Ghost would be lying if he said he slept more then a minute tonight. He was sharing a bed with you for god's sake and that alone kept him staring at the ceiling the whole night. He would be lying right through his teeth if he said he never wanted to share a bed with you. He wanted to but just never in this type of way. He never thought he would have to comfort you from the evil dreams that plagued your mind already. He was hoping those wouldn't get to you so quickly. He knew you had nightmares from time to time. Everyone on the team did. Your line of work was not the cleanest and you would unfortunately pay the price for it. But you always seemed so strong.
Ghost found you very interesting from the moment he laid eyes on you. At first he thought you were annoying. You were sometimes very loud and Ghost was a very quiet, straight to business type of guy. You were also very smiley which was odd to see at a base like the 141's. Soap was the first to show many smiles around the team and then you came and showed even more smiles then him. You joined the team with Graves, both being from the same task force originally, and Ghost was not very fond of Graves. Especially not now. But with you coming with Graves he thought you would be the same as him. He was entirely wrong.
What made Ghost start the like you was the jokes. You could take jokes just as well as you could give them. Which was good because this group could sometimes be a rowdy bunch. You also laughed at his dad jokes when no one did so that was an automatic score for Ghost. You always said the dad jokes reminded you of your family.
After the first few missions Ghost realized just how good your skill was. To join with the 141 you had to be skilled he just didn't know to what degree until he saw it up-close himself. You performed amazingly under pressure, saving Ghost's ass more then he cared to admit. That's when he started to trust you as one of his teammates. You were the person Ghost had trusted quickest. Ghost also never wanted to admit that. Especially to Soap, he knew the man would take it personally.
It wasn't till a few months in that Ghost started to realize just how physically attractive you were. He would catch himself staring like a schoolboy and would nearly slap himself for doing so. When you guys would spar he would sometimes catch himself glancing then quickly have to turn away before he was caught by Soap. You had a tone body with very nice curves as Ghost would put it in his mind. God the man was so touch starved and he didn't even know it.
What made him really cherish you as a person was your personality. You were alway so welcoming and warm. For someone like Ghost, that was hard to come by In his years of life. It attracted Ghost to you more. You treated and respected him like family just a few months in. It astounded him with how fast you trusted people. It took him years to trust Soap fully. But on the contrary this is what made Ghost stop his feeling then and there. You were to trusting, too welcoming, too… perfect for him to believe it. It's like you had wrapped your finger around him and drew him in all to quickly. That had never happened to Ghost. It made him place a big question mark over you. You made him so confused. He thought about you way to much and didn't want it to get in the way of the team or the missions. He didn't want to label those feelings either. That didn't stop him from being around your presence though. He enjoyed being your friend and didn't want to ruin that with feelings he knew for certain you didn't return. He enjoyed the warmth and comfort you gave him and he wanted to protect that warmth and happiness for as long as he could. So before he knew it he was putting himself in harms way to protect you on missions. He would always get a scolding from you after the fact but he never cared. He always listened to you and just watch you rant about how stupid he was. No matter how much pain he was in he always smiled behind the mask a little. He knew he would always do stupid reckless things for you.
Everything was fine for a while. Ghost had come to terms with never labeling or admitting his feelings. His life was full of secrets and this would just be another to the pile. It wasn't till things started to change a few months ago. It was all because of Graves.
Yes, Ghost hated Graves from the beginning because he was a stupid, know it all, douchebag, but it was also partially because Graves had spent so much time with you. You both came from the same force before the 141 so he knew there was possibly some history there and he was jealous, although he would never admit it of course. Ghost was never a man of jealousy because he never cared about anything enough to be jealous of it. He was envious that Graves got to spend more time with you in the past. He got to know you longer and been around you more.
What struck Ghost as odd is that you were always the most straight forward with Graves and always made the least amount of jokes with him and avoided him the most. It was something he noticed quite often while eating meals. He wouldn't talking much ever but he would constantly observe his surroundings. That's was when he first noticed it. You would instantly shut down any flattery he threw towards you. Ghost always thought you might have had a fight or even possibly a falling out. Ghost never mentioned it to you. He didn't want you to think he was weird or think he was meddling in your business. He knew he didn't like when people meddled in his.
Now he knew the reason why you were so short with Graves. Graves would die because of it.
What happened to you changed everything. It was the nail on the coffin that his feelings would never be said. After what happened to you he never knew if you would want him. Possibly never even want him in a more passionate way. Because he wanted you passionately and to himself. Even if it was just once he wanted you. He would never admit that. He cared for you as a person and would never put that type of pressure on you. That would be too selfish of him. He would never deserve you. You were too perfect even if you never saw it. He didn't want to scar you with his trauma. You saw what he did to men on a daily basis yet you still looked at him like he had never done wrong in his life. Ghost always thought that admitting those feelings to you meant labeling them as well and that in itself scared Ghost far more then any mission ever could.
Ghost had to admit it was hard saying that you needed him and wanted him around when it wasn't for the reason he originally wanted them to be. He was happy to be by your side at all hours of the day but he knew it was because you trusted him as a teammate and didn't want to be alone with your dreams. He respected that and would do everything in his power to help you heal. He would be selfless for you. The most selfless he would ever be. It just made him so confused. Ghost had always shoved his feelings to the deepest parts of his soul and with these feelings he was trying to do the same but for some reason is was so much fucking harder.
Laying in a bed with you now made his heart beat too quickly. He was so scared he would hurt you or roll over in his sleep so he stayed awake and stayed as still as possible. He would look over at your face every so often to make sure you were okay. He would check the monitors too to make sure everything looked normal. You looked so peaceful. He was happy to see you getting decent rest, yet it had only been a few hours. There were more to go.
So that's what Ghost did through the hours of the night, check the clock, check your monitors, check your breathing and occasionally close his eyes.
He didn't want to fall asleep fully either. Not that he normally does, he's usually a pretty light sleeper. He didn't want to fully sleep in case he heard you stir. He wanted to be ready if you woke up because of a bad dream.
Your heart monitor started to beep rapidly. Ghost opened his eyes looking back at the number that it read. It was way to high for someone sleeping. He looks are your face. You don't move a muscle your face looks peaceful and solemn. He takes off the glove of one of his hands and feels your forehead.
You were breaking out in cold sweats. Your breathing starts to pick up as well.
"Jesus Chaser."
He tries to gently shake you awake. You don't budge. Your arms feels sickly to the touch.
"Wake up (Y/N). Wake up" he says a little less gently since you don't budge.
He takes your face in his hands, "Wake up (Y/N)!" He says a little louder and with much concern. Ghost's mind was everywhere. Why weren't you waking up?! What the hell were you dreaming about that kept you so locked in."
Your breathing picked up once more as you going into the early stages of hyperventilating. The heart monitor continues to beep even more rapidly.
Ghost shakes you gently by the shoulders , "(Y/N) wake up!"
You bolt up in an instant, breathing heavily and nearly wheezing. You look to Ghost and jump back, "get away from me!" You yell.
Ghost puts his arms up in surrender, "I'm off Chaser I'm off,"
"Get off! Get off!" You say are you kick and thrash at Ghost he nearly falls off the bed as he backs up away from you.
"(Y/N) it's me Simon. You need to breath Chaser. You're going to hyperventilate."
You wheeze trying to look around and gather your bearings.
"Ghost?" Your breathing is still off the charts. Your heart monitor beeping like crazy.
"Breath Chaser Breath. In and out slowly." He says as he takes a few steps toward you.
"Ghost make it stop. Ghost make it stop." You say as you are breathing so intently you could feel your vision fading.
"Chaser I'm trying just listen to me, breath in and out slowly. Slowly Chaser"
You try to calm your mind and focus on your breathing. In out in out in out.
It was slowly working but your heart rate was still too fast. A nurse barges through the door at the sounds of your heart monitor.
Ghost turns around to her. It's the same nurse that informed him in the hall way.
"She's gonna have a heart attack!" She yells are she runs over to you to inject you with a syringe. It was more medication. You were out like a light. Your breathing and heart finally stabilized within minutes.
"She had a dream didn't she?" Says the nurse to Ghost.
"She did. I've never seen them this bad." He replies.
"They are common with our work. She's had many night mares back at the dorms but never to this extent." Continues Ghost.
The nurse nodded. "Ring that button on the wall if you can't calm her down. We will have to give her more sedatives. "
He nods as the nurse leaves the room once more.
Shit.
You were having constant night terrors to the extent that this was happening. Just what exactly did Graves do to you in there.
He knew those dreams quite well. That had become an old friend. The dreams where you can see and you're awake but the panic is still locked in.
Ghost was happy that he could speak with you and you were trying to calm your self down which was progress but it wasn't enough. This was to be expected. You had only been back not even a week. This would be the worst of the dreams. And he would help you through it no matter what. Ghost tried to remind himself that it only gets better from here.
Ghost sighed, looking at your now restless body, your breathing and heart beat strong and steady.
"Bloody hell Chaser. You about gave me another scare."
He sat back in his chair resting his head. He knew you wouldn't wake up for another few hours thanks to the nurse. Mind as well get some sleep.
So Ghost slept while you did as well and he would check if you were okay in the morning.
It was the only thing he could do.