would find her and bully her to no end at one point or another. The torture became an endless ritual she had long ago accepted it. It was also that day that began to change her. Shinji had come over to work on a biology project with Reika, but she had karate practice. So during the wait he had tried to talk to her but failed miserably. So he had remained silent, but something about his gaze during that time had stirred something inside her. It slowly sparked something inside her that she had long thought had died. He somehow revived her soul. It was weak but it lived. From there she had originally strike up a deal with Reika to have Asuka removed as a threat but the deal was dissolved the moment she slapped Asuka. It was also that day he had asked her to go out on a date with her Friday, and then later rescheduled to Saturday. All in all, it had been an interesting week, three days to be precise. She hoped that the date would be as interesting and refreshing as most people seem to indicate it is. She and Shinji would soon find out if they were made for one another.

At the movie theatre Rei felt overwhelmed. The lobby was crowded with people coming and going. There were couples and families throughout that she instinctively grabbed Shinji's arm and held on. She never liked crowds; this was too much for her. She felt extreme anxiety build up in her. She just wanted to scream and run out of the building. Shinji apparently had noticed her anxiety and picked a relatively quiet movie, quickly grabbed some popcorn and drinks, and guided her to the theatre. Throughout the whole time she held on tight to Shinji's arm. She felt the blood flow in his arm nearly came to a halt but she wouldn't let go. She wanted to but felt scared to be in such an environment. She felt a bit faint, but held on tightly as they made their way though the crowds until Shinji found the theatre that was playing the movie the tickets stated.

Upon entering the theatre Rei felt some tension leave her. It was a large dark room, but there weren't that many people scattered throughout the room. Shinji led her to a corner far from most people and sat down. Rei felt relieved. She always had that problem about crowds.

"Ayanami-chan, are you alright?" Shinji asked worriedly.

"Hai," Rei shakily answered as she tried to slow her breathing. "I am uncomfortable around crowds."

"It was more like you wanted to run out of the place," Shinji commented.

"I am somewhat cluster phobic. I am fine in cramped spaces; however in crowds I often had panic attacks. That is why I rarely am seen in the cafeteria or more often occupied areas in the school during breaks. My phobia prevents me. That is why you often see me at the edge of crowds." Shinji nodded understandingly as he gave pass over her drink, and offered some popcorn. Rei smiled and accepted both.

The movie they watched was an old movie made in over 20 years that had been digitally remastered and played in theatres again. The plot seemed fine but a lot of the religious content just made the movie that much hard to follow. The movie mostly ranted on and on about Human Instrumentality and how it was the main character's choice to restart life or end it and all that nonsense. Neither of them really caught on with the storyline, but watched it nonetheless for the battles. However the second half the story focused more on psychological aspects that they simply sat there and watched, not understanding a single thing. Soon after Shinji quickly escorted her out of the theatre, and took her on a walk around the city. They passed several interesting shops and stands and looked around. About 8:30 their stomachs began to act up so they found refuge in a simple quiet ramen restaurant that Shinji knew of.

Up until now Rei had been absorbed into the city sights. But now they had stopped and rest, Rei began to evaluate what has happened to so far. Overall the date's been excellent. Shinji seemed trustworthy. He was kind to her, respected her weaknesses, and even drove them to the movie theatre. And during their walk Shinji somehow managed to lead her to the most interesting of places and yet able to avoid the larger crowds that still roamed the streets. That secure feeling whenever she was around Shinji was stronger than ever. Inside the theatre, when they were walking, even now sitting in the quiet booth she felt safe around him. They had encountered a few odd people and almost as if it were an instinctive reaction, Rei noticed that Shinji would cover her. Rei couldn't help but smile. He cared for her. Yet somehow it seemed a bit weird. Why would he display such care when he hardly knew her? Was it in his nature? Or was there something more?

"Ikari-kun, may I ask, why do you treat me so? Is there something you wish in return?"

"What?" Shinji sputtered nearly choking on his tea.

"Your acts of kindness, the way you protected me in school and tonight, it leads me to believe you have an ulterior motive, Ikari-kun."

"I … I thought … I thought you of all people would understand why I do it," Shinji whispered sadly. "It's in my nature to be kind and respectful. I'm not like other guys. I thought that you'd see it. I guess I was wrong." Now she had done it. She ended up doing the very thing she didn't want happen to her. She hurt Shinji's feelings, just because of her suspicions. She felt uneasy seeing Shinji so downtrodden. She wanted to make things better but she was unsure how. She thought about what to say for some time before only one thing came to mind.

"Ikari-kun, gomen ne. I am unused to dating people," she quietly explained, yet shamefully hid her eyes with her bangs. "I spent two years enduring bullying that I questioned your motives. I mistook true kindness as a front for a darker purpose."

"Ayanami-chan," Shinji quietly called out, "what caused you to be the way you are? Why do you seem so distant before today?" Rei looked up to Shinji's face to see him look at her concernedly.

"I … I prefer to not disclose that information," she replied in barely a whisper. Thinking about that hurt too much. She didn't want to have to tell the tale, only to suffer from it. She wasn't ready to let Shinji into that part of her life just yet.

"It's alright," Shinji replied, smiling. "I understand. You don't have to tell me."

"Thank you, Ikari-kun."

"By the way, Misato-san mentioned that you had a brother named Kouji. How come I never met him?" Rei instantly froze at the mention of Kouji. How did Shinji know about Kouji? Not that many people knew about him, and whoever did had either graduated, or had moved away. So how could an outside party like Shinji find out about Kouji? She then remembered that Misato hadn't seen them for four years. She couldn't have known what had happened. However despite the fact that Misato disclosed something without realising the repercussion, she started to shake. Even hearing the mention of his name brought bad memories. The results would be that she would start shaking, feel cold, and sometimes, would start crying like now.

"Ayanami-chan, what's wrong," Shinji asked, noticing the stream of tears from her eyes. She felt him got up and stood next to her as she clenched her eyes tight just to hold back the tears. However no matter how hard she tried, the tears just kept coming, and the images started to surface. Her breathing started to labour as she tried to control herself. She didn't want to make a scene, nor embarrass herself in front of Shinji. Last thing she needed was Shinji to see her in such a weak state again.

"Ayanami-chan, what's wrong? Tell me what's wrong," Shinji pleased, worry weaved in his voice.

"Don't – don't – please, don't even say his name again," Rei sputtered. She was suddenly bombarded with images of blood, a crippled body, the pendant, images her and Kouji sitting on the roof star gazing, watching TV, listening to Dam Dariram, even the last Christmas they spent together. It was all too much as she got up and ran.

So how was that? Please give me your opinions and reviews, all would be greatly appreciated.

Well anyways, that's all from me

Cheers Ja ne